Met 21 Year Old from Facebook - Is she playing games or just not interested?

[Reyaj]

I started talking to this girl on Facebook just from randomly messaging her. We traded a few messages back and forth.. I actually thought she wasn't interested because her messages were short.. but when I asked for her number on there she surprisingly gave it to me. I legit was very busy so I actually forgot about her but I did end up calling her a week later. She enjoyed talking to me and we talked a few more times on the phone where she thanked me for calling and even sent a follow up text how talking to me was becoming a highlight of her day.

So I end up meeting this girl on Tuesday at a cafe/restaurant. She asks me what I wanted before I got there and I said just water which she teased me about but she bought it for me. When I got there she smiled and gave me a good hug... and I sat down and we talked. She did most of the talking but seemed kind of shy but smiled and giggled a lot and looked away out of shyness nervousness but only once in a while. It seemed more like excitement really.

She had a pen on the table and I jokingly told her I was going to keep it.. She said something like its her favorite pen and I can only borrow or have joint custody and it means I'd have to see her again. Basically everything was going pretty well I thought. I saw she finished her coffee and I said we could go and she actually insisted she was fine and said if I had to go i can..So we stayed and talked more. I mentioned how I parked far across the other parking lot because I stopped at another store and she actually volunteered to drive me back.

So anyway we end up going to her car and she drives me back to my car. I tell her to pull next to my car and she goes to give me a hug. We hug and then I go in and I start kissing her... The kissing was soft and sensual.. I mixed in some tongue and she had a smile on her face the whole time... Then she pulled back told me "ok you better stop or I'll want to be here all night" Anyway I told her good night and she said please please let me know when you get in. I said ok and told her to drive safe.

So I basically felt really good.. I thought things went well. i actually decided I wasn't going to text her though and let her text me... Well a few hours passed and she didn't text me... so I caved and sent her a text "hey hope you made it home ok" This was like after 11pm or so... Well she didn't respond at all, not even the next day (yesterday)

So around 10pm yesterday i sent her a text "hey I haven't heard from you please let me know you got in ok"

#Side Note: She actually has a manageable health issue.. (but I was sure she got home cause I saw her last time logged in on facebook messenger)

She responds back a few minutes later "Hey I'm so sorry I fell asleep the second I got home and I had a long day at work today lol"

I respond back a few minutes later "ok no prob. Glad you are ok"

So that was it and that's where we stand... She used to want to talk to me on the phone and send some random texts throughout the day which hasn't really happend. Grant it we just met Tuesday but I just feel like something is different.

What are your thoughts and what is the best way to proceed?

#Note: I know a lot of you are going to say to Next but if anyone has anything with more substance to share please do so. Nexting protects your ego but doesn't get you laid with your target.

 

[Jay Bigz]

She's playing games with you. This is just a taste of what is to come if you choose to pursue this further. Red flag central! In my experience, if a women has enjoyed a date, she will always tell you immediately afterwards. A girl does not want to 'blow it' with somebody they really like and most women understand that in the early stages of courting, a guy needs a little bit of reassurance, in order for them to continue to lead the way. You had to text her twice to get a response and after that she had no interest in extending the conversation, let alone meeting up again.

If a women is acting she like she's not that into you, following a date, it usually means that she's legitimately not that into you - it's rather simple. Don't worry though man - she liked you enough to meet up in the first place and let you shove your tongue down her throat, but as for anything further, she's clearly not interested in anything more. You may hear from her again, when she's drunk, or feeling needy for some attention, so if you don't mind being 'used' as an accessory, to meet her needs, then go for it. If you're looking for somebody who actually likes you, then play on player - there's plenty more fish in the sea.

 

[D.Savage]

First of all good job, you did really good so you should feel good. I personally dont think shes playing games but if i was you i would fall back until she comes to me which would let me know shes possible interested, you did your part fam, the ball is in her court. Im not saying to never ever talk to her again just fall back a little bit, either way you did good.

 

[sazc]

Dunt next her but, since she isn't investing time into you, don't invest time into her.

You met this one, you can meet another. If she eventually texts, you can pick it back up at that point.

 

[Reyaj]

She's playing games with you. This is just a taste of what is to come if you choose to pursue this further. Red flag central! In my experience, if a women has enjoyed a date, she will always tell you immediately afterwards. A girl does not want to 'blow it' with somebody they really like and most women understand that in the early stages of courting, a guy needs a little bit of reassurance, in order for them to continue to lead the way. You had to text her twice to get a response and after that she had no interest in extending the conversation, let alone meeting up again.

If a women is acting she like she's not that into you, following a date, it usually means that she's legitimately not that into you - it's rather simple. Don't worry though man - she liked you enough to meet up in the first place and let you shove your tongue down her throat, but as for anything further, she's clearly not interested in anything more. You may hear from her again, when she's drunk, or feeling needy for some attention, so if you don't mind being 'used' as an accessory, to meet her needs, then go for it. If you're looking for somebody who actually likes you, then play on player - there's plenty more fish in the sea.

Yes this was my first instinct and my experience too. A lot of time the women who showed the most IL in me let me know they had a nice time or sent something nice. This is part of the reason I didn't text her back right away, I really thought after not hearing that I got home she would text me, but I was surprised she didn't. I was also thinking it was possible she thought I wasn't into her though since I didn't text but the fact that she didn't mention that and just apologized when I texted her the next night kind of defeats that theory.

First of all good job, you did really good so you should feel good. I personally dont think shes playing games but if i was you i would fall back until she comes to me which would let me know shes possible interested, you did your part fam, the ball is in her court. Im not saying to never ever talk to her again just fall back a little bit, either way you did good.

Thanks.. this is really the part I'm wondering about... do I fall back and just see if she ever reaches out and if not just assume she is a waste of time... or Do I make the first move and at least try to meet up with her again?

Dunt next her but, since she isn't investing time into you, don't invest time into her.

You met this one, you can meet another. If she eventually texts, you can pick it back up at that point.

We are both away this weekend so I probably won't reach out. While I know most think I should wait for her to reach out... is it possible she is waiting for me to reach back out? I mean all I did was see if she got in ok and didn't telegraph any interest beyond that.
Its not worth trying to message her next week and just ask her out again?

 

[sazc]

@Reyaj I think you've reached out enough. You sent a text to see if she got home, she didn't answer, 36 hours goes by and you had to text again to get her attention.

By now she should feel obligated to text you first as an "I'm sorry" for ghosting you for so long.

I'm sure you're confused about her interest level, based off the date interaction, but re focus into meeting someone else for now. If she is interested, she will reach out.

 

[Jay Bigz]

Yes this was my first instinct and my experience too. A lot of time the women who showed the most IL in me let me know they had a nice time or sent something nice. This is part of the reason I didn't text her back right away, I really thought after not hearing that I got home she would text me, but I was surprised she didn't. I was also thinking it was possible she thought I wasn't into her though since I didn't text but the fact that she didn't mention that and just apologized when I texted her the next night kind of defeats that theory.

Exactly man - any first date I've ever been on, that has ended up leading to a relationship, the women has always texted to say 'thanks for a great time' before I've even had the chance to wonder if I should or not. It seems that most women, who have let a guy court them, know that it's their unwritten duty to provide that reassurance, seeing as the man has already put in all that 'work' beforehand.

As Sazc just said above, you've reached out enough man and she's not playing ball, for whatever reason. Even if she's interested, do you really want to get involved with someone that plays such mind games at the start? I'd actually advise moving on swiftly, as you've already proved you have the ability to convert online encounters into an actual date! If you do really want to get at least a 'lay' out of it, then just wait to see if she contacts you again and take it from there. She's not majorly into you though, as she didn't answer your text for 36 hours after the date and probably was never going to, until you text again! We can't please them all! No man is desired by every single women in the universe. Maybe it was just one little thing you did, or said, that killed the attraction for her during the date - that's not to say that a different women would be turned off by the same thing. If a women doesn't like you for who you legitimately are, then she's not worth your time.

 

[Mazer]

Yep, high interest chicks always texts the day after with a Thank you. Wait a week to see if she reaches out, set up a date if she does. If she doesn’t contact you in a week, send her a text. Doesn’t sound good though.

 

[Reyaj]

@Reyaj I think you've reached out enough. You sent a text to see if she got home, she didn't answer, 36 hours goes by and you had to text again to get her attention.

By now she should feel obligated to text you first as an "I'm sorry" for ghosting you for so long.

I'm sure you're confused about her interest level, based off the date interaction, but re focus into meeting someone else for now. If she is interested, she will reach out.

Well she did respond to my text where I said to let me know she was ok. So depending on how you look at it, I could be up for texting her to ask her out again or something. But I do feel if her IL high she would text me first. But also possible every girl acts different.. There were a few girls in the past where they kind of were silent until i reached out and i ended up going out with them again.

Exactly man - any first date I've ever been on, that has ended up leading to a relationship, the women has always texted to say 'thanks for a great time' before I've even had the chance to wonder if I should or not. It seems that most women, who have let a guy court them, know that it's their unwritten duty to provide that reassurance, seeing as the man has already put in all that 'work' beforehand.

As Sazc just said above, you've reached out enough man and she's not playing ball, for whatever reason. Even if she's interested, do you really want to get involved with someone that plays such mind games at the start? I'd actually advise moving on swiftly, as you've already proved you have the ability to convert online encounters into an actual date! If you do really want to get at least a 'lay' out of it, then just wait to see if she contacts you again and take it from there. She's not majorly into you though, as she didn't answer your text for 36 hours after the date and probably was never going to, until you text again! We can't please them all! No man is desired by every single women in the universe. Maybe it was just one little thing you did, or said, that killed the attraction for her during the date - that's not to say that a different women would be turned off by the same thing. If a women doesn't like you for who you legitimately are, then she's not worth your time.

You're right and what you are saying has really matched the majority of my experiences. There's two exceptions I can think of though... one girl I met for coffee briefly but didn't make out or anything. There was no contact for over a week, I reached out and asked her out again for drinks.. we ended up hooking up awseome that night. Another was a girl I met for coffee as welll and then for drinks.. I played kinda hard to get after the 2nd date and didn't reach out... later she told me I should have cause I could have had her anytime I wanted to.

So yeah maybe I'll try that here... I'll reach out next week sometime if I feel like it.. what is there to lose right? I am about to go on another date in a few mins lol

 

[Glassguy]

Reach out after a week and simply ask her when she is free again.....that is if she doesnt reach out first.

Anything else from you right now will look like insecure chasing from a man who has no other options.

As a rule of thumb, if you have to ask others about why a woman is acting a certain way, it's either low interest, shes confused about what she wants or playing games/attention wh0ring.

Silence and distance is the cure all for each.

 

[NSX-R]

I believe she's not texting you back to see your interest level . Since you texted her twice with a genuine interest for her wellbeing i think you covered this part well.

I would try for a 2nd date and see from there how things move.

 

[Reyaj]

Reach out after a week and simply ask her when she is free again.....that is if she doesnt reach out first.

Anything else from you right now will look like insecure chasing from a man who has no other options.

As a rule of thumb, if you have to ask others about why a woman is acting a certain way, it's either low interest, shes confused about what she wants or playing games/attention wh0ring.

Silence and distance is the cure all for each.

Yeah my gut and past experiences with similar scenarios say the IL for whatever reason has gone down. But you also never know.. she really could be waiting on me to make the first move... and/or she is giving me a shvt test.

She coaches high school girls for a sport and is going to a competition this weekend. Should I text her at all wishing her good luck or just text her next week?

I believe she's not texting you back to see your interest level . Since you texted her twice with a genuine interest for her wellbeing i think you covered this part well.

I would try for a 2nd date and see from there how things move.

What and when would your next text be?

 

[Reyaj]

Oh I just wanted to talk about the date I went on yesterday. I ended up making out with this girl after as well but a lot more and a lot longer. We met at a bar and sat at a table (which I didn't like but she got there first and preferred it) She talked a lot and i teased her a little.. She actually asked for my validation saying something "I guess I'm not giving a good impression so far" after my funny negs. But anyway like I said we made out in the car, and she texted me when she got it in. I responded hope you had a nice time. She responded back I did. I hope you did too! . She then sent another text "You're also a pretty good kisser haha". i responded back "Thank you so are you, didn't want to stop" She responded back "maybe we can get together again sometime? If you're interested.." I responded back "I would like that" She responded back "great" "perhaps when you get back" with a second text. I didn't respond and today she texted me out the blue "hey safe travels have fun"

No before you all kill my "AFC" texts back to her.. I want you to know I am not that into her. She is heavy and not as attractive as the girl I wrote this thread about. I actually don't plan on responding back to her texts... but if I'm horny when I get back I might just try and see if I can get to her place somehow but I'm not into her at all. But this is a good contrast how some girls do indicate their interest like you'd expect. However as I said she is not as hot and kind of heavy so maybe hotter girls play more coy...

 

[NSX-R]

The interaction with girl 2 wasn't so bad . She offered a 2nd date and you let all options available. Not a bad move . Definitely she will be thinking of you for the next week.

Op girl , whenever you feel like going out text her. I suppose , she thinks that you are not too much into her . She isn't sending any text to not annoy you i guess . Still her response was too late and women are 24/7 in front of their smartphone screens gossiping.

Give it another shot . I'm sure you're gonna strike this time .

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

You either hit it or you next her. Then, go get more baes.

 

[Reyaj]

Alright so I am going to text her I think... What would you send? Here's some options I am thinking of

"Hey how did everything go this weekend?" (She coached some kind of competition out of state)

"How's your day going"

"Hey what is your week looking like"

"So do you usually kiss guys then stop talking to them? "

 

[MrWood]

"i need a partner in crime, lets go rob a bank"

 

[Reyaj]

"i need a partner in crime, lets go rob a bank"

Yeah? What would my follow be if she responds with "?"

 

[sosousage]

general rule is if you have to wonder if shes playing games then she is.

probably doesnt make sense to u, but interested women dont play games

 

[Reyaj]

general rule is if you have to wonder if shes playing games then she is.

probably doesnt make sense to u, but interested women dont play games

It makes sense, I've been in this game a while. Enough to know there is no absolutes.