Is it something I am doing?

[Depressive2019]

Hi guys,

New on here, I have a relationship situation and am not sure how to handle this. I feel torn, angry and seriously pixxed off inside but I'm confused as to what I should do. I have tried asking friend, family, even a Christian minister but fundamentally this is my life and I am stuck with the consequences whatever happens.

To set the scene:

Me and Significant Other, together from 2017. I have two young children (one of each) from a previous relationship and she has one girl from a previous relationship. Mine are both 7, hers is 5.

In a nutshell my other half, who lives with me seems to have a serious problem with my children, despite the fact hers runs riot on a daily basis.

Me, her and her child live in my house full time and my children stay over for the weekend every fortnight.

My Mrs is from Czech, and I'm from the UK. Don't know if there's a cultural difference or I'm just being weak, but when my two children step out of line, even if it's just for something minor she is all over them. She flies into am angry rage, demands that they "explain themselves" and will even physically grab hold of them to prevent them walking off. This seems to be particularly aimed at my daughter, and my seven year old daughter now blanks her and will not speak to my Mrs. Of course I get it in the neck for this, and I am to blame for their actions.....

By contrast whenever her daughter does something wrong and I confront her, her mother instantly runs to her defence, gets angry and shouts in my face. In the past her daughter has kicked doors, smashed things, hit my own children, spat at them and been disrespectful to my parents. Just today I have asked her to tidy her room 3 times as she keeps throwing her blankets on the floor, and the last time I did this I was met with shouts, screaming and being called stupid.

The second issue is, she flat out refuses to claim maintenance from her child's dad. I by contrast pay above the odds for mine and am happy to do so. I have brought the issue up with her before, but she stormed off and walked down the road in a strop. We were out shopping at the time.

At home I am the one taking her daughter to school, paying for food, taking her to night classes, running errands and by her mother's encouragement she now calls me daddy.

I honestly feel like I have been cucked in this situation and I have been palmed off with the weight of someone else's child. I am losing respect for myself and the depression, anxiety and self loathing is setting in. I am now on pills for anxiety, again at her insistance and whenever I question anything I am being told I am "other thinking everything again"

Furthermore, my house is a mess. Constantly, and I'm physically drained from tidying and dealing with the drama from them two.

I never quite know what I'm going to walk into when I get home from work.

I get sex maybe once a week.

She wants to get married as soon as possible, so she can be "legally married" and wants a child to "cement things between us".

I am depressed as anything, and have done many hours of reading and watching YouTube videos in my spare time but none of it seems to help. I am trying to act as masculine, strong and emotionless as possible but I feel like a part of myself is dying somewhere.

Am I being to weak, emotional or caring too much?

Do I not care enough?

Any advice or questions is more than welcome, as I could never tell anyone any of this face to face. Feel free to ask me anything

 

[Ranger]

That situation would never work for me.
Marriage would be out of the question.

She wants you to put her children at the top of the list for provisions. This might be pretty normal as women want her and HER children to survive.

I have no advice. That’s a sh!t sandwich to me.

 

[lamath]

That situation would never work for me.
Marriage would be out of the question.

She wants you to put her children at the top of the list for provisions. This might be pretty normal as women want her and HER children to survive.

I have no advice. That’s a sh!t sandwich to me.

This


Sex once a week after 2 years, this is bad and trust me its gonna get way worst, wtf is she contributing to the relationship?
She has no respect for you, cant even have a serious talk about her short coming and what is bothering you?


Seriously you dont have that much invested in her yet., soon sex is gonna be once a month i promise you.
She does not deserve your support and help, she is using you.


Any self respecting man would dump asap before she gets pregnant on purpose.
DUMP DUMP DUMP.

Then i predict she will come back crawling because she need your financial support.
Dont pay for child thats not yours. DOnt ever take that women back she is low quality.





Better be alone than with a narcissistic women that ont give a **** about you except for what you can provide her.

 

[RangerMIke]

Really you can not fix this, if you had put your foot down hard the first time you got a wif of a problem with this chick... then stuck to your guns and be willing to walk away if it continued, then who knows... But now? Impossible... you have to get out. If you don't you will screw up any future potential relationship you might have with your daughter.

Look if she is behaving like this now... what do you think is going to happen when after you are married the government will be on her side. As it stands now, depending on where you live, you still might be liable for something simply because you live together. But whatever it costs you now is going to be a whole lot less than if you get hitched.

Bad news does not get better with time. I understand this is hard, but it will only get worse.

 

[lamath]

Look if she is behaving like this now... what do you think is going to happen when after you are married the government will be on her side. As it stands now, depending on where you live, you still might be liable for something simply because you live together. But whatever it costs you now is going to be a whole lot less than if you get hitched.

OP read this very carefully it is, it is going to be hell if you continue on this road and then it will be very hard to get any peace or happiness.

If you dont believe us go talk to one of your RL friend if she has not isolated you from them( very probable from whats ive read of her)

 

[Glassguy]

Me, her and her child live in my house full time

Your house, your rules

will even physically grab hold

Dude your kids are relying on you as their protector. Man the fvck up and put an end to this nonsense or you are not much of a father. Your kids arent going anywhere. This cvnt obviously isnt sticking around. Who is more important to you?

my house is a mess

Then clean it up.

I get sex maybe once a week.

You are the epitome of a beta male provider and you are totally allowing it. Nothing good comes of this.

She wants to get married as soon as possible, so she can be "legally married" and wants a child to "cement things between us".

That would be your worse possible move.

I am trying to act as masculine, strong

No youre not. You are a doormat.


I am going to give you some strong advice on what you need to do:

1.) Take a day off away from her and pack her shyte up. Have it waiting on her.

2.) Tell her that its not working out and she is leaving. If she refuses, call the police.

3.) Do not engage in ANY conversation about it. Give her 15 minutes to get enough of her and her kid's stuff to get out now.

4.) Have a friend come over to be there when this happens. You will need a witness so she cant say you hit her, etc.

5.) Keep cool. When she gets her shyte out, you block her number and purge her from any and all form of contact. Including social media.

You have allowed yourself to be put in a miserable situation.

Go look in the mirror. That guy starring back at you......your kids are relying on that guy. You need to take control of this situation right fvcking now for your kid's sake. Why the fvck would you allow this b!tch to treat your kids like this?

Jesus man. Come on. I've had full custody of my daughter since she was 6 (she is now 15). I havent allowed very many women around her but if one of them acted even remotely jealous, bitter or angry over her I would kick her @ss to the curb and not skip a beat.

Get a grip and kick her @ss out.

 

[Depressive2019]

An update for you all here, and I know some of you will not agree with my actions but never mind...

Last night her daughter called me a liar for no reason. So I took her Amazon tablet device off her and said for that you aren't using it for 24 hours....

Predictably her mum then gets angry and confronts me about this. I explained that she has no right to call me a liar in my own home and I'm not putting up with it anymore. She says I should shut up and stop acting like an "alpha male" making rules, like I own the place. (I do, it's my house)

She then wants a lift for her and her daughter to the dentist and for me to pay for the treatment. I tell her she can "fucxxg walk her silly azz there and pay for her daughter herself"


2 hours later she returns home (still angry) and puts her engagement ring down next to me.


Later she is demanding my daughters tablet from her, saying "if her daughter cannot have it, then neither can mine". At this point she is squaring up from my daughter 8 inches away from her face and shouting at her. My daughter is in tears and shaking I'm the corner.

I go over to try and diffuse the situation, saying that hers is being punished for a reason.

Out of Nowhere she slaps my daughter across the side of the head. Hard and with a loud noise!

In that moment, upon seeing my baby daughter get assaulted, something primal and testosterone fuelled clicks inside my head. No, deeper than in my mind, more from my soul or core...

I then give that bytch a slap across the face hard as I dare to avoid knocking her unconscious. She then looks at me with a look of shocked amazement that I've actually done something in response to her actions.

I tell her to get out of my house right now.

She refused, cops called and had to have them escort her off the premises

 

[lamath]

An update for you all here, and I know some of you will not agree with my actions but never mind...

Last night her daughter called me a liar for no reason. So I took her Amazon tablet device off her and said for that you aren't using it for 24 hours....

Predictably her mum then gets angry and confronts me about this. I explained that she has no right to call me a liar in my own home and I'm not putting up with it anymore. She says I should shut up and stop acting like an "alpha male" making rules, like I own the place. (I do, it's my house)

She then wants a lift for her and her daughter to the dentist and for me to pay for the treatment. I tell her she can "fucxxg walk her silly azz there and pay for her daughter herself"


2 hours later she returns home (still angry) and puts her engagement ring down next to me.


Later she is demanding my daughters tablet from her, saying "if her daughter cannot have it, then neither can mine". At this point she is squaring up from my daughter 8 inches away from her face and shouting at her. My daughter is in tears and shaking I'm the corner.

I go over to try and diffuse the situation, saying that hers is being punished for a reason.

Out of Nowhere she slaps my daughter across the side of the head. Hard and with a loud noise!

In that moment, upon seeing my baby daughter get assaulted, something primal and testosterone fuelled clicks inside my head. No, deeper than in my mind, more from my soul or core...

I then give that bytch a slap across the face hard as I dare to avoid knocking her unconscious. She then looks at me with a look of shocked amazement that I've actually done something in response to her actions.

I tell her to get out of my house right now.

She refused, cops called and had to have them escort her off the premises

VIolence in front of the kids should be avoided as much as possible.
Sometime you cant do anything about it.

That women is a pure crazy and a parasite, dont let her come back to your house ever it should be obvious now why she was with you.

Any interaction with her you need witness

 

[Chi Town]

I would of slapped the sh!t out of her too......

 

[lamath]

I would of slapped the sh!t out of her too......

Incoming restraining order or assasult and battery lawsuit.


I cant believe some guy will lack self respect enough to stay with a women like that.
Now im thinking troll

 

[Glassguy]

Rule #1 - never stick around with a chick that does stuff to get you this upset. It's pure disrespect.
Rule #2- if anyone puts their hands on my daughter there will be hell to pay.

Keep her away from you, your house and most importantly your daughter.

Do not let this cvnt back around under no circumstances.

 

[Trump]

To set the scene:

Me and Significant Other, together from 2017. I have two young children (one of each) from a previous relationship and she has one girl from a previous relationship. Mine are both 7, hers is 5.

In a nutshell my other half, who lives with me seems to have a serious problem with my children, despite the fact hers runs riot on a daily basis.

Were you expecting her to love and cherish 2 small kids that you biologically made with another woman 7 years ago? Come on bro, for a father of 2 minors, that’s a ridiculous and scary assumption.

Me, her and her child live in my house full time and my children stay over for the weekend every fortnight.

So the child she biologically made with another man is OK to live in your house, but your children have to stay every fortnight? You don’t see anything wrong with that?

What we do for sex with single mothers...

My Mrs is from Czech, and I'm from the UK. Don't know if there's a cultural difference or I'm just being weak, but when my two children step out of line, even if it's just for something minor she is all over them. She flies into am angry rage, demands that they "explain themselves" and will even physically grab hold of them to prevent them walking off. This seems to be particularly aimed at my daughter, and my seven year old daughter now blanks her and will not speak to my Mrs. Of course I get it in the neck for this, and I am to blame for their actions.....

By contrast whenever her daughter does something wrong and I confront her, her mother instantly runs to her defence, gets angry and shouts in my face. In the past her daughter has kicked doors, smashed things, hit my own children, spat at them and been disrespectful to my parents. Just today I have asked her to tidy her room 3 times as she keeps throwing her blankets on the floor, and the last time I did this I was met with shouts, screaming and being called stupid.

What did you expect? Her daughter was going to love you? Her daughter saw you as an authority figure? You are not her daddy. You are just some guy who is screwing her mom. That’s it.

I honestly don’t know how some of you men get women pregnant, and then question the actions of kids. How can you guys survive out in the real world?

The second issue is, she flat out refuses to claim maintenance from her child's dad. I by contrast pay above the odds for mine and am happy to do so. I have brought the issue up with her before, but she stormed off and walked down the road in a strop. We were out shopping at the time.

What does you being happy to do so have to do with her refusing to accept it? Two completely different issues.

I honestly feel like I have been cucked in this situation and I have been palmed off with the weight of someone else's child. I am losing respect for myself and the depression, anxiety and self loathing is setting in. I am now on pills for anxiety, again at her insistance and whenever I question anything I am being told I am "other thinking everything again"

Furthermore, my house is a mess. Constantly, and I'm physically drained from tidying and dealing with the drama from them two.

I never quite know what I'm going to walk into when I get home from work.

I get sex maybe once a week.

She wants to get married as soon as possible, so she can be "legally married" and wants a child to "cement things between us".

I am depressed as anything, and have done many hours of reading and watching YouTube videos in my spare time but none of it seems to help. I am trying to act as masculine, strong and emotionless as possible but I feel like a part of myself is dying somewhere.

Am I being to weak, emotional or caring too much?

What did you think was going to happen when you moved in with a single mother and her 5 year old child, when your children aren’t living with you? I can’t even date single mothers, let alone have them move in with me and support them.

How many times have we told men, “don’t move in together”? You have to check with a lawyer. Don’t do anything drastic or she could sue you.

 

[Depressive2019]

I know its late and this will probably get buried, but heres a brief update...

My woman has decided she cannot pay towards bills or contribute towards the household income. Instead, her wage is hers and goes towards clothes, nice food, dance lessons for her daughter, holidays etc and I have been told I must pay the bills from my wage because it is my house

 

[Robert28]

Wait, she’s back in your house after all that??? You mean you still have anything to do with her??? My God man. I’ve done some damn fool stuff before but even I have a backbone and when I’ve had enough I’ve had enough.

 

[soulforge]

Is this a Troll?

Dude she has you completely whipped.. You are a slave to the pvssy.

You have this woman screaming & shouting at you? I would have packed her shyte, and shown her the door by now.

I reckon its too far gone, for you to lay down boundaries in this relationship.

You have to assert yourself in a relationship from the very BEGINING. She either follows your lead, or you fuk her off mate.

Its easier to drop a chick 6 months in, and start again, than 2 years in, with kids involved.

Even now it's not too late.. You definitely cannot salvage this Relationship, however you can grow a set of balls, leave this greedy cvnt in the rear view mirror and go find a reasonable woman somewhere.

That all being said, if you continue to behave like a weak cuck with the next woman, the result will be exactly the same.

 

[lamath]

What......
Come on man if you let her come back to uour house, you deserve the crap she brings you.

She is using you a d you let
It happens its a your fault

 

[deaderinred]

I have zero sympathy. This is all you and your own fault. Good for her, she is obviously in charge and knows how to play the game, while you dont.

 

[marmel75]

Sit her down and tell her that her behavior towards your children is unacceptable and let her know you will not tolerate it anymore.

The issue is she already sees you as weak so this likely will not have the effect you are hoping it will.

 

[Trump]

Come on bro, anytime a man gets involved with a woman who has children, the children always always always always come first.

How do you guys get women pregnant and then think like this?

 

[sph21]

I can't believe it. You were doing great when you kicked her out of your house.

What I'm about to tell you is going to hut you a lot but it's better than what's about to come next if you maintain this relationship with her.

Your problems started from your scarcity mindset. Another problem is that you need to fix your own mindset about what a father is.

Another issue is that you don't know what love is. You still think that love is unconditional and in the end she'll see what a good man you are.

It's not your obligation to care for her needs when she doesn't care at all about respecting you as a man.

Do you know about what role you're having right now? You're being the feminine guy. You take care of any household mess that she won't do. If you take the feminine role in this relationship, then she has no other choice than to take the masculine one. She's in charge of you because you don't want to be a man in this relationship. This kind of role reversal is uncomfortable for both of you and it will lead to prolonged depressions for both of you.

Why do you keep fighting for this relationship when there's nothing worth fighting for?

She doesn't respect you. She doesn't love you too. Love comes from respect. No respect, no love.

After a certain age, women don't care about love anymore if the can't find a real man. They will settle for a beta who is willing to do whatever they want him to do. You're now in this position.

Don't listen to what she's telling you. Watch what she does to you and your daughter.

Do you still want to be in this relationship because you think that a socially successful man is a man who can have a relationship with a woman? If so, this needs to change.

Take your time to contemplate what Pook wrote about success in relationship:

Lesson Eleven

Comfortable with himself and his successful habits, he relaxed and reacquainted himself with his friends. He noticed they had lady-problems.

“Why are women female?” one opined. “Everything would be much simpler if they weren’t female and would logically make sense!”

“Indeed! They are not just female but so annoyingly female.”

And on and on they complained.

Years later, the young man found his old friends married or in serious relationships. In every single one, the girl chose him. Each and every one of them was chronically unhappy.

However, they wouldn’t admit it to themselves. They said, “What! You are still single? Oh, poor guy! You will one day progress and get a chick like us.”

“Indeed,” said another. “I just got a new girlfriend and you are still single! Hah!”

And a third said, “We all are married or have girlfriends but you, poor chap, are still single. You need to start listening to our advice…”

And together they said, “Give the woman flowers, chocolate, poetry, declarations of love, your full attention, your promises, your exclusiveness, your time, your dreams, your LIFE and adopt her desires, her plans, her manipulations, and her designs on your future.”

The young man laughed. “Shrug off my Manhood for a girl? No thanks. For…”

“Getting a girl is not the success.”

“Pook! Whatever do you mean by this?”

“Most guys still think like women. They think that by sleeping with lots of women, by having a girlfriend, or by having a wife means they are successful with women.”

“You mean that ‘beggars can’t be choosers.’ You mean for guys to PICK the girl rather than the other way around.”

“You’re closer and that is true. But women date for all sorts of reasons. They marry for all sorts of reasons. They sleep with you for all sorts of reasons. To the addition of the above, you want to find a woman that is interested in YOU.”

“I don’t understand.”

So Pook summoned forth a guy and his girlfriend. The guy, smug, says, “I got a girlfriend now! Dobedobedo!” Pook summoned a single guy into the room. The coupled guy smugly said, “Oh, poor thing! You will get a girl like me one day!”

The single guy bowed his head and looked sad. Alas. He had no chick. Boo hoo.

“Now,” said the Pook, “let us fast forward several years.”

Years later, the guy and his girlfriend got married. Why did they marry? “It seemed like the next thing to do!” Alas, the divorce swiftly came in a few years.

“The error is guys defining their success on having a woman or women. They should rather be concerned with having a woman that DOES actually like them.”

“Why do you say this, Pook? It sounds like a bit more work.”

“Yes, but if you do this then you won’t be like the following:”

“She said she loved me and we got married! Why does she want a divorce now?”

“All my friends thought ‘she was a keeper’. So why is she cheating on me with her ex?”

“She won’t return my repeated calls? What is going on?”

“I do her date ideas and she thought I was ‘boring’. What does that mean?”

Pook shook his head. “When you aim at something long term, you need to make sure the woman like you. Just because she dates you, sleeps with you, and yes, even MARRIES you does not mean she likes you.”

“So what should I do?”

“You define what the dates are at first. She will work with you if she likes you. You can ‘soften’ up later like in a couple of months. If she starts breaking dates, giving you the run around, or seems INFLEXIBLE then that should be warning signs that she doesn’t like you.”

“I see… But what if you’re so awful at DJing that NO woman likes you?”

“Then you’ll have more free time with your buddies. Success cannot be getting a girl because that means failure is being alone. No. Failure is being in an unhappy marriage or a relationship where she has no true interest in you.”

“So the focus must be on you, including her interest?”

“Right. Drop the ‘getting a girl is success’ mantra and you will never be DUMPED.”

Your investments in her past these couple of years has made you a slave for her needs. If you still don't want to change to be a real man, then you need to accept the future possibilities that you will have a very hellish relationship with her. Your choice! Man the f up or be forever miserable