Tactics

[flowtheory]

I’ve noticed this common occurrence.

You meet a woman via tinder/bumble. The texting there is back and forth. Maybe 3-15 minutes between messages back and forth.

You go on a date - great date. The messaging gets more spaced out. The time between texts is like 45mins - 1 hour

You go on a second date - great date. The messaging then gets FURTHER apart. And progressively more-so date after date. Like one woman I’m seeing now.. 3 hours between texts. Texts are warm and open ended and not some passive thing.

Note: I do only use texting as a means to set dates while being playful, and keep chatting to a minimum. But these same women who space the texts always want to keep a little chatter going.

I’ve noticed this to be a common thread between prospects until exclusivity or we grow closer. Then it’s back to the normal back and forth.

Why do women do this; is this simply playing hard to get, to obtain control? Make them seem not easy?

And I know a man’s time and attention are his biggest assets in dating, but what makes a woman’s hamster spin in her head aside from social proof of competition anxiety?

Because the 3 hours between texts with a high interest prospect actually gets me juicing haha even though I know what she’s doing pretty much.

And in this example I’m talking both her and I have good high interest in one another. Always receptive to dates, etc

 

[Trump]

Note: I do only use texting as a means to set dates while being playful, and keep chatting to a minimum. But these same women who space the texts always want to keep a little chatter going.

So what? If you don’t want to keep it going shut it down.

Remember men, YOUR terms.

I’ve noticed this to be a common thread between prospects until exclusivity or we grow closer. Then it’s back to the normal back and forth.

Why do women do this; is this simply playing hard to get, to obtain control? Make them seem not easy?

Flowtheory: (thinking) Shut up with the texting
Tinder girl: I want to see how available / important / wanted by other girls flowtheory is. The more time I see him put into me without me giving him my body or sex, and the more I know he is just waiting for my text and not out with another girl, and the more power I can exert over him later on.

but what makes a woman’s hamster spin in her head aside from social proof of competition anxiety?

Question asked.

Because the 3 hours between texts with a high interest prospect actually gets me juicing haha even though I know what she’s doing pretty much.

Question answered.

And in this example I’m talking both her and I have good high interest in one another. Always receptive to dates, etc

That’s not bad. In my opinion, always receptive to dates doesn’t mean much. Her initiating means much more.

 

[flowtheory]

Flowtheory: (thinking) Shut up with the texting
Tinder girl: I want to see how available / important / wanted by other girls flowtheory is. The more time I see him put into me without me giving him my body or sex, and the more I know he is just waiting for my text and not out with another girl, and the more power I can exert over him later on.

I don’t get this. I meant she takes three hours to respond. By her taking that long she isn’t properly gauging my availability. I usually mirror. I’m simply curious what the purpose of that extent of time she’s choosing means.

That’s not bad. In my opinion, always receptive to dates doesn’t mean much. Her initiating means much more.

I can agree. But if a hot woman is accepting dates that’s still solid interest. Because she’s going to have a lineup of potential suitors a swipe or text away.
Like @RangerMIke said.. the man should always be leading anyhow. And @BeExcellent also states higher value women don’t usually chase.

 

[Spaz]

And @BeExcellent also states higher value women don’t usually chase.

Higher as opposed then that may seem true.

Reverse situation, then same women will chase.

Therefore there is no such thing as high value women. Learn this.

 

[lamath]

Higher as opposed then that may seem true.

Reverse situation, then same women will chase.

Therefore there is no such thing as high value women. Learn this.

Its all about perspective


I kind of agree
If you see a women as high value, its like shooting yourself in the foot.

For me in general a women that can be ltr material is higher value.
However right now it is not because im not looking for ltr atm

 

[guru1000]

I Like one woman I’m seeing now.. 3 hours between texts. Texts are warm and open ended and not some passive thing.

Because the 3 hours between texts with a high interest prospect actually gets me juicing haha even though I know what she’s doing pretty much.

That’s because you are a needy fella Flowtheory.

I wouldn’t think much of a three or 24 hour response. It’s irrelevant. After 24 hours, she would no longer be in my awareness.

That’s the type of importance you should place on women, little or none.

 

[flowtheory]

All valid responses.

I’m really just curious WHY they do this? What is their desired outcome? It isn’t so much like I’m spinning myself crazy.. but I did add, yea, it makes me wonder. But I’m not a victim to her frame.
I usually just mirror her text response times.

Just curious what it means.

If they do this to gain control, it is already working. By sitting here wondering about such things, a woman already has YOUR hamster spinning.

Every time this topic comes up; this analysis of timing between texts, it the spinning hamster of the man asking the question.

When a woman perceives you as a unique commodity; something that lacks in the men she typically dates, the frame will remain yours, regardless of the timing between texts. It becomes a moot point to wonder what 2 minutes, two hours or two days might mean.

So long as you are a commodity and the results you want are delivered, there is no need to put any of this under a microscope. A man can respond to a text in 30 seconds and never look desperate. Such a man who takes an hour to respond will have the very same effect that another guy believes he has to wait 3 days to achieve.

It just wont matter. You will be operating within a frame that she is willingly and happily ready to fall into.

I am getting the results I want. Just curious why the long text response times. More out of curiosity to understand than anything

That’s because you are a needy fella Flowtheory.

I wouldn’t think much of a three or 24 hour response. It’s irrelevant. After 24 hours, she would no longer be in my awareness.

That’s the type of importance you should place on women, little or none.

Yea, I’m working on it. But this is where I’m at. Give me at least 6 months. I’m less needy than I was at the start of this year. Progress is being made.
Trying to have more awareness of what that text response time simply means, educating myself in their tactics so I can easier navigate and not have to think so much about it so it does become irrelevant.

Higher as opposed then that may seem true.

Reverse situation, then same women will chase.

Therefore there is no such thing as high value women. Learn this.

You’re saying the woman I consider ‘high value’ isn’t high value to a man of higher value than me and her. So she would chase a high value man..

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Who knows why they do it. Could be that their interest level is declining. Could be that they are playing games to try to test you and see how needy you are. Could be they think it's getting YOUR hamster wheel spinning, which you admitted that it is.

 

[Spaz]

You’re saying the woman I consider ‘high value’ isn’t high value to a man of higher value than me and her. So she would chase a high value man..

Women chase men who they consider high value.

Women's smv definition is not equal to men's definition of smv.

Women's smv is her youth and beauty ONLY.

Men's smv is base on numerous criteria such as manliness, ambition, current career, current social standing in society, looks, height, sphere of influence (power) etc.

Therefore men is required to have more value in terms smv as opposed to women.

Learn that women has no value other then her looks and youth. Any other value you place on her is an emotional response to her manipulation.

 

[Chi Town]

If they do this to gain control, it is already working. By sitting here wondering about such things, a woman already has YOUR hamster spinning.

Every time this topic comes up; this analysis of timing between texts, it the spinning hamster of the man asking the question.

When a woman perceives you as a unique commodity; something that lacks in the men she typically dates, the frame will remain yours, regardless of the timing between texts. It becomes a moot point to wonder what 2 minutes, two hours or two days might mean.

So long as you are a commodity and the results you want are delivered, there is no need to put any of this under a microscope. A man can respond to a text in 30 seconds and never look desperate. Such a man who takes an hour to respond will have the very same effect that another guy believes he has to wait 3 days to achieve.

It just wont matter. You will be operating within a frame that she is willingly and happily ready to fall into.

This guy gets it.....

Good job amante......

 

[flowtheory]

I understand the curiosity, but looking for an answer is like voluntarily taking a sh*t test you don't need to take.

Look at it this way: Let's say she waits 3 hours to text you just to see if you'll respond right away or if you'll wait 3 hours in kind to respond.... and you KNOW this.

She will reason your response in whatever way she wants to. She could think you're desperate for responding too quickly or she can think you're not scared, don't give a sh*t and that you play by your own rules if you do. She could think you're playing mirroring games by waiting 3 hours in turn and frown upon it, OR, she could think you're genuinely busy and not at all desperate.

She will see what she wants to see.

A woman who is deeply into you will pass you on this test no matter how you respond. Whether you respond in 3 minutes or 3 hours won't matter. She will pass you because she is into you.

So one will never know what’s really going on, and trying to figure it out will drive a man mad. Just have to look at how she treats you through actions in person or responding to dates.
All good is she keeps accepting date offers. Everything else is just noise?

 

[RangerMIke]

Like @RangerMIke said.. the man should always be leading anyhow. And @BeExcellent also states higher value women don’t usually chase.

I agree with one exception... High Value Women WILL CHASE... but she will only chase men that she feels are above her in SMV. However, since there is a small percentage of men that will fit this category.... well... there are a whole lot of men she will not put any time in... and she will definitely not waste any time chasing a dude that hasn't given her some indication that he is really interested... because she already has at least a half dozen dudes hitting her up all the time.

 

[flowtheory]

I agree with one exception... High Value Women WILL CHASE... but she will only chase men that she feels are above her in SMV. However, since there is a small percentage of men that will fit this category.... well... there are a whole lot of men she will not put any time in... and she will definitely not waste any time chasing a dude that hasn't given her some indication that he is really interested... because she already has at least a half dozen dudes hitting her up all the time.

So going back to a previous thread where we discussed along these lines; a woman who doesn’t chase a man, doesn’t have high interest and she views herself as higher SMV?

 

[BeExcellent]

You'll never know the why. FFS she could actually be busy! I had a business trip in Chicago yesterday. Literally had a client with me ALL DAY. No time, zero, for personal stuff. When I went to the ladies room I had to text one of my property managers in another state on some issues because I couldn't call or text him either! So I was totally covered up.

As I'm sitting in traffic leaving the hospital my phone rings, it's BF. Comments that he hasn't heard from me all day...and I tell him he's the first personal interaction I've had all day...and he legit was.

Or it could be consciously done for whatever reason.

You must be impermeable to the why as others have stated. You simply do what suits you, and if that is to ask her out then that is what you do.

High quality women are the ones who meet a man's individual criteria for an actual relationship of some sort. Nothing more, nothing less. Not every woman will meet criteria. For some men NO woman will meet criteria...and there are some of those on this thread...and that's fine.

Each man here defines his own criteria...and keeps his own counsel in the final analysis on that matter. Applying some other man's filter to your own individual needs is typically some variety of ill fitting.

We each must determine our own desires and course of action.

 

[guru1000]

So going back to a previous thread where we discussed along these lines; a woman who doesn’t chase a man, doesn’t have high interest and she views herself as higher SMV?

It's not only her SMV relative to yours as that is a perception too. It is more of can you prompt the desire in her that will make her chase you? One way not to prompt such a desire to chase is to be an "easy" man.

She will have a baseline attraction for you at first meet. The way you respond thereafter only increases or decreases that attraction level. There are methods you can employ to increase attraction (cat string theory) and other methods to decrease attraction (neediness).

All women can chase under certain circumstances, given sufficient challenge and distance.

 

[RangerMIke]

So going back to a previous thread where we discussed along these lines; a woman who doesn’t chase a man, doesn’t have high interest and she views herself as higher SMV?

She will not chase you unless she thinks she loves you... she CAN NOT love you if she does not respect you... she CAN NOT respect you if she thinks she is better than you. It's that simple...

Now the term 'chase' is ubiquitous, really all it means is that she is putting effort into getting your attention... some chicks will call you text you... some will just 'conveniently' show up to things she knows you will be attending, then put herself in your line of sight... to see what you will do about it. Many will stalk you on social media, or ask her friends about you (old school... before social media). Really what she is doing is giving you buying signals... like someone showing up at your place of business to buy something... these are the customers (chicks) you want.... but these don't happen everyday so you have to make the cold call prospecting (approaching, getting numbers, making date).

 

[BeExcellent]

Some women will not pursue. They simply will not in the early stages.

I will not, for example. I'll respond & leave no doubt that I'm interested, if in fact I am. But pursue? Nope.

The prey should never reduce the pleasure of the hunt enjoyed by the predator.

Now in an actual relationship? Yes, then I'll initiate some...but a minimum percentage of the time. Even when I love someone. I am still submissive and feminine. I let the man lead & I let the man continue to choose me. And I remain warm & encouraging and reinforce the rewards of being chosen by him.

And it makes for a good relationship to follow that paradigm. It happens organically and naturally.

 

[Chi Town]

When I first meet a women I don't expect to be chased, I don't even want to.

In the beginning, I expect her to act aloof towards me, she wants to see if I can remain confident even though she seems disinterested, it doesn't faze me in the least I just continue to pursue because I know ima get her. Confidence.

Most women I meet purposely ignore me and try to act disinterested because they "don't wanna boost my ego" as many women I have dated told me. Every good looking or high value guy has this happen to them.

Men do the same thing when they see a hot girl, they ignore her because they don't wanna boost her ego because they know she is use to guys chasing her so they try to play her off like she s not a big deal, same thing happens when your high value.

Once I fvck them the tables turn and they chase me from then on.

Women can't handle rejection so if your higher value than her she won't let her guard down until she is 100% sure your truly interested in her.

It's pretty interesting actually, when I'm around a girl who i can tell wants to look at me(check me out) but is trying her hardest to not do it, then when I look at them they jolt there head away then when I approach they give me the cold shoulder lol then her friend tells me "my friend likes you"

I fvcked 4 girls at my job all of whom acted very cold towards me in the beginning, all girls don't do it but most do and I love it, I like the challenge, and I have genuine confidence so it doesn't bother me.

2 of closest friends go through the same thing, there good looking, ****y and very socially dominant and women always try to neg them or knock them down a notch, they proceed and conquer.

Point is, If a women is not chasing you in the beginning don't think that she's not interested or your not high value, remain confident and proceed.

 

[Trump]

Some women will not pursue. They simply will not in the early stages.

I will not, for example. I'll respond & leave no doubt that I'm interested, if in fact I am. But pursue? Nope.

The prey should never reduce the pleasure of the hunt enjoyed by the predator.

Now in an actual relationship? Yes, then I'll initiate some...but a minimum percentage of the time. Even when I love someone. I am still submissive and feminine. I let the man lead & I let the man continue to choose me. And I remain warm & encouraging and reinforce the rewards of being chosen by him.

And it makes for a good relationship to follow that paradigm. It happens organically and naturally.

Good points.

The only issue I see with that is this is North America where women have the Power and the system is behind them. If the man is constantly pursuing, the woman will pocket it, pocket it, and pocket it until she can use it against him. I’ve seen it happen so many times. ‘Your honour, look at all these texts and emails and notes, this man is so so in love with me. He would give his money, life and soul for me. I need half his stuff.”

Now if you are in another country where the man has the power and system is behind him, the man can constantly pursue because the woman won’t be able to use it against him. But in a country where the woman has the Power, I think it should be 50/50.

Being submissive doesn’t mean much, she could always say she was bored or manipulated. Effort on her part, that’s where it’s at.

 

[flowtheory]

Really good responses!