Amazing

[The Duke]

Amazing how you can be with a girl for 5 months. She dotts all over you, great sex, tells you she is massively into you, buys you christmas presents, cooks for you......then dumps you a week before xmas at a flip of a coin without a hint of a warning.

Onwards and upwards i guess.

I've had this happen twice in the last 2 years. Both with girls I really liked and with equally matched SMV. There were no signs that anything was wrong until the very end. In both of the cases, neither of them went to another guy.

The first one had "attachment" issues that I didn't truly understand until I educated myself on attachment theory after our relationship. That's when things started to make sense. She'll either be single or in 3-5month relationships for the rest of her life. She exhibited that behavior before I came a long. She did have some unresolved mental baggage from previous failed relationships that hurt her.

The second one fell hard and fast for me. Usually I would have been very skeptical, but she made it seem super genuine. She definitely showed some love bombing characteristics but everything else about her was solid. I don't think the love bombing came from a place of "cluster b mental" issues, it was an abundance of love chemicals that drove most of what she felt for me and when they finally wore off, she was done. A lot of times people get caught up in their own "love" chemicals and feel things more strongly than normal. This is when they are totally into you. They constantly tell you how wonderful you are and do all sorts wonderful things. Chemicals like oxytocin, dopamine, seratonin, phenylethylamine drive a lot of what happens. Love Chemicals & What they do.

Give yourself a few weeks for your head to clear up. Things will make more sense with time.

I think the best mindset to have is to enjoy it while it lasts. Understand nothing lasts forever, especially in this day and age. There are so many factors you can't control, will never fully understand. The world we live in really isn't conducive to long term relationship success. When you think this way, you won't get jaded by what happens along the way and you'll end up enjoying more women!

Dust your ass off, get back in the saddle and ride. There's is no shortage of available women out there.

 

[Floydispink01]

She contacted me today. Said she was an idiot. Asking about my day.

 

[lamath]

She contacted me today. Said she was an idiot. Asking about my day.

Like we all predicted she floated back, but get away unless you want her as a plate.


I see signs of an unstable women

 

[sazc]

She contacted me today. Said she was an idiot. Asking about my day.

She decided you were more important than her ego.

Here's the thing..... Any woman who would make such a rash decision based solely on her butthurt ego WILL act rashley again.

It's up to u to decide what to do about it all

 

[Trump]

Amazing how you can be with a girl for 5 months. She dotts all over you, great sex, tells you she is massively into you, buys you christmas presents, cooks for you......then dumps you a week before xmas at a flip of a coin without a hint of a warning.

Without warning? Come on bro, she gave you hints all along the way but you failed to pick up on them because you were so in LOVE.

You became too available, too needy, too not spining plates, too not having abundance mentality.

Classic mistakes, everyone has done it. Live and learn.

 

[flowtheory]

She contacted me today. Said she was an idiot. Asking about my day.

Dig for the answers.

If it were me and I valued the relationship, which it sounds like you do, I would have a sit down and really communicate properly about what happened that navigated her choices toward that point of breaking.
Also communicate that you won’t put up with that type of behaviour.

Negotiating is now required. Wants and needs on the table.
5 months is somewhat early, but that’s your situation now.

 

[In2theGame]

She contacted me today. Said she was an idiot. Asking about my day.

What you should do in this situation is respond (If you do respond) hard. Always respond hard when it comes to Women, In my experience it's the only way. When my Ex girlfriend left me, It crushed me and I was too soft in my responses to her. The problem with situations like this is that us Men, once our feelings are involved, it's very difficult to stop the "Beta" from coming out. That's why they say Women are Men's biggest weakness.

Again, from my experience with a lot of Women, You can't talk to them on an equal level and some may disagree with me or even say I'm out of line but I know - what I know from first hand experience. Women cannot respect a Man who wants to "talk" it out. It's bullsh*t and what they are looking for is a Man that has a steel backbone to put them in their place which in this situation, you need to do. I'm not talking about yelling or putting her down, Im talking about telling her "You just upped and left me like i was a piece of ****. I cared about you but if you are going to act like this, Don't you contact me again until you get your fvcking act together. I wont deal with this sh*t any longer" You are the Man and you make it known.

I have done this with Many Women I dated and they give me the usually "act" initially but later told me they respected me and back on my c0ck in no time. Do what you gotta do but always respond hard and clear cut.

 

[jaymbrs]

Sounds like she left you because she got super insecure when she said she loved you and you didn’t say it back. So her resolution was to end it rather than risk you won’t ever feel the same for her.

 

[Billtx49]

Sounds like she left you because she got super insecure when she said she loved you and you didn’t say it back. So her resolution was to end it rather than risk you won’t ever feel the same for her.

Good point, when a woman voices those words she’s putting herself out there on the personal risk scale if she’s really feeling it…

 

[R.U.G.]

I'd keep her as a plate and nothing more. Use her body for sex and you both win. When you find some one better, you can then de-prioritize her or get rid of her. No reason to get rid of pvssy when you do not have any others in reserve. Sounds pretty sh!tty re-reading what I wrote, but it's the truth.

 

[flowtheory]

I'd keep her as a plate and nothing more. Use her body for sex and you both win. When you find some one better, you can then de-prioritize her or get rid of her. No reason to get rid of pvssy when you do not have any others in reserve. Sounds pretty sh!tty re-reading what I wrote, but it's the truth.

Sounds like that would turn disastrous here.

 

[R.U.G.]

Sounds like that would turn disastrous here.

It's par for the course flowcontrol. The only way the OP will learn is to change his thinking. Following above will certainly do that. Besides, it's what all men should be doing anyway until they know for sure this is the woman they want to build something with. You need this in order to give the relationship time so you can see the real woman. You'd be surprised to learn how long a woman can keep the good girl act going.

 

[flowtheory]

It's par for the course flowcontrol. The only way the OP will learn is to change his thinking. Following above will certainly do that. Besides, it's what all men should be doing anyway until they know for sure this is the woman they want to build something with. You need this in order to give the relationship time so you can see the real woman. You'd be surprised to learn how long a woman can keep the good girl act going.

Hahah still wth flowcontrol. Hilarious!
You need to be non exclusive with a women who you’re truky interested in for how long? according to the above quote.

 

[marmel75]

Actually!
I have PROOF! I forgot about this until this thread.

My girlfriend of two years. She was the same. Super sweet, trusting, great, blah blah, honest.

One night she got sloshed. I don’t drink much and was totally okay. She drunkenly said ‘I love you and have for awhile now’. And I didn’t say it back because she was drunk. When I told her that, she criiiiieeed. She lost it, she had put her shoes on and was ready to walk out the door because she thought I wasn’t in to her. I eventually caved and just said ‘I love you too’ because I did, but I did it on her terms which in was unbeknownst to me in my blue pilled days...
Anyways.

You didn’t say it back, she feels like an idiot, she may have lower self esteem, and now when she broke up with you, you haven’t even had a talk. You’re playong it cool which further solidified her self conscious thoughts!

Have a talk. Figure out wtf happened!

You dated a woman for 2 years and neither one of you said "I love you" in all that time? I find that really hard to believe but if this is the case now I see why guys have issues here...that just seems really weird

 

[R.U.G.]

Hahah still wth flowcontrol. Hilarious!
You need to be non exclusive with a women who you’re truky interested in for how long? according to the above quote.

Really depends on what person is after. If a man is just searching for strange, never. If a man is searching to build something, prob. within a few months. Certainly after the woman says it; not before. Really depends on the situation. If a man is a young DJ and just looking to hook up with as many women as possible, then that man will just hit it and quit it. If, however, he is looking for a relationship, LTR, or something else, then there are stages a man goes through. I think the earliest I said it was five months; and that was when I was 30. Though, women have said it to me as early as 3 weeks. My reply is always, I care for you too when it's that early. As, it's too early to build something in a few weeks in my opinion.

The first point is, never run into anything too quickly. The second point is to never say I love you until after she says it.

 

[flowtheory]

You dated a woman for 2 years and neither one of you said "I love you" in all that time? I find that really hard to believe but if this is the case now I see why guys have issues here...that just seems really weird

Sorry, I should have been more specific in my original response. This happened when we were 4-5 months in

 

[marmel75]

Sorry, I should have been more specific in my original response. This happened when we were 4-5 months in

Got you...OK that makes more sense then

 

[marmel75]

Really depends on what person is after. If a man is just searching for strange, never. If a man is searching to build something, prob. within a few months. Certainly after the woman says it; not before. Really depends on the situation. If a man is a young DJ and just looking to hook up with as many women as possible, then that man will just hit it and quit it. If, however, he is looking for a relationship, LTR, or something else, then there are stages a man goes through. I think the earliest I said it was five months; and that was when I was 30. Though, women have said it to me as early as 3 weeks. My reply is always, I care for you too when it's that early. As, it's too early to build something in a few weeks in my opinion.

The first point is, never run into anything too quickly. The second point is to never say I love you until after she says it.

Basically at some point the women will usually want to see that you plan on being serious with her or she will end up bouncing if she doesnt see it going that direction...usually this is around the 3-4 month time period where the initial "sex 3 times a day" period starts wearing off and then it becomes about more than that and how you fit together long term...

A lot of guys get dumped out of nowhere seemingly and never see it coming but they should have because she has given many chances by asking you things or by seeing how you react to different things to see your true intentions...if she doesn't like the answers she gets then she will assume you two dont fit together long term and will end it before things get more serious.

 

[R.U.G.]

Basically at some point the women will usually want to see that you plan on being serious with her or she will end up bouncing if she doesnt see it going that direction...usually this is around the 3-4 month time period where the initial "sex 3 times a day" period starts wearing off and then it becomes about more than that and how you fit together long term...

A lot of guys get dumped out of nowhere seemingly and never see it coming but they should have because she has given many chances by asking you things or by seeing how you react to different things to see your true intentions...if she doesn't like the answers she gets then she will assume you two dont fit together long term and will end it before things get more serious.

Perhaps. But, it really depends. As with the Federal Reserve said this week, all information and procedures are data dependent. :'p

If you're fvcking 3 - 4 times a day, you'd prob. not be fvcking with other women at that point. If, however, you're seeing each other 1 - 2 times a week, you can play it for a bit until you have to decide. Though, while a lot of men do just cower and say I wove you at that point. It may suffice, but it'll lower her attraction to him. Women like things spontaneous, not planned or forced.

 

[sazc]

Basically at some point the women will usually want to see that you plan on being serious with her or she will end up bouncing if she doesnt see it going that direction...usually this is around the 3-4 month time period where the initial "sex 3 times a day" period starts wearing off and then it becomes about more than that and how you fit together long term...

A lot of guys get dumped out of nowhere seemingly and never see it coming but they should have because she has given many chances by asking you things or by seeing how you react to different things to see your true intentions...if she doesn't like the answers she gets then she will assume you two dont fit together long term and will end it before things get more serious.

Generally true. Some of it I disagree with but the correct sentiment is there.