Not looking to cheat, but ...

[sandal]

I'm getting older and have been in a relationship for a few years. Call it a mid-life crisis, I don't know. I really, REALLY miss practicing pickup. Any recommendations for doing this without blowing up what I do have? Maybe meet somebody a little younger who makes me a little happier ... without dumping my current girlfriend until I can actually weigh the options that are available? Or maybe I just want to get that magic feeling back and restore some self-confidence.

 

[zekko]

Sounds like you're saying you're not looking to cheat, but you're looking to cheat. I'm sure there are a lot of guys here who cheat, or who would cheat, although I don't believe in it. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I think that when you make a choice to either commit to a LTR, or to commit to a playboy lifestyle, you're giving something up either way. So you have to make sure that whatever you choose is what you really want. My priority is my relationship, and while sure I'd like to go bang some random sometime, that's not my priority. My relationship has been worth the sacrifice (to me). Maybe it isn't for you, you have to figure that out.

@Desdinova had a handbook for having a mistress he used to give out, if that's really what you're looking for. Maybe he still has it, or maybe it's on the board somewhere still.

 

[Serenity]

Uhm, why do you even have a girlfriend? Sounds like you're in a relationship to make yourself feel complete. My advice would be to terminate the relationship, you seem to not love her. This will spare her the misery of being with a cheater and let you live the way you wish. Cheating is weak, undeniable evidence for your lack of belief in your own ability to accomplish what you want to (pick up women).

Self-confidence doesn't come from women, it comes from the self. It's a belief in your ability to accomplish. If you do not even have a belief in your own ability to attract then you will have a hard time attracting. You would rather cheat than leave because of your lack of self-confidence, because you want a backup plan. If that isn't the act of a coward I don't know what is.

 

[AttackFormation]

Looks like a troll, but I'd say end your relationship and then do what you want. That's one thing, totally fine. Cheating and hiding it however is nothing but spineless.

 

[Spaz]

If u r not married then it's perfectly fine to sample a variety of women.

Actually this is what all men should strive towards.

And once you've have tasted all you could, experienced everything there is, you will finally be able to judge which women is most suited 4 you.

Ignore those naysayers, everyone is broken in some shape or form, it's finding those other broken pieces to fit yours that's worth all the risk.

I've got caught plenty of times cheating by my girlfriend, I'd simply state that I'm not married and I only want the best women possible for me. If I'm still with you, then you are the best.

Drama ensues but they accept it. I think women generally knows men who does this and is capable of drawing other women as being of value to them.

 

[Serenity]

@Spaz Would you be fine with your girlfriend cheating for the same reasons you do?

 

[Spaz]

@Spaz Would you be fine with your girlfriend cheating for the same reasons you do?

@Grewd

On many post we can find common grounds.

On some we do not.

This is one example.

There is no such thing as equality between the sexes. The more one believes in it the more life hits back at you.

This is my firm believe; once a man commits via marriage then he must not cheat but does his best to ensure the marriage survives.

Anything else other then marriage is not commitment.

 

[Serenity]

@Spaz

Yeah, I noticed we agree on some principles. I'm fine with disagreeing too, I'm more curious than I'm out to get you. With that said, you avoided the question and didn't answer it either directly or indirectly. Do you mind answering?

I will share my firm belief, since you shared yours. I think as perhaps most of us (regardless of sex) do that a relationship unless otherwise agreed upon is exclusive, a trial for marriage if you will. I view marriage just as a formalization of that exclusivity. A relationship is a verbal agreement, while marriage is a written agreement. So entering what they believe to be an exclusive relationship without stating you'll fvck others is dishonest. It's the dishonesty I really have an issue with, open relationships are fine.

 

[Spaz]

@Spaz

Do you mind answering?

My answer will be no I won't.

@Spaz
I will share my firm belief, since you shared yours. I think as perhaps most of us (regardless of sex) do that a relationship unless otherwise agreed upon is exclusive, a trial for marriage if you will. I view marriage just as a formalization of that exclusivity. A relationship is a verbal agreement, while marriage is a written agreement. So entering what they believe to be an exclusive relationship without stating you'll fvck others is dishonest. It's the dishonesty I really have an issue with, open relationships are fine.

I strongly suggest you print out my 1st post in this thread, show that 2 women whom you believes loves you, women that r related by blood like ur mother, sisters, cousins etc. Not female friends or girlfriends, their answer will be biased.

Simply ask them if this is what you as a man should be doing - ask them yes or no.

Then get back to me, if all of them answers NO then obviously my method is wrong and you should continue down the path you hv chosen.

But if there's a YES, then I'll leave it up 2 ur imagination on how you as a man should proceed.

Edit: I would like every naysayers to do the same, go ahead and ask ur female relatives whom you believes truly loves you.

Just don't be too shocked and start arguing with them.

 

[Serenity]

My answer will be no I won't.

Thought so. So is it fine for a man to deceive a woman, but not for a woman to deceive a man? (In your opinion)

I strongly suggest you print out my 1st post in this thread, show that 2 women whom you believes loves you, women that r related by blood like ur mother, sisters, cousins etc. Not female friends or girlfriends, their answer will be biased.

Simply ask them if this is what you as a man should be doing - ask them yes or no.

Then get back to me, if all of them answers NO then obviously my method is wrong and you should continue down the path you hv chosen.

But if there's a YES, then I'll leave it up 2 ur imagination on how you as a man should proceed.

You know, I'm totally fine with and agree with everything in your post except the cheating. People should explore a lot to figure out what they want to settle for, but you don't have to cheat to do this.

I could print it out and show it, but no woman I personally know of would say yes if it involves cheating. Most would agree on the exploration though. Generally speaking, most people hate being lied to. If any did say yes I'd lose respect for them, because they'd probably be fine with deceiving me too. I certainly wouldn't regard it as a free pass to be that which I dislike in others.

 

[Spaz]

Thought so. So is it fine for a man to deceive a woman, but not for a woman to deceive a man? (In your opinion)



You know, I'm totally fine with and agree with everything in your post except the cheating. People should explore a lot to figure out what they want to settle for, but you don't have to cheat to do this.

I could print it out and show it, but no woman I personally know of would say yes if it involves cheating. Most would agree on the exploration though. Generally speaking, most people hate being lied to. If any did say yes I'd lose respect for them, because they'd probably be fine with deceiving me too. I certainly wouldn't regard it as a free pass to be that which I dislike in others.

Ask them @Grewd

Don't assume you know what's on their mind.

They will tell the truth since they r related to you and would love you 2 succeed as a man.

Copy paste my post and simply sms/whatsup them, go ahead, ask.

Ask them if this is what's best for you as a man, don't ask for any explanation, just demand a simple YES or NO.

But be careful, it might burst ur bubble..

 

[Desdinova]

@Desdinova had a handbook for having a mistress he used to give out, if that's really what you're looking for. Maybe he still has it, or maybe it's on the board somewhere still.

It's always available for those who wish to read it. Download it here.

 

[sosousage]

Looks like a troll, but I'd say end your relationship and then do what you want. That's one thing, totally fine. Cheating and hiding it however is nothing but spineless.

you mean cheating on seriously emotionally attached to you person is wrong? why?

oh i got what you mean, you are saying its ok to cheat but not to hide it, so she can learn about it and cry, gotcha

 

[zekko]

A relationship is a verbal agreement, while marriage is a written agreement.

In this day and age, marriage is simply a contract with the government.

As for Spaz, if he is sampling other women, then that is not an exclusive relationship. If he is trying out different women to see which one is best for him, I don't see how that is any different than spinning plates.

If his main girl chooses not to explore her own options, it is for her own reasons. Some women will go along with this, some don't want to date more than one man but think that "boys will be boys". Daniel Rose of The Sex God Method promoted this kind of "I can fvck around but she can't because I'm a man" arrangement.

Like you, I couldn't respect a woman who was okay with this, but they're out there. Most women will dump a cheating man, and I'm sure that's the reason for many marriages ending.

 

[AJ84]

I knew a woman who looked the other way at her boyfriend’s cheating, but she was only with him because he had money and was helping to pay for her condo while she went back to school. She knew he was never going to marry her and as long as he provided she didn’t seem to care what he did.

So I think when the woman isn’t emotionally attached to the man they don’t care as much as long as his wallet stays open.

Those aren’t sincere relationships of course but if both parties are ok with it..

But I’m with you Zekko I don’t think most women who are emotionally attached are going to be ok with that and will feel hurt. Just like any man would if he had feelings for her.

 

[zekko]

I knew a woman who looked the other way at her boyfriend’s cheating, but she was only with him because he had money and was helping to pay for her condo while she went back to school. She knew he was never going to marry her and as long as he provided she didn’t seem to care what he did.

That's what I think, I would question how much a woman cares about you if she doesn't mind that you're out banging some other chick. Like I said, she has her own reasons for being with you, and maybe who you are banging doesn't affect them. Seems like there isn't much emotion there (which many guys would like, I guess).

You could look at it as "She loves me so much she'd rather share me than be without me", but I don't know the former seems more likely, and the latter seems like a red flag (damaged).

 

[marvinlfloresq]

I'm getting older and have been in a relationship for a few years. Call it a mid-life crisis, I don't know. I really, REALLY miss practicing pickup. Any recommendations for doing this without blowing up what I do have? Maybe meet somebody a little younger who makes me a little happier ... without dumping my current girlfriend until I can actually weigh the options that are available? Or maybe I just want to get that magic feeling back and restore some self-confidence.

I think you have outgrown your relationship.
It wont be monogamous if you entertain or do something on the side period.

 

[Spaz]

That's what I think, I would question how much a woman cares about you if she doesn't mind that you're out banging some other chick. Like I said, she has her own reasons for being with you, and maybe who you are banging doesn't affect them. Seems like there isn't much emotion there (which many guys would like, I guess).

You could look at it as "She loves me so much she'd rather share me than be without me", but I don't know the former seems more likely, and the latter seems like a red flag (damaged).

Logically from the point of view of men, then yes a woman should not accept such a man. But women think differently then men. You could simply test it to confirm what I've said is true or not. I've mentioned it in my above post. Go ahead, test it.

Now, I've been doing this since my late teens. I've had some leave me because of it, I accepted it, I'd say around 20% left me. The other 80% chose to stay but with conditions and demands. Most demanded that I not be too overt but very discrete.

There's a code of conduct that I adhere to. Dating, plate spinning etc is not much different then having a steady girlfriend, only difference is one is regular and the others are not.

But if I'm engaged as in betrothed to a woman then that's another story.

Same goes for being married. That's why there's different categories in a relationship.

All the naysayers, those of you latched 2 this moral compass, you'd should be asking, how did you happen to acquire it?

It wasn't plucked out of thin air. It was passed down 2 you. And you made it ur moral compass.

Who generally benefits most from such a moral compass ?

As a man, I always do things that profits me.
If I'm betrothed then it profits me to be loyal and charming, it's not because it the right thing to do, it's because my relationship profits the most by doing so.

 

[zekko]

Logically from the point of view of men, then yes a woman should not accept such a man. But women think differently then men. You could simply test it to confirm what I've said is true or not. I've mentioned it in my above post. Go ahead, test it.

Don't have to, I've already said some women would accept it.
But I still don't see how what you are doing is any different than spinning plates. You don't have any real commitment to these girls, by your own admission. It's not cheating if you're not exclusive.

 

[Spaz]

Don't have to, I've already said some women would accept it.
But I still don't see how what you are doing is any different than spinning plates. You don't have any real commitment to these girls, by your own admission. It's not cheating if you're not exclusive.

That's why there's terms such as engagement and marriage.

That's generally means exclusivity even in ancient times. Anything other then that is not exclusive.