Getting discouraged

[captain55]

The thing is I’m not getting discouraged from typical rejection. That is not my issue. It’s getting the chicks to meet up with me.

I’m sucessfully closing numbers in places that are very hard to close numbers from. Pizza shops, malls, stores. For example i closed an 8.5 Thursday night. We talk and she even calls me Friday. Now she isn’t responding to my texts.

Too much attention you look desperate, too little you look like you don’t care. I can’t win.

Keeping a chicks interest level high after 2-3 days of the initial face to face meetup is a challenge for me. Getting the numbe answer making an impression comes natural to me.... there is obviously something off with my text game.

The emotional high of landing an 8.5’s number, for it to never go anywhere 95% of the time Is starting to weigh me down.

 

[wifehunter]

Not responding to texts = probably sh!t test

Odds are, you're plate #47.

 

[captain55]

There are all kinds of reasons why women sharply lose interest, and I'm not going speculate upon all of them. One thing that is common, however, is that this is often a result of shattered first impressions. In other words, you do something right, in which she sees something of interest initially, but then you eventually come to do something else that conflicts with and ruins whatever that initial impression was. It doesn't have to be much, as this is the point when it is the easiest for a person to drop you and move on over minor issues because it is a time before any emotional or social development occurs.

That can be anything and I don't know what you're doing to even fathom a guess here. But in general, any follow up after first contact is always going to be a process of confirmation. Whatever it is that attracts these women has to be reinforced. If this is, in fact, part of your problem, then there should be some conflict of interest somewhere between your behavior/actions when things go right and you're behavior/actions when they go wrong. If it always seems to go wrong at the same place, then there is certainly an issue to be found there.

You mentioned that you believe texting may be where things are going wrong for you. Is there anything in these text interactions that might conflict with your interactions when you're getting their number?

I will give an example.

-Thursday night I close an 8.5 at a pizza place. My follow up text is
“Have you met any handsome Italian guys lately?”
Her “who is this? I’m totally kidding” Nice to meeting you Italian Jason!”

I call her the next day she picks up says she is busy and will call me back. She calls me back three hours later but I’m busy and tell her I can’t talk. We agree to talk the next day or later that evening.

I send her a joking text next day
“This is a super lonely easter for me since I’m not with my family. I need an Armenian chick in my life, you and your 85 cousins will be perfect company”
Her “Sorry this is a lonely Easter for you and I do have 85 cousins haha”
Her “and I’m a woman not a chick lol”
Me “what are you up to tonight”
Her “I’m at a restaurant for a birthday for my uncle with my 80 cousins”
Me “Nice. So are you more of the homebody type or do you like to go out a lot, travel, etc. I’m the kind of guy who can’t sit still in one city, traveling makes me feel alive”

No response.

In person interactions are my strength but texting is not clearly

 

[btownbuck2012]

I will give an example.

-Thursday night I close an 8.5 at a pizza place. My follow up text is
“Have you met any handsome Italian guys lately?”
Her “who is this? I’m totally kidding” Nice to meeting you Italian Jason!”

I call her the next day she picks up says she is busy and will call me back. She calls me back three hours later but I’m busy and tell her I can’t talk. We agree to talk the next day or later that evening.

I send her a joking text next day
“This is a super lonely easter for me since I’m not with my family. I need an Armenian chick in my life, you and your 85 cousins will be perfect company”
Her “Sorry this is a lonely Easter for you and I do have 85 cousins haha”
Her “and I’m a woman not a chick lol”
Me “what are you up to tonight”
Her “I’m at a restaurant for a birthday for my uncle with my 80 cousins”
Me “Nice. So are you more of the homebody type or do you like to go out a lot, travel, etc. I’m the kind of guy who can’t sit still in one city, traveling makes me feel alive”

No response.

In person interactions are my strength but texting is not clearly

you're chit chatting way too much man. Use the phone to set up a time to get together. After the nice meeting you italian jason text you should have said something along the lines of let me know whan you're free this weekend to get together. There's a great place by xyz we can meet at, etc.

I'll also add the level of flakiness you're getting is totally common. The reasons you're getting flaked on are endless. I've had women flake me after sex. THe common response is "what did I do wrong?!". Well if you banged her, not much. It's a direct result of the social media influence on women. They have unlimited options and can drop you easily for millions of reasons.

 

[skinnyguy]

Your problem is that you ask for numbers, thus giving women all the power.

 

[MrWood]

Me “Nice. So are you more of the homebody type or do you like to go out a lot, travel, etc. I’m the kind of guy who can’t sit still in one city, traveling makes me feel alive”

text games always needs to end with a question if you expect a response.
you should have said: "Me “Nice. So are you more of the homebody type or do you like to go out a lot, travel?" and wait for her reply (now you have no mystery as she knows what type you are, or were you doing some bullshvt "value building" exercise?

 

[Chev.Chelios]

girls would rather sit on their couch all day mindlessly browsing snapchat and instagram, getting their male attention that way then go meet up with some guy they threw their number at the mall.

no more number closes from now on, theyre garbage. snapchat close from now on.

theyre never browsing through their phone contacts, their browsing through their storys every 15 goddamn minutes..

everytime I post a story, doesn't matter what time of day, the girls im fvcking will see it and respond back to it almost everytime hahah.
I havnt received a text from a chick in aloonnngggg time. only my baby's mother.. heh

some get jealous when I have other girls on their, some get curious, random ones will ask me where the party's are at on the weekends..

it's beaufitul. I also close every girl I meet off tinder to snapchat, won't even bother talking to them on that app.

 

[Igetit!]

Your problem is that you ask for numbers, thus giving women all the power.

No it's not. His problem is the type of conversation he has when he texts a girl.

That convo he had with that chick UNINTENTIONALLY displayed all kinds of UNATTRACTIVE traits a man should want to avoid. The conversation was riddled with them. The Op is oblivious to the vibe his discussion gives off. Like this for example.....

“This is a super lonely easter for me since I’m not with my family. I need an Armenian chick in my life, you and your 85 cousins will be perfect company”

Now I know this was supposed to be a joke,but that aside,what type of vibe would you say this gives off?

He used the word "lonely"...and used the word "need"....saying that he "needed" an Armenian chick (referring to her)......IN HIS LIFE...meaning his life was LACKING something. Also,he said this about Easter....a holiday. And holidays are generally when family and friends come together the most.

The overall vibe here is that he's a loner......not a fun,vibrant SOCIAL guy with a life full of family and friends.

If you notice what she said when he asked her what she was up to,she was at her uncle's birthday party,with a bunch of other people around.

He should have ended the conversation right there. Instead,he ask a random,out of the blue question that seemed to come out of left field.....a question that honestly,should have come on A DATE. She was at a BIRTHDAY PARTY. That's not the time to try to draw her into a "get to know you" type discussion thru text.

If this conversation is how he talks to girls in general,then it's no wonder he's getting discouraged.

 

[Trump]

I will give an example.

-Thursday night I close an 8.5 at a pizza place.

Getting a number means nothing. 90% of the time hot girls give you their numbers to get rid of you.

My follow up text is
“Have you met any handsome Italian guys lately?”
Her “who is this? I’m totally kidding” Nice to meeting you Italian Jason!”

That's weak and childish. How is that a sign of power, leverage, respect? I would have said: "Hey I'm going to concert in 3 days, would like you to join me. Can you go?

I call her the next day she picks up says she is busy and will call me back. She calls me back three hours later but I’m busy and tell her I can’t talk. We agree to talk the next day or later that evening.

I send her a joking text next day
“This is a super lonely easter for me since I’m not with my family. I need an Armenian chick in my life, you and your 85 cousins will be perfect company”
Her “Sorry this is a lonely Easter for you and I do have 85 cousins haha”
Her “and I’m a woman not a chick lol”
Me “what are you up to tonight”
Her “I’m at a restaurant for a birthday for my uncle with my 80 cousins”
Me “Nice. So are you more of the homebody type or do you like to go out a lot, travel, etc. I’m the kind of guy who can’t sit still in one city, traveling makes me feel alive”

No response.

Bro, when you are asking a girl out. APPEAL TO THEIR SELF INTEREST, not to their mercy or gratitude (Law 13, 48 Laws of Power). Find something that benefits HER, and emphasize it all out of proportion.

You being "lonely" doesn't benefit her, its pity
You needing a "chick" in your life doesn't benefit her, its pity

You going to a concert with her where she can have fun, benefits her, she'll seriously consider it.
You inviting her over for a great meal and banging her brains out, benefits her, she'll consider it.
You inviting her to a Vegas trip where she can go crazy and unwind, benefits her, she'll consider it.

Come on men, step your game up.

 

[sazc]

She said she was at a restaurant with family celebrating a family birthday and you decided to try to get her to have a conversation with you? Why? You are coming off as insensitive and daft.

Of course she didn't respond, she's clearly busy and focused elsewhere yet you think she should continue to pay attention to her phone instead of her family? Ego much?

She told you she was out, she told you she was busy. Your response should have been "enjoy your family and your party, text or call me when you are free to chat"

Balls in her court, you go on with your life.

 

[captain55]

Getting a number means nothing. 90% of the time hot girls give you their numbers to get rid of you.



That's weak and childish. How is that a sign of power, leverage, respect? I would have said: "Hey I'm going to concert in 3 days, would like you to join me. Can you go?



Bro, when you are asking a girl out. APPEAL TO THEIR SELF INTEREST, not to their mercy or gratitude (Law 13, 48 Laws of Power). Find something that benefits HER, and emphasize it all out of proportion.

You being "lonely" doesn't benefit her, its pity
You needing a "chick" in your life doesn't benefit her, its pity

You going to a concert with her where she can have fun, benefits her, she'll seriously consider it.
You inviting her over for a great meal and banging her brains out, benefits her, she'll consider it.
You inviting her to a Vegas trip where she can go crazy and unwind, benefits her, she'll consider it.

Come on men, step your game up.

If it was such a weak opening text why did she end up actually going out of her way to return my call three hours later the next day... on a Friday night none the less?

I told her I was too busy to talk when she returned it and cut it short (only because I actually was busy).

And I disagree about an opening text asking a girl out on a date. Never works unless the chick is an easy slut, she approaches you, or if the meet up is for that night.

 

[captain55]

She said she was at a restaurant with family celebrating a family birthday and you decided to try to get her to have a conversation with you? Why? You are coming off as insensitive and daft.

Of course she didn't respond, she's clearly busy and focused elsewhere yet you think she should continue to pay attention to her phone instead of her family? Ego much?

She told you she was out, she told you she was busy. Your response should have been "enjoy your family and your party, text or call me when you are free to chat"

Balls in her court, you go on with your life.

I agree this is where I messed it up. And yeah part of me thought about saying what you mentioned but I was just anxious to talk I guess.

Any chance I can recover from this? Was thinking of sending a text tomorrow. “hey Anna, hope you had a good Easter with your family. If your free to grab dinner and drinks one night this week let me know”

Normally I wouldn’t put so much thought into it but it took me a lot of effort to game her. After two tries at getting her number I called her over from across the room in a restaurant, got her to walk across the room to my table and actually got her number. And she called me nonetheless.

I feel very comfortable in real life things just come natural. The phone is another story for me

 

[BeExcellent]

As @Amante Silvestre noted you are blowing yourself out of the water in the text string, which comes off completely needy, try hard, socially daft and desperate. Sorry to be so blunt, but I cringed at the text exchanges.

You are a bust sought after guy, right? So you have to act like it. Best if you ACTUALLY are, but I digress.

@sazc is correct. It's Easter Sunday. Lots of people are busy with family and get togethers and what not. Your best bet when she said she's busy with her 80 cousins or whatever would be "Awesome. Hope you enjoy them." and nothing further.

Then she gets to wonder if she is going to hear from you again, if in fact she likes you. Or she wonders enough to reach out to you herself. You aren't giving her any space to wonder what you are doing for Easter. On holidays particularly, less is more. She is busy and sought after...and so are you. Quit being Eager Beaver. Be patient and let her wonder in the space you provide.

I disagree about questions in text exchanges with @MrWood because anytime you put a question mark in a conversation you are placing an expectation on her that she respond...and sooner rather than later. This is very subtle but it's there. Consider two ways of requesting a date:

Method 1, Direct Question: Thursday night I'm going to a party. Would you like to go?

Method 2, Statement of Intent; Declarative Statement: "Thursday night I'm going to a party. Let me know if you'd like to join."

Both invitations request her to join you. But the second one, as a declarative statement does not place the same demand for an up/down answer ASAP. Rather it makes a statement of your intent and gives her a directive. If she wants to go she needs to speak up...or you're going without her.

I also concur that hot women will give out their number to get rid of you. I've done it before. Based on what you said it's not possible to read that part of the interaction but if you are anything like your texts IRL then you must think about whether or not that is happening.

Basically you need to say much less and be much more direct but also socially aware. You are still a stranger to the women you meet. Let her enjoy her family event without attempting to insert yourself prematurely into her life.

One final observation (and I'm telling you this stuff for your benefit and the benefit of anybody else who it might apply to):

You called this woman a "chick" and she corrected you to "woman". Until you know more about someone and their comfort level with nicknames, and vernacular, keep it on a more formal level. Would you call a colleague a "chick" in a meeting? No? Some women find that term to be a put down. You don't know whether or not she does until you step in doo doo like you did. You are trying to be too familiar too fast. Keep it on a more formal/professional level at first. As I noted previously you are still a stranger and you need to behave in a way that is classy and respectful if you want to maintain interest.

Otherwise you blow yourself out and you never get the meet up. She's DQ'd you.

Hope it helps.

 

[BeExcellent]

One final thought because I was typing as you were responding to other posts.

She soft rejected you twice IRL. I take that to mean she was not interested, but was being polite. You didn't read her cues and kept going like a bulldog to get her number. So she gave her number (so you'd quit bugging her? Hard to say.)

Women don't soft reject men they are interested in. So if she soft rejected you, I think your persistence may mean only that you go into the "well Captain55 can buy me a free dinner, since he insists, " bucket and thats ONLY if you are not annoying when you contact her.

You were annoying IMO, and likely blew it, but she was being polite in the first place, from what you've said.

It happens and you aren't going to win them all. It matters not how "hard" you had to game her to get the number. You can't gin up attraction. It's either there or it isn't. I get the sense that it isn't.

NEXT.

 

[sazc]

I just nexted a bumble guy because he insisted on calling me pet names "hottie" "sexy" etc. We had a great initial conversation, then the interaction tanked. I told him hearing these "pet names" from a complete stranger didn't sit well with me. He declared he understood, yet continued to do it.

Also, my girl friend was all set to start a FWB scenario with a long time family friend. He dropped an"outfit" off for her to wear for their first encounter, and then proceeded to text her all night long, asking her for pics, etc, even tho she clearly stated she was watching a movie with her kid, and would catch up with him later. He persisted. The final straw was when he asked her for a picture of her "cans". That was the nail in the coffin. The big turn off for her. They never initiated the FWB situation.

Choose your words wisely unless you really don't care.

Best bet right now? Do nothing. If she's interested she will reach out. After all, the text convo ended with you asking her a question. If she's interested she WILL reach out and answer the question, or just reach out.

For now, pursue other beeshes

 

[Red Legg]

I’m sucessfully closing numbers in places that are very hard to close numbers from. Pizza shops, malls, stores.

First of all OP these places are not hard at all to get numbers from.Secondly you are not enjoying and accepting failing and women who turn you down I see this as your main problem as I can tell you are an inexperienced at cold approaching.

 

[Trump]

If it was such a weak opening text why did she end up actually going out of her way to return my call three hours later the next day... on a Friday night none the less?

To see how desperate you are.

Remember men, alot of women don't really want to "connect" with you or "close the deal." They want to see how desperate you are, what you are about, what you have to offer, to make their position STRONGER with their current boyfriend.

And I disagree about an opening text asking a girl out on a date. Never works unless the chick is an easy slut, she approaches you, or if the meet up is for that night.

I've done it several times with girls who are not sluts, they haven't approached me, and the meet up wasn't the best. To each his own.

 

[captain55]

One final thought because I was typing as you were responding to other posts.

She soft rejected you twice IRL. I take that to mean she was not interested, but was being polite. You didn't read her cues and kept going like a bulldog to get her number. So she gave her number (so you'd quit bugging her? Hard to say.)

Women don't soft reject men they are interested in. So if she soft rejected you, I think your persistence may mean only that you go into the "well Captain55 can buy me a free dinner, since he insists, " bucket and thats ONLY if you are not annoying when you contact her.

You were annoying IMO, and likely blew it, but she was being polite in the first place, from what you've said.

It happens and you aren't going to win them all. It matters not how "hard" you had to game her to get the number. You can't gin up attraction. It's either there or it isn't. I get the sense that it isn't.

NEXT.

Brother do you think I was born yesterday?
1.I approached this chick because I saw her staring at me. She was with her friend and probably had a boyfriend/didn’t want to seem like a slut.
2. The only reason I tried a second and third time I because my friend and I caught her staring at me multiple times.

So I called her aside (away from the friend) and finally got the number.

Again one final question I ask you...if a girl wasn’t interested, why would she call me back?

You don’t think I’ve gotten numbers where the girl wasn’t interested? Of course. But In that case you get no response back after the initial text. I've had maybe one return text in some cases if it was immediately after the interaction, but most definitely not a call back the next day. NEVER.

 

[captain55]

To see how desperate you are.

Remember men, alot of women don't really want to "connect" with you or "close the deal." They want to see how desperate you are, what you are about, what you have to offer, to make their position STRONGER with their current boyfriend.



I've done it several times with girls who are not sluts, they haven't approached me, and the meet up wasn't the best. To each his own.

Your trying too hard. You forget who I am. One of the few members that has backed up his conquests with tons of pictures. My not so good text game because I usually do the bar/club scene has nothing to do with my ability to read a girls intitial interest. Also I am dealing with 8.5’s and 9’s out of LA exclusively....los angeles is a different breed my man. In new york I had two chicks one an 8 the other a 7 run up to me asking for a threesome my first week there. You can forget about that in Los Angeles, this is an extremely difficult pull. Lots of middle eastern women that are very closed off. I would say even more difficult than Miami..at least in Miami you have sexually open latinas...and even then miami is no cake walk.

In LA if you aren't jacked, good looking, or rich you can not even get your foot in the door with a 9 here. This is not new york where you have endless amounts of ***** to chose from where the girls are aggressive/open and don't play games. Everything I learned as a DJ flew out the window when I moved to LA...typical **** does not work here.

Now your telling me a 9 from LA nonetheless is going out of her way to call men to see how desperate they are? On a Friday night? My friend, a woman knows if a man is desperate or if he has other women after him based strictly on his looks and demeanor. You can argue with me until the cows come home on this one.

A more accurate answer would of been that a 9 goes out of her way to call men she's interested in to see which guys are players and which guys have money if she is looking for a relationship. Obviously if she's just looking to get ****ed it doesn't matter.

 

[Igetit!]

Brother do you think I was born yesterday?

I'm pretty sure that "BeExcellent" is A WOMAN......female.

So your question should be "Sister....do you think I was born yesterday?"

Just a little help there,Cap'N.