women with anxiety

[The Duke]

Have you ever been around someone with severe anxiety? These types tend to be overly sensitive, fear of being abandoned, worry too much, not very rational, have difficulty sleeping, digestion issues, negative thoughts, panic episodes.

I've always thought that people with severe anxiety have it because of some of the skills they lack in dealing with their issues. However the more I read and learn I see it is much deeper than that.

 

[Jitterbug]

I try not to, just like how I'd avoid people with the flu. It's contagious.

Are you stuck with one?

 

[bmp2cpm]

I've always thought that people with severe anxiety have it because of some of the skills they lack in dealing with their issues.

Whatever you do, just remember, you can't fix a mental illness.

 

[The Duke]

Well I'm not exactly stuck with one, but my ltr has me concerned. I've dated plenty of girls and was quite successful once I got it figured out. I finally reached a point in life where I was tired of it all and wanted some stability so I got myself into a committed relationship that's been going on for about a year now. The first 3months this girl had a spotless record. I was amazed of how well behaved she was and I was pretty critical. No girl before had gone 3months with perfect behavior so I was pretty pleased.

She puts me first, thinks I'm the world, tries hard, has a huge heart, sweet, loves sex, loyal, good job, she's NOT an attention *****, looks 10 years younger than she is, and she's a hottie. Her mom is hot too.

She's got it all..........and this anxiety issue too. There are some things she's going thru unrelated to me that aren't helping either.

She's one of those girls that always had the upper hand with guys. I'd say she mistreated several in her past. She had too many chumps in her life whom let her get away with her crap. She is having to unlearn her bad habits. She understands that if she wants a solid guy she can't act like she did with the chumps in her past. I see so many out there like her who have gotten away with their bs games for so long that struggle when they are ready to settle down and be with a solid guy they truly care about.

She doesn't have the upperhand in our relationship like she did in her past relationships and that is quite an adjustment for her. It also creates anxiety in her. She knows what I expect with her behavior.

I don't know if it would be best to cut ties or stay in it. She is willing to seek therapy. This girl is not a nut case by no means. She has a lot of frustration inside that has been there long before me. She still struggles with her grandparents death which was several years ago. Her son has finally reached the age where he can be independent and she misses their connection. She has the "empty nest" thing going.

Just wondering if anybody else has gone thru something similar?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well I'm not exactly stuck with one, but my ltr has me concerned. I've dated plenty of girls and was quite successful once I got it figured out. I finally reached a point in life where I was tired of it all and wanted some stability so I got myself into a committed relationship that's been going on for about a year now. The first 3months this girl had a spotless record. I was amazed of how well behaved she was and I was pretty critical. No girl before had gone 3months with perfect behavior so I was pretty pleased.

She puts me first, thinks I'm the world, tries hard, has a huge heart, sweet, loves sex, loyal, good job, she's NOT an attention *****, looks 10 years younger than she is, and she's a hottie. Her mom is hot too.

She's got it all..........and this anxiety issue too. There are some things she's going thru unrelated to me that aren't helping either.

She's one of those girls that always had the upper hand with guys. I'd say she mistreated several in her past. She had too many chumps in her life whom let her get away with her crap. She is having to unlearn her bad habits. She understands that if she wants a solid guy she can't act like she did with the chumps in her past. I see so many out there like her who have gotten away with their bs games for so long that struggle when they are ready to settle down and be with a solid guy they truly care about.

She doesn't have the upperhand in our relationship like she did in her past relationships and that is quite an adjustment for her. It also creates anxiety in her. She knows what I expect with her behavior.

I don't know if it would be best to cut ties or stay in it. She is willing to seek therapy. This girl is not a nut case by no means. She has a lot of frustration inside that has been there long before me. She still struggles with her grandparents death which was several years ago. Her son has finally reached the age where he can be independent and she misses their connection. She has the "empty nest" thing going.

Just wondering if anybody else has gone thru something similar?

So the chumps were some idiots and she was a spotless angel. It sound like she shytted on some dudes that actually gave a fvck and your giving a pass for it. It was her character that allowed her to pull that shyt.

It sounds like she has anxiety cause she did a bunch of effed up shyt in the past. Now its catching up to her.

 

[Bible_Belt]

All women have anxiety. Some just hide it better than others.

 

[Music_czar]

Have you ever been around someone with severe anxiety? These types tend to be overly sensitive, fear of being abandoned, worry too much, not very rational, have difficulty sleeping, digestion issues, negative thoughts, panic episodes.

I've always thought that people with severe anxiety have it because of some of the skills they lack in dealing with their issues. However the more I read and learn I see it is much deeper than that.

Anxiety is the basis of almost all mental disorders, it can be a pretty serious thing to deal with and women who have it a lot to the time have other mental issues too, especially depression but also bipolar, bpd, hpd, psychotic sadism, narcissistic rage disorders, and all kinds of fun things that can remain hidden for months or even years but when it shows up can really mess up a dude in a relationship with someone like that.

If a woman needs some kind of psychotherapeutic/psychiatric “help” then just make sure your seatbelt’s locked because you’re about to go on one hell of a ride. Not fun issues to have to deal with, especially with all the other stuff in our lives going on.

The worst thing about anxiety issues specifically is it can lull you into a false sense of security in your dealings with the girl, cause it makes you think it’s not a big deal, and you can handle it.. until the other mental issues a girl who has this kind of disorder really start to get ugly.

 

[Mazer]

I experience low levels of anxiety at times, had three panic attacks in the last three years. It’s no joke when it hits you. The key is not to let it run your life, it doesn’t affect my relationships at all with chicks. It doesn’t matter if your chick has anxiety, you treat her the same, with or without it. If you ever feel like your not enjoying your time with her then walk away.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Howie,
About twelve years ago I was in a stable long term relationship with a nice Girl Horsey Outdoor fitness freak at about the fifteen month mark,One Good Friday, we went down the Coast to my Weekender,to get there you must go down about ten miles of dangerous precipitous bendy Road,go over the side and you are dead as Mutton...So it was about ten at night the holiday traffic almost bumper to bumper...there were the usual suicidal young Maniacs trying to overtake,it was extremely stressful...After ten minutes of this my companion shouted out "I wanna get out" and grabbed for the steering wheel for a minute or so,it was touch and go whether she managed to have us over the side or not...eventually she calms down and we pulled off into a layby while she composed herself after a couple of pills she was much better but shaking like a leaf,we set off again...well another five minutes and so help me there was a repeat performance,this time I gave her a good elbow in the ribs and that slowed her down...a very frosty weekend ensued...that was the end of a very satisfactory relationship...this came out of the Blue so you never Know!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Have you ever been around someone with severe anxiety? These types tend to be overly sensitive, fear of being abandoned, worry too much, not very rational, have difficulty sleeping, digestion issues, negative thoughts, panic episodes.

I've always thought that people with severe anxiety have it because of some of the skills they lack in dealing with their issues. However the more I read and learn I see it is much deeper than that.

Any extreme is wackkkkk.

I would prefer a woman higher in neuroticism than I would one lower in agreeableness (feminism etc). There's nothing feminine about low in agreeableness.

Again, any extreme is not attractive.

 

[Roober]

Women tend to be more neurotic which leads to more anxiety and depression. Additionally, there is a direct correlation with with social media use, although I'm not sure if this applies to your LTR. I couldn't tell you how to treat, but that it is certainly controllable. Call me cold or callous or an assholr, but I believe anyone with a significant problem who cannot figure a way out of it is the process of natural selection. People incapable of dealing with or seeking help for anxiety or depression will select themselves out of the population.

With that said, there is a certain amount of neuroticism that you just have maneuver around with all women. Often times, a simple "what's going on?" Is incredibly helpful. Let them vent, and repeat it back to them. This is incredibly easy in theory, however, can be incredibly difficult to execute.

What concerns me more Howie is that this is your second (or third?) thread where you are questioning the alignment of values between the two of you. Is this really the right LTR for you?

 

[BeExcellent]

Howie I think you have mastered emotional fluctuation. You have learned to lead and you're nobody's fool and not a chump. So from a frame & inner game place I trust that you are good.

When a woman like this (one used to having the upper hand otherwise known as bossing the frame) runs into a real man, a man's man, it brings to the surface all the stuff that you (as a chick) have never had to deal with in yourself because you were used to rigging the game (best way I can explain it). You're used to getting your way as a hot woman and you aren't required to be your personal best.

Maybe such a woman naturally has solid character and high standards for herself but she isn't used to being led nor held to account.

All of us will conserve energy if we can. Facing inner crap in ones self is an uncomfortable place and it requires energy. So we all tend to resist it. Until we run into someone who requires MORE as a matter of course.

The fact that you hold the frame increases your value in her eyes Howie. And she sees the increase in value as relative to her value. This means she is invested and she has something to lose. And that makes a girl nervous, especially if she's not really been in that spot before.

To be frank I find myself in a similar situation. I'm more off balance in my LTR than I like...and I swear my guy likes it that way ever so slightly, lol. I don't suffer from anxiety per se...but that man occupies a bit of headspace, in case my comments around the board aren't obvious in that regard.

I would suggest 2 things which I have found helpful. One is solid and direct communication (by that I mean a willingness to discuss her "stuff" and how it relates to your "stuff" and how it shades the dynamic of the relationship), and be both unvarnished but gentle in the exchange, and Two is transparency and building of comfort.

Comfort within the relationship is critical for both of you to relax and relate to one another. It is not "beta" or weak to provide reassurance & comfort. Rather a real man provides that from a place of strength.

Sometimes she's going to be hormonal, she's going to have a high strung moment here & there (ask me how I know, lol), but if she knows she can come to you with those things and find you steady & stable it will help calm her mind. If she's spinning off in 60 different directions, give her a hug. Tell her your going to hug her and do so in a secure way, a supporting way. Bring her physically in and protect her.

Hold her until you feel her relax into your arms (Google Hugging until Relaxed). It helps I assure you.

Don't assume this is insurmountable. You might both need a few different tools in the toolbox.

Wish you all the best - BE

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Howie I think you have mastered emotional fluctuation. You have learned to lead and you're nobody's fool and not a chump. So from a frame & inner game place I trust that you are good.

When a woman like this (one used to having the upper hand otherwise known as bossing the frame) runs into a real man, a man's man, it brings to the surface all the stuff that you (as a chick) have never had to deal with in yourself because you were used to rigging the game (best way I can explain it). You're used to getting your way as a hot woman and you aren't required to be your personal best.

Maybe such a woman naturally has solid character and high standards for herself but she isn't used to being led nor held to account.

All of us will conserve energy if we can. Facing inner crap in ones self is an uncomfortable place and it requires energy. So we all tend to resist it. Until we run into someone who requires MORE as a matter of course.

The fact that you hold the frame increases your value in her eyes Howie. And she sees the increase in value as relative to her value. This means she is invested and she has something to lose. And that makes a girl nervous, especially if she's not really been in that spot before.

To be frank I find myself in a similar situation. I'm more off balance in my LTR than I like...and I swear my guy likes it that way ever so slightly, lol. I don't suffer from anxiety per se...but that man occupies a bit of headspace, in case my comments around the board aren't obvious in that regard.

I would suggest 2 things which I have found helpful. One is solid and direct communication (by that I mean a willingness to discuss her "stuff" and how it relates to your "stuff" and how it shades the dynamic of the relationship), and be both unvarnished but gentle in the exchange, and Two is transparency and building of comfort.

Comfort within the relationship is critical for both of you to relax and relate to one another. It is not "beta" or weak to provide reassurance & comfort. Rather a real man provides that from a place of strength.

Sometimes she's going to be hormonal, she's going to have a high strung moment here & there (ask me how I know, lol), but if she knows she can come to you with those things and find you steady & stable it will help calm her mind. If she's spinning off in 60 different directions, give her a hug. Tell her your going to hug her and do so in a secure way, a supporting way. Bring her physically in and protect her.

Hold her until you feel her relax into your arms (Google Hugging until Relaxed). It helps I assure you.

Don't assume this is insurmountable. You might both need a few different tools in the toolbox.

Wish you all the best - BE

BE’s lengthy way of stating that she might finally be in a relationship with a guy who has bigger balls than she does. LMAO.

-Augustus-

 

[BeExcellent]

BE’s lengthy way of stating that she might finally be in a relationship with a guy who has bigger balls than she does. LMAO.

-Augustus-

Could be. We'll see. Lol. Right now finishing up cooking him a Thanksgiving feast. Lmao.

 

[highSpeed]

Have you ever been around someone with severe anxiety? These types tend to be overly sensitive, fear of being abandoned, worry too much, not very rational, have difficulty sleeping, digestion issues, negative thoughts, panic episodes.

I've always thought that people with severe anxiety have it because of some of the skills they lack in dealing with their issues. However the more I read and learn I see it is much deeper than that.

Are there women out there that don't have severe anxiety, aka, excuse for being a giant pain in the a$$??

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Have you ever been around someone with severe anxiety? These types tend to be overly sensitive, fear of being abandoned, worry too much, not very rational, have difficulty sleeping, digestion issues, negative thoughts, panic episodes.

I've always thought that people with severe anxiety have it because of some of the skills they lack in dealing with their issues. However the more I read and learn I see it is much deeper than that.

I used to know a guy who was a psychiatrist. While talking one day, I told him that it had been my experience that more women than men were prone to issues like anxiety and depression. Almost immediately, he said: “Oh yeah, without a doubt”. But I can’t remember if he said the ratio was 2 to 1 or 3 to 1.

-Augustus-

 

[Machine10033]

It’s sad to say but it seems like 98 percent of females have some psychological issue. Wonder if it has something to do wth society completely redefining their rolls from nurturing, loving wives and mothers... to wonderwomen that needs no man... and can be as shady and promiscuous as they want.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It’s sad to say but it seems like 98 percent of females have some psychological issue. Wonder if it has something to do wth society completely redefining their rolls from nurturing, loving wives and mothers... to wonderwomen that needs no man... and can be as shady and promiscuous as they want.

Men dont have to reward it

 

[Machine10033]

Men dont have to reward it

Exactly !!! But we are the minority! Most guys end up becoming betas and falling into the trap of bending over backwards to appease females.

 

[Dante1a]

Honestly, I think most women have it to varying degrees. It's recently become very popular to talk about it incessantly. If they have issues with anxiety, I get it. Doesn't excuse acting like a jackass, however. That's where I draw the line.