Yeah I’m skipping some chapters here sassy. Mature DJ, no they are not ugly I posted a pic of one in another thread and I’m yet to see anyone post anything better on this forum, I have also posted many different pics over my time here of women and myself, a lot more than most other than Amante, saying I bang ugly chicks is obviously a coping mechanism so I’ll overlook it. 3/20 chicks I banged this year have been fat/ugly, that’s 15% I’m ok with that, they all came soon after my break up in January.
I took some coke on Friday, work Christmas party, everyone was doing it, at least 30% of the company, maybe that’s why I’m down, and drinking every day since Thursday. Alcohol is a depressant.
Anyway, this is gonna be a long read and involve Sara and game playing/immaturity/too much caring so if you don’t want to hear simply block/ignore/backspace out of here.
Last Monday my earphones went missing after a disagreement with Sara, I’d had them at home all weekend watching football and YouTube etc while I did house work etc, Monday comes I can’t find them anywhere. I know she’s taken them, instead of outright accusing her (like I did last time) I tell her in the morning before I leave “Sara, let me know if you find my headphones” in a stern tone, then bang the door shut and go to work. I commute into central London on the tube, music is my life I feel alien without earphones on a 2hour daily round trip. Every day the same ****, I come home no earphones. Friday morning, I get ready for work and there are some earphones on the table, I plug them in to check and they are mine. I’m just so happy I have music, yes I could have bought more but I’m in tunnel vision Monday to Friday blocking everything out including shopping.
Friday evening, me and Sara have our respective Christmas parties, she wants me to arrange 5 grams of coke for her, I wasn’t planning on doing any but for that amount I talked myself into a free gram from the dealer. He delivered to Sara’s work, I come to collect, I’m late for my party which is like 50 miles away in a hotel in the middle of nowhere. I tell Sara to come down and she texts me that my gram is not there, the dealer brought the wrong amount, I tell her f*ck that one of her friends loses out not me, I arranged this, I’m late for my party give me the fvcking wrap and I’m gone. (Now I’m fully aware we are arguing over drugs and how low this all sounds, I’ve actually decided not to do cocaine any more, something I’ve never said to myself before, so wish me luck with that).
I bounce, Sara says I shouted at her in front of her work colleagues, I didn’t really, they all went inside when I started having a go at her. I was still angry she spitefully hide my headphones and hasn’t admitted to other things she stole, all comes down to trust.
Anyway, I stay at the hotel, post some vids on snapchat, she views my story up until the 18 I brought over is in the scene, then she stops watching. I bounce Saturday to my receptionist house where I stay until Sunday afternoon, she cooks me 3 meals, we drink with her friends who like me, we bang at least 6 times. During this, she’s getting clingy, wanting to kiss me all the time with her cigarette breath, wants to hug me. She’s Slovakian, the food she cooked was subpar, it taste like ****, maybe it’s because I’m a regular in the kitchen and can me from Jamaican/Irish heritage but this **** wasn’t cutting it. This is the 2nd time we’d spent with eachother and I have to see this woman daily in my office building, I’m already regretting the decision to go over so soon after the first bang (Wednesday night). Sex is good, amazing to her, she says the best ever, she’s hooked, just like the 18 yo I’m smashing.
Sara stays out on Sunday (retaliation), she actually asked me Saturday if I’m coming home? I say no tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon and she’s replies “I’m going to see a friend and prob not coming back”. She comes back Monday (last night) 10pm after working late, I text her Monday morning and it didn’t go through until about 8:45am, she starts work 9, my neighbour saw her with a crate of beers, my dealer said she picked up a further two grams.
My best friend came Saturday and she was going off at him about me, he said she was angry and kept repeating herself. Why is she and my best friend talking about me in my own home while I’m away and I only find out 2 days later.
I feel trapped, the receptionist keeps messaging me and I just want her to **** off, the 18 year old is damanding so much attention. Sara has pushed away at least 3-4 women I was seeing. I am not free. I know this is a long b1tchy rant but I needed it out there
I need to get a hold of my emotions and be a man I’m acting like a ****ing child and I hate it
