Bumble match and date scenerio

[Knight of Roses]

If you choose not to text her until the date its a 100% flake

I disagree,

Sometimes it's a flake, sometimes it works. Texting up until a date is also a flake. I personally feel you have more to lose by continuing to text; get the number, seal a date and if it's within 48-72 hours, text the morning of for confirmation.

It's not guaranteed but I have consistently seen better results than in my past when I use to feel that I needed to continue texting until the date.

 

[guru1000]

@StrayCat, I have a better idea. Text her about 15 minutes prior to the meet and say you're running a bit late and you'll be there 15 minutes later. Blame it on traffic or something. See how she responds. Now, if she confirms prior, then don't do this. You'll get your answer one way or another w/o having to show up with your d!ck in your hand. Obviously, if she declines or cancels, don't overreact. Just say, ok, if you want to meet up again in the future, LMK. Then the onus is on her. Always best for the woman to chase the man, not reverse.

Here's a theory: Who gives a fvck about what she thinks and to exercise such mental gymnastics over a nobody. Confirm when YOU deem fit so that YOU don't waste your (hopefully valuable) time.

 

[marmel75]

I disagree,

Sometimes it's a flake, sometimes it works. Texting up until a date is also a flake. I personally feel you have more to lose by continuing to text; get the number, seal a date and if it's within 48-72 hours, text the morning of for confirmation.

It's not guaranteed but I have consistently seen better results than in my past when I use to feel that I needed to continue texting until the date.

Nah, you just have no idea how to text properly if that's the case, which is probably 90% of the posters which is why the recommendation from so many people is to not text.

Instead of being afraid of texting they should be learning how to be good at it instead of suck at it.

 

[redskinsfan92]

@StrayCat, I have a better idea. Text her about 15 minutes prior to the meet and say you're running a bit late and you'll be there 15 minutes later. Blame it on traffic or something. See how she responds. Now, if she confirms prior, then don't do this. You'll get your answer one way or another w/o having to show up with your d!ck in your hand. Obviously, if she declines or cancels, don't overreact. Just say, ok, if you want to meet up again in the future, LMK. Then the onus is on her. Always best for the woman to chase the man, not reverse.

I agree. Do a running late, I'll be there at such and such time. Heck, just watched a Corey Wayne video today where he said the same thing.

 

[Knight of Roses]

Nah, you just have no idea how to text properly if that's the case, which is probably 90% of the posters which is why the recommendation from so many people is to not text.

Instead of being afraid of texting they should be learning how to be good at it instead of suck at it.

Most people on this site know the fundamentals of texting properly: Don't be lame, dont ask mundane questions, use ****y/funny, wait just as long to reply as she does, blah blah. Unless of course you got some magical texting powers that I'm not aware of, I don't believe that it's simply that easy.

 

[marmel75]

Most people on this site know the fundamentals of texting properly: Don't be lame, dont ask mundane questions, use ****y/funny, wait just as long to reply as she does, blah blah. Unless of course you got some magical texting powers that I'm not aware of, I don't believe that it's simply that easy.

Knowing fundamentals and being able to execute fundementals in the moment are two different things.

Basketball players know how to shoot free throws and have done it many times. Making a free throw at the end of the game with your team down 1 and needing it to tie is a whole different story.

Knowing how to do it and actually doing it are completely different things. Knowing how to not be lame and not being lame are two different things.

I'd challenge that people are too worried about following rules and not just being normal. You can go much farther by abandoning rules and going with the flow.

Also what works for me may not work for others, but again, I have a really good feel for what, when and how to text thats been honed by doing it a lot over the years and also failing a lot over the years.

That brings up a bigger point... people are too afraid of failing to actually improve...because improving will neccessarily mean losing some women at times until you have figured out what works for you...so this fear paralyzes them and instead they make up rules that you shouldn't text because you can't screw it up. What the hell type of mindset is that? Scared money dont make money.

Sounds like a failure mindset to me. "I dont want to go in the game coach because then I can't miss the game winning shot". You need to get to the point where you want to take the shot in the biggest moment and you have no doubt its going in.

 

[Knight of Roses]

Knowing fundamentals and being able to execute fundementals in the moment are two different things.

Basketball players know how to shoot free throws and have done it many times. Making a free throw at the end of the game with your team down 1 and needing it to tie is a whole different story.

Knowing how to do it and actually doing it are completely different things. Knowing how to not be lame and not being lame are two different things.

I'd challenge that people are too worried about following rules and not just being normal. You can go much farther by abandoning rules and going with the flow.

Also what works for me may not work for others, but again, I have a really good feel for what, when and how to text thats been honed by doing it a lot over the years and also failing a lot over the years.

That brings up a bigger point... people are too afraid of failing to improve...because improving will neccessarily mean losing some women at times until you have figured out what works for you...so this fear paralyzes them and instead they make up rules that you shouldn't text because you can't screw it up. What the hell type of mindset is that? Scared money dont make money.

Sounds like a failure mindset to me. "I dont want to go in the game coach because then I can't miss the game winning shot". You need to get to the point where you want to take the shot in the biggest moment and you have no doubt its going in.

I agree with most of what you're saying, but I don't know, I feel my game just works better when I text minimally and use the phone as a means to set up the date until of course things have escalated to daily conversations.

 

[marmel75]

I agree with most of what you're saying, but I don't know, I feel my game just works better when I text minimally and use the phone as a means to set up the date until of course things have escalated to daily conversations.

And that legitimately might be true for you. Again, all I'm saying is what works for me personally. What goes into what works individually is a lot of stuff based on that person and what works for one person mighr not work for another...ive found that my flake rate is near zero when I do what I describe. When I tried doing things the way you describe my flake rate was much higher...maybe 40-50%...I decided that was too high and wanted to see what I could do to reduce it...that's what I found.

Basically at the end of thw day as long a person is getting results they are happy with then they should keep doing what they are doing. My methods have arisen because I was not happy with my results and kept experimenting with my methods until I was...which is what i will always advise others to do...

 

[R.U.G.]

Here's a theory: Who gives a fvck about what she thinks and to exercise such mental gymnastics over a nobody. Confirm when YOU deem fit so that YOU don't waste your (hopefully valuable) time.

Usually, I agree. However, I still think, if she doesn't confirm with the OP, instead of wasting time showing up, send a short text and see what she comes back with. If she's going to blow him off, might as well save himself the what if's and just shoot it in the butt. If she won't wait the 15 mins, then she wasn't going to show up anyway.

 

[StrayCat]

Just an update, I did what RUG said, and she replied back pretty quickly stating she thought she texted me saying she has the flu with a high temp and doesn't want to get me sick. I texted back no issues. Feel better and let me know if you want to reschedule. She texted most definitely and absolutely. Sorry again for tonight. Doubt I will hear back from her again.

 

[backseatjuan]

I still going to reitterate. Bs story about being sick. Test her sh1t on that one. Two weeks should be enough to get better. Give her two weeks before you hit her up again.

 

[StrayCat]

I still going to reitterate. Bs story about being sick. Test her sh1t on that one. Two weeks should be enough to get better. Give her two weeks before you hit her up again.

If I told her to reach out to me when she's better, doesn't it look bad that I'm chasing her two weeks from now? I guess she could be telling me the truth, as many people at work are also down with the flu, but IDK. I also would think she'd not respond so quickly and in detail if she was just pulling my arm. I am going to focus on others for the meantime, but not sure reaching out again when I put the ball in her court. I've been watching some of the videos on Youtube that you and others have linked here and they all say put it in her court and not chase. Lowers your value to hers.

 

[backseatjuan]

Yea you did good. Women rarely rich out. In two to three weeks you reach out with whatever, how you normally operate.

 

[StrayCat]

Yea you did good. Women rarely rich out. In two to three weeks you reach out with whatever, how you normally operate.

Wouldn't that be counter-productive? After all, I told her to reach out to me when she's better and ready to set something up.

 

[backseatjuan]

How do you picture this unfolding. She has 100 or so more messages between now and then, and 50 more offers. But those guys will be messaging her all this time, because they have nothing better to do. It is not counter productive for you to message her after she gets better, 2 or 3 weeks is how long a flue lasts. She is not emotionally attached to you to care enough to reach out to you. But when you contact her she will compare you with other dudes that flooded her phone and kept her entertained all this time. It is not counter productive, you're just another guy at this point, you two had nothing together.

 

[sazc]

Wouldn't that be counter-productive? After all, I told her to reach out to me when she's better and ready to set something up.

Leave it. You told her to reach out. If she's interested, she will

 

[sazc]

How do you picture this unfolding. She has 100 or so more messages between now and then, and 50 more offers. But those guys will be messaging her all this time, because they have nothing better to do. It is not counter productive for you to message her after she gets better, 2 or 3 weeks is how long a flue lasts. She is not emotionally attached to you to care enough to reach out to you. But when you contact her she will compare you with other dudes that flooded her phone and kept her entertained all this time. It is not counter productive, you're just another guy at this point, you two had nothing together.

Unfortunately this is always going to be the case.

If being sick is a lie, there's no reason to reach out ever again. If being sick is the truth, and she is interested, she will reach out. If being sick is the truth, and 50 new suitors arrive in her inbox that cause her to lose interest, that's all about bad timing. there's a 90% chance that reaching out in a few weeks is going to seem beta to her. Yes, there's a 10% chance that she will be flattered that he came back around and respond positively, but if we take it at face value, that she is sick, I feel it's better to let her reach out when she feels better. He's demonstrated interest by asking her out, let her reciprocate, if the interest is really there.

 

[StrayCat]

How do you picture this unfolding. She has 100 or so more messages between now and then, and 50 more offers. But those guys will be messaging her all this time, because they have nothing better to do. It is not counter productive for you to message her after she gets better, 2 or 3 weeks is how long a flue lasts. She is not emotionally attached to you to care enough to reach out to you. But when you contact her she will compare you with other dudes that flooded her phone and kept her entertained all this time. It is not counter productive, you're just another guy at this point, you two had nothing together.

I think it would come off as chasing and like I have no other options.

 

[StrayCat]

Unfortunately this is always going to be the case.

If being sick is a lie, there's no reason to reach out ever again. If being sick is the truth, and she is interested, she will reach out. If being sick is the truth, and 50 new suitors arrive in her inbox that cause her to lose interest, that's all about bad timing. there's a 90% chance that reaching out in a few weeks is going to seem beta to her. Yes, there's a 10% chance that she will be flattered that he came back around and respond positively, but if we take it at face value, that she is sick, I feel it's better to let her reach out when she feels better. He's demonstrated interest by asking her out, let her reciprocate, if the interest is really there.

That was what I was thinking. I would had also thought, if it was not true, she'd either not respond or would had said thanks, but no thanks, not say she'll reach out when she's better. Or am I reading this incorrectly?

 

[backseatjuan]

Yea, I asked my female friend for some advice once, she told me take her out to movie, restaurant, buy her flowers and sh1t. Moral of the story women can't give men advice on how to fvck women. I asked that b1tch, how is that I fvcked her on first day we met without fvcking restaurant flowers and movie. She told me that was an exception. Fvck it.

Absolutely nothing wrong if you wait for her to reach out to you, and if she doesn't you contact her. Maybe she forgot with all that messaging back and force between her and beta floor mats she been chatting up while being bored.