At A Complete Loss...

[Reykhel]

If you re read my post I said "most women" and what I meant by that was that most women when questioned would say something along the lines of tall, handsome, in good shape etc and these are qualities of mine that are indisputable; I'm frequently told by men and women alike that I am handsome which means no more than my facial features fit the "golden ratio" to some extent and this is universally deemed as "good looking". When I'm out on a night out I frequently get approached by people and get complimented on my looks, physique and my sense of style.

What it certainly doesn't mean is that this makes me more attractive as my experience tells me otherwise. I appear to be missing some piece of the puzzle to give me that appeal that some guys just exude and take for granted.

With regards to the Harley comment; I have frequently read OLD profiles that specifically mention a preference for a biker so whilst I realise you can't just hop on two wheels and be knee deep in it, you might reasonably expect it would give you an extra advantage no matter how small it may be.

I am going to begin restricting my carb intake now as I train very hard 3 or 4 times a week and generally only get loads of carbs in post workout to refuel but I'm of the opinion that reducing them further and supplementing the calories with extras protein and fat can only improve my look. Pretty clued up with regards to training and nutrition with 20+ years training under my belt.

Get off old mate.

You're a biker. That's who you are. What would be the point in hugo boss shirts.

Again, I don't know exactly what you are looking for. But you seem concerned about finding it. This in itself is telling.

It's like you have this equation running around your head "I don't get it, men and women are telling me how handsome I am yet I am not getting the
snatch that I want"

What is it exactly that you're after? a girlfriend? a harem? one night stands?

Be a biker, go out have fun. Fvck old. Fvck caring so much.

I dig the Harley by the way

 

[Reykhel]

Some of you guys should visit the real world and see how it operates.

Elaborate por favor.

Real world? Old?

 

[guru1000]

Elaborate por favor.

Real world? Old?

Because OLD is fiction?

You're a biker. That's who you are. What would be the point in hugo boss shirts.

Apparently you missed the pic he posted where he wore a fitted white shirt with high-end jeans and watch? See Post 12.

Be a biker, go out have fun. Fvck old. Fvck caring so much.

Advising a man to adopt a DGAF mentality without carving the product to meet the market's needs is not a solution either.

Reykhel, three camps in this forum:

1) Focus on outer game a/k/a LMS only. See Urbanyst.
2) Focus on inner game only. See a few posters in this thread.
3) Focus on outer game and inner game.


Recommendations purported will differ subject to subject. Let's look at the OP's posts, shall we:

Since being given no explanation, I resolved to figure things out for myself and it was at this point I was recommended "3% Man" by Corey Wayne by a friend and that pretty much answered all of my questions and following that I have gone on to read dozens and dozens of Red Pill dating/relationship books such as "The Book of Pook", "The Rational Male" series, Roosh's "Bang" and "Day Bang", "Mystery Method", "The Natural" by Richard Ruina, "Models" by Mark Manson and many others too.

I'm a confident ****y bastard, I'm a highly intelligent intellectual sort, I'm funny, I have a good job, I'm not afraid to call women out on princessy BS

I have all but eliminated fear of rejection and approach anxiety and regularly chat women up during the day (and to be honest prefer doing so than when pissed up at weekends) yet if I do get a phone number then 100% flake out on me as do the ones I meet online with the usual scenario being a few messages back and forth and then nothing

It varies, I never ever text/call immediately and usually leave it at least a day or so and also never reply immediately. My texts are pretty brief and succinct and I seldom send more than one without a reply and if that means the end of the interaction then so be it...next!

Now, Reykhel, you advise the man, given the above, to simply DGAF, and there lies his solution. Explain how the simple act of DGAF will magically solve his issues with women. Then I will explain the dramatic difference in dating results between holding a lean physique vs. holding a bodybuilding off-season physique as well as the significance of tending your style to the market of women you seek.

 

[guru1000]

What I can say is that spending too much time dwelling on girls who reject you will get you nowhere. Rejection is obviously affecting OP's game, so it's a sign that there are deeper issues he needs to address than what type of shirt he should wear, and 'water-weight...'

Yes, rejection is a part of "sales." This is correct. However, at a 100% rejection rate, the problem no longer falls upon dealing with rejection, but rather upon the product and how the product meets the consumers' needs.

 

[Reykhel]

Because OLD is fiction?

Doesn't really answer the question. I was curious to your statement.

Apparently you missed the pic he posted where he wore a fitted white shirt with high-end jeans and watch? See Post 12.

Apparently you missed the point that if he's already dressed like that, adding another 200 dollar shirt is just masterbation (if that's not the guy's

Then I will explain the dramatic difference in dating results between holding a lean physique vs. holding a bodybuilding off-season physique as well as the significance of tending your style to the market of women you seek

thing)

Advising a man to adopt a DGAF mentality without carving the product to meet the market's needs is not a solution either.

it's a solution to his mental malaise. We are looking at things from a different angle (again, I repeat...what's the guy looking for, perhaps I missed that part)

Now, Reykhel, you advise the man, given the above, to simply DGAF, and there lies his solution

This is slightly dishonest of you. I'm wondering why the man cares that much. A man that tense and worried gives off that vibe. That's the angle I'm exploring. Get it?

Explain how the simple act of DGAF will magically solve his issues with women.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here and say you are being honest. Clearly I'm hitting the guy from a different angle. Clearly. I would say you might be bored.

Fvck that hore****e.

 

[guru1000]

Doesn't really answer the question. I was curious to your statement.

Apparently you missed the point that if he's already dressed like that, adding another 200 dollar shirt is just masterbation (if that's not the guy's
thing)

Style is one of the most profound changes a man can make to open up the floodgates of beautiful women. The assumption here is OP is seeking "beautiful" women, as I assume at at 100% flake ratio and a decent looking chap, he is pursuing this type. Perhaps, OP can clarify whether my assumption is correct.

Assuming OP is pursuing the most sought-out type of women, a purchase of a Hugo Boss (or like) shirt, pants, high-end shoes will make a dramatic difference in his presentation, so much so, that one's dating life with this "type" of women can diametrically change.

it's a solution to his mental malaise. We are looking at things from a different angle (again, I repeat...what's the guy looking for, perhaps I missed that part)
This is slightly dishonest of you. I'm wondering why the man cares that much. A man that tense and worried gives off that vibe. That's the angle I'm exploring. Get it?

Based on OP's posts, I did not sense malaise or worry that is unfounded, but rather a natural reaction to a 100% flake ratio, that any man, including you or me, would feel upon hitting a complete wall.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here and say you are being honest. Clearly I'm hitting the guy from a different angle. Clearly. I would say you might be bored.

Fvck that hore****e.

Interested only in providing a specific workable solution to OP's nuanced problem, not reiterating Manosphere jargon at the wall irrespective of whom is in front of me. Not to say that was your intent but the way you referred to my recommendations to OP appear undermining.

 

[Reykhel]

Style is one of the most profound changes a man can make to open up the floodgates of beautiful women

I don't disagree.

The assumption here is OP is seeking "beautiful" women, as I assume at at 100% flake ratio and a decent looking chap, he is pursuing this type

Ok maybe we are not operating from the same assumption. I would like him to say exactly what he is looking for. For this I am still unclear, so perhaps I'm seeing it in a different way.

Perhaps, OP can clarify whether my assumption is correct.

Yes, this is what I'm unclear about.

Assuming OP is pursuing the most sought-out type of women, a purchase of a Hugo Boss (or like) shirt, pants, high-end shoes will make a dramatic difference in his presentation, so much so, that one's dating life with this "type" of women can diametrically change.

Sure. You are not wrong. How can I explain where I sort of disagree with this. The only disagreement here is that dressing yourself to the nines if that's not something you want to do for you, I don't know a part of me thinks, this is so much effort just for women. If he wants to do this for him and thus women is a byproduct........I see your point though. You are fully direct, immersed. Rather I was offering another point that if he wants to swag up that it be because he wants to. I don't know man, I see something a little false.

Based on OP's posts, I did not sense malaise or worry that is unfounded,

I did. maybe we see things differently.

Not to say that was your intent but the way you referred to my recommendations to OP appear undermining.

Apologies if it was undermining. I respect your opinion. But I don't know, I see a grown ass man here trying to hard to get what. Again, I don't know exactly what he's looking for and how desperate he is to get it. I hate to see men desperate.

 

[guru1000]

Sure. You are not wrong. How can I explain where I sort of disagree with this. The only disagreement here is that dressing yourself to the nines if that's not something you want to do for you, I don't know a part of me thinks, this is so much effort just for women.

But we do have to put effort in, right? Can't just roll out of bed, unkempt, because it saves time, and expect dating effectiveness. However, she has to put in the same, even more effort: makeup, costume, heels, among the myriad other methods of appearance upkeep.

Hell, I dislike cardio, and I really dislike carb deprivation. But both get me to my dating goals. I measured periods of times where I was bodybuilder- blown up and my diet felt comfortable--against--times where I was lean and my diet felt uncomfortable, and the contrast in my dating results were like night and day.

We could adopt the "fvck them" philosophy and expend no effort on ourselves in the context of dating "to be true to who we are," but, then, this begs two questions:

1) Are we being true to who we are by not getting the women we desire and having to settle because our dating marketability does not match whom we desire?;

2) Who we are is simply an amalgamation of social constructs, conditioning, and genetics, which give rise to practiced (and thus learned) behaviors that become who we are by the hands of habituation and conditioning. Thus, who we think we think we are is simply the learned behaviors that we have practiced over time. So why not practice new behaviors to become a New YOU, who will also meet the demands of the market, that is, to the women whom we desire.

Who we are, thus, "should" be fluid in accordance with the "needs" of the market to be truly effective in meeting our own desires.

Reykhel, I've always found you with profound wisdom over the years. Your thoughts?

 

[Reykhel]

But we do have to put effort in, right? Can't just roll out of bed, unkempt, because it saves time, and expect dating effectiveness. However, she has to put in the same, even more effort: makeup, costume, heels, among the myriad other methods of appearance upkeep.

Hell, I dislike cardio, and I really dislike carb deprivation. But both get me to my dating goals. I measured periods of times where I was bodybuilder- blown up and my diet felt comfortable--against--times where I was lean and my diet felt uncomfortable, and the contrast in my dating results were like night and day.

We could adopt the "fvck them" philosophy and expend no effort on ourselves in the context of dating "to be true to who we are," but, then, this begs two questions:

1) Are we being true to who we are by not getting the women we desire and having to settle because our dating marketability does not match whom we desire?;

2) Who we are is simply an amalgamation of social constructs, conditioning, and genetics, which give rise to practiced (and thus learned) behaviors that become who we are by the hands of habituation and conditioning. Thus, who we think we think we are is simply the learned behaviors that we have practiced over time. So why not practice new behaviors to become a New YOU, who will also meet the demands of the market, that is, to the women whom we desire.

Who we are, thus, "should" be fluid in accordance with the "needs" of the market to be truly effective in meeting our own desires.

Reykhel, I've always found you with profound wisdom over the years. Your thoughts?

Here's where I see different to you...

Everything i do is for me. Women come next.

It seems.......

Everything you do.......is for (to gain) women.

You say you hate cardio but you do it for your "dating goals" (wtf mate?), me I fvcking love cardio end of.

I live my philosophy...for me.

it seems....like you live your philosophy for women

For example I couldn't never work out with the end goal of "getting women". I've worked out since a youth and when I don't train I'm like a dog who needs it's walk. That ****e is for me.

The op, well I just felt he was perhaps moving towards selling his soul for the devil so to speak.

My opinion was, fvck that. got on that harley and do what you want to do. I don't understand how women do not come that way when a man is living up to his life energy. This guy seems too concerned

 

[guru1000]

Here's where I see different to you...

Everything i do is for me. Women come next.

It seems.......

Everything you do.......is for (to gain) women.

Women is one of my many desires. I also desire wealth, friendship, good familial relations (out of distant family members), physicality goals, spirituality growth, education, knowledge, intellectual discourse, etc.

Yes I know the mantra very well, that is, "Women is not the focus, but rather the byproduct, of your goals." Do you know how I know this mantra? I created it back in 2008. I created this mantra so men can focus on self-improvement rather than "game." And so the forum transmuted that way.

However, a mantra is exactly that ... a mantra.

By contriving that everything you do is for yourself and nothing you do is prompted by your desire for women, you are being disingenuous in your motive.

 

[Reykhel]

To contrive that everything you do is for yourself and nothing you do is prompted by your desire for women, you are being disingenuous in your motive.

No. No I am not. I understand why you are saying that, but you are wrong. I'm more acutely aware that you could imagine where my motivations come from. Do not project your own motivations upon me with such haughty arrogance.

 

[guru1000]

No arrogance at all.

You cannot belie your hardwiring (with a sane mind). Your biological drive prompts certain behaviors, and although you may think these behaviors are directed solely by your own volition, they are innately prompted to secure the strongest DNA for your genetic offspring.

To claim that everything you do is not connected in any form to attracting the best women you can means you have transcended your carnal form.

More practical to say that I try not to allow my desire for women to supersede my greater passions or higher inclinations. But to deny your lower inclinations and motivations altogether is not realistic nor practical.

 

[Reykhel]

means you have transcended your carnal form.

Thank you.

 

[Reykhel]

No arrogance at all.

You cannot belie your hardwiring (with a sane mind). Your biological drive prompts certain behaviors, and although you may think these behaviors are directed solely by your own volition, they are innately prompted to secure the strongest DNA for your genetic offspring.

To claim that everything you do is not connected in any form to attracting the best women you can means you have transcended your carnal form.

More practical to say that I try not to allow my desire for women to supersede my greater passions or higher inclinations. But to deny your lower inclinations and motivations altogether is not realistic nor practical.

Survival and replication.

For some, survival was the primary motivation. Childhood survival, adult survival. War.

When survival is your primary motivation, replication takes it's second place. Survival. Fight.

The rocky road.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Do you know how I know this mantra? I created it back in 2008. I created this mantra so men can focus on self-improvement rather than "game." And so the forum transmuted that way.

All hail the great Guru!

The creator of life, the teacher of men!

Before Guru came, men were lost. Men were confused. Men didn't know what to do!

But verily, the holy Guru has come unto us and has set us free!

Guru saved mankind!

Guru saved Sosuave!

Behold, the great and holy Guru! Teacher of men and slayer of babes!

Hail Guru!

Hail Guru!

Hail Guru!

 

[guru1000]

All hail the great Guru!

The creator of life, the teacher of men!

Before Guru came, men were lost. Men were confused. Men didn't know what to do!

But verily, the holy Guru has come unto us and has set us free!

Guru saved mankind!

Guru saved Sosuave!

Behold, the great and holy Guru! Teacher of men and slayer of babes!

Hail Guru!

Hail Guru!

Hail Guru!

Don't undermine your sensei Toyko man.

 

[Orbitron]

Get off old mate.

You're a biker. That's who you are. What would be the point in hugo boss shirts.

Again, I don't know exactly what you are looking for. But you seem concerned about finding it. This in itself is telling.

It's like you have this equation running around your head "I don't get it, men and women are telling me how handsome I am yet I am not getting the
snatch that I want"

What is it exactly that you're after? a girlfriend? a harem? one night stands?

Be a biker, go out have fun. Fvck old. Fvck caring so much.

I dig the Harley by the way

Ultimately I would like to just be able to see a girl I like, approach her and stand a very good chance of dating her and ultimately sleeping with her and if it leads to something more permanent then so much the better but if not then no big deal and move onto the next one.

 

[Orbitron]

Well I do have some potentially good news...

A month or so ago I met "Josy" on Tinder (25 yo smoking hot Brazilian student, in the UK to learn English) and she had her Instagram profile linked so I sent her a message on there instead and we got talking. Eventually swapped numbers and carried on talking on WhatsApp. Ended up going on a date with her and as it transpires, she barely speaks any English at all so much of the date was done over Google translate on our phones but we had a right good laugh and thoroughly enjoyed each others company.

Tried to get another date over the course of the next week or so but she seemed a bit non committal so after asking her out twice and no definite plans I cut my losses, deleted her number and all the convo's so far. About a week after this, I get another text from her which was just a kissing smiley and I just thought fvck it she just wants some attention again so left it a day or so before replying with just "Hi". She asked how I'd been and that so I said I was good, been out enjoying the sun on my bike and just having a good time and never asked after her and certainly didn't ask her out again.

Another 10 days or so go by and I get another one from her and again she's asking how I am etc, so again say to her all's well and I asked how she was doing. It was at this point she says that we've not spoken in ages to which I reply "Well you know where I am if you want to see me..." and she comes back with something like "Yes I want to; let's arrange to see each other again" so we plan to see each other this coming Tuesday.

The old no contact rule and being indifferent seems to be bearing fruit so watch this space...

 

[Reykhel]

Well I do have some potentially good news...

A month or so ago I met "Josy" on Tinder (25 yo smoking hot Brazilian student, in the UK to learn English) and she had her Instagram profile linked so I sent her a message on there instead and we got talking. Eventually swapped numbers and carried on talking on WhatsApp. Ended up going on a date with her and as it transpires, she barely speaks any English at all so much of the date was done over Google translate on our phones but we had a right good laugh and thoroughly enjoyed each others company.

Tried to get another date over the course of the next week or so but she seemed a bit non committal so after asking her out twice and no definite plans I cut my losses, deleted her number and all the convo's so far. About a week after this, I get another text from her which was just a kissing smiley and I just thought fvck it she just wants some attention again so left it a day or so before replying with just "Hi". She asked how I'd been and that so I said I was good, been out enjoying the sun on my bike and just having a good time and never asked after her and certainly didn't ask her out again.

Another 10 days or so go by and I get another one from her and again she's asking how I am etc, so again say to her all's well and I asked how she was doing. It was at this point she says that we've not spoken in ages to which I reply "Well you know where I am if you want to see me..." and she comes back with something like "Yes I want to; let's arrange to see each other again" so we plan to see each other this coming Tuesday.

The old no contact rule and being indifferent seems to be bearing fruit so watch this space...

On the "date" with the brazilian was there no physical contact?

Seems strange that you had such a good date and then she wasn't eager to meet up again. Just speculating, but were you too much of a gentleman with her on the first date?

But yeah, you got to whip them with the whip of no indifference when she's not showing eagerness.

 

[Orbitron]

On the "date" with the brazilian was there no physical contact?

Seems strange that you had such a good date and then she wasn't eager to meet up again. Just speculating, but were you too much of a gentleman with her on the first date?

But yeah, you got to whip them with the whip of no indifference when she's not showing eagerness.

Depends on how you quantify being a gentleman; we started off in a coffee shop where we had a drink and during which I did begin touching her - on her knee, held and kissed her hand at one point and she also was touching me and my arms as she was interested in my tattoos. After that we went for a walk through town, down to the beach and I offered her my arm (which she took) and we held hands briefly.

I went in for the kiss as we said goodbye but just got a quick peck on the lips and another on the cheek. Didn't escalate as much as I would have liked but maybe the language barrier was a factor? The conversation was flowing though and her body language whilst not hugely encouraging, was certainly not closed off at all.