Parents don't approve of girlfriend

[Roober]

When the people closest to you, especially those that know you best, give you relationship advice, it is probably a good idea to listen. That does not mean you need to end it, however, it is likely a good idea to do your diligence to understand their reasoning.

Think about it einstein, BOTH of your parents dont like her. They want the best for you, and don't see it in this woman. I am guessing your family is healthy cause they bring up her weight. You have to consider this reality. An overweight person exhibits many poor behaviors that have led to their weight issues...

Dont be so quick to write off their advice as their problem, it just makes you sound like a spoiled little kid. They are not saying she is a bad woman, just that she is not a good fit for you.

 

[Infern0]

OP it sounds to me like your parents are controlling bro.

I don't care if your gf is a little overweight or whatever, if you like her then cool.

You need to be your own man in these situations, take other people's opinions into consideration but if they are saying the don't like her because she's a bit overweight then that's just some BS.

I've had some great times with slightly overweight girls with pretty faces... rock on

 

[Stephen89]

You're in your 30s bro.

Your parents are giving you advice however it's ultimately up to you and you don't need your approval.

If you like her then it's fine.

 

[Serenity]

What do you guys think?

I'd at least explore if there is any legitimate reason at all for your parents to view your GF that way. Have you asked exactly what makes them think she's low quality, what they think is unattractive and why the fvck they care so much? If you're not blinded by love and there really isn't much of a reason for them to disapprove, then move on to the next step below.

Was this the right decision?

No, it is not. Hiding the truth from your parents is never the right decision, it will eat you up inside. Am I the only guy who rebels against his parents when they are being unacceptable? I'd tell my parents to fvck off in a heartbeat if they pulled that sh!t on me. I'd confront them about their disrespectful behavior, show my disgust and do the thing anyone would expect of their son, walk away! If they don't turn around after you showing how fvcking insulting they're being, then do you really want those type of toxic people in your life?

Anyone else have a similar situation?

Not exactly similar as in parents won't accept GF, but similar in that one of my parents was treating me unacceptably. My mother would absolutely tear me apart if I didn't have strong boundaries. She has lied and manipulated many times, I'm not having any of that unacceptable behavior. I'm independent, I don't need my parents, but I'll gladly keep them around if they're more like good friends. My mother is not a good friend, so she can fvck off.

Your parents don't have special privileges, if they behave like assh0les, then they're assh0les and should be treated like assh0les. Lying to keep the peace isn't worth it, you're better off risking your parents resenting you. So call them out and don't give in. Tell them you won't accept their behavior. Even better, tell them you lied about ending the relationship, that it was only to stop them from acting like asshats.

Don't worry if they're hurt by what you say, it's the truth and hurting them is the point.

 

[Ranger]

Listen to your parents maan. Don't go who cares what they think. Firstly, the girl is long distance, that means she's fcking somebody else that's not even under discussion. Secondly she's ugly and obviously bellow your SMV. Thirdly why get serious. While the btch is away, which she is most of the time according to you, just spin plates, from plates pick a girlfriend.

I’m going with backseat on this.

Think of family as a tribe. Bringing someone into the tribe is bringing them into that gene pool.
I don’t think your parents are consciously aware of WHY they feel this way. They just have to come up with something to say to align with their feelings.

 

[Alvafe]

one thing I did learn dealing with my parents is, if i'm doing something and they don't like, I'm doing it right

but you have 3 problems here, first long distance relationship, you are not really trying to improve, you are thinking on I can't do better, that never goes well, you still let your parents, worse, your mom tells you what you should be doing

 

[The Duke]

Did ex-wife blow you out at the end of the marriage and perhaps mom was "right"?

No, mom was never right. One of the golden rules is never put much stock in what women think! It's been repeated many times on here for a reason. Most are too emotional.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No, mom was never right. One of the golden rules is never put much stock in what women think! It's been repeated many times on here for a reason. Most are too emotional.

Your right. Theyll probably hate someone they know will be good for you.

 

[lamath]

I’m going with backseat on this.

Think of family as a tribe. Bringing someone into the tribe is bringing them into that gene pool.
I don’t think your parents are consciously aware of WHY they feel this way. They just have to come up with something to say to align with their feelings.

If most ppl in your familty dont like a women you are dating, i think you should take an unbias look at what kind of person she is.

Take it with a grain of salt if its only a few members of family that dont like her


My now ex never had a good relationship with most of my family, it was a sign i did not see.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If most ppl in your familty dont like a women you are dating, i think you should take an unbias look at what kind of person she is.

Take it with a grain of salt if its only a few members of family that dont like her


My now ex never had a good relationship with most of my family, it was a sign i did not see.

If your family is shady That would be a good thing.

 

[Ranger]

If most ppl in your familty dont like a women you are dating, i think you should take an unbias look at what kind of person she is.

Take it with a grain of salt if its only a few members of family that dont like her


My now ex never had a good relationship with most of my family, it was a sign i did not see.

Yep. I’m familiar with this. Especially from my sisters.
They can see things that we don’t. It’s like voodoo between women.

 

[Ranger]

If your family is shady That would be a good thing.

That’s a good point. Scam artists can smell another scam artist.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That’s a good point. Scam artists can smell another scam artist.

Yea but a shady bunch may hate someone of good moral character. That part. The wicked hate the pure of heart.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Or if your family just couldn't stand to see you happy.

 

[backseatjuan]

I would also say this, your parents don't approve of the girlfriend because you 'most likely' are not accomplished yet. They afraid you'd fall into becoming a family man and get stuck with sht financial situation. Which they are right, you want your own business or high paying job, you want that 150k per year minimum and more, you want that passive income. Look at it this way, if you focus on your financial situation and your body, you will have any girl you want, HB9 whatever.

This perhaps the most important thing.

 

[marmel75]

Why are you wasting time in a LDR? This screams "I'm just happy to have someone!" while you pretend this is going somewhere...

Basically you are wasting your time, but you are afraid to be alone because you are afraid to go find someone new close by.

Only desperate dudes settle for LDR's.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hey guys,

I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 6 months now....I have to admit, it's really hard but I'm dealing with it pretty well for now....

However, my parents met her over a month ago and they didn't really care for her...Not because she is a bad person but my mother doesn't think she is attractive and a good quality woman...My father agrees with my mother....

I admit, she wasn't my type physically but her personality is what makes her attractive to me. I believe she is a good person and I feel really good when I'm with her even though we don't get to see each other much because of the distance....We do talk everyday though..

The sex is great.

However, my relationship with my parents really went downhill because of my relationship. I'm an adult and I live alone....I'm old enough to make my own decisions....But I couldn't handle my mother's attitude when speaking to me...She was always emotional and upset because of my relationship....I couldn't even talk to her because she always started up with me because of my girlfriend.

Finally, I made the decision to tell them that I am going to end it....But I'm not going to end it....As soon as I told them that, they changed their behavior and started to act normal again....

Honestly, I hate "lying" to my parents but I never said when I was going to end it....If the relationship doesn't work out at some point, which is possible, then so be it...But I couldn't live with myself if I broke it off just because of them....So for now, I'm continuing with her and they think it's over...

What do you guys think? Was this the right decision? Anyone else have a similar situation?

LDR aren't relationships. Its female logic for optimisation of hypergamy and your being the water boy fallback.

Next her. Or plate her.

Women will claw the eyes out of every man women and child to get to the alpha male. No exception.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I would also say this, your parents don't approve of the girlfriend because you 'most likely' are not accomplished yet. They afraid you'd fall into becoming a family man and get stuck with sht financial situation. Which they are right, you want your own business or high paying job, you want that 150k per year minimum and more, you want that passive income. Look at it this way, if you focus on your financial situation and your body, you will have any girl you want, HB9 whatever.

This perhaps the most important thing.

I am split. Biz owner yes. Chasing up the corporate ladder for 150k means that you generate 10x what you are paid. Its blood money.

Personal preference, i rather much less in my own biz living abroad /remote from corporate life which is super cucky.

I agree with you on the LTR. LDR is cuck. Its not a relationship and it guarantees she optimisation of her hypergamy and he is stumpy.

 

[soulforge]

Why are you wasting time in a LDR? This screams "I'm just happy to have someone!" while you pretend this is going somewhere...

Basically you are wasting your time, but you are afraid to be alone because you are afraid to go find someone new close by.

Only desperate dudes settle for LDR's.

Listen to this man.. I pulled off my LDR for two years, and believe me, they will not benefit you in the long run.

It will eventually turn to chit.. The risks are too high, and long term nothing good will come out of it.

I would drop her just on the basis it is LDR and save yourself some future ball ache.

Your only seeing her once a month.. Thats nothing man..

Plus, like YOU said she might not be able to move with you, it depends if she can find employment in your sate.

This is what I suggest. give her maximum 3 months time frame to move near you.. If this does not happen, then totally get rid of her!

 

[Atom Smasher]

Love is blindness, to quote U2.

When several family members are against a woman you are seeing, they most likely see things that you don’t. Their opinions should be carefully considered at least.

I strongly recommend not moving in together. The entire relationship dynamic will change and you two will be stuck with each other. Complications usually develop when you shack up with a woman, and it rarely ends well. It’s nothing more than a pretend marriage.