Worst first meet of my life

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SpeedDemon

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I am new to this online dating thing since my divorce a few years ago, but tonight was my first trek out. It was horrible. Woman looked like her pictures, but the personality of a door. Very little to talk about. She doesn't like sports. She doesn't like to do anything but travel. Has not future plans aside from kids and marriage ultimately. I ordered two beers for us and asked for the check 15 minutes later. When I go out to eat with friends or such, I put it on a credit card, but I needed to end this thing so bad I put down twenty, said nice to meet you and jetted. She ordered a Uber home I guess.

It was as fun and entertaining as watching paint dry. How do you guys deal with this? I couldn't end it fast enough and I was out 20 bucks. Normally, I'd ask her to chip in, but I just wanted to get out of there. It was an unreal experience. I do not think we spent 35 minutes together. She had zero to say. I mean nothing. Zero. Zilch.

I kind of wish I never divorced my wife if this is what I have to look forward too.
 
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SpeedDemon

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Not too sure. Even in text I asked her what she likes to do for fun. Her response was travel and drink I guess. Shoulda known then.

Maybe because she's an accountant? Doesn't enjoy anything. Doesn't do anything for fun. How is one supposed to crack an egg like this? It seemed like she didn't want to be there, then why come?
 
Atom Smasher

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You should be able to vet them pretty well thru your initial texting. That’s why I always used to prolong that phase in order to make sure they were worth meeting. Of course that doesn’t always guarantee compatibility, but it’s an available tool to help increase the odds of a pleasant first meeting.

Asking a woman to “chip in” on a date is as tacky as a man can get. This should never even be considered. It’s a bad, bad habit to get into, even if you don’t like the girl. Forget about the concept of “fairness”. There are “unfair” burdens for both genders. Yours is that the man pays. If you like the girl and you ask her to chip in, you’ve just created a 90% chance that you’ve offended her.

The man pays, and this is a tangible show of dominance. It establishes you as the leader and is a meaningful (to her) token of your ability to gain resources and provide for those who are under your authority. Asking her to pay is a massively weak move.

What I do is later, after a few dates that have gone well, I will “muse” that it’s nice when a woman occasionally “invests” in her relationship. I did that with my woman and she now routinely buys me dinner and loves to do so.

I don’t mean to harp on the subject, but I see it coming up a lot and I think it’s very destructive to a man’s potential for success.
 
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Hey man. Don't feel bad about it. I've met my fair share of women online and there were a few duds. Like what most guys here have mentioned, if there's good online chemistry, it will usually flow over when you meet for the first time.

However, there were times when online was good but things came to a screeching halt during the meet up. It could be due to her not liking what she saw, or me not liking what I saw or for whatever reason.

I've cut a few dates short myself when i could no longer carried on the convo. As to who pays, I usually will pick up the tab. That being said, I always meet over a coffee or a drink otherwise things can start to get expensive. And the last thing you want is to be stuck behind a 2hr meal with someone who's like a door.

You'll reach a point when you know who to invest in time online after a few text exchanges. It's all about filtering and hoping for the best :)

Good luck!
 

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Online dating are like shopping for the cheap made in China items, good to use only a month max.
 
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SpeedDemon

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Dynamited said:
Hey man. Don't feel bad about it. I've met my fair share of women online and there were a few duds. Like what most guys here have mentioned, if there's good online chemistry, it will usually flow over when you meet for the first time.

However, there were times when online was good but things came to a screeching halt during the meet up. It could be due to her not liking what she saw, or me not liking what I saw or for whatever reason.

I've cut a few dates short myself when i could no longer carried on the convo. As to who pays, I usually will pick up the tab. That being said, I always meet over a coffee or a drink otherwise things can start to get expensive. And the last thing you want is to be stuck behind a 2hr meal with someone who's like a door.

You'll reach a point when you know who to invest in time online after a few text exchanges. It's all about filtering and hoping for the best :)

Good luck!
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I understand. I should had backed off when she responded on text will dull or no activities. I just assumed she was shy.
 
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jaymbrs

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My good friend only does online dating. No clue why. And all the women he meets are very identical: excessive baggage, dull personalities, on antidepressants/ADHD meds, and shallow. Not sure if that's him not filtering them out correctly or what.
 
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SpeedDemon

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jaymbrs said:
My good friend only does online dating. No clue why. And all the women he meets are very identical: excessive baggage, dull personalities, on antidepressants/ADHD meds, and shallow. Not sure if that's him not filtering them out correctly or what.
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Learning that this seems to be rule rather than the exception.

Bullbearpig said:
Start approaching women in person instead. You see what you're getting and know within five minutes if you're interested or not and its free.
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Yea, I am attending more Meetup groups and social events. I think my OLD time is just about done.
 
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Robert28

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Hell I would bet $100 she was interested in you even though she acted like she wasn’t. In my experience the ones that act interested on first dates really aren’t, and the ones that act like your date actually are. The girls that act interested make you waste 2-3 hours hanging out with them when the whole time they know they aren’t interested. I’ve even tried to end dates early and I get the “why, you aren’t having a good time with me? I thought we were getting along great!” Next day? I don’t hear **** from them. Nothing. Nada. I get so pissed because I think “son of a ***** I could have been home watching the game!”. It’s seriously turned me off on first dates anymore cause that crap has happened 3 times in a row now.
 
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Robert28

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markfromeurope said:
Keep first date around 70 - 90 minutes and always end it first.

Never spend a lot of money on the first date.

I second your thoughts about high IOI's level on the first date and overall dissinterest. It's because they are so sure of themselves and you.
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I don’t even want to be around them that long if they aren’t interested. Used to be if a girl wasn’t interested she would find a way to get out of the date early, now they make you stick around for a couple hours and waste your time.
 
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SpeedDemon

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Yea, she said she recently went to India. I asked her how was the experience? What did you do there? She responded what's with all these questions. I feel like I'm on an interview. She broke the silence a few times when I told her about my recent excursion, but she wouldn't tell or talk about herself. Very strange for a woman not to like to talk about themselves.
 
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