Long distance gf

[Johnsmith8899]

So I’m talking to this chick who I’m dating long distance in a “committed relationship” as she claims. She wants to come see me again for a 3rd time and eventually move to me. She was out the other night(while I was also out) and was texting me non stop(sexting heavily) and said she was going to go home and smoke a joint. My gut told me that bc she’s super wet from sexting she was going to cheat... so I called her at 1am like an hour after she said she was going home. Then predictably she didn’t answer and called me back an hour later at 2am. I send that call to voicemail, next day she told me she missed my call bc she was “outside smoking”. She wants to use my flight miles to come see me in October but I’m thinking she’s taking side **** and not worth my time. Didn’t want to appear insecure by confronting her about it.. she ALWAYS has her phone on her and all of a sudden at 1am she smokes a joint solo outside. Not sure if she’s testing me , or whatever. She’s all lovey doves with me and can’t wait to see me, but at this point I think I might ghost her bc I think it would be a beta move to continue on..thoughts ?

 

[marmel75]

Why would you even consider this? Are you really that desperate?

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Why would you even consider this? Are you really that desperate?

Girl is basically in “love” as she claims and ****... but what do u think bro..

 

[Johnsmith8899]

Girl is basically in “love” as she claims and ****... but what do u think bro..

She’s the one traveling thousands of miles to chase me.. but I’m just weighing my options

 

[Glassguy]

Long distance and a smoker. No thanks.

 

[marmel75]

She’s the one traveling thousands of miles to chase me.. but I’m just weighing my options

No...she is not in love with you. She is in love with the idea of having someone in a foreign country far away that she can brag to her friends about visiting. She is in love with the fantasy notion of how this will all play out in her head.

If she were to move there the fantasy notion would be gone and you would become part of her real world. Right now you are part of her storybook world of dragons and knights in shining armor in far away lands. Once that storybook world becomes reality it quickly becomes less appealing and things typically end within a few months.

Is there a chance this might not be the case and she really, really likes you and would want to be your girlfriend and move there with you? Sure. Percentage wise I'd say somewhere around 3%. In short, she isnt in love with you per se, just the notion of how you exist in her fantasy world right now.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No...she is not in love with you. She is in love with the idea of having someone in a foreign country far away that she can brag to her friends about visiting. She is in love with the fantasy notion of how this will all play out in her head.

If she were to move there the fantasy notion would be gone and you would become part of her real world. Right now you are part of her storybook world of dragons and knights in shining armor in far away lands. Once that storybook world becomes reality it quickly becomes less appealing and things typically end within a few months.

Is there a chance this might not be the case and she really, really likes you and would want to be your girlfriend and move there with you? Sure. Percentage wise I'd say somewhere around 3%. In short, she isnt in love with you per se, just the notion of how you exist in her fantasy world right now.

So play on their fantasies?

 

[Soflobro#3]

So play on their fantasies?

Play on her fantasies for what benefit to him? It's a waste of emotional investment and time.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Play on her fantasies for what benefit to him? It's a waste of emotional investment and time.

Well no. He should have a life and women. A ldr shouldnt be our focus. Shes just a side thing he feeds her fantasy of adventure and hot sex. Give hrr something to talk about.

 

[marmel75]

So play on their fantasies?

The main point is that if she moves there the fantasy she has will be over.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The main point is that if she moves there the fantasy she has will be over.

You nailed that point.

 

[sazc]

Wow, it amazes me that you can get a woman wet and, instead of busting out her vibrator to satisfy herself, you think she's going to find rando d1ck

 

[Soflobro#3]

Wow, it amazes me that you can get a woman wet and, instead of busting out her vibrator to satisfy herself, you think she's going to find rando d1ck

Tbh if you're making her wet over the phone that means she's probably not out hey d1ck or dating. Especially if she talks to you every day and is into you and emotionally attached.

Some women don't really date a lot and don't sleep around. They'll go through chosen dry spells and be a serial monogamist. Pretty sure my ex Chinese was like this and I'm sure my last ex isnt seeing anyone, I know her well and she'll just choose to be alone for years, I think this is not normal.

 

[Johnsmith8899]

@marmel75 your so spot on with this stuff.

So she ended up coming to Florida for 4-5 days told me how much she’s into me yada ya. So I actually woke up during one of the nights and was like **** it I’ll check her phone to see if you all are right. Even with her high level of interest and intent to move down she still was hittin up dudes. She even hooked up with a guy on my birthday weeekend. After finding this all out I told her about it and said that she will be needing to pack her things and this is over. I’m at work, she’s at my house. She pleaded, begged and cried to keep me but still didn’t admit to her faults - even with clear evidence. She is begging me to go to Canada and meet her family and swears up and down I’m the only one.

What should I do here ? Is it ok she’s sleeping with others while I’m not around in a DJ eyes ? I don’t believe what I’m doing is insecure and it’s more so justified (thoughts?) how should I react ?

should I drop her off at the airport with the peace sign?

Very difficult situation , heart wrenching. but I saw it coming.

 

[marmel75]

@marmel75 your so spot on with this stuff.

So she ended up coming to Florida for 4-5 days told me how much she’s into me yada ya. So I actually woke up during one of the nights and was like **** it I’ll check her phone to see if you all are right. Even with her high level of interest and intent to move down she still was hittin up dudes. She even hooked up with a guy on my birthday weeekend. After finding this all out I told her about it and said that she will be needing to pack her things and this is over. I’m at work, she’s at my house. She pleaded, begged and cried to keep me but still didn’t admit to her faults - even with clear evidence. She is begging me to go to Canada and meet her family and swears up and down I’m the only one.

What should I do here ? Is it ok she’s sleeping with others while I’m not around in a DJ eyes ? I don’t believe what I’m doing is insecure and it’s more so justified (thoughts?) how should I react ?

should I drop her off at the airport with the peace sign?

Very difficult situation , heart wrenching. but I saw it coming.

If you arent there to take care of her physically someone else will be. Its nobody's "fault" thats just life. Do what you want. This stuff is always going to happen when there is that much distance between you. I would just keep her around for some hot out of town pvssy that comes to visit every once in a while ans just spend all weekend fvcking but that's just me.

 

[Chi Town]

Keep her around for some out of town *****, meantime, find a gf that lives in your area

 

[Johnsmith8899]

@marmel75 ya what’s ****ed up about it is that she complains if she text me one day then I don’t respond or the fact that I told her it’s ok we have an open relationship if we both agree to it. She was so against it. So basically she wants to keeep me committed while she ****s around. Very ****ed up

 

[soulforge]

Some real old threads being rehashed at the moment

 

[marmel75]

@marmel75 ya what’s ****ed up about it is that she complains if she text me one day then I don’t respond or the fact that I told her it’s ok we have an open relationship if we both agree to it. She was so against it. So basically she wants to keeep me committed while she ****s around. Very ****ed up

Just tell her thats completely unrealistic and you are not agreeing to it. Under no circumstances ahould you agree to that.

 

[AttackFormation]

Wow, it amazes me that you can get a woman wet and, instead of busting out her vibrator to satisfy herself, you think she's going to find rando d1ck

^ advice from female

>>>

So she ended up coming to Florida for 4-5 days told me how much she’s into me yada ya. So I actually woke up during one of the nights and was like **** it I’ll check her phone to see if you all are right. Even with her high level of interest and intent to move down she still was hittin up dudes. She even hooked up with a guy on my birthday weeekend.

lol. No further comment.