The REAL Reason For Waiting Four Days To Call

[Survivor]

The following tip is nothing new or groundbreaking. However, there are some "DJ" basics that I think need to be reiterated.

Recovering "AFC"s should never call a girl in less than four days. Period. Old School. Set In Stone. No Exceptions.....not yet anyway.

Anti-Dump made this rule an uncomprimising part of his "Don Juan Pledge of Honor". And to this day, it provides necessary shock therapy for recovering "AFC"s. However, AD's advice is not without its shortcomings. The rule to wait four days before calling a woman remains a good rule, however that doesn't change my opinion that AD's reasoning behind the rule is severely flawed.

(By calling the next day) You are telling the woman you have no other girls in your life. That you are a lonely guy and that you have no LIFE! She must wonder if she will be the one you ask out next week. (She must think that) YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT AND COMPARE HER TO OTHER WOMEN and make a decision. That's what she must think.

The problem with AD's reasoning is that it focuses exactly on what a man should NOT be focusing on...WHAT THE WOMAN THINKS! This flawed reasoning teaches newcomers to remain reactionary to the whims of women that they are infactuated with, unknowingly reinforcing the same pathetic behavior that AD claimed to be so strongly against. A vicious cycle indeed. AD was spot on with his rule to wait four days to call. But through the above reasoning, AD also contradicted himself big time. Perhaps it was just motivation to get us to follow his advice religiously and/or join his fan club. In any case, the contradiction remains.

A better explanation for why newbies should wait four days to call is given by, ironically, a female poster. She was one of the most respected gals to have ever posted here, and is my personal all-time favorite female "DJ". Rebel Leader states:

 

[Survivor]

Rebel Leader, from "The Inner Struggle of the DJ Student"

For a beginning student, neither behavior nor attitude is present, so one is faced with a chicken-and-egg dilemma. Does one start by adapting behavior, or by cultivating attitude?

I've seen this often when tutoring.

For a student who DOES have some initial familiarity with the concepts I'm presenting, I can guide him through the intuitive leap that takes him from his current knowledge to the deeper knowledge he wants to learn. That kind of guidance doesn't take long, and it's like watching a lightbulb turn on. The student does most of the work with the tools he already has. I just help him arrange the material a bit differently. Relating to the DJ behavior/attitude dichotomy, this is like already having a solid basis in attitude, and taking an intuitive leap to adjust behavior appropriately.

But for the student who has NO clue where he is or where he is going, but only knows that he needs to learn something because he is confused and lost, a different approach is needed. Relating to the DJ behavior/attitude dichotomy, the student does not have the attitude, and so cannot integrate the behavior.

Sometimes I have to help him dig back in his experiences until he finds one that he can point to and say, "Yes, there I understood what was going on." Then we have a basis to go forward from. These kinds of personal experiences can almost always be found if we have enough patience, but for strangers posting on boards it's very hard to do.

Sometimes I use the approach that one does with a child who is learning a new skill for the very first time. I show them first how I do the task. Actually this would be the most effective way to pass along DJ ideas also, but we only have the poor substitute of words, and maybe some movies to emulate. But it is a start to cultivating the elusive thing we are aiming for -- transmitting knowledge.

The next step is to take the child's hands in mine and move them through the motions they must make to do the task. This is only a behavioral approach -- I help his hands "behave" the way they are supposed to. This is like telling a student to wait a week before calling a phone number. It's only a behavior, but it's something that the student can *do*, it shows concrete progress. It helps establish a good habit, even if the theory isn't understood.

At the same time I move his hands for the child, I also describe what the purpose of the movement is. "When you brush your teeth, do ten little circles on each tooth with your brush. That brushes the food away from your gums and cleans the scum off your teeth to keep your mouth healthy." He usually doesn't believe it at first and he think I'm just talking to myself, but with enough repetition, he can parrot back to me what the theory is. Then he starts asking why this and why that. That is when he really starts picking up the theory that brushing his teeth helps them stay healthy. Now it is more than a behavior, a mere motion, it is beginning to get structure as an attitude, a way of being healthy in this case. The child starts to believe that brushing teeth is an essential part of starting the day right.

For the DJ student who starts out clueless, he is told to wait a week before calling, to make the decisions for the date, and to go for the kiss at the end. So he goes through the motions his teachers tell him -- the teachers are moving his hands. No attitude has been established yet, only actions are evident. In fact, the student may not even believe that any attitude change is necessary -- after all, if he just "behaves" right, that is, goes through the motions, then that's all he has to worry about.

Yeah, his teachers keep yammering in his ear about "take charge, you don't NEED women, CONFIDENCE" but it goes in one ear and out the other.

But a strange thing happens. One time while he is waiting for the prescribed week before calling, he finds other things to do with his life besides count down the minutes, because it just seemed like such a useless waste of time to sit around waiting. He uses that time to do something else, and when the right time comes, he discovers he hasn't been thinking about the girl for days. What a liberating feeling!

Then he makes the connection with what his teachers have been yammering all along -- "you don't NEED women in order to have a life" -- and he feels a surge of confidence that he sends through the phone line. Voila. A behavior-come-attitude. The behavior of waiting created a void which needed to be filled by other activity --;other activity took his mind away from obsessing --; lack of obsession created emotional distance necessary for rationality --; rationality is the attitude he needed for success.

Teachers, your students need your help to move them through the right behaviors until those behaviors create voids which need to be filled with the correct attitude. Meanwhile, keep yammering at them about CONFIDENCE and taking charge. You might think it's going in one ear and out the other, and it is, but when the voids become available, your words will easily slip into place, and new attitude will grow.

And then your students will tell you all about this new discovery they made about self-confidence, and how it's all in the mindset. How it all clicks together naturally once you have the right attitude. They'll wonder why the teachers didn't stress that in the first place, because behavior naturally springs from attitude. And you can just smile and say, "Congratulations, Grasshopper. Glad to have you with us."

 

[affirmed]

A DJ doesn't care what a woman thinks of him in so much as he's going to do what he's going to do. However a DJ is very likely to care what a woman thinks in one regard seeing as how in order to be attracted to him she's going to have to think in a certain way. That way is created by doing things that are attractive. Like not calling all the time.

If she doesn't like him after waiting he doesn't care. However, chances are it'll work in his favour, so the smart DJ does it.

 

[Survivor]

And there it is, gentlemen. The REAL reason for waiting four days to call is not to influence the woman's mind, but rather to control your own mind.

Eventually, in time, you'll become like Vassago:

When women meet me, they can tell by talking to me that Im not desperate and that I do well with women. If I get a girls #, its because I like them and I want to see them again. They know it and I know it. I dont have to wait to call because I have already proven to them that Im not desperate by the way I act when we meet. Think about it...Have you ever met a guy and just known that he must pull a ton of girls? Its all about the presence you set. When I call the next day, she doesnt say to herself, "This is a desperate man", she says to herself, "This is a man of action. He has no time for bull**** games because he knows what he wants and goes for it." This also discourages them from playing games with you, and that's always nice!

This is a field tested technique but the only reason it works is because deep down inside Im not desperate and Im not needy, so I dont have to fake it. Im not the guy who PRETENDS not to be desperate, I AM the guy who ISNT desperate. Big difference.

Exactly. Follow the rules until you grow to the point where you don't have to follow them anymore.
Don't try popping wheelies and 360s if you're a newbie just learning how ride a bike. In the meantime, keep the training wheels on and wait four days before calling.

 

[Pook]

I'm glad someone is bringing back Anti-Dump's advice.

But I think Anti-Dump would disagree strongly with you saying that he FOCUSED on what the women think. He doesn't do that, I do that and its madness (and there is nothing there! Her imagination is her reality!).

Anti-Dump's focus, it seemed, wasn't to influence her mind or even your mind. It as a WEEDING OUT PROCESS. It was a filter to wipe out the NON-INTERESTED chicks. (I have seen players turn into total Nice Guys when it comes time for an LTR.).

Some people here have so confused success and sex as to think the two are the same. Anyone can really get sex from a chick. It just requires consistancy and some boldness (along with retuning yourself towards the women). But there seems to be NO focus on this forum, ever since Anti-Dump left, of getting the RELATIONSHIP you want (getting her ATTRACTED, yes. getting her to give herself to you, yes. But focusing on the relationship you want rather than the girl herself? It's unheard of here). Some guys just pick a girl and let what happens, happens. Then they wonder why they get dumped in time! Sure you can act all 'Don Juan' and you think, "Look! She is trying to keep me! Haha, I am so special!" But you STILL haven't chosen the relationship.

I've met guys who can get chicks all the time. But they cannot BUY the relationship. No, she chooses the relationship instead of him. He then becomes some @ss husband who is a satellite of his wife's wishes. I see it again and again and again.

Gentlemen, it is TIME we reverse this. We know that marriage is the woman's turf. We know that weddings and all is her little day to be princess. From our Nice Guy days, we swore we would CHOOSE our girl (rather then have her choose us). Let us go all the way. Let us choose the RELATIONSHIP along with the chick. It's harder and takes longer, to be sure, but in this day of 'liberated' financially independent women, IT IS TIME FOR MEN TO BE PICKY in both the girls and the relationships we choose to enter.

 

[jakethasnake]

This is a superb post. I'm just putting a post in here so I can mark it for viewing later on. I'll keep close tabs on this.

 

[Clint Eastwood]

I agree with Pook's idea that we need to be a lot more choosy. Just look at how choosy even some fat, nasty women can be. How do they get away with it? Because a lot of chumps will gladly settle for some occasional mediocre sex and an end to their lonliness for someone who really isn't up to their standards. Yet, the women in question always think they deserve a better guy. And the guys think they are in a good relationship (marriage, or whatever) because their girl puts out once in awhile. How pathetic is that? Do YOU want to be one of those guys?

We as men have brought this upon ourselves. We have allowed social conditioning to tell us we are "lucky" to have a woman. When we get laid, it's often referred to as, "I got lucky." Or someone will say, "Did you get lucky?"

I wasn't on this site when Anti-Dump did his posting, but I think his advice is really great when it comes to selecting a woman to have a relationship with. I've read a lot of his stuff in the archives and I agree with most of it. He sounds a lot like Doc Love. The idea is to be really strict and weed out women who are not good relationship potential.

If she has low interest or a bad attitude, how could you possibly think it will get better with time? Yes, you can raise her interest, but only by so much. Why waste time with someone who doesn't want you or is just settling for you? Anti-Dump's advice makes sure you end up with someone who is crazy about you, and only grows to love you more.

And why not? Look at all the stupid tests women do to men to weed us out. In a sense, Anti-Dump's advice is just a man's way of testing a woman. And, like he says, it protects your heart. What could be more important than that? You all know what it feels like to think you really love a girl and have her do something that just crushes your heart. Not cool at all.

If all you're doing is looking to get laid and get some sexual experience, then I wouldn't worry much about Anti-Dump's advice. It will cause you to miss out on a lot of girls who are just looking for sex.

But, if you want something more meaningful, you'll want to follow his advice and take it to a whole new level. Most of us will want some kind of meaningful relationship with a woman some day, no matter how much we have been burned in the past. Anti-Dump's advice will lead you to such a relationship, but as Pook said it will take longer.

Even if you're just into getting laid, I would highly recommend following Anti-Dump's advice to the letter, with a girl you date every now and then. Because practice will lead to mastery. Which is where you want to be if you meet someone who is truly special, and she deserves more than a one-nighter or short term relationship with a Don Juannabee.

 

[Kwah]

What happened to AD? Good to see you back in the saddle there pook.

And yes, that does make sense. I just remembered yesterday to call back a girl I took out last tuesday. 1 full week later and she was still very interested in going out with me on friday. Gotta work within the confines to your own advantages.

And yes, Relationships are what I prefer, so if I dont **** this up I will post some constructive info about said endeavour into ball and chainhood

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by Pook
Anti-Dump's focus, it seemed, wasn't to influence her mind or even your mind. It was a WEEDING OUT PROCESS. It was a filter to wipe out the NON-INTERESTED chicks...

That's just it, Pook. Back in the day I was once the "clueless student" that Rebel Leader spoke of. I followed AD's advice to the damn letter. I was "weeding out" chicks left and right. And you know where it got me? In the same predicament I was in before I even came here. Alone. Yes, Pook, I now all too well that sex and success are not synonomous.

I was still alone, but not because AD's rules were wrong. To this day I still think his rules are spot on. I had become adept at ruling out disinterested women and demanding respect from people in general, a HUGE personal accomplishment. A "success" if you will. But still no sex or relationship.

On a deeper level, the point of my post is that sometimes we become so hell-bent on gauging interest that we fail to recognize our own lack of desirability. It is desirability, not interest, that is the key to attracting and keeping women.

Originally posted by Pook
From our Nice Guy days, we swore we would CHOOSE our girl (rather then have her choose us). Let us go all the way. Let us choose the RELATIONSHIP along with the chick. It's harder and takes longer, to be sure, but in this day of 'liberated' financially independent women, IT IS TIME FOR MEN TO BE PICKY in both the girls and the relationships we choose to enter.

Amen to that.

I may point out though, that the "percieved" right to be picky must be EARNED.

 

[icepick]

Pook wrote
Gentlemen, it is TIME we reverse this. We know that marriage is the woman's turf. We know that weddings and all is her little day to be princess. From our Nice Guy days, we swore we would CHOOSE our girl (rather then have her choose us). Let us go all the way. Let us choose the RELATIONSHIP along with the chick. It's harder and takes longer, to be sure, but in this day of 'liberated' financially independent women, IT IS TIME FOR MEN TO BE PICKY in both the girls and the relationships we choose to enter.

Rabble rousing again, eh Mr. Pook?

This, I think, is the definition of the Don Juan. A man who can choose his own LIFE.

Clint Eastwood wrote
We as men have brought this upon ourselves. We have allowed social conditioning to tell us we are "lucky" to have a woman. When we get laid, it's often referred to as, "I got lucky." Or someone will say, "Did you get lucky?"

Yeah, no kidding! Where did these sayings about "luck" come from? Sex is better for the girl, they have multiple long orgasms. It is THEM who get "lucky" when sex happens! (Although we get compensated by still being able to get nice young chicks and start families when we are old, plus we don't have to deal with getting pregnant, plus we dont have to worry about the bags of fat on our chest hitting our face when we run, plus.....well, I digress!)

If anyone has any ideas of exactly HOW these "get lucky" terms came about...I am all ears. (Or eyes )

If all you're doing is looking to get laid and get some sexual experience, then I wouldn't worry much about Anti-Dump's advice. It will cause you to miss out on a lot of girls who are just looking for sex.

Exactly! Some people don't realize that every person has different objectives for being on this forum. Some people would say that Anti-Dump is AFC because he doesn't focus as much on attracting/rapporting/etc. chicks.

Whatever.

When you have like four or five girls banging on your door, WHO NEEDS SEDUCTION? You would be better served to WEED OUT and CHOOSE from the girls that are on your tip, rather than more "skills, tips, etc." to obtain MORE women that you really don't need.

When you have NO chicks banging on your door, yeah, then you really don't need the advice of Anti-Dump.

You need a haircut!

 

[Leyton House]

Hi, i have been reading the posts here for around a month (some of it excellent stuff!). Now i decided to post also a few things...

Do you remember the post of player69 about interest levels? I think the 4 day rule comes down very much to that. A recovering AFC may have difficulties to estimate the IL and may have difficulties to keep up the mistery/challenge in the right way. So I think as a rule of thumb this rule is quite ok. Of course you can always say, this puts the attention on the woman on not on yourself. But if you finish this logic, you should not even approach a woman, because it is not about yourself. A human being is in the end a social being, so being together with other people makes life richer (not always of course, since there are enough b****es out there). Therefore I think it is ok to use a few "strategies" to increase the interest level (actually you are just helping the chick to make the right decision... ). The most important here remains to keep your self respect (excellent article by you survivor!) in any interaction with the woman and do not take any shvt from her. If that is the case I think there is nothing wrong with applying a few "tricks" (especially for the recovering AFC) to increase the IL.

 

[Survivor]

Thanks for posting, Leyton.

I agree that its ok to use a few "tricks". However, keep in mind that "tricks" DO NOT increase interest level. Desirability does.

Granted, the 4-day rule is an effective weeding out process, despite the fact that its also a rule that many women are well aware of. Some women claim to reject men for using the 4-day rule. But in reality their interest in the guy was never all that high to begin with (Which hints to the REAL problem we have with women, but more on that in my future "Looks" post). So does waiting 4 days increase IL? No, in fact it sometimes lowers her IL. Nevertheless for a beginning "DJ", the rule is still effective because it saves him from having to deal with a woman that required a level of desirability that was incompatible with what he could provide at that time.

Re-read the quote from Rebel Leader and you'll understand.

 

[Vassago]

Dammit...If anyone mentions me in a thread with Anti Chump again Im going to jump through my computer and give them a GIANT He-B!tch-Man-Slap!

 

[icepick]

Originally posted by Vassago
Dammit...If anyone mentions me in a thread with Anti Chump again Im going to jump through my computer and give them a GIANT He-B!tch-Man-Slap!

Quit playin' Vassago, we all know you are Anti-Dump!

Stop trying to hide it.

 

[Survivor]

ROTFLMAO!

I'm surprized you'd be this negative, Vassago. I gave you mad props in this thread!

 

[Pook]

Originally posted by Survivor
That's just it, Pook. Back in the day I was once the "clueless student" that Rebel Leader spoke of. I followed AD's advice to the damn letter. I was "weeding out" chicks left and right. And you know where it got me? In the same predicament I was in before I even came here.

I know what you mean! Following Anti-Dump's advice led me SPLAT into a wall! I was still a dork but I ended up weeding out chicks to fit me. The result? A dorky chick!

Alone. Yes, Pook, I now all too well that sex and success are not synonomous.

I'm not saying YOU. You and I are OLD MEN on this forum (we registered, what, three years ago?).

I think MOST of the guys who don't get it are still rather young. When you get older, usually it starts at around age of 22, something snaps in guys' brains that makes them want a relationship.

I was still alone, but not because AD's rules were wrong. To this day I still think his rules are spot on. I had become adept at ruling out disinterested women and demanding respect from people in general, a HUGE personal accomplishment. A "success" if you will. But still no sex or relationship.

Exactly! Anti-Dump was an older guy (in his thirties I think). He connected to the Internet through some web TV thing. I don't think he even owned a computer.

On a deeper level, the point of my post is that sometimes we become so hell-bent on gauging interest that we fail to recognize our own lack of desirability. It is desirability, not interest, that is the key to attracting and keeping women.

Yes. But the purpose of MY post was that we have been focusing so much on desirability ("set up your apartment like this so she will be attracted" etc.) that we may be able to choose the chick but not the relationship.

I've been going through some of the older posts. There is some stuff by Anti-Dump that I don't remember and I wonder how the hell he knew that. I'll make a tips post on some of it.

And he certainly isn't Doc Love. That I can be sure of.

I may point out though, that the "percieved" right to be picky must be EARNED.

This is true! But we are only half-way done.

To be DESIRABLE is nothing more than the mindset of the flower.

To be ACTIVE, to engage in the world and actually choose a relationship you want with that 9 or 10 is the Don Juan.

What good is the flower? You cannot eat the flower. The flower does not MOVE nor ACT. It just sits there, fluttering its petals about hoping all eyes fall on it. We have been so busy trying to pierce the female mind that, in the end, so many of us are acting like females. We want to get her LUST, to get her ATTRACTED. We want other guys to be 'jealous' of what we have. In some ways, this forum has turned away toward the idea sharing and more toward a female cattiness with members putting down other members (for no other reason) while others become words-drunk in their attempt to 'prove' they are the smartest person in the room.

When we focus on desireability, what is the result? We tend to look at WHOM WE ARE BEING DESIRABLE TO. In other words, we don't check out the chicks to check them out. No, we do it so we can gauge their INTEREST LEVEL. We have become chick-like; we are walking flowers.

Anti-Dump addressed this very well:

I keep telling you that 'signs' are unreliable and are a waste of time to look for.

Women HIDE (!) their true feelings. They conceal them until they are absolutely sure. That process takes months and months in a relationship. And you want them to show it before? Never going to happen.

The ugly ones do it because they are desparate. The 9&10's DON'T do it generally speaking.

You can't get into a woman's head early in the dating process. It's a SEALED VAULT. You must strike women at their WEAK spot. Their 'weak spot' is ACTION.

Men rule the action world. Women are king in COMMUNICATING. But weak in action.

The secret is asking them to DO things. This is their weak spot. They would rather 'talk' all the time and discuss things. They are experts in that. You CAN'T WIN UNLESS 'YOU' ARE THE EXPERT.

And you are. In DOING things. Asking for a date is the ultimate test. If a girl is interested she will go into her 'weak' area for you. She will do things. She will let you lead her in the ACTION world.

Women that are mediumly to low interested in you will HESITATE and think about it.

'Signs' are a form of communicating and that's where women are king.

Asking for a date is really saying 'let's do some action things'. You are seeing if she will leave her communicating world for you.

We've been trying to defeat women in their OWN world, in the realm of WOMANIVERSE. No wonder we see threads like, "Use Women's Own Weapons Against Them". But what about MAN'S weapons?

Anti-Dump nailed it. No matter what you do, you are still on the shifty ground of Womaniverse. By going the route of ACTION you take her out of Womaniverse and see if she will stay with you.

This thought also perfectly aligns with Wieneger's theories. Women are always social. Only when she becomes interested in a guy does she EXIT her Womaniverse and enter your world. Your habits and traits become hers. When married, she'll even adopt your name. She is the henid.

By focusing entirely on desirability, we put a glass ceiling on what we can do. Anti-Dump says... Wait! He can speak for himself:

You are under the impression that 9's & 10's will do that. Most won't. It's not a REVERSABLE process. Because ugly girls do that, beautiful one's WON'T.

The good looking ones HIDE their true feelings.

You must ask out the ones that show very little signs IF SHE IS SOMEONE YOU really WANT!

Risk is part of the game. No risk, no reward.

We keep creating safety nets. Instead of risking for love, we gobble up stale and bogus evolution theories. Instead of humanizing oureslves, we DEHUMANIZE the women (i.e. Weineger). Instead of following the name of ACTION, we keep going in circles in being 'desirable' in every and all ways, the result being a stupid flower.

What really broke me out of my shell was Anti-Dump. Before, I was being a little speed seducer and had the vanity to think I was so well beyond other guys. Going AD's way, I couldn't hide behind trying to ATTRACT her, trying to put her in a bubble of RAPPORT. So when I did SLAM against the wall, I finally did see myself and my dorkish flaws. That 'awakening' was worth every ounce of pain it gave.

Risk. It all comes down to RISK. It seperates the men from the boys, the true from the wannabes. People are not using this website to avoid problems. No, they are trying to philosophize risk out of existence. But if we cease to risk, we cease to be men. For the greatest risk we can take in life is not to risk at all!

 

[Survivor]

Well Pook if that's the case then we're back to the paradox of ACTION vs. DESIRABILITY. Behavior vs. attitude. Chicken vs. egg.

Taking the ACTION (or lack thereof) of waiting four day to call does not attract the female. But it does develop the man's own desirability, in that he learns to find better things to do with his time than wait for the "right" time to call a girl.

Pook, as you and I both learned the hard way, action does not attract. Only DESIRABILITY can attract into our world of action. ACTION only serves as the challenge, or test of worthiness. Its also through ACTION that DESIRABILITY is created and maintained. The process of creating desirability, however, is slow, painful, and marred with failure. Such is the RISK men must take to develop personal balance between the two worlds.

For women its the other way around. They often use their DESIRABILITY to generate ACTION through men. Even with women's lib, they have to struggle alot to generate ACTION on their own, WITHOUT men, and with society fighting against them. No I'm not talking about lesbians!(he,he) I'm talking about career women in business, sports, politics, etc. Such is their risk when women enter the world of action, creating their own personal balance.

Its starting to make sense now.

The objective of each visitor to this site is to find his own personal balance between the two words of action and desirability. One must become desirable enough to attract, yet taking action towards developing and maintaining his desirability. Like Rebel Leader said, in order to become desirable, one must first take action such that desirability eventually becomes second nature.

Again, is anyone reading the Rebel Leader quote? She already pointed all of this out.

 

[Aztec]

Originally posted by Pook


Exactly! Anti-Dump was an older guy (in his thirties I think). He connected to the Internet through some web TV thing. I don't think he even owned a computer..

I thought he was much older than that. Maybe late forties or early fifties.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Pook wrote

Some people here have so confused success and sex as to think the two are the same. Anyone can really get sex from a chick. It just requires consistancy and some boldness (along with retuning yourself towards the women). But there seems to be NO focus on this forum, ever since Anti-Dump left, of getting the RELATIONSHIP you want (getting her ATTRACTED, yes. getting her to give herself to you, yes.

Holy 5hit, someone's speaking my language!

One thing that a lot of guys don't understand is that sex is just another element of a relationship. Approaching her, asking for the number, calling her up and inviting her out with definate plans, moving in for the kiss, these are all elements of a relationship. There is one thing that these have in common - it is the MAN who (normally) takes the lead in creating these elements. Sex should be no different.

The problem that society has created is putting an incredible amount of emphasis on sex. According to 99% of all men, sex is the greatest achievement a man can reach in life. This leads to another problem - women use sex to get their own way with men, and it works! Women have now been accustomed to using their pu55y to get their way with men. This has got to change.

Men need to take the lead in sex, just as any other element of the relationship. The men have to decide when an appropriate time is to have sex. Men should be the ones leading the women into the bedroom. Men should turn down sex when they're in the middle of one of their personal projects. Men should turn down sex when they're too tired. Men should turn down sex when they need to get the right amount of sleep for work the next day. If men give into the women's request for sex all the time, they are handing the control of that element over to the woman.

This is just the beginning of the leader in the relationship losing his power. If the woman is handed over control of one element in the relationship, she will slowly work on achieving more, usually by bribing the man with sex. And of course, the man gives in.

 

[Vassago]

Survivor - I was just ****!n with you

Icepick - That's not funny

Pook - You are an UBER NERD. did you play the clairinet in high school by any chance?