Look, most of what you're talking about is a cop out. Kids, at least from a "I need you ever single moment" perspective, ends after about 2-3 years. From that point, it's usually regular bed times, routine, you should have most of every evening to connect as a couple. Yes, there's more and more to do during the day but the evenings should be free for the couple to do things together.
My wife always hits me with, let's setup weekly or biweekly date nights. You know what date night means to me at this point? Take me out, spend money on me, we get home, "Boy, I'm tired, I want to go to bed". So all I get used for on those nights is funds for a night out. I pay to take my roommate out for an evening on the town. How can a date night not include sex? How??!!?? How would you not think that your husband, who's taking time out of his finances and his evening, might want to have sex with his wife after a night where we are supposed to be re-connecting/connecting? And if I bring it up, it immediately devolves into a fight.
I spend most evenings by myself. She scampers upstairs with the kids to put them to bed, falls asleep and I spend the evening playing video games, working out, doing stuff for work or working around the house. I'm usually too f*cked off to sleep because I'm p*ssed off that she literally ignored me the entire evening so I usually need to do something to burn off the p*ssed off energy.
I mention this because everyone on here, including you, knows what women are like. Just like many other guys, my kids are now weaponized against me. If I Don't like what she's doing? Tough, because she control the kids. You have to be pretty screwed up to not get at least primary custody as the female. That gives you control over finances, the kids and with those two things under her control, she knows she's in the driver's seat of the relationship. Imagine knowing that you can torpedo the person you're with at any time for literally any reason. It's ludicrous to think that this type of control doesn't go to someone's head. Do you really think the queen or any other member of the royal family are great people? Hell no, they've been pampered and treated like a god from day one. That kind of control messes with anyone's mind, especially females.
Guys sacrifice for their familes, they sacrifice for their kids, they sacrifice for their wives. That is usually repaid with scorn, disdain, distance and irritation. I have no problem with my kids and my wife taking priority in many cases. However, for the relationship to continue to flourish, she has to do the same for her spouse. That usually doesn't happen because of the imbalance of power.
No deep dive and constant b*tching my a$$, that's typical female shaming tactics so we don't call out the sisterhood.