Hypergamy... what to do about it.

[mrgoodstuff]

Doesn't always work like that. Sometimes a woman will cheat/leave a good man for a low-life neighbourhood drug dealer or some criminal scum. I've heard it happen to a dentist that I indirectly know. Maybe it's a guy that just has better chemistry and charm than you do and just connects better with her than you do? You think that just being the best guy you can be is even a realistic solution to keep your woman from not cheating/leaving you?

Sometime what you think is scum is someone on their level.

 

[IKO69]

Doesn't always work like that. Sometimes a woman will cheat/leave a good man for a low-life neighbourhood drug dealer or some criminal scum. I've heard it happen to a dentist that I indirectly know. Maybe it's a guy that just has better chemistry and charm than you do and just connects better with her than you do? You think that just being the best guy you can be is even a realistic solution to keep your woman from not cheating/leaving you?

...and? I'm not saying you are incorrect in your assertion - there have and will continue to be men who do seemingly the right things and it just doesn't work out - the woman is just a piece of **** as you stated and she runs off with some gangbanger or criminal scum....ok, so what? I don't know why some of you guys on here focus on the exception rather than the rule. This is NOT going to happen the MAJORITY of time when we are talking about a good man/provider ---- and truthfully its usually apparent when a woman is of good quality or not. Women don't typically just turn rotten overnight - the behavior is normally present for some time, maybe it had always been there but the guy didn't do his homework, didn't listen to other people or frankly just has no standards.

Now to answer your question why it pays to be the best you can be --- because it's not always just about the woman. Life doesn't just stop when you get a girlfriend or wife --- and we have already touched upon the prospect of losing her...you just gonna bury your head in the sand? You be the best you can be, be the genuine "prize", guess what? it's a lot less likely your girl will cheat and if she were to (playing devils advocate), you will bounce back a lot faster and much easier. I don't even know why you would challenge this.

The main reason why guys find themselves coming to this site are because they are not doing what I have said above. If they were on their grind everything would sort itself out. It is said that woman go for and are attracted to the alpha male, the woman's goal is to find one of these guys....what are these guys doing? Are they not usually at the top of the chain of whatever fields they are in? How do you think they got there? A great athlete like Lebron James - do you think he just sat on his ****ing couch playing video games and stuffing cheeto's into his mouth and sucking down mountain dews? He sacrificed HOURS of time to play basketball in order to get good...now he reaps the rewards. Guys need to do the same, simple as that.

 

[corrector]

Now to answer your question why it pays to be the best you can be --- because it's not always just about the woman. Life doesn't just stop when you get a girlfriend or wife --- and we have already touched upon the prospect of losing her...you just gonna bury your head in the sand?

That's a bit of a drawback about worrying about losing "a good thing" isn't it? I mean that's really something you don't have to worry about if you are single.

You be the best you can be, be the genuine "prize", guess what? it's a lot less likely your girl will cheat and if she were to (playing devils advocate), you will bounce back a lot faster and much easier. I don't even know why you would challenge this.

You are saying "it is an exception?". There was another poster that says sometimes a woman can just get bored and try something new. Maybe she may wake-up one day and decides she doesn't love you. Look at the other poster resilient, he's a gym nut but his wife isn't getting prettier for him. She's a fat lazy slob as he describes her.

The main reason why guys find themselves coming to this site are because they are not doing what I have said above. If they were on their grind everything would sort itself out. It is said that woman go for and are attracted to the alpha male, the woman's goal is to find one of these guys....what are these guys doing? Are they not usually at the top of the chain of whatever fields they are in? How do you think they got there? A great athlete like Lebron James - do you think he just sat on his ****ing couch playing video games and stuffing cheeto's into his mouth and sucking down mountain dews? He sacrificed HOURS of time to play basketball in order to get good...now he reaps the rewards. Guys need to do the same, simple as that.

Now that's realistic. Like I said, I never discounted celebrity status on my posts on this thread. I said, at a certain point, there are always going to be other guys who have an equal or higher SMV than you do, even if you are at your best....and hey, you no matter how hard you try doesn't mean you are going to make it. Some people things just do not work out no matter what they do. You talk about Lebron James, yeah, but you didn't talk about the x amount other guys who also didn't stuff cheetoe's and mountain dews, or play video games that didn't make it to that level.

In the Olympics in Germany, the second place winner, Mack Robinson, ended up working as a janitor in an all white school because he was just a fraction of a second behind Jesse Owens. Are we going to say Mack Robsinson deserved that because he watched TV and ate bad food? Of course not! You are really making some weird assertions. If you have to be perfect, like the best, in order to have a girlfriend or wife that won't cheat on you then that's a real tall order that just doesn't sound realistic at all. Not everyone makes it, and there are no participation awards for trying.

 

[IKO69]

That's a bit of a drawback about worrying about losing "a good thing" isn't it? I mean that's really something you don't have to worry about if you are single.



You are saying "it is an exception?". There was another poster that says sometimes a woman can just get bored and try something new. Maybe she may wake-up one day and decides she doesn't love you. Look at the other poster resilient, he's a gym nut but his wife isn't getting prettier for him. She's a fat lazy slob as he describes her.



Now that's realistic. Like I said, I never discounted celebrity status on my posts on this thread. I said, at a certain point, there are always going to be other guys who have an equal or higher SMV than you do, even if you are at your best....and hey, you no matter how hard you try doesn't mean you are going to make it. Some people things just do not work out no matter what they do. You talk about Lebron James, yeah, but you didn't talk about the x amount other guys who also didn't stuff cheetoe's and mountain dews, or play video games that didn't make it to that level.

In the Olympics in Germany, the second place winner, Mack Robinson, ended up working as a janitor in an all white school because he was just a fraction of a second behind Jesse Owens. Are we going to say Mack Robsinson deserved that because he watched TV and ate bad food? Of course not! You are really making some weird assertions. If you have to be perfect, like the best, in order to have a girlfriend or wife that won't cheat on you then that's a real tall order that just doesn't sound realistic at all. Not everyone makes it, and there are no participation awards for trying.

I don't know about the other poster and what he said doesn't matter. Yes I am saying it's an exception and many of you guys take them and turn it into the rule, which is frankly one of my biggest pet peeves about this place. There's no shortage of these guys here who as a result of being hurt focus on and internalize the worst and became paranoid neurotics in the process. The sad part is that new people who don't know better and come here looking for answers are impressionable read some of this bull**** and then unfortunately are brought down as well. Now there are many examples I could cite but if you don't know what I am talking about I'll give you 1: I noticed after going back a bit it seemed like it became a trend that every mother ****er had a bad experience with a bipolar disorder woman. Now I don't doubt maybe a couple of members might've had a bad experience with a woman with mental illness but I doubt even a quarter have and when people just randomly pull the BPD label out of their ass to categorize other people that's a ****ing joke.

What you said at the end about Lebron was exactly what I thought you would say in return. Obviously not everyone can be like Lebron James no matter how hard they try and I would never be so foolish to say otherwise. You then went on to say something about how I implied a man must be perfect in order to get a girlfriend or a wife, not so at all. That was never the point of the Lebron James example. The point of the Lebron James example was to show that he worked his ****ing ass off to have the success he has and because he has that success he is highly desirable. Unless he royally ****ed up, do you think his wife is ever going to leave him? Women would do anything to be with him. Would a lot of those be golddiggers after his money? Yes, but there are also women that would want to be with him and would damn well try to please him 1000% because he is a man of value. That was my point - many guys are not go getters and don't display the kind of drive that a guy like Lebron James has, which ends up becoming undesirable to women.

What percentage of men say they are gonna take life by the horns and aim for the stars vs rather just sorta settling into a career and half assing it? And then you see it carry over into these guys marriages- they are happy for the first couple of years, have a kid or two and then....you'd think they resemble siblings more than husband and wife. Many times either the husband and/or the wife (in this case I will be focusing more on the man) change and the spark is no longer there. I am 35 years old; I have known many couples - some made it some did not and I can't tell how times this particular scenario was one of the chief complaints. When I say that I don't mean 1 or 2 times I mean a great deal of times in the couples that did not make it. I don't know if I'll ever get married or if I even want too, but let's say I found someone I deemed worthy and was gonna make the HUGE decision in marrying....I sure as hell would do my best to be remain the kind of guy she fell in love with and work to make our lives better. I would be taking her out on dates as if we hadn't been married 5, 10, 15 years after the fact and personally speaking when I read the testimonies of some of these couples on the news sometimes that were together for 60+ years and were genuinely happy during that time, and you can tell it's genuine, I have noticed they never stopped "dating" even while married. The husband remained the kind of man the woman fell in love with. To further that attraction a man who strives to improve himself and get more and do more, displays a alpha mentality, is always going to be seen as desirable to a woman. It's only on this site that is frowned upon and people actually bring up why you would want to do such a thing.

 

[Poonani Maker]

You come into contact with a woman one-on-one or with other observers present in the room and you say and speak pretty much the same to her with an audience as you would one-on-one, over time...I think that she will grow more comfortable with you, err being able to trust you. I know what it's like to have a woman lock on to me for me and to shut everyone else out. It's like, to her, "err, I've never met anyone like this before" a man who speaks his mind, who is opinionated regardless of who's in the room. No "politics" is play, it's just him. It's kinda like the old westerns, the saloon-swinging doors, the directness, but you must always keep in mind that no matter her current hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, even yearly, devotion or infatuation with you, it can and will wane and she may stray a time or 2. Our problem as men is only the courts, ONLY. If a woman were to "stray," a time or 2 I'd be fine, if there were no financial penalties for droppin her as5.

 

[Toddz]

As guys, our best tool when it comes to this is simply not to care.

Life is short, and women will come and go. She can easily be replaced if she decides to walk. My best advice when it comes to dating and relationships is to not give a fuk. Literally. Do what you want when you want, live in your frame not hers.

Finally, always have self respect and dignity for yourself at all times. If you're dating a chick and she perceives a better prospect has come along, show her the door, lock it, and throw away the key. Don't be a chode and try to keep her around. Just move on to another prospect. There are no second chances.

 

[corrector]

I don't know about the other poster and what he said doesn't matter. Yes I am saying it's an exception and many of you guys take them and turn it into the rule, which is frankly one of my biggest pet peeves about this place. There's no shortage of these guys here who as a result of being hurt focus on and internalize the worst and became paranoid neurotics in the process. The sad part is that new people who don't know better and come here looking for answers are impressionable read some of this bull**** and then unfortunately are brought down as well. Now there are many examples I could cite but if you don't know what I am talking about I'll give you 1: I noticed after going back a bit it seemed like it became a trend that every mother ****er had a bad experience with a bipolar disorder woman. Now I don't doubt maybe a couple of members might've had a bad experience with a woman with mental illness but I doubt even a quarter have and when people just randomly pull the BPD label out of their ass to categorize other people that's a ****ing joke.

What you said at the end about Lebron was exactly what I thought you would say in return. Obviously not everyone can be like Lebron James no matter how hard they try and I would never be so foolish to say otherwise. You then went on to say something about how I implied a man must be perfect in order to get a girlfriend or a wife, not so at all. That was never the point of the Lebron James example. The point of the Lebron James example was to show that he worked his ****ing ass off to have the success he has and because he has that success he is highly desirable. Unless he royally ****ed up, do you think his wife is ever going to leave him? Women would do anything to be with him. Would a lot of those be golddiggers after his money? Yes, but there are also women that would want to be with him and would damn well try to please him 1000% because he is a man of value. That was my point - many guys are not go getters and don't display the kind of drive that a guy like Lebron James has, which ends up becoming undesirable to women.

What percentage of men say they are gonna take life by the horns and aim for the stars vs rather just sorta settling into a career and half assing it? And then you see it carry over into these guys marriages- they are happy for the first couple of years, have a kid or two and then....you'd think they resemble siblings more than husband and wife. Many times either the husband and/or the wife (in this case I will be focusing more on the man) change and the spark is no longer there. I am 35 years old; I have known many couples - some made it some did not and I can't tell how times this particular scenario was one of the chief complaints. When I say that I don't mean 1 or 2 times I mean a great deal of times in the couples that did not make it. I don't know if I'll ever get married or if I even want too, but let's say I found someone I deemed worthy and was gonna make the HUGE decision in marrying....I sure as hell would do my best to be remain the kind of guy she fell in love with and work to make our lives better. I would be taking her out on dates as if we hadn't been married 5, 10, 15 years after the fact and personally speaking when I read the testimonies of some of these couples on the news sometimes that were together for 60+ years and were genuinely happy during that time, and you can tell it's genuine, I have noticed they never stopped "dating" even while married. The husband remained the kind of man the woman fell in love with. To further that attraction a man who strives to improve himself and get more and do more, displays a alpha mentality, is always going to be seen as desirable to a woman. It's only on this site that is frowned upon and people actually bring up why you would want to do such a thing.

It doesn't make sense to marry unless your SMV is at a certain minimal threshold.

 

[corrector]

As guys, our best tool when it comes to this is simply not to care.

Life is short, and women will come and go. She can easily be replaced if she decides to walk. My best advice when it comes to dating and relationships is to not give a fuk. Literally. Do what you want when you want, live in your frame not hers.

That only works if you have a healthy SMV otherwise that is sh1tty advice. Here if a woman goes and you end up an incel for the next ten years or so then you are sort of screwed. It's better not to get into a relationship in the first place unless there is a healthy SMV because then you have to worry about breaking-up and ending up an incel again for the rest of your life.

 

[user43770]

That only works if you have a healthy SMV otherwise that is sh1tty advice. Here if a woman goes and you end up an incel for the next ten years or so then you are sort of screwed. It's better not to get into a relationship in the first place unless there is a healthy SMV because then you have to worry about breaking-up and ending up an incel again for the rest of your life.

You aren't even making sense anymore.

If a guy got 1 chick to have sex with him, he can get another one to. Unless he has a defeatist attitude like yours.

 

[zekko]

It doesn't make sense to marry unless your SMV is at a certain minimal threshold.

Or if you're like a billionaire and heavily lawyered up, that way you could start a family and have a couple of kids if that's what you want. And still have plenty of money to weather any divorce.

 

[Toddz]

That only works if you have a healthy SMV otherwise that is sh1tty advice. Here if a woman goes and you end up an incel for the next ten years or so then you are sort of screwed. It's better not to get into a relationship in the first place unless there is a healthy SMV because then you have to worry about breaking-up and ending up an incel again for the rest of your life.

Improve your smv then.

Get in the gym, focus on your dreams and goals in life, and elevate your game.

Incel? That whole incel movement is garbage, stop reading into that nonsense. There's women out there for everyone. It's the incel attitude and inaction in life that put them in that mindset in the first place.

My advice is gold though. You will keep more women in your harem when you simply don't care about them. Practice the power of indifference.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Seems to be a LOT of pressure on men today. One must be the 'best version of themselves', be always improving and performing. What we said of the workplace, has now moved into relationships.

One can not help but eye the past with envy - there you just had to be good enough, and your personal relationships were like a sanctuary and refuge from the dog eat dog world. You could feel secure!

I think the way to go is to relax with 'good enough', and then attract to yourself a women with the same outlook on life as you, if are looking for an LTR that is, one able to submit to a moral view of the universe. This is a version of the op's major point of screening heavily.

Unless the 'women problem' is truly solved, one way or the other, you will remain pre-occupied with women to the detriment of more pressing matters.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Don't get jerked around by females. Have true abundance. Ie: a rotation. Never make women the centerpieces of your life , your purpose should be your center.

 

[AJ84]

All good points. I have been on this site long enough to say what we should do as men.

1) have a harem even if you have a gf (actually ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE ONE). women will respect you if you have tons of chicks you’re sleeping with

2) have an interest outside of sex

3) don’t be afraid to go NC. Our attention should be valued by her

Wtf? If you believe your first point then you don’t understand women AT ALL.
Only a complete ding bat would respect her guy for sleeping with other women.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Wtf? If you believe your first point then you don’t understand women AT ALL.
Only a complete ding bat would respect her guy for sleeping with other women.

That's "girls" and there's plenty of them.

 

[AJ84]

Hypergamy is uncompromising. Its a reason why men must aik high and then, go get it but, it must be authentic and individual rather then for the feminine imperative. Its not about her. Female hypergamy proliferated the species across space and time. Its definitely got it's purpose, that being survival of the fittest.

I've said it before. Men should go beyond sorry and prey. Women need to go beyond hypergamy. Much of our behavior is random if you don't unplug from your DNA and social conditioning.

The thing is, despite what you want women to like or not like, despite the feminine imperative, you don’t decide what women find attractive, and who and how they choose to date. Women decide that. Just like men decide the same things in women.
You can’t fight against what women want in a man any more than a woman can fight against what a man wants in a woman. That’s how it was, is, and always will be. So when you rally against this feminine imperative, criticizing what women find attractive and what draws them into relationships, the only thing you are really accomplishing is nexting girl after girl after girl who doesn’t fit your criteria based on what you want her to be attracted to, rarher than what she is actually attracted to.

Imagine a woman arguing against what men find attractive and refusing to play into the masculine imperative. How far do you think that’s going to get her? How many cats will she collect in her lifetime? Probably quite a few lol.

I thought game was about tapping into what women want and find attractive and using that to one’s benefit, not trying to change what attracts women to men.

This is the impression I get from most of your posts.

Not all women are going to dump a guy for another guy with more resources, but having things like a good job, financial stability are important to most women even the ones who make good money, that’s not going to change anytime soon.

Just like being fit and feminine is important to most men and that’s not going to change anytime soon despite some feminists shaming men for that.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

A man should be the king of his castle. He first needs to struggle to build it, but that building and struggling is only a means to an end. There is simply no point in continually strengthening walls beyond a certain point [the futility of egoism].

At the end of the day, you need to enjoy the fruits of your labor where you can RELAX. The aim is to enjoy the companionship of those you've allowed across the moat, whether friends, lovers, or God. To see life as a continual competition is to miss the point, to miss the best life has to offer.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Most men over-value women, one way or the other. And then the MGTOW lifestyle attempts to under-value them, or write them off. The challenge is to find the goldilocks zone, where you put a right value on women.... not too much and not too little. In moderating your value of women, you become capable of screening them properly... and the hypergamous ones are screened out.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The thing is, despite what you want women to like or not like, despite the feminine imperative, you don’t decide what women find attractive, and who and how they choose to date. Women decide that. Just like men decide the same things in women.
You can’t fight against what women want in a man any more than a woman can fight against what a man wants in a woman. That’s how it was, is, and always will be. So when you rally against this feminine imperative, criticizing what women find attractive and what draws them into relationships, the only thing you are really accomplishing is nexting girl after girl after girl who doesn’t fit your criteria based on what you want her to be attracted to, rarher than what she is actually attracted to.

Imagine a woman arguing against what men find attractive and refusing to play into the masculine imperative. How far do you think that’s going to get her? How many cats will she collect in her lifetime? Probably quite a few lol.

I thought game was about tapping into what women want and find attractive and using that to one’s benefit, not trying to change what attracts women to men.

This is the impression I get from most of your posts.

Not all women are going to dump a guy for another guy with more resources, but having things like a good job, financial stability are important to most women even the ones who make good money, that’s not going to change anytime soon.

Just like being fit and feminine is important to most men and that’s not going to change anytime soon despite some feminists shaming men for that.

You kinda nailed bigdave17 too. Many of us actually. We don't get to decide female values and hypergamy.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The thing is, despite what you want women to like or not like, despite the feminine imperative, you don’t decide what women find attractive, and who and how they choose to date. Women decide that. Just like men decide the same things in women.
You can’t fight against what women want in a man any more than a woman can fight against what a man wants in a woman. That’s how it was, is, and always will be. So when you rally against this feminine imperative, criticizing what women find attractive and what draws them into relationships, the only thing you are really accomplishing is nexting girl after girl after girl who doesn’t fit your criteria based on what you want her to be attracted to, rarher than what she is actually attracted to.

Imagine a woman arguing against what men find attractive and refusing to play into the masculine imperative. How far do you think that’s going to get her? How many cats will she collect in her lifetime? Probably quite a few lol.

I thought game was about tapping into what women want and find attractive and using that to one’s benefit, not trying to change what attracts women to men.

This is the impression I get from most of your posts.

Not all women are going to dump a guy for another guy with more resources, but having things like a good job, financial stability are important to most women even the ones who make good money, that’s not going to change anytime soon.

Just like being fit and feminine is important to most men and that’s not going to change anytime soon despite some feminists shaming men for that.

There is no single 'feminine imperative', just as there is no single masculine imperative. Those that think there is are most probably just projecting their own ideology onto it. Just as various men will be driven by various aims, the same applies to women. Of course, you can always generalize, always look at the bulk of the bell curve and the norm... but there are always exceptions to the norm.

Anyone interested in self-improvement, the exceptional and the excellent, will always eschew the norm.