GF "pity" kissed her daughter's dad (her ex)

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ColonyConfused

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My gf's ex is back in town for a few weeks to see his family and daughter, my gf and him broke up about 7 months ago, they have a 2 years old daughter together. She loves me, but a couple of days ago i managed to get her to confess that she kissed her ex, I was so mad and ready to leave but she explained to me why it happened. So, he has been trying to "change" for her during the last few months of their relationship which ended 7 months ago, but she was never satisfied with it, but since they have a daughter together, she wants to stay friends with him for the daughter's sake. A few days ago he was seeing her and their daughter together and he starts crying and basically says to my gf "why didn't you give me a little more time and moved on so fast?" and she feels pity (i suspect it was more than just pity) and kisses him. But since I found out that night, and was almost going to leave her, she promised it won't happen again and blah blah. But I can't get over the fact that she did exactly what I had asked her to never do. I understand that they have a daughter and they want to be there for her, but their relationship is over, and she shouldn't be giving him rides to his friends house or buy him food because he doesn't have a job yet, he's a 27 years old bum, basically. Anyway, long story short, I had very good plans for our relationship, she still has those plans, but I am disappointed, and feel a bit betrayed. We are both studying the same thing, go to the same school and take the same courses, and have the same goals for future career. Honestly, that has been hard for me to find in a girl in the past. I wouldn't want to leave her, but I am conflicted about my feelings now, part of me can't forgive her, and another part of me says "who cares? in the grand scheme of things, this won't matter at all, just be happy with what you got, don't raise hell".
What do you think? I need your perspectives.
Thank you!
 
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Spaz

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Single childless women should be given a chance.

How is it that you being young and not a bum unable to date one ?
 
Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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Single moms are one thing, but a two year old? 2-5 years of age are the most demanding and difficult on parents, which will be your role when you are with her and the kid, whether you like it or not. I dont think you factored the child into your fairy tale plans, nor the daddy who won't go away, and good for him, honestly. He may be an afc bum, but it sounds like he is at least trying.
 
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Spaz

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Bible_Belt said:
Single moms are one thing, but a two year old? 2-5 years of age are the most demanding and difficult on parents, which will be your role when you are with her and the kid, whether you like it or not. I dont think you factored the child into your fairy tale plans, nor the daddy who won't go away, and good for him, honestly. He may be an afc bum, but it sounds like he is at least trying.
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Mommy has 2 man by the balls.
 
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HankHill

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Nah. Not a pity kiss but this also begs the question if it was just a kiss? Probably not.

As to the future I used to believe in second chances but nothing good every came of it except I wasted precious time trying to work on a relationship that was left without trust. Once the trust is gone it's never good again. You'll always be wondering about her going forward whether something's going on between them and she will hide it even better next time. No way to live your life...
 
Die Hard

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Discard her, she's a hoe.

Ask yourself this question: How could you ever respect yourself after allowing your gf to kiss another man? Furthermore, how could SHE ever respect you after you let her get away with that?

As much as it will hurt you, breaking things off is the only real option here.
 
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highSpeed

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ColonyConfused said:
My gf's ex is back in town for a few weeks to see his family and daughter, my gf and him broke up about 7 months ago, they have a 2 years old daughter together. She loves me, but a couple of days ago i managed to get her to confess that she kissed her ex, I was so mad and ready to leave but she explained to me why it happened. So, he has been trying to "change" for her during the last few months of their relationship which ended 7 months ago, but she was never satisfied with it, but since they have a daughter together, she wants to stay friends with him for the daughter's sake. A few days ago he was seeing her and their daughter together and he starts crying and basically says to my gf "why didn't you give me a little more time and moved on so fast?" and she feels pity (i suspect it was more than just pity) and kisses him. But since I found out that night, and was almost going to leave her, she promised it won't happen again and blah blah. But I can't get over the fact that she did exactly what I had asked her to never do. I understand that they have a daughter and they want to be there for her, but their relationship is over, and she shouldn't be giving him rides to his friends house or buy him food because he doesn't have a job yet, he's a 27 years old bum, basically. Anyway, long story short, I had very good plans for our relationship, she still has those plans, but I am disappointed, and feel a bit betrayed. We are both studying the same thing, go to the same school and take the same courses, and have the same goals for future career. Honestly, that has been hard for me to find in a girl in the past. I wouldn't want to leave her, but I am conflicted about my feelings now, part of me can't forgive her, and another part of me says "who cares? in the grand scheme of things, this won't matter at all, just be happy with what you got, don't raise hell".
What do you think? I need your perspectives.
Thank you!
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I get it that you don't want to hear what most are saying on here is true but I'm sure that you have already considered it. Let's reverse the roles here for a moment. How p*ssed off would she be if you kissed the mother of your child after you had broken up with her and started a new relationship with this woman you're currently with? You guessed it, she'd be mad as hell and I'm sure you wouldn't blame her. She'd probably break up with you and/or she'd go out and get even and you know what, you probably wouldn't blame her. You had it coming since you went behind her back and kissed your ex.

Now I'm going to take this one step further. Do you really know this is all that went on? I know, I know, immediate answer since you don't want to admit it, yep, she told you everything. Yea right. This is a setup. She gave you a taste of the truth as a sh*t test and to see how you'd handle it. Hell, perhaps she even wanted to break up with you and this is how she does it, by admitting she stepped out on you.

You let her get away with this and you're going to be a doormat. Look, there are watershed moments in a relationship. Break one way, things can go well, at least for awhile. Break the other way and it's going to be hell for you, no matter how long the relationship lasts. Gone will be the good times, the respect, the sex, the good behavior and in place of all that will be Mr. Hyde. She stepped out on you, probably didn't even admit the entire truth, look, it's cooked. Tough to accept the truth but it's already over. Be a man and walk out now rather than have her continue to disrespect you. It will happen again.
 
lamath

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highSpeed said:
You let her get away with this and you're going to be a doormat. Look, there are watershed moments in a relationship. Break one way, things can go well, at least for awhile. Break the other way and it's going to be hell for you, no matter how long the relationship lasts. Gone will be the good times, the respect, the sex, the good behavior and in place of all that will be Mr. Hyde. She stepped out on you, probably didn't even admit the entire truth, look, it's cooked. Tough to accept the truth but it's already over. Be a man and walk out now rather than have her continue to disrespect you. It will happen again.
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This is good advice you got to set the boundries/dynamic fast enough otherwise it will turn into bad habits and get much worst
 
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sosousage

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its over OP.

stop being so desperate that u hit on single moms that later cheat on you

she probably thinks of you as inferior just because single moms are not wanted usually. but it was not problem for you. why? because you are desperate
 
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Machine10033

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I almost made the single mom mistake bro.... it’s over... run.... be grateful this was brought to light before you were raising some other dudes fck trophy.

Single moms/ divorced moms/ soon to be divorced moms are the most manipulative botttom feeders there are. Most of the time they are in the process of actively branch swinging multiple men to ensure that them and their kids have a secure future. All you are is a means to an end. If you want puss your better off blowing your money on a high end escort!!! Your more likely to spend more, get a nasty std, get emotionally exhausted, and potentially financially destroyed by the single mom!!!!!
 
lamath

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markfromeurope said:
Mentality of single mothers itself is almost a Greek tragedy.

They cannot get the type of men they want anymore so they start to hate the guys they truly want and learn to cherish the men they profoundly despise, even the type that would die for them (poor losers). Yet they are still the women, so they will never truly love their spare husbands and concentrate on acquiring more assets to secure the future of their offspring

Never. Date. Single. Mothers.

Never. No exceptions. It's pathetic.
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But man she gives good BJ lmao

I think that in some situation its not as bad, but it got to be very specific.
Dont live together, she is financially independant and you dont help with $$ and you dont help with the kids either.

Finding a single mom that would be ok with this is prob the same as finding a unicorn
 
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