Situational Neediness - GF became distant after going out of town - Going No Contact a good idea?

[jacketrunner]

You're 28 years old making reference to my mother like a 12-year-old. You are saying nobody in your family would cheat like they must go to you for confession.

Not surprised hoebag is banging Tyrone, you're mentally inept.

It’s just a basic standard of behavior that people of quality (unlike your mother) hold.

My parents would never cheat on each other. My brother would never cheat on his girlfriend.

I need to determine whether or not my girlfriend is a person of quality. I freely acknowledge that she might not be, in which case I will dump her.

Her family is stable and loving though, so I’m going to snoop before jumping to any conclusions.

 

[marmel75]

According to all objective data, most women don’t cheat, and men and women cheat at remarkably similar rates (20-25%)

I’m not saying my girlfriend isn’t one of the 20-25%, and I’m going to be extremely vigilant when snooping, but there is a chance that she didn’t cheat, especially considering that she comes from a stable family and has a great relationship with her dad, and if that’s the case, then I wouldn’t want to do anything drastic.

We all think that women cheat more than they do bc we’ve all seen the women who will, and its shocking and stands out to us. If you look at a forum of girls talking about male cheating, they will similarly overestimate the number of men who are unfaithful.

Again, though, I acknowledge the potential that my girlfriend is a trash cheater, and I’ll do my due diligence.

Here is the problem with these stats...women who have checked out of relationships even though they are still with the guy very likely don't consider it cheating when they bang a guy a few times to test the waters before breaking up with their boyfriend. Or have random encounters when they are in this state either.

Probably similar to guys...what the actual definition of cheating is not being measured but what someone considers "cheating" is what the researchers are actually measuring. There is likely a wide gap between these two definitions.

 

[Murk]

It’s just a basic standard of behavior that people of quality (unlike your mother) hold.

My parents would never cheat on each other. My brother would never cheat on his girlfriend.

I need to determine whether or not my girlfriend is a person of quality. I freely acknowledge that she might not be, in which case I will dump her.

Her family is stable and loving though, so I’m going to snoop before jumping to any conclusions.

I hope you never find out the truth haha. You are not even worthy of this cheating broad you have fallen in love with after 2 months you pathetic freak.

Tell you what, keep posting here and magically you will have all the answers.

She went distant for a reason, it's because you are not enough for her chump.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You're 28 years old making reference to my mother like a 12-year-old. You are saying nobody in your family would cheat like they must go to you for confession.

Not surprised hoebag is banging Tyrone, you're mentally inept.

I didn't recall him describing his situation.

My fault. New girlfriend. Odd distance after a trip away. He needs to be burying his rod in someone else and not worrying about her.

 

[Murk]

I didn't recall him describing his situation.

He just said none of his family would cheat, do you know how naive that is? Do you think marmels wife thinks he would cheat on her?

This guy is a deluded prick who deserves what's coming to him. 2.5 months in he can't hold down a chick and is freaking out like a little *****.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

He just said none of his family would cheat, do you know how naive that is? Do you think marmels wife thinks he would cheat on her?

This guy is a deluded prick who deserves what's coming to him. 2.5 months in he can't hold down a chick and is freaking out like a little *****.

Dude there are some morally sound nerd families who's never cheat. It's the minority though. I'd say 20%.

I used to be a guy that could cheat if I had options presented. Then I got on this no reason to cheat if you got great pvssy at home.

That not cheating mindset have got me taken for granted. And cheated.

So now I think to maintain balance that even a "good" man has to cheat a small amount. If he doesn't his wife will lose attraction for him and cheat.

 

[Murk]

Dude there are some morally sound nerd families who's never cheat. It's the minority though. I'd say 20%.

I used to be a guy that could cheat if I had options presented. Then I got on this no reason to cheat if you got got pvssy at home.

That not cheating mindset have got me taken for granted. And cheated.

So now I think to maintain balance that even a "good" man has to cheat a small amount. If he doesn't his wife will lose attraction for him and cheat.

I agree with you, I try to be loyal, but to think you can REALLY know if other people are cheating is nonsense and naive like OP.

Look he has morals, he's just a b*tch who is here crying and hasn't fvcked his so-called GF in a month, that's not a relationship. He is a mess.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree with you, I try to be loyal, but to think you can REALLY know if other people are cheating is nonsense and naive like OP.

Look he has morals, he's just a b*tch who is here crying and hasn't fvcked his so-called GF in a month, that's not a relationship. He is a mess.

He needs to fvck. If it ain't her someone else.

 

[jacketrunner]

I hope you never find out the truth haha. You are not even worthy of this cheating broad you have fallen in love with after 2 months you pathetic freak.

Tell you what, keep posting here and magically you will have all the answers.

She went distant for a reason, it's because you are not enough for her chump.

Wow dude. Your words are getting more aggressive and bitter.

Did I touch a nerve?

It’s cool... those who witness maternal unfaithfulness from an early age often have issues expressing themselves in constructive ways.

 

[jacketrunner]

He needs to fvck. If it ain't her someone else.

Not gonna cheat. Just gonna work on my inner game.

I’m super promiscuous when I’m single so if I cross the cheating threshold I’ll be a cheater for life.

Posting on this board has actually really helped me mentally.

It’s just rough that Murkserious has so much latent anger. Hopefully we can help him resolve his mommy issues.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Not gonna cheat. Just gonna work on my inner game.

I’m super promiscuous when I’m single so if I cross the cheating threshold I’ll be a cheater for life.

Posting on this board has actually really helped me mentally.

It’s just rough that Murkserious has so much latent anger. Hopefully we can help him resolve his mommy issues.

With a new girlfriend you guys aren't even fully committed. The sex might strangely bring her back to you. Nobodies gonna die. I don't condone dogging someone out unless it's a bytch that does that to men. I'm going on a strictly technical basis. When your babe pulls away it will raise her interest when you are pegging someone else.

 

[marmel75]

I agree with you, I try to be loyal, but to think you can REALLY know if other people are cheating is nonsense and naive like OP.

Look he has morals, he's just a b*tch who is here crying and hasn't fvcked his so-called GF in a month, that's not a relationship. He is a mess.

Its just against male instincts. Even in the animal kingdom scientists have found that animals they believed that "mated for life" have flings with others as well. Or they were only seasonally "together", ie once the mating season ends others are free game.

Society has come up with "marriage" as a way to prevent guys from doing this but who does it really benefit? Not men.

It benefits women and children and in the long run probably society in general as kids without a proper male influence in their lives usually have more issues than not.

But as far as benefitting men? No it doesn't. It basically forces us to fight against our instincts which is to bang hot women when we can. In effect guys are supposed to "take one for the team" so society and women and kids can benefit from them staying in relationships long term.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Guys, lets stop the personal insults so I can keep this thread open. You know who you are.

 

[jacketrunner]

Peopl

Its just against male instincts. Even in the animal kingdom scientists have found that animals they believed that "mated for life" have flings with others as well. Or they were only seasonally "together", ie once the mating season ends others are free game.

Society has come up with "marriage" as a way to prevent guys from doing this but who does it really benefit? Not men.

It benefits women and children and in the long run probably society in general as kids without a proper male influence in their lives usually have more issues than not.

But as far as benefitting men? No it doesn't. It basically forces us to fight against our instincts which is to bang hot women when we can. In effect guys are supposed to "take one for the team" so society and women and kids can benefit from them staying in relationships long term.

People will always cheat, but there will always be people who don’t cheat either. It depends upon personality type and the way you were raised.

If you have self-control, you can not cheat.

It’s like shoplifting. It will always exist, but not everyone will shoplift.

Many girls will have enough morality to not cheat, but it’s hard to know forsure who those girls are.

I think you have to screen for certain qualities — drinking and partying, for example, makes poor impulse-control more of a risk.

And having a poor relationship with her father makes her more likely to be a slutty validation-seeker.

It’s hard to know 100% whether a girl will cheat or not, but the same goes for guys.

Every single study suggests that the majority of people go their whole lives without cheating. And every girl has options to cheat, and probably has been in relationships with guys they eventually see as weak.

Personally, I’ve had situations where girls have tried to cheat and actually cheated on their boyfriends with me, and in every one of those circumstances the girl was either drunk or had a poor relationship with her father, which is an important thing to keep in mind.

 

[The Diver]

So now I think to maintain balance that even a "good" man has to cheat a small amount

I don't think you actually have to cheat if you don't want to. It's enough you covertly give her the feeling that you can, and maybe are, but she'll never know for sure. Her knowing you are a man of options and can replace her at any time is enough for her to want to be fateful to you if she truly loves you and won't want to lose you.

Anecdote: I did some job yesterday at a house belonging to a footy player. The guy is 6' 5 , masculine build, very handsome, and alpha at it best. He has a very hot woman. Can't imagine this woman will do anything inappropriate risking losing him. This IS a man with options. and I trust she knows it very well.

Just imagining you're a man with options is not enough, you actually NEED to be one for it to work.

 

[HankHill]

OK so when are you meeting her? I'm curious how this turns out.

 

[jacketrunner]

G

I don't think you actually have to cheat if you don't want to. It's enough you covertly give her the feeling that you can, and maybe are, but she'll never know for sure. Her knowing you are a man of options and can replace her at any time is enough for her to want to be fateful to you if she truly loves you and won't want to lose you.

Anecdote: I did some job yesterday at a house belonging to a footy player. The guy is 6' 5 , masculine build, very handsome, and alpha at it best. He has a very hot woman. Can't imagine this woman will do anything inappropriate risking losing him. This IS a man with options. and I trust she knows it very well.

I just lined up 2 tinder dates today. Feel weird about it but also less needy.

The weird thing about this relationship is that she was very in love with me and respectful of me before this trip.

Unlike her hometown, in the city I live in, I have a lot of friends and a nice place that she can stay at. I know the city better than her.

She definitely knows I have options. All her friends think I’m really good looking, And she notices girls checking me out when we go out together.

I’m not 6’5, but I’m 6’2 and 200+ pounds with low body fat. I lift 4-5 times a week.

I feel like relationships usually break down when people are together, but this one has broken down while we’ve been apart.
Such a weird spot to be in. I really don’t want to cheat or break up over text, but she’s forcing my hand.

As sketchy as her behavior has been, there’s always the nagging possibility that there’s been a miscommunication and she hasn’t cheated. If I were to become a cheater for the first time, then I think I would constantly cheat in all my future relationships, being that I’m such a man***** when I’m single.

I realize that “sexual strategy is amoral”, but I don’t want to descend into complete nihilism. There’s a confidence that comes with having the moral high ground over a treacherous b!tch.

 

[The Diver]

I’m not 6’5, but I’m 6’2 and 200+ pounds with low body fat. I lift 4-5 times a week.

She may or may not cheated on you, but stated in your previous post that you're "In love", caused you to become "Needy". This will kill any Mental/Emotional attraction, regardless of your physical traits. Woman hate and despised needy guys,

She may be physically attracted to you, but not sure she still mentally/emotionally attracted to you, you being needy.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Thumb rule: match their interest levels while edging towards lesser than them.

 

[resilient]

I skimmed through most of this thread. OP, you're not getting your needs met by your exclusive girlfriend who has stopped putting in effort into your relationship on all levels.

While honorable, I commend you for not lining up your options and hooking up with a replacement. I do believe its high time that the two of you meet to have a conversation about the status of the relationship.

If neither of you are feeling it just end it amicably and be on your way to new people who are more invested.

Work on personally fulfilling your own needs beyond just staying fit in the gym.

In all those weeks that she had been absent or non-communicative did you stay busy with your social life, career, education, hobbies, family, etc.? You'll lean less on your significant other the next time you allot time and space for your own inner development.