She Updated Her Dating Profile

[FMCSMT]

I’ve seen this a few times. Date a girl, sleep with her, she comes over, texts, calls all the time. Things seem to be going good, having fun, and then a little intuition sets in, a few weeks or a month later, and you wonder if this girl is still online dating so you check and I’ll be got dammed, online pics are updated.

I suppose, we write it off as “no big deal” but at the end of the day, she’s still searching while preaching and I mean preaching “loyalty” and “never cheated” and a list of other things to support “she’s a good one”.

Their behavior obviously tells the truth. In the above case, her behavior has made her out to be complete liar, or “forked tongue” as a friend of mine puts it.

This stuff just depresses a guy. It’s hard to give them any credit or value.

Is there any good ones?

Thoughts on this behavior if you’ve ever encountered it?

 

[RickTheToad]

Exactly. This is what I am facing right now. I've been holding back as well, because in the past, I've over-invested and then things fell apart. Now I just give a little and see where it goes. If it fizzles out, I do not get that much butt hurt. There's just too many options for ladies these days and it's hard for them to I guess bond or always think something better is around the corner.

 

[logicallefty]

OP, yes, I've encountered it. In your case and mine, she likely thought we were good enough to fvck at the time she did, that best she had available to her that particular time. But not good enough to keep and show off to the girlfriends. So she kept on shopping and wanted to keep her pics updated so she could find her true Chad. Just as @RickTheToad just said, she was looking for something better. But OP there is no need for either of us to take it personally because we too were out fvcking other women and not dwelling on just this one, correct?

 

[RickTheToad]

OP, yes, I've encountered it. In your case and mine, she likely thought we were good enough to fvck at the time she did, that best she had available to her that particular time. But not good enough to keep and show off to the girlfriends. So she kept on shopping and wanted to keep her pics updated so she could find her true Chad. Just as @RickTheToad just said, she was looking for something better. But OP there is no need for either of us to take it personally because we too were out fvcking other women and not dwelling on just this one, correct?

I guess it comes to the point when is enough enough for all? I am sure I am not the only one in his mid 30's that is tired of start over and over every few months. Not talking about marriage, but to at least attempt to build something of substance.

 

[FMCSMT]

I’m 37 and have re entered the dating scene about 4 years ago with the help of Mystery and Rollo. I have much respect for both of them, more so Rollo.

But when this happens, I am human, and it’s a sinking feeling to see the girl you just banged and she wants a relationship blah blah and there she fricken is - online dating.

I know I shouldn’t be frustrated but it does disappoint a guy.

And what have you done? Call her out and look needy/controlling/AFC? Ignore it and bang others even if you know it will hurt her? But she asked for it? I don’t know.. Ghost her? I don’t know. Her behavior clearly sends the message “I’m still looking” does it not?

 

[The Duke]

We have no societal controls to contain women these days. We have lifted all of the sanctions that were in place at one time to keep them on the straight and narrow. Women haven't changed how they act, they have simply taken advantage of the situation.

When you allow women easy access to social media and online dating like in the example above you are giving them endless options. Women have never been very good at analyzing a situation and making a good decision. They do their decision making in groups. They consult their girlfriends, etc. on what their next move should be and that may very well lead to your demise for a number of illogical reasons. And much of this is done with an emotional and many times irrational mindset. Women can't even decide where to go eat given 3 or 4 options, how do you think she can pick the right guy when given endless options bombarding her on a daily basis.

The result is women that act on their current emotions and feel they can do better.

The only way to handle this is to play the same game she does. Women aren't guided by internal morals and values like men are. That requires rational thought processes they often fail to use.

Play the game like she does, withdraw attention when they don't behave properly, and always care less than they do about the relationship. These are the only options we have at our disposal these days.

The current mindset of we don't fix anything, just throw it away and get another one when it doesn't work needs to change. But with a generation that has grown up talking thru computers with less social interaction, I don't see relationship skills/human relations improving anytime soon.

 

[Desdinova]

Date a girl, sleep with her, she comes over, texts, calls all the time. Things seem to be going good, having fun, and then a little intuition sets in, a few weeks or a month later, and you wonder if this girl is still online dating so you check and I’ll be got dammed, online pics are updated.

....And we still get people coming onto Sosuave insisting that online dating is the best place to meet women.

Online dating is a garbage pit. The good women may try it out but don't stick around. The rest are eternally trying to replace the guy who alpha-widowed them.

 

[Ranger]

I understand lamenting over this. Let’s look at it this way. Take away OLD. Let’s say it didn’t exist. Do you think they would be different women? That they would be chatting up some Chad somewhere?

No women leaves the house thinking...”God I hope I don’t run into an interesting man today.”

Now there really is an amplified effect going on with OLD. Do you know why you should never seek praise or approval?
It’s a mental mechanism. Validation by another can be very damaging if not handled properly or looked at from the wrong frame of mind.

As little boys we sought our mother’s approval. Fact. When we got it, we felt good. (Chemicals to the brain)
Soon, after a time, mother’s approval was a near if not flat out addiction. This really sets in the mechanism. And we attach it to women as a whole. This is called Beta/feminine for intents and purposes.

A female/human also has this addictive mechanism. Unbeknownst to her, it wrecks her life because she has to feed this addiction. They are more susceptible than men to this.

The more you need praise or approval the deeper you sink. A victim can be defined as “A being that is so wrecked that they need constant validation from multiple sources.”

This is not opinion. This is science. Her being online and can’t get off is do to being validated. Just one man’s validation, yours, will never be enough.

 

[lamath]

I probably dont know what im talking about because been LTR almost all my adult life.

I think that worrying about it and saying that women have too many option available to them is the wrong mindset.
It is true when they are younger but when they get a bit older 30+ its an other story imo

Maybe a subtle **** test like her dancing with other dude at the club
Best attitude is idgaf

 

[Spaz]

How did those guys ever managed to enjoy life, meet women, have s€X back in the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's without OLD?

Poor bastards, I bet they must be moaning and b1tching more then some of you guys

 

[Ranger]

How did those guys ever managed to enjoy life, meet women, have s€X back in the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's without OLD?

Poor bastards, I bet they must be moaning and b1tching more then some of you guys

That’s no $hit. I tried it a couple of times but it’s ridiculous. Completely stacked against men and sets women up as the selector.

 

[Spaz]

That’s no $hit. I tried it a couple of times but it’s ridiculous. Completely stacked against men and sets women up as the selector.

For the sake of discussion let's all play a little hypothetical game..

You jog, you shop, you go for walks,...anytime u r out of ur house doing some daily/weekly/monthly chore, how many women you come across regularly but didn't chat them up ?

Let's say tomorrow you do different, you start smiling, nodding ur head - giving them validation and as time passes you strike up some conversation with 1 or 2 women who returns ur smile. What's ur odds after a few such encounters ? 50% - it's either a yes or no.
But if she's the one initiating a conversation, what's ur odds then ? More then 50% ?
What's ur odds then when she flirts back ?

How many percentage of men ignores women on a daily basis that they see regularly but r strangers? 90% ? 99%? 99.7%?

Could you imagine the opportunities available 2 u now ?

Side note : I just checked, there's abt 3.5 million women swiping on Tinder in a given month.

Could that mean there's roughly 80 million American women who doesn't use Tinder ?

 

[Ranger]

For the sake of discussion let's all play a little hypothetical game..

You jog, you shop, you go for walks,...anytime u r out of ur house doing some daily/weekly/monthly chore, how many women you come across regularly but didn't chat them up ?

Let's say tomorrow you do different, you start smiling, nodding ur head - giving them validation and as time passes you strike up some conversation with 1 or 2 women who returns ur smile. What's ur odds after a few such encounters ? 50% - it's either a yes or no.
But if she's the one initiating a conversation, what's ur odds then ? More then 50% ?
What's ur odds then when she flirts back ?

How many percentage of men ignores women on a daily basis that they see regularly but r strangers? 90% ? 99%? 99.7%?

Could you imagine the opportunities available 2 u now ?

Side note : I just checked, there's abt 3.5 million women swiping on Tinder in a given month.

Could that mean there's roughly 80 million American women who doesn't use Tinder ?

Those are way better odds. AND you already know how she looks.