The Facebook Audit

[highSpeed]

Now you are dipping into law and legal agreements.

She cannot legally deny you your parental rights. If she does then take her to court, with full documentation.

This is separate from keeping frame.

Ive seen plenty of guys get royally screwed over when it comes to visitation. Most guys I know get every weekend if they're lucky. Many times, it's every other weekend, 4 f*cking lousy days a month. What is the freakin point of having a kid at that point?

 

[fanatic22]

Wow I wasn’t expecting that. I don’t know much about the industry but I guess some of them have standards. Makes sense I guess.

But Deeze isn’t going to grow old and saggy, he will be slamming 18-23 yr olds for life because apparently, 18-23 yr olds have no eyesight lol. He’s funny, bless him.

She said it depends on the girl, but some will refuse a guy for being unattractive, while other will significantly upcharge. I was actually at a hooker bar and I saw ugly guys getting rejected by the hottest prostitutes, while finally settling for a mediocre girl (I'd probably call those girls a 4 or a 5). Sex with one guy pays for a week of rent, so she doesn't feel the need to bang 20 ugly guys in a night even though that is possible and some girls do that (while high on a lot of drugs to get them through it).

You have to be extremely wealthy to get the gold diggers interested, and then find a way to flaunt it. And at that point, my question to @DEEZEDBRAH is why are you even doing it? You either lose half to gold diggers who are repulsed by you or you might lose half to a wife who at least cared about you at some point and gave you children (and with them, a truer sense of fulfillment). Sorry bud but the decision isn't as easy as you make it seem.

 

[highSpeed]

She has over 2000 FB friends. Last night we went back and fourth and got it down to only two she didn't want to delete who met the criteria I was after. Today she found about five more, and said she is "in process of deleting them". So we may end up back down at two but I don't think we will get to zero. So two, fine, then I will keep two of my orbiters and the problem will be solved. It's pretty simple.

That is not solved by any means. You marry her, unless she makes more money, you co-mingle your finances and you're married for at least a couple of years? You're going to pay alimony. So she already has control, even though you are balanced with orbiters.

 

[fanatic22]

She can choose her own adventure, nobody is controlling her.

Woman claims being "controlling" is exhausting.

Same woman demands the right to keep beta orbiters but screeches at him having the equivalent woman orbiters.

Who really is the controlling one here?

I don't know what you're on about. I am saying that, as a guy, it sucks to be controlling, even if the woman submits. It's a miserable mindset.

 

[highSpeed]

Again I hear you highSpeed. The system is all sorts of fvcked up. This is exactly why it is important to maintain frame and filter for the feminine qualities before commiting.

That's one of my biggest marital issues at this point, how do I hold frame when that kind of emotional and financial gun held to my head constantly?

 

[logicallefty]

That is not solved by any means. You marry her, unless she makes more money, you co-mingle your finances and you're married for at least a couple of years? You're going to pay alimony. So she already has control, even though you are balanced with orbiters.

Yes it's solved because the chance of marriage is 0% until the number gets to zero and I know it never will. I'm good with it at 2 for now cuz it means I keep two orbiters and we continue status quo. And even if it does get to zero, this isn't the only tough conversation we are gonna have to have. The next one will be finances, and I know there will be no solution for that one.

 

[sazc]

She has over 2000 FB friends. Last night we went back and fourth and got it down to only two she didn't want to delete who met the criteria I was after. Today she found about five more, and said she is "in process of deleting them". So we may end up back down at two but I don't think we will get to zero. So two, fine, then I will keep two of my orbiters and the problem will be solved. It's pretty simple.

HOLY SH1T! That's SO attention seeking!!

Does she know them all personally? Or are they mostly randoms? I'm surprised you even entertained dating a woman with 2k fb "friends"

I have about 250 and don't do randoms, ever. I don't understand adding strangers.

 

[highSpeed]

Yes it's solved because the chance of marriage is 0% until the number gets to zero and I know it never will. I'm good with it at 2 for now cuz it means I keep two orbiters and we continue status quo. And even if it does get to zero, this isn't the only tough conversation we are gonna have to have. The next one will be finances, and I know there will be no solution for that one.

Then I suppose it's highly unlikely she will stay with you. Perhaps you don't care and by the entire FB thing, that's probably a good thing. But if she wants a serious commitment and you're not interested, she's out, maybe not today or tomorrow but she's out soon. Again, perhaps that's a good thing.

 

[logicallefty]

Then I suppose it's highly unlikely she will stay with you. Perhaps you don't care and by the entire FB thing, that's probably a good thing. But if she wants a serious commitment and you're not interested, she's out, maybe not today or tomorrow but she's out soon. Again, perhaps that's a good thing.

No I don't care. I'm sure we will break up eventually. Isn't that the norm anymore? I will just enjoy the positives of our relationship for as long as I can, and keep my orbiters on the pinger once in a while for when it goes south with the GF.

 

[fanatic22]

I cannot tell you how many taken women I have fvcked because the man was afraid to be seen as "controlling".

You are channeling the feminine imperative.

Forcing her to confront her hypocrisy is not controlling.

If she is allowed this and he is not, again who is the controlling one?

Yeah, I'm sure you can't count the thousands of women with bfs that you've fvcked. I'm sure if the bf had been just a teensy bit more controlling then those women would've become perfectly faithful housewives.

Look, I have been a controlling bf before and I am telling you that it is worse than being single. If you feel the need to control the woman in a relationship, you should either a) find another woman or b) stay single. This has nothing to do with whether the bf is right or wrong or the woman is right or wrong or whether this reflects the female imperative.

 

[logicallefty]

HOLY SH1T! That's SO attention seeking!!

Does she know them all personally? Or are they mostly randoms? I'm surprised you even entertained dating a woman with 2k fb "friends"

I have about 250 and don't do randoms, ever. I don't understand adding strangers.

I didn't know she had that many until recently. I don't have a FB anymore other than for work purposes and I have never trolled her.

She says the are from all over; business contacts, old HS friends, etc.. Then there were, of course, the ones like the bar owner she blew one time and the other guy from POF she had a ONS with. She said she deleted them today.. But as of this minute we still got two left who she doesn't want to delete, and thats after the freebies I already gave her. Two is fine. I'm good with only two orbiters in my rotation.

 

[highSpeed]

She cannot break the terms of the divorce and your right to see your children.

If she does so, take her to court.

But do not confuse this with frame.

I'm not interested in 4 days a month, even 8, that's the problem and that's most likely the way it would go in divorce. I think I'd literally melt down if I saw her traipsing another guy through the house. If my kids called this person dad, I'd lose it most likely.

 

[highSpeed]

No I don't care. I'm sure we will break up eventually. Isn't that the norm anymore? I will just enjoy the positives of our relationship for as long as I can, and keep my orbiters on the pinger once in a while for when it goes south with the GF.

I suppose but honestly, even if you could f*ck all the hottest chicks in the world, wouldn't you eventually get tired of it? I mean, I'm sure it would take me quite awhile to get tired of that situation but later rather than sooner, it would get old. Give me a couple of decades though and then we can discuss what I'd do once I got tired of that.

Doesn't there have to be more to a relationship with a woman than simply banging her? I mean, I suppose if that's all you can get, take it but without some type of meaningful connection, even the best sex in the world will get old

 

[sazc]

I didn't know she had that many until recently. I don't have a FB anymore other than for work purposes and I have never trolled her.

She says the are from all over; business contacts, old HS friends, etc.. Then there were, of course, the ones like the bar owner she blew one time and the other guy from POF she had a ONS with. She said she deleted them today.. But as of this minute we still got two left who she doesn't want to delete, and thats after the freebies I already gave her. Two is fine. I'm good with only two orbiters in my rotation.

Well, there's my answer....I don't go around randomly blowing or sexing anyone either....

That's got to be unnerving, investing in a woman who has admitted to somewhat of a loose past. Agreed, ZERO reason to keep those kind of ppl around

 

[highSpeed]

Yeah, the legal system is $hit. But it is also evidence for why we must maintain frame. Women are attracted to masculinity. If she can impose her own frame on you, then she will lose attraction.

That's the problem, how do I regain frame and keep it with that type of imbalance? Suggestions are welcome, I'm slowly starting to give up.

 

[highSpeed]

Once a relationship is over, there is no real way to fix frame. It is probable she will forever see you as weak or a target, and she will attack you for trying to impose your frame. This is why Rollo says it is better to start a new relationship than to dig through old one's to rekindle.

The real question in front of you is whether she is violating the custody agreement and what are your legal options.

Unfortunately, that's simply not a good option for me. The only difference in divorce is that I'd be out of the house. I'd still be available for attack, what if I make more and she wants to drag me back into the courts? I simply don't accept 4 or 8 days a month. I literally have no interest in being an absentee or part time parent, period. I'd honestly rather not have anything to do with my kids under those circumstances. They are barely my kids at this point anyway, any less and I'd probably lose most interest.

 

[fanatic22]

How exactly is forcing her to reveal her hypocrisy controlling?

Again you channel the feminine imperative.

It is difficult and painful to unplug. We are here for you brother.

God you are thick. Find another woman if this one wants to keep orbiters around! It’s so simple!

 

[highSpeed]

So you have not divorced at all and yet she has custody of the children?

Moreover it sounds like you do not have a prenup?

No, we're still married and in the same house. She's braying quite loudly about going to counseling and appears to have already scheduled the first session. I'm firing back with picking the counseler but that may or may not be of any real value. She's a stay at home mom, I make the money, so she's the primary caregiver, which means she spends the bulk of the time with them. Still complains that I don't do enough around the house but I work 60+ a week. Sex is pretty much non-existent, twice in the last 3 months. Ready to lose my f*cking mind.

But, as I could not be any stupider than I was, no prenup. So I'm entirely exposed and only have whatever whits I've been gifted with to limp along for as long as I can.

 

[highSpeed]

That is tough Brother. How long have you been together?

The stage you are in now means anything you do to try and regain frame may be used against you in divorce proceedings.

In essence it would be a race between you regaining the frame and her attraction versus her rejecting it and filing for divorce and custody.

We've been together 6.5 years. This is my dilemma and I'm not sure what to do. I may have to accept to inevitable but I don't want to. Most of my efforts over the years have been directed at family and career. This invalidates like 3/4 of what I've been doing over the years, all because I've been too f*cking stupid to protect myself.

 

[wifehunter]

What's the point of getting married if people are already fukking? The act of marriage is already done.