Not all girls **** test...

[Ranger]

The tests never go away, is what you’re saying.
Like that David Deida chapter. ‘Stop waiting for your woman to get easier’

In a way. But not straight up. It’s more
like “do I still feel protected” type of situation.

Her concern is always HER situation. Not yours. A woman can’t see past that so don’t expect it. Men exist to protect and serve from her reality. In the present society that’s the way it really is.

So if you think about where she is coming from and put yourself in her shoes, it is easier to see what destabilizes her. In other words makes her feel exposed and vulnerable.
The tendency is to start doing everything for her or always sucking up to see if she is ok. This is a death nail. You must be willing to cut her loose if necessary. So to do that you can never stop being the masculine male leader. It has to All be on your terms. I know that goes against your up-bring but it’s true. That’s where she can find herself and her femininity.
A woman if left to her own devices will wreck nearly every part of her life and still think she’s “strong” and amazing. It’s so bizarre.

 

[flowtheory]

In a way. But not straight up. It’s more
like “do I still feel protected” type of situation.

Her concern is always HER situation. Not yours. A woman can’t see past that so don’t expect it. Men exist to protect and serve from her reality. In the present society that’s the way it really is.

So if you think about where she is coming from and put yourself in her shoes, it is easier to see what destabilizes her. In other words makes her feel exposed and vulnerable.
The tendency is to start doing everything for her or always sucking up to see if she is ok. This is a death nail. You must be willing to cut her loose if necessary. So to do that you can never stop being the masculine male leader. It has to All be on your terms. I know that goes against your up-bring but it’s true. That’s where she can find herself and her femininity.
A woman if left to her own devices will wreck nearly every part of her life and still think she’s “strong” and amazing. It’s so bizarre.

So.. do what’s best for you ultimately, and keep the woman in mind?
Create your vision of love and life and take her along for the ride, while watching her actions and listening to what is going on with her.

 

[Fruitbat]

Testing never ends.

It’s not always testing as stated above, it’s just seeing what they can get away with.

The side effect is it win respects if you don’t do it, and you protect your integrity.

Example: my wife claimed she was cool with me following hot Instagram girls. I started following sluttier and sluttier until she saw me drooling over a bikini model, and she made me delete them all.

I pushed it and pushed it and got my answer. I’ll be a bit more careful of her views now.

Similarly, with drinking and partying. I came home at 11, then 1. When I came home at 6am we then (quite rightly) had to “discuss” it.

I wasn’t cheating or anything, hard drinking with buddies, but I was checking boundaries in a way.

They do that too. They aren’t sat there thinking “is he a man, how can I test his mettle”

They think “I really don’t want to do any housework and have him pay the bills and do all the work. How far can I push this?”

Then, if you do, side problem is she moves nowhere in life as she basically has a doormat. So she gets bored. Simple.

 

[Ranger]

So.. do what’s best for you ultimately, and keep the woman in mind?
Create your vision of love and life and take her along for the ride, while watching her actions and listening to what is going on with her.

If you like her let her come with you. Like is an important word. Love is a useless word.

 

[AJ84]

Everyone sh*t tests to some extent. Guys do too, it’s just that people here call it frame. Sh*t testing/frame - usually the same thing when you consider the intentions behind it. Not necessarily bad, not always good.

Human behaviour.

 

[flowtheory]

If you like her let her come with you. Like is an important word. Love is a useless word.

Why is it a useless word?

 

[ubercat]

Actually with the Good Girls the ****test can you throw you off more easily because they are rare. I d say making fun of it is fairly safe ignoring even safer and then occasionally go and head on destroy her arguments and withdraw attention to generate a bit of abandonment fear. would normally save that last method for the same sh1t test repeated ie. nagging.

Now let's be clear that's if you are being a good strong stable man. Drinking until 6 a.m. Will piss off any misses and quite rightly so.

unfortunately I can't find it anymore but somewhere on here they'd posted a Viking skald. basically the woman of the house were making fun of this guy because he was old when he d spent his entire life protecting and feeding them. A woman cares about her situation and her feelings until her last breath. Always keep your hand on your wallet and one foot out the door.

 

[flowtheory]

I understand why you need to sh1t test but it's not anything like keeping frame.

I actually do sh1t testing but only a pretty advanced guy has the wherewithal to do it.

I dated this model at the end of last summer for three months. We’ve had sex. Currently in a relationship with someone else. Out of the blue she messaged me today. I want to be transparent with my girl that this other woman sent this message and said she was thinking of me.
Is that a male form of a sh!t test? Is it a good idea to be honest like this? Or does it just cause bullish!t?
I know she’s probably going to get jealous in some form when I tell her. Maybe I shouldn’t. But she tells me when people reach out to her. And I think those are sh!t tests.. mind you she hasn’t slept with them..

 

[AJ84]

Punching someone is the same as self defense classes?

I understand why you need to sh1t test but it's not anything like keeping frame.

I actually do sh1t testing but only a pretty advanced guy has the wherewithal to do it.

Men post about how to effectively communicate with women to keep frame. Advice is usually to text less, create mystery/ interest, subtly let her know you have options, respond in a stoic way to any negative emotion she expresses etc.

What is the goal with those strategies? To influence her behaviour, thoughts and feelings towards him for his benefit, basically to get her to do what he wants her to do and not get roped into doing what he doesn’t want to do, like be an orbiter or emotional tampon.

When a guy posts about a woman doing those things to him, he’s told she’s sh*t testing him because she wants to get him to do what she wants. She wants commitment, or an emotional tampon, or an orbiter. She doesn’t want to be used for sex etc.

What’s different there? Nothing, they are both the same with the same goal - influencing feelings, thoughts and behaviours to get a desired outcome for their own benefit.

It is what it is. And it’s part of the whole dating thing, for better or worse. And people have to navigate this crap all the time.

But the way frame is described here, to me, seems no different then the way sh*t tests are described. I’m not saying one is worse than the other but I don’t see much of a difference, just a fancier name for one lol.

 

[Ranger]

I don’t believe in sh!t testing a woman. It’s tricks by a man who can’t hold his position in space.
You don’t need psychological warfare. Besides, in the long wrong you’re going to get beat.

A man’s biggest tool is indifference. She knows that everything she does is at her own risk. The curb is not far away and she can end up there quite easily. Masculine men will automatically have this frame. Feminine men will have to contrive and create elaborations. That is a feminine trait. It is an acknowledgement that he is powerless in the face of her “greatness” and sexuality.

This is disgusting. It’s like a guy pretending to be a Marine or a SEAL or high end executive when in fact he is an incompetent baboon. Just go buy some fukking tampons and join girl land.

 

[bob2007]

Low value women, if a girl has her own life she doesn't need **** test.
If she is low value, she needs to **** test you because she needs something from you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

2.75 years and still no sh!t test. I’m wondering if my general handling of the relationship actually prevents them. Could be a combo of that plus the fact that she has great character.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The biggest unicorn I dated did the most ruthless negging and testing imaginable lol. She complained it was impossible to make me jealous.

Unicorn == illusion