Need help dealing with long distance relationship

The Purifier

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Hey guys,

My girlfriend and I have known each other for about 9-10 months but we have been in a serious relationship for about 3 months now and things are going very well. We have very strong feelings for each other and we talk everyday. I live in the US and she lives in South America. We trust each other and she has visited me several times so far and I've visited her once. She is going to visit me and stay with me at my place for a week later this month and I am planning on visiting her in a couple months.

Things are progressing well. We are going to look for jobs soon so she can move here and live with me to see if everything goes well living together. Obviously, it is very different living with someone and just seeing them. Also, it is very difficult for her to get a job here.

I am struggling with major anxiety and OCD although the last few days I have been feeling much better.

For example, if she doesn't reply to my texts quickly and hours go by, I get really nervous and anxiety-ridden. She is very busy with work and always eventually replies but for some reason it bothers me....I think it's an insecurity issue. We had a few conversations about some habits that we don't like about each other and we have resolved it but that's normal in any relationship. We both have to work on a few things but I believe she is a great person. She always offers to divide the bills with me and sometimes will pay for me as well. She never asks me to pay for her unless I want to treat her.

We want to try and continue and hopefully she can get a job here in the future. We want to give it at least a year to see if she can get a job. In the meantime, we will keep visiting each other.

Keep in mind, I am doing better but it is a difficult situation because I can't see her when I want although we can talk by video chat but it's not the same. I think the bigger issue is that I don't have enough to do in my life and I am focusing on her too much....I'm thinking about her too much and she is very busy with her life. I really just need some tips on controlling my anxiety and OCD from people that have similar experiences or have had. Thanks
 

lamath

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Keep in mind, I am doing better but it is a difficult situation because I can't see her when I want although we can talk by video chat but it's not the same. I think the bigger issue is that I don't have enough to do in my life and I am focusing on her too much....I'm thinking about her too much and she is very busy with her life. I really just need some tips on controlling my anxiety and OCD from people that have similar experiences or have had. Thanks
LDR dont work i wish you luck

If you wanna continue
Dont do quoted part or you will be single fast
.You need to do your own things, make new friend and go out

You are needy and insecure thats the best way to end up single.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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LDR dont work i wish you luck

If you wanna continue
Dont do quoted part or you will be single fast
.You need to do your own things, make new friend and go out

You are needy and insecure thats the best way to end up single.
+1

LDR are not real life. No steady poon. She can optomize hypergamy. You fappppp to Internet porn and what little if any game you once had evaporates. Op, you're not doing it right.

End it or at the very least, spam approach other girls, and test the waters. If you had options, you wouldn't entertain nonsense. Furthermore, you can choose how to proceed thereafter. Call it, "networking" or making friends. Whatever. The point is that, you can acquire options and have a choice.

If top form SMV 18-23 ***** is waiting to swallow your proteins and give up the butt, no way you will play into the delusion of LDR.
 

Spaz

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Sorry dude, LDR's never work.

The only exception it does is when the woman has an agenda and the needy insecure man fits perfectly well into it.

It's more then likely she's gonna end up using and abusing you.
 

The Duke

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I had a LDR for 7yrs that worked very well. Some of the best times of my life. They take a lot of effort, commitment, faith, trust, and 2 confident & secure individuals to make it work.

Get your mind focused on your job/hobbies/gym/school/etc before you drive her crazy.
 

lamath

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I had a LDR for 7yrs that worked very well. Some of the best times of my life. They take a lot of effort, commitment, faith, trust, and 2 confident & secure individuals to make it work.

Get your mind focused on your job/hobbies/gym/school/etc before you drive her crazy.
7 year of ldr that takes some commitment!!!
How far was the LDR how often did you see each other?
 

The Duke

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7 year of ldr that takes some commitment!!!
How far was the LDR how often did you see each other?
500miles. Saw each other every 6-8wks. This was before cell phones, texting, video chat, social media that make it so much easier. Wrote a lot of letters and spent a lot of time on the phone late at night when long distance calling wasn't so expensive.

Some of the same efforts/actions/qualities/traits that make a long distance relationship successful also make a marriage successful!
 

The Duke

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How did it end? I don't think that is possible although I have no problem with it simply bc I'm not that needy for sex etc, I just wouldn't be exclusive with a LDR bc IME they always get bored after a year or so.
We eventually moved to the same city, lived together for 2-3yrs, married for almost 5, then divorced. If we would have put forth the same effort in the marriage as we did living apart, the divorce would have never of happened.

And she was even taller than me! 5'11 HB8. Best legs you have ever seen, very rational minded.
 
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