How do most guys out of college in their 20s date nowadays??

[bigdave17]

this isn't really aimed at you guys because most guys here can cold approach and get dates. In real world, 95% of guys I know despise cold approaching and would have a 0.1% success rate if they did approach (which they don't). Online dating is not an option for 99% of men in their 20s either - you have to be a 6'3 white male model to get anything decent in their 20s online

So how do 23-30 year old guys do it? Are they just getting lucky through social circle or work?

You can't tell me that they're approaching women at bars and gyms and having success. The difficulty curve there is just insane. I go out to bars and I'm always one of the top 3 best looking/most fit/athletic and best dressed men in the place (many times THEE best) and none of the women there in their 20s want anything to do with me. I can't imagine how hard it would be to approach those ladies as an average chubby dude with terrible fashion sense. Same thing at the gym- I'm usually one of the top 4 or 5 best looking men there and the girls would immediately turn me down if I asked them out - no doubt about it really.

Dating is weird though- 23 to 30 and its an insane difficulty curve with the women having completely impossible standards. Once you get to mid to late 30s, the women are very easy - I know attractive, classy 38 year old woman with good jobs dating total bums. The 24 year old version of that is holding out for Brad Pitt in his prime. What causes this dichotomy?

 

[Glassguy]

Oh look. More negativity from the OP and blaming women instead of doing what Dave should be doing to get better with women.

Shocker.

 

[bigdave17]

Oh look. More negativity from the OP and blaming women instead of doing what Dave should be doing to get better with women.

Shocker.

doing what I should be doing to get better? lol dude all people tell me is self improve yourself, have a fun active lifestyle and dating comes naturally. Well I'm a completely obsessive self improver and I have a phenomenal lifestyle - I vacation 6 to 10 times a year for example and dating is still impossible. Whenever I approach cute women my age, they run away from me. I do routinely have older women aggressively and desperately pursue me but that's totally worthless

but anyways, this thread is not about that. I'm genuinely very curious how most guys my age are able to have dating lives- I know it's not cold approaching or online dating. 95% of guys are horrified of cold approaching and 99.9% of men don't have the perfect male model looks required to get a 6/10 25 year old online

You take out those 2 options, what else is there? Is every one getting lucky through friends

 

[RichardTheFrog]

But you DO have the male model looks, right?

Do you get matches on Tinder? Why don't you try and tell us how it goes.

 

[bigdave17]

But you DO have the male model looks, right?

Do you get matches on Tinder? Why don't you try and tell us how it goes.

dude I showed you a picture of me. I'm a 7 to 8/10 real life standards...probably top 5 top 10 percentile of men in pure facial appearance. My body and fashion sense are 10/10 but that's not nearly as important

women on dating sites want a top 0.01 percentile 10/10, not a measly 7 in facial appearance.

I tried online dating 7 years ago with horrific results. I'm not gonna bash my brains again and get rejected a billion times to cripple what's left of my self esteem

 

[Glassguy]

doing what I should be doing to get better? lol dude all people tell me is self improve yourself, have a fun active lifestyle and dating comes naturally. Well I'm a completely obsessive self improver and I have a phenomenal lifestyle - I vacation 6 to 10 times a year for example and dating is still impossible. Whenever I approach cute women my age, they run away from me. I do routinely have older women aggressively and desperately pursue me but that's totally worthless

but anyways, this thread is not about that. I'm genuinely very curious how most guys my age are able to have dating lives- I know it's not cold approaching or online dating. 95% of guys are horrified of cold approaching and 99.9% of men don't have the perfect male model looks required to get a 6/10 25 year old online

You take out those 2 options, what else is there? Is every one getting lucky through friends

What do you do in the car sales business when the weather is poor and nobody is walking through the door? What you fvcking have to for sales.....thats what you do.

Cold calling, calling up old leads, etc etc.

Just. Do. Something. Its better than not doing anything.

Dont like cold approaching? Then dont do it, but dont b!tch about it either. Truth is you dont do it, so you dont know how EASY it actually is.

95% of those guys who are scared to cold approach miss out. I am in the 5% that can do it correctly because it doesnt phase me to approach a chick, strike up a quick convo through something I notice about her (not showering her with compliments) and then have to run but tell her that I would like to continue talking to her later and grab her number. Text her later and invite her for a drink and pick the good vibes and convo back up. Its not hard. You are just lazy.

Last week at the gym a blonde was working out by herself and had a really pretty hair color. I waited until I was done lifting and on my way out and I walked up to her and said (smiling) "you have a very attractive hair color....just an observation and a compliment".

Of course she smiled, told me thank you, I asked her what her name was and when she asked ME for my name (buying sign), I told her that I was done at the gym and had to run, but "I will put my number in your phone and we can pick this up later when I have more time". Whalla.

Its NOT hard.

 

[bigdave17]

What do you do in the car sales business when the weather is poor and nobody is walking through the door? What you fvcking have to for sales.....thats what you do.

Cold calling, calling up old leads, etc etc.

Just. Do. Something. Its better than not doing anything.

Dont like cold approaching? Then dont do it, but dont b!tch about it either. Truth is you dont do it, so you dont know how EASY it actually is.

95% of those guys who are scared to cold approach miss out. I am in the 5% that can do it correctly because it doesnt phase me to approach a chick, strike up a quick convo through something I notice about her (not showering her with compliments) and then have to run but tell her that I would like to continue talking to her later and grab her number. Text her later and invite her for a drink and pick the good vibes and convo back up. Its not hard. You are just lazy.

you didn't mention the part here where you likely do this with a 1000 women to get 1 date. It's good for you that endless nonstop rejection doesn't demoralize you but for most men, it's very demoralizing

Anyways, I'm not talking about you. Vast vast majority of men find the cold approaching to be impossible (for a good reason) and they're nowhere near the super Chad you have to be for a 5.5/10 to give you a chance on dating sites. So how do most guys find someone to date? Are they all just getting lucky through friends??

 

[fanatic22]

Well, ignoring the whinier themes of this thread...

I’m still getting girls post college but its definitely a different world. I’ve adapted somewhat but I think the issue is that in college you meet both social and less social girls. The less social girls were more interested in relationships and less daunting to approach.

Social girls are used to attention and enjoy being chased by men. They are interested in getting drunk with friends, not entering a serious relationship. The never ending male attention leads to a complete lack of urgency. I have a greater success rate getting laid the night I meet them than I do taking them out for a date the next week. (This is the main thing I’m working on.)

The less social hot girls may still get hit on all the time but they find it less fulfilling than a relationship. You have to be super lucky to get these girls post college because more times than not, having them in your life is mostly luck - UNLESS you’re cold approaching constantly, which most guys basically never do.

So, how do non-PUAs make it? They either meet girls through mutual friends, at work, at clubs, or get lucky on a dating app. It probably takes years to find a girl they like. I know guys who go back to grad school just to meet girls easily again. All of my friends who currently have gfs met them in college. So yeah, they dont have a wide selection. My friends who became single are now dating girls noticeably less attractive than they had in college and are very frustrated about the situation.

You’ll never have college back but it’s still totally possible to have that level of success if you have game. Plus if you don’t make women your only goal in life you’ll probably find it easier to end up with one.

 

[bigdave17]

Well, ignoring the whinier themes of this thread...

I’m still getting girls post college but its definitely a different world. I’ve adapted somewhat but I think the issue is that in college you meet both social and less social girls. The less social girls were more interested in relationships and less daunting to approach.

Social girls are used to attention and enjoy being chased by men. They are interested in getting drunk with friends, not entering a serious relationship. The never ending male attention leads to a complete lack of urgency. I have a greater success rate getting laid the night I meet them than I do taking them out for a date the next week. (This is the main thing I’m working on.)

The less social hot girls may still get hit on all the time but they find it less fulfilling than a relationship. You have to be super lucky to get these girls post college because more times than not, having them in your life is mostly luck - UNLESS you’re cold approaching constantly, which most guys basically never do.

So, how do non-PUAs make it? They either meet girls through mutual friends, at work, at clubs, or get lucky on a dating app. It probably takes years to find a girl they like. I know guys who go back to grad school just to meet girls easily again. All of my friends who currently have gfs met them in college. So yeah, they dont have a wide selection. My friends who became single are now dating girls noticeably less attractive than they had in college and are very frustrated about the situation.

You’ll never have college back but it’s still totally possible to have that level of success if you have game. Plus if you don’t make women your only goal in life you’ll probably find it easier to end up with one.

you guys talk about this game nonsense as if it's the #1 thing with cold approaching

the number one thing with cold approaching is being ok getting rejected constantly for that 1 in a 1000 yes

otherwise your post is very good and pretty accurate in terms of how horrible dating is post college

 

[fanatic22]

Coming off as fun and sociable and then giving off the perception of being high value is a learned skill. If I found this forum sooner I’d have kept some of the girls I slept with post college rather than acting like a needy b1tch and losing them. My cold approach hit rate is at worst 1 in 10 for a number close, and thats if I wait for zero IOIs...

 

[RichardTheFrog]

dude I showed you a picture of me. I'm a 7 to 8/10 real life standards...probably top 5 top 10 percentile of men in pure facial appearance. My body and fashion sense are 10/10 but that's not nearly as important

women on dating sites want a top 0.01 percentile 10/10, not a measly 7 in facial appearance.

I tried online dating 7 years ago with horrific results. I'm not gonna bash my brains again and get rejected a billion times to cripple what's left of my self esteem

If you're top 5-10%, that makes you at least a 9.

Fvck 7 years ago. Try now.

I've went on Tinder posing as male models and even they get turned down at least 20 times to every 1 match.

 

[bigdave17]

Coming off as fun and sociable and then giving off the perception of being high value is a learned skill. If I found this forum sooner I’d have kept some of the girls I slept with post college rather than acting like a needy b1tch and losing them. My cold approach hit rate is at worst 1 in 10 for a number close, and thats if I wait for zero IOIs...

if you can't keep a girl after banging her, your looks/game/personality/sex skills must be completely horrific

99% of a challenge of dating is getting a woman to be interested in you. After they are interested, you just have to act normal and they will fall in love with you

probably 90% of the women I've been on dates with wanted to be with me forever, the challenge has been none of them were anywhere near my league... none of them were even a 6/10 and in their 20s. Decent looking women in their 20s nowadays have obscene standards.

 

[bigdave17]

If you're top 5-10%, that makes you at least a 9.

Fvck 7 years ago. Try now.

I've went on Tinder posing as male models and even they get turned down at least 20 times to every 1 match.

attractiveness is a bell curve. True 9 to 10s are top 0.001% of society. Most people are 3s to 6s

If you posed as a male model and got rejected 19 out of 20 times, think about what happens for average good looking men like me? I would be getting rejected 9999999 out of 10000000000 times

 

[RichardTheFrog]

attractiveness is a bell curve. True 9 to 10s are top 0.001% of society. Most people are 3s to 6s

If you posed as a male model and got rejected 19 out of 20 times, think about what happens for average good looking men like me? I would be getting rejected 9999999 out of 10000000000 times

So you won't even try? Then there's no point in you being here. Get on Tinder until you get a match. Shouldn't be difficult. Pay for premium so you have unlimited likes.

 

[bigdave17]

So you won't even try? Then there's no point in you being here. Get on Tinder until you get a match. Shouldn't be difficult. Pay for premium so you have unlimited likes.

I wouldn't do tinder anyways - I need to be able to filter based on if they have kids, smoke, what job they have, what hobbies they have, etc...

I would probably do match and I can guarantee you even with my 7 to 8/10 looks and 150k+ income, I still wouldn't get any replies from anybody halfway decent

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I wouldn't do tinder anyways - I need to be able to filter based on if they have kids, smoke, what job they have, what hobbies they have, etc...

I would probably do match and I can guarantee you even with my 7 to 8/10 looks and 150k+ income, I still wouldn't get any replies from anybody halfway decent

Oh well.

Maybe OLD is just full of ugly girls?

 

[bigdave17]

Oh well.

Maybe OLD is just full of ugly girls?

It's not

-It's full of female 6s who want male 10s
-7s who want 10s
-8-10s who are just there to attention wh-ore and have no real interest in meeting anybody
-a few occasional 8-10s who want to meet a man as long as he's a celebrity or professional athlete

 

[Trump]

Once you get to mid to late 30s, the women are very easy - I know attractive, classy 38 year old woman with good jobs dating total bums. The 24 year old version of that is holding out for Brad Pitt in his prime. What causes this dichotomy?

That's funny. Once you get to mid to late 30s, the woman are very hard - I know ugly, unclassy 37 year old woman with no jobs dating multimillionaires. The 24 version of that is dating total bums. Now what causes that dichotomy?

 

[bigdave17]

That's funny. Once you get to mid to late 30s, the woman are very hard - I know ugly, unclassy 37 year old woman with no jobs dating multimillionaires. The 24 version of that is dating total bums. Now what causes that dichotomy?

40s+ women being difficult? lmao

I know a chick over 40 who makes 250K as a finance director, super super nice person, smart and funny and she is seeing my buddy who is bald, chubby and totally broke

she is decent looking - much better than him

 

[btownbuck2012]

I wouldn't do tinder anyways - I need to be able to filter based on if they have kids, smoke, what job they have, what hobbies they have, etc...

I would probably do match and I can guarantee you even with my 7 to 8/10 looks and 150k+ income, I still wouldn't get any replies from anybody halfway decent

Lol your income is always changing in your posts. One day you make close to 200K, the next 150K, same thing with your looks. One day you're a9/10 the next a 7/8 outta 10.