A Strategy For Dealing With Her Exes & Orbitors

[zekko]

I don't know man. I talk to quite a few of my exes. Mostly because we share opinions on stuff and they serve as good outlets. If my gf was doing the same it would bother me but I wouldn't be able to say much since I'm doing the same. And should she have a problem with me talking to my exes, I'd tell her she needs to get over it and stop being so insecure about our relationship.

I have several exes that I hold no ill will or grudge against them, so I don't mind talking to them on a casual basis. The problem with keeping exes around as friends and spending a lot of time with them is that they often get in the way or cause problems with a new relationship (inadvertantly, of course - usually). To move on with your life, sometimes you have to let them go. If they love you, they will let you go.

Obviously if you are not interested in being in a relationship, this would not apply.

 

[Vikingking1488]

Bullys force you to put up with shyt and take from you. Either that or give very little for what your giving. What do you do about it?

Idk what?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Idk what?

You show a bully that you arent a chump thats going to be pushed around and take their shyt.

In the case as this girl. You make her a low priority plate. You do your thing and put it in her face.

 

[Vikingking1488]

You show a bully that you arent a chump thats going to be pushed around and take their shyt.

In the case as this girl. You make her a low priority plate. You do your thing and put it in her face.

That's not very nice

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's not very nice

Shes a bully. Thats how you have to do them.

 

[Desdinova]

Then I will delete all my guy friends from FB!!!

The orbiters will still be around. She's just going to hide it better.

 

[Ranger]

Be the one. The one she can come to for her deepest needs.

 

[HankHill]

Ain't no winning this one boys, except to not develop feelings but that's easier said than done, for me anyway.

Let's start a campaign "fvk c*ck carousels, hypergamy, monkey-branching, feminazi sh*t and make western women great again"

 

[Ranger]

No woman will not have exes or orbiters. That’s just how it is. There’s no cure for it. Curing a woman of being a woman is not possible.
What is possible is her driving you to the front of her mind so that they don’t matter any longer.

 

[HankHill]

No woman will not have exes or orbiters. That’s just how it is. There’s no cure for it. Curing a woman of being a woman is not possible.
What is possible is her driving you to the front of her mind so that they don’t matter any longer.

That only lasts so long...plates is the only solution but obviously not suited to many AFC betas like me haha

 

[zekko]

My experience setting boundaries is you're leaving yourself vulnerable to the absolute worst type of predator woman, which is a lot worse than compromising your principles in a relationship(which is also bad and obviously a lot of us are prone to do that or else we wouldn't bother with boundaries to begin with)

I don't want to drudge up the old boundaries/no boundaries arguments again. But I'm not going to tolerate an exclusive relationship with a woman who is spending time with other men, I don't care how she labels it.

A woman might try to hide it behind your back, but IMO that will reveal itself in time. I'm confident in my ability to know when something is up, and even if not the truth will come out eventually. That's why I always leave some part of my guard up, because I believe things can always go south.

 

[RangerMIke]

But how will you know she actually follows this if you say it up front? it's the old debate on boundaries. You have way more experience than this on me, but I don't trust overt boundaries.

I agree setting boundaries is a waste of time. If she wants to cheat on you no matter what you do, nothing will stop her. Men should not chase relationships... the chick should be the one that is trying to lock you down. She has to bring this up... and when she does then you tell her ONE TIME, what you are willing to live with. You set the conditions of the relationship and if she ever goes against your wishes... you just dump her. At a bare minimum you should insist that she leave behind completely dudes she used to fvck... because we ALL know that the only reason a dude would be hanging around is to have another crack at her crack.

Even if she follows them at the time, if she "falls out of love" later on she's a woman and won't tell you this... she'll set things up behind your back to branch swing, and because you told her what she has to hide from you, you'll be all the less in the know. Whereas if you hadn't told her and instead pretended that it makes no difference, then her beginning to talk about her exes would serve as an early warning sign.

The root of the problem is that she may nod her head to your boundary when you say it, and even believe it at the time, but she'll still be as loyal as her interest level. As long as she has a high one, you could argue she wouldn't keep in touch with her exes anyway and your declaration was unnecessary. Then when that changes, all you accomplished was giving her a blueprint of your defenses.

This is the key... when she is ready to move on, she'll just stop trying to keep you, meaning the relationship rules don't matter to her. So this just makes it easy for both of you. As soon as you notice she's violating the conditions of the agreement, then you get to be the bad guy and dump her. This way you don't have to suffer through all the BS of her getting b!tchy in an attempt to drive you off. It's best for both of you. You don't set 'boundaries' in an attempt to keep her, you set boundaries so that you have no doubt things are done, and the ONLY time you do this is when she wants a relationship and never try to enforce boundaries, don't argue with her because it's a waste of time, you just let her know where the line is so that you know when it's over.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

There's no ambiguity.

Ex, or biters, phaggots, cucks etc means that you can downgrade to booty call. Netflix and chill status.

Cucks play with fire. Any chick who has only guy friends is a *****.

 

[RangerMIke]

I did this and it still didn't matter (after 3yrs the ex emerged out of nowhere 'but nothing to worry HankHill we're just friends'). I dumped her (at that time) but as a 3yr gf there was a lot invested. So dumping still didn't make things any easy on me, in fact, messed me up good. There really is no sure way around this problem. They will always have orbiters but the women that entertain them (emotionally or physically) are the problem women...

You did the right thing, she knew what you didn't want her to do and she did it anyway. It was her way of telling you it was over. That way she gets to say you were being an unreasonable clod... trying to keep her away from her 'friends'. Chicks will always have dudes sniffing around nothing you can do about that, chicks like the attention, when they act on this that is a problem.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I agree setting boundaries is a waste of time. If she wants to cheat on you no matter what you do, nothing will stop her. Men should not chase relationships... the chick should be the one that is trying to lock you down. She has to bring this up... and when she does then you tell her ONE TIME, what you are willing to live with. You set the conditions of the relationship and if she ever goes against your wishes... you just dump her. At a bare minimum you should insist that she leave behind completely dudes she used to fvck... because we ALL know that the only reason a dude would be hanging around is to have another crack at her crack.



This is the key... when she is ready to move on, she'll just stop trying to keep you, meaning the relationship rules don't matter to her. So this just makes it easy for both of you. As soon as you notice she's violating the conditions of the agreement, then you get to be the bad guy and dump her. This way you don't have to suffer through all the BS of her getting b!tchy in an attempt to drive you off. It's best for both of you. You don't set 'boundaries' in an attempt to keep her, you set boundaries so that you have no doubt things are done, and the ONLY time you do this is when she wants a relationship and never try to enforce boundaries, don't argue with her because it's a waste of time, you just let her know where the line is so that you know when it's over.

Wtf am I reading?

Boundaries are Everything.

It be the equivalent of accepting your chuck status blaming hypergamy.

A woman crosses boundaries you next her. Lying, cheating, has only guy friends, mentions ex, she's booty call status.



I lead. She follows or next.

Top form SMV 18-23. Otherwise, do not want.

Fifty shades is nonsense but indicative of female psyche.

The prerequisite of a returned phone call is her being 1) feminine 2) submissive

Anything but is discarded after nutting.

 

[Chi Town]

All women have exes and other guys in the picture, as most guys have other women.

There's nothing you can do about it, but if you don't like it or personally can't deal with it then you tell her this........

Me: Me personally, I don't do long term relationships with women who deal with other guys, wheather it's a friend from work or a ex, with that being said, I don't think this is going to work.

The worst thing you can do is put up with something you don't like while crying about it and constantly complaining to her about it while still being with her, this is what most guys do.

Passive men try to compromise or meet her halfway and try to make it work.

Dominant men are no nonsense and don't tolerate bullsh!t. They won't stick around.

 

[Ranger]

Cucks play with fire. Any chick who has only guy friends is a *****.

I’m going to agree with DEE here. A woman that only has men friends is a s!ut.
Women will somerimes brag on it. Little do they know.

 

[AttackFormation]

I agree setting boundaries is a waste of time. If she wants to cheat on you no matter what you do, nothing will stop her. Men should not chase relationships... the chick should be the one that is trying to lock you down. She has to bring this up... and when she does then you tell her ONE TIME, what you are willing to live with. You set the conditions of the relationship and if she ever goes against your wishes... you just dump her. At a bare minimum you should insist that she leave behind completely dudes she used to fvck... because we ALL know that the only reason a dude would be hanging around is to have another crack at her crack.



This is the key... when she is ready to move on, she'll just stop trying to keep you, meaning the relationship rules don't matter to her. So this just makes it easy for both of you. As soon as you notice she's violating the conditions of the agreement, then you get to be the bad guy and dump her. This way you don't have to suffer through all the BS of her getting b!tchy in an attempt to drive you off. It's best for both of you. You don't set 'boundaries' in an attempt to keep her, you set boundaries so that you have no doubt things are done, and the ONLY time you do this is when she wants a relationship and never try to enforce boundaries, don't argue with her because it's a waste of time, you just let her know where the line is so that you know when it's over.

I was going to say I'm still on the fence, but I can see why you need to tell her once as you say. The reason why is there's risk on both sides.

- If you never tell her at all, there's the risk she may really think it's fine to keep exes and orbiters around, and you could lose an otherwise interested and relatively respectful woman because she was being submissive and following your lead.
- But if you do tell her, there's the risk that all you really accomplished was showing your hand to her and potentially made things worse for yourself, when she was going to be as respectful and loyal as her interest level anyway.

Can't win if you don't play I guess. You take a risk whatever you do or don't do. But I can see why you'd advocate for taking risk #2 and not #1. Plus, I find they usually can't hide their real selves forever. What they are really thinking and feeling will come out. Like you said, she knew what was a deal breaker and she still did it, and if you've told her once then there is no uncertainty on your part that she genuinely "didn't know". Still have reservations because of risk #2 and the fact you should be able to tell by her behavior what her interest level is anyway, so I'm not sold... but again there's risk no matter what.

In the end I guess you'd have to determine this on a case by case basis with the woman, as I recall you saying when we talked about "disgust" (which in the context you used it, I might term "defiance").

 

[Music_czar]

There is no strategy to keeping a woman faithful. If she’s a ho, she will eventually cheat on you no matter what you do/frame you keep/money you make/social status you maintain. Sloots gonna sloot, only way you can stop it is prevention is the key. If you get involved with a slvt, eventually things will sour. Problem is, vast majority of young girls these days are sloots so good luck trying to keep them staying faithful for long.

Don’t beat yourself up, if it happens just go back out there and try to find a gf that’s less of a sloot.

 

[Chi Town]

I agree setting boundaries is a waste of time..

Yeah setting boundaries is a waste of time for weak passive men. Think about it

If your girl respects you and is scared to lose you then she will play ball, of course she probably will still do her thing on the side(as men do the same) but I'm talking about how she treats you, who gives a shi!t about what she does being your back, what you don't know doesn't hurt you, outta sight outta mind.

Based on your logic, that's like saying "why have laws when people are still going to committ crimes if they think there going to get away with it" lol

Boundaries are not for her, there for you, so when she crosses those boundaries you will leave her.

If she still goes against your boundaries(I'm not talking about cheating) by doing it behind your back then she doesn't respect you, respect is when she knows you will leave her or she can possible lose you if she does this or that so she refraims from doing it because she doesn't wanna take the risk of you possible finding out or getting tired of her bad attitude or whatever the case may be.