Am I one of the few guys who wants a relationship only and doesn't care about getting strictly laid?

[bigdave17]

I dunno why I feel this way but the idea of casual sex with multiple women has never had any appeal to me. I would much rather just have an awesome GF who would be like my best friend that I also have sex with


I still have a great sex drive - I masturbate all the time and I would like to have sex 5-8 times a week if I had a GF. I also am not desperate to get in a relationship - I'm only willing to get in 1 if she is a great/close to perfect fit for what I want. I basically want a GF who will be somewhat comparable to the awesome male close friends I have right now in terms of the quality of the companionship (I know it won't be as good but I want it to be somewhat close).


Is this strange you guys?

 

[skinnyguy]

It’s not strange but you think you deserve a girl who’s too good for you

 

[bigdave17]

It’s not strange but you think you deserve a girl who’s too good for you

based on what? I'm at least a 7 strictly on looks on a very conservative scale... probably closer to an 8 and I'm in the top 1 percentile of men for success/being established/quality of lifestyle/social circle/etc...


I make 170K a year and I would be ecstatic to date a girl making 60

 

[exhausted]

There's nothing wrong with that.
Some men are more prone to dealing with an ltr than the constant game of chasing girls for quick lays which becomes exhausting at some point

Just keep living a positive life daily and things will work out eventually.

Put yourself in better scenarios as well. The club isn't the place to find a quality ltr.
Church.
Art gallery.
Grocery store. Ya i know but women hit the grocery store after the gym a few times a week.

 

[marmel75]

You basically want to skip steps 1-5 and get to step 6. It doesnt work like that.

We keep telling you the same thing over and over and you keep posting the same whack ass sh!t over and over.

Either take the advice or don't but stop posting the same questions 50 different ways.

 

[fastlife]

Exactly the reason you don't have either

 

[bigdave17]

Exactly the reason you don't have either

this is not on purpose or me trying to fit into society's norms


I just genuinely have zero interest in sexing multiple women or casual sex in any form

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I dunno why I feel this way but the idea of casual sex with multiple women has never had any appeal to me.

So if a different hottie showed up to your place ready to go, each night, you'd turn them away?

Or does lots of sex with different women only lose its appeal when it's not easy to get?

 

[fastlife]

this is not on purpose or me trying to fit into society's norms


I just genuinely have zero interest in sexing multiple women or casual sex in any form

I can relate--I think around the time I first joined you can find a thread about me complaining about how spinning plates was boring or something. I really thought I was 'naturally monogamous.'

But the truth is, your brain/ego is wired to desire things it thinks of as realistically attainable. A girlfriend seems like a realistic expectation--don't have to rock the societal boat, don't have to deal with (a lot of) rejection, only have to spend moderate amounts of energy to find her. Of course, you're a great guy & you deserve to find your female equivalent who values you just the way you are and isn't like those other girls. You deserve that, right?

But you know what attracts that girlfriend? The same thing that attracts all the other girls. And the problem is when you really do have all the other girls, then you won't even want a girlfriend. Go ahead and put in the hard work learning how to meet, attract & sleep with top-shelf women and then you can tell me you don't like casual sex.

 

[bigdave17]

I can relate--I think around the time I first joined you can find a thread about me complaining about how spinning plates was boring or something. I really thought I was 'naturally monogamous.'

But the truth is, your brain/ego is wired to desire things it thinks of as realistically attainable. A girlfriend seems like a realistic expectation--don't have to rock the societal boat, don't have to deal with (a lot of) rejection, only have to spend moderate amounts of energy to find her. Of course, you're a great guy & you deserve to find your female equivalent who values you just the way you are and isn't like those other girls. You deserve that, right?

But you know what attracts that girlfriend? The same thing that attracts all the other girls. And the problem is when you really do have all the other girls, then you won't even want a girlfriend. Go ahead and put in the hard work learning how to meet, attract & sleep with top-shelf women and then you can tell me you don't like casual sex.

When I go out for example and I come across a very slutty but decently attractive girl with a nice body who I could probably have sex with if I put in some work, I really have zero desire to do it

She is not even attractive to me because I only want somebody who is very classy, kinda conservative, would only want to have sex with me after 2-4 dates, etc...

 

[bigdave17]

So if a different hottie showed up to your place ready to go, each night, you'd turn them away?

Or does lots of sex with different women only lose its appeal when it's not easy to get?

in 2015, I had sex with 3 women in about a 3 month period (this is a huge number for me, keep in mind I've been a monster failure in dating) - 1 was a very attractive 40+ MILF, 1 was a slutty/trashy 23 year old but she had a really nice body with a huge ass, 1 was a slightly chunky 22 year old but she was decent looking also

Did nothing for me whatsoever beyond craving the real thing (relationship with a super high quality girl in my league)

 

[Dash Riprock]

BigDave,

There's nothing wrong with wanting a full-time gf. If you find a good one, there are many benefits that spinning plates will never offer. Why don't you try a matchmaking service like It's Just Lunch. The women in the program are all looking for relationships like you. IJL vets all their members too. You have to have $$ to play, but this eliminates all the low-class loser chicks you'd meet in bars or online.

If you really want to meet a girl who wants a relationship, this is your best bet.

 

[bigdave17]

BigDave,

There's nothing wrong with wanting a full-time gf. If you find a good one, there are many benefits that spinning plates will never offer. Why don't you try a matchmaking service like It's Just Lunch. The women in the program are all looking for relationships like you. IJL vets all their members too. You have to have $$ to play, but this eliminates all the low-class loser chicks you'd meet in bars or online.

If you really want to meet a girl who wants a relationship, this is your best bet.

how many girls around 21-27 are going to be able to afford a matchmaking service?

I can easily afford it but most women my age are lucky if they're making 50K. Those services are probably for people in their late 30s - 60s. Most younger girls have no interest in paying for that

 

[corrector]

in 2015, I had sex with 3 women in about a 3 month period (this is a huge number for me, keep in mind I've been a monster failure in dating) - 1 was a very attractive 40+ MILF, 1 was a slutty/trashy 23 year old but she had a really nice body with a huge ass, 1 was a slightly chunky 22 year old but she was decent looking also

Did nothing for me whatsoever beyond craving the real thing (relationship with a super high quality girl in my league)

....if it did nothing for you, then suppose you do get what you want, and there is a break-up afterwards, then how would you handle that? I mean the way you sound, such a girl would have absolute power in a relationship since you are replaceable to her while you'll have a severe oneitis problem where you can't afford to lose her while she has options. Once the honeymoon phase of the relationship wears off and other options she has starts looking brighter then you'll have to put up with any B.S. she throws at you because you have no walk-away power. Is that what you really want?

 

[Dash Riprock]

how many girls around 21-27 are going to be able to afford a matchmaking service?

I can easily afford it but most women my age are lucky if they're making 50K. Those services are probably for people in their late 30s - 60s. Most younger girls have no interest in paying for that

You could set up a meeting with IJL and just ask. Also, it wouldn't surprise me if parents would pay for such a service for their daughters so they wouldn't have to meet guys online and in bars. My guess is there are quite a few professional women in the 25+ year old category with IJL.

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm sorry, but this is a ridiculous premises. A man does not get into a "relationship" for the "relationship" part, but for the physical intimacy part - and any non-intimacy period is tolerated to allow the woman the time to get to that point. For men, the emotion of *romantic* love is based on the fact that there is a regular intimacy object under control; take away that intimacy and the edifice collapses.

Now all that said, the *quality* of the intimacy can have a component that is attributable to the fidelity of the partner - which is evolutionary positive since "mother's baby, father's maybe" and the seriousness of the "babies & blisters" aspect of sexuality.

 

[Igetit!]

I basically want a GF who will be somewhat comparable to the awesome male close friends I have right now in terms of the quality of the companionship (I know it won't be as good but I want it to be somewhat close).


Is this strange you guys?

YES.

 

[MatureDJ]

how many girls around 21-27 are going to be able to afford a matchmaking service?

The better question to ask is why an otherwise decently attractive woman of that age even feels the need to use such a service.

 

[bigdave17]

The better question to ask is why an otherwise decently attractive woman of that age even feels the need to use such a service.

very true

 

[bigdave17]

I'm sorry, but this is a ridiculous premises. A man does not get into a "relationship" for the "relationship" part, but for the physical intimacy part - and any non-intimacy period is tolerated to allow the woman the time to get to that point. For men, the emotion of *romantic* love is based on the fact that there is a regular intimacy object under control; take away that intimacy and the edifice collapses.

Now all that said, the *quality* of the intimacy can have a component that is attributable to the fidelity of the partner - which is evolutionary positive since "mother's baby, father's maybe" and the seriousness of the "babies & blisters" aspect of sexuality.

listen man, I love sex as much as the next guy but I don't want a relationship that's built around only that. I want a GF who will be super cool/fun to hang out with outside of sex