Monk Mode

[nicksaiz65]

Saw a really interesting article today. It was talking about how if you don't like yourself and you don't have a strong emotional base, game techniques will never work for you. Personally, I totally agree with this, and that's why I'm going monk mode to work on myself until further notice. No drugs, and minimal alcohol too. Thoughts?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If you are absolute garbage at life, then game will help, but only to an extent. What the article was saying was that in order to progress to a higher level where you don’t need to follow any of that stuff, then you need to have that strong emotional base, strong personality, confidence, etc. and also know how to take care of yourself physically (physical appearance including body language).

If you look at a lot of the older stuff on here from the early 2000s, you’ll see that a lot of guys used to say that you’ll notice a pattern amongst women, but that in the end, there is no real pattern. Some even higher will go so far as to say it’s really just you.

Basically, your actions to be congruent with your personality. Usually you want that to coincide with how you look on the outside as well. Anyway, what all that means is, how you act/behave needs to match your personality. That’s how many guys are able to get away with a lot of things while other guys can’t. I walked up to some hot chick in her 20s once upon a time, WAAAAAYYY out of my league lol. She was the first chick I ever cold approached too. I was 15 though, and a real c0cky SOB too, especially then. That’s just who I was. I liked talking to people, I liked doing stupid things lol, and it was just who I was. The thing is, I did it right in front of all of my family too. After I failed, I walked about 10 feet to her right and tried talking to her hotter coworker. My family gave no ****s whatsoever simply because it just seemed like it was the type of thing for me to do. Walking up and trying to talk to a random chick just seemed like the type of thing I would do, like “Oh I could totally see him doing that” type of thing. Well, this is what we call keeping your actions congruent with your personality. It needs to seem like something you would do.

In order to stay like this/not be a fake person, you need to have a strong personality, strong emotional base, high confidence, just be strong within yourself. That’s what the article was talking about (I assume anyway). Also, these reasons are why first impressions count so much. Because that is how you set the stage.

 

[wifehunter]

I spent +10 years in monk mode. It's a great way to learn about yourself and deprogram all the lies you've been fed by the world and those around you.

I spent most of my time:

1. lots of time for thinking and contemplation.

2. study - theology, science, music, general study.

3. writing music, sound design, and engineering.

4. online/offline gaming

5. working

Progessing in all areas helped with low confidence due to parental abuse/oppression.

"And a man's foes shall be they of his own household."

 

[PeasantPlayer]

10

I spent +10 years in monk mode. It's a great way to learn about yourself and deprogram all the lies you've been fed by the world and those around you.

I spent most of my time:

1. lots of time for thinking and contemplation.

2. study - theology, science, music, general study.

3. writing music, sound design, and engineering.

4. online/offline gaming

5. working

Progessing in all areas helped with low confidence due to parental abuse/oppression.

"And a man's foes shall be they of his own household."

10 years? wow how did you do it?

 

[wifehunter]

10

10 years? wow how did you do it?

I kept busy. Lots of interests.

After being burned by women, so many times...that, coupled with things 'just not working out'. It's easy to want to dissappear.

But, at the end of the day, the situation called for it. I gave up, on all women.

These days, I only give up on MOST women.

 

[Spaz]

I wish I can have 1 year free of women...

 

[Murk]

Not for me.

10 years seems obsessive and would do more harm than good.

Props to whoever wants to do this chit.

 

[guru1000]

I encourage the opposite of "Monk Mode." I encourage you to learn resilience, which, in a nutshell, is to get rejected and keep going.

"Monk Mode" is simply a rationalization to avoid repeated rejection under the guise of taking time for you, and has nothing to do with improving yourself as you can improve while also engaging women.

Rejection => Analyze => Learn ==> Try Again <==This ongoing process while you improve.

Not one characteristic serves you better in life (and women) than resilience. Practice it, learn it, internalize it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I did two years of monk mode after my divorce. I knew I was mad at women in general, and it was not fair or productive to take out my anger on the next girl. I grew a mountain man beard to keep the girls away. I also got my life together, new job, new house, got accepted into law school and got almost two years of the three done before I was distracted by a single vagina.

Throughout history, monks have been known for getting sh!t done. They were the intellectual elite, guardians of knowledge, and master craftsmen. They invented bock beer, several types of cheese and wine, and produced higher-quality goods than anyone else. They could do all of that, because they were not distracted by chasing women.

 

[guru1000]

BB, one fallacy there:

YOU > Your hormones
YOU> Your distractions
YOU> Your emotions
YOU> Negative thoughts

Those who learn to commit to certain behaviors/actions in spite of their hormones/distractions/emotions/negative thoughts are empowered beyond measure. This is the hallmark of success, specifically, not allowing these "encumbrances" to supersede your greater purpose. Monk Mode is not necessary to transcend. Learned Resiliency is.

Though, if you are angry (as you were) and cannot control your emotion, then taking a breather to calm down is warranted.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There is a difference between withdrawing voluntarily from something you can already do, versus making excuses for something that you have never been able to do. I think we could both agree with that.

Men get a lot more done when they don't spend time chasing women, and more importantly, material and shallow things to impress women. That life is like being a mouse running on a wheel. Being a monk would be like sitting back, watching that mouse, and philosophizing about it.

 

[guru1000]

There is a difference between withdrawing voluntarily from something you can already do, versus making excuses for something that you have never been able to do. I think we could both agree with that.

This is true to the extent that the intent of the act is greater than the act itself.

Men get a lot more done when they don't spend time chasing women, and more importantly, material and shallow things to impress women. That life is like being a mouse running on a wheel. Being a monk would be like sitting back, watching that mouse, and philosophizing about it.

Everything that I do to attract women serves me.

• Workout, diet, supplements make me healthier and look better (which I appreciate), happier with a positive mindset incited by the increased blood- and serotonin-flow, and provide increased energy through the day to serve my agenda;
• Disciplined work ethic, business and asset growth to incite wealth and status make me more comfortable with piece-of-mind, not worried about the future and should I want or have a family, their future;
• Rejection and challenges make me mentally stronger, more resilient, more appreciative with greater enjoyment of my successes.

Every action that I take to attract women improves my life significantly.

 

[Murk]

Feels good to run on the wheel though, man.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

I've been Monk Mode for f*cking years now (unless snogging occasionally counts), pretty much self-inflicted - first from personal insecurities, now out of choice. And yet despite some persistent work-inflicted depression, I've been fine.

I think the only downside of it is the sexual frustration - I feel insanely horny sometimes. But there's no-one in my life I want to bang anyway, so that's irrelevant. I'm a man, not some sort of rabid slavering beast, not banging is something that's fine if you have discipline.

Things like cutting the alcohol and any drugs are positive whether you're Monk Mode or not. Drugs are just another pollutant in your body, they make you weak and damage your self control over time. I'll permit myself a beer or cider on occasion to relax with, but I'm moderating that too because every beer is just 200 extra calories I need to burn off on a treadmill.

I started zero-fapping from a few days ago too, finding it tough if I'm honest combined with the Full Monk Mode...but I'm going to stick with it. For me it had become something that was leeching off my confidence and testosterone and pornography is a false replacement for sex. Again, it's something that makes you weak...and I'm not weak.

In the last few months I've been entering another further stage of Monk Mode where I'm feeling fully cool embracing it, horniness aside. I'm not a slave to chasing women or an LTR. Got time to do whatever the f*** I want, and I can't see how a woman would improve my life beyond being something soft to roll around in bed with.

In fact, whenever I start pursuing women that's when the BS, stress and hassle in my life increases exponentially. Whereas I feel most relaxed and in control when I'm alone, doing what I like doing.

If a woman I really like comes along great, if not I'm perfectly happy with that and I'm extracting satisfaction from realising that I don't need sex, alcohol or any of that s*** to feel good. I think that's the best state to be in.

- EDIT - With regards to Guru's advice...I agree. Get used to getting rejected too. But I've had that stage - I've had f*ckloads of rejection, and again I'm used to that. I don't care. Now I can go Monk Mode as a legit choice, because I've had that experience.

 

[Spaz]

There is a difference between withdrawing voluntarily from something you can already do, versus making excuses for something that you have never been able to do. I think we could both agree with that.

Men get a lot more done when they don't spend time chasing women, and more importantly, material and shallow things to impress women. That life is like being a mouse running on a wheel. Being a monk would be like sitting back, watching that mouse, and philosophizing about it.

I believe monk mode would be fundamentally good, not just from women but from anything connecting yourself to the material world.

Monk mode for a week or 2 would recharge and replenish your "soul".

 

[Red Legg]

No reason at ALL to go full monk mode...why you ask ? because you become rusty as hell...! plus how else are you fvckin going to learn ? with women you need hands on experience..

 

[Murk]

Don’t get used to life without women, that’s lazy and staying in your comfort zone. That’s not living. That’s an excuse.

 

[guru1000]

Taking a vacation (from work) a few weeks out of the year = Smart and well deserved for your hard work

Monk Mode from women for 5 -10 years = Not a choice

Don’t make your scarcity a virtue.

 

[Spaz]

I kept busy. Lots of interests.

After being burned by women, so many times...that, coupled with things 'just not working out'. It's easy to want to dissappear.

But, at the end of the day, the situation called for it. I gave up, on all women.

These days, I only give up on MOST women.

Too much emphasis is being put into women's actions, and going monk mode as a response seems radical.

Going monk mode because you just feel brain tired would make more sense.

I find that by being absent from the modern world and all its trappings really rejuvenating. Kind of like a holiday from work, from friends, family, from your comfort zone, etc. It works for me to zone out.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Don’t get used to life without women, that’s lazy and staying in your comfort zone. That’s not living. That’s an excuse.

I agree to an extent and disagree to an extent.

I've had maybe one "good" relationship in the last 5 years, it lasted 5 months rather intensely and then went to s***. When it went to s*** it made my professional life harder because I was hurting, it ruined my sleep and I've never felt so stressed. Didn't even f*ck the girl either, all that over a few months hanging out snogging someone I got on well with.

While not focusing on girls now is partly burying my head in the sand and letting time pass me by, at the same time I am in control of my professional life and I have much less risk that my mood will be dramatically altered one way or the other.

Relationships are just amplifiers. A bad relationship amplifies the s*** in your life, a good relationship amplifies the good stuff. If you're not happy with yourself and your life (and I'm not yet, I'm working on it) there is no point having that amplification...because if it proves bad, it's just making your life harder.

A lot of guys on here are getting laid so much it sounds like a second job to me. I don't know how they even deal with that level of stress and exertion on top of a job - personally I prefer going without when my work life has me this busy anyway.