Making yourself believe you are the prize has gotta be the #1 priority for "inner game"

[bigdave17]

I just realized this - even despite my immense success in all aspects of my life - I have never been able to convince myself that I'm the real prize when it comes to dating and women. I've had women so high up on the pedestal and their standards so extremely exaggerated to where I never really felt like a woman was lucky for me to approach her and not giving a **** if she didn't like me. I just always felt like women wanted a man who was beyond impossibly perfect and never appreciated what I had to offer.


This is true 100% confidence/rock solid self esteem and has got to be the #1 step to going from a loser to a winner with the women

 

[El Payaso]

You also have to be the prize.

 

[exhausted]

Well today's women didn't get this memo instead they are entitled spoiled brats who think they are princesses. This is why they don't do chit, they don't cook or give just take and sit around on fb.

 

[lizardking82]

@El Payaso took that out of my hands. I wanted to say this, it is not about believing you are the prize, it is about being the prize and not for the women, but because being the prize feels ****ing good.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I don’t like the whole ‘she is lucky that I approached her’ type attitude because it stems from ego rather than true self confidence, which means weakness. You should just feel good about yourself when you do that kind of stuff because you ARE the fvcking sh!t lol.

 

[BeExcellent]

I just realized this - even despite my immense success in all aspects of my life - I have never been able to convince myself that I'm the real prize when it comes to dating and women. I've had women so high up on the pedestal and their standards so extremely exaggerated to where I never really felt like a woman was lucky for me to approach her and not giving a **** if she didn't like me. I just always felt like women wanted a man who was beyond impossibly perfect and never appreciated what I had to offer.


This is true 100% confidence/rock solid self esteem and has got to be the #1 step to going from a loser to a winner with the women

This attitude within yourself is the thing that holds you back. Good on you for your willingness to get real with yourself & examine it.

You have to love yourself and tell yourself "I am enough". "I am worthy"....and at first you will have negative self talk that doesn't want to accept those beliefs. You have to reinforce those new beliefs (I am enough; I am worthy) every day and when you reinforce them mentally, smile and know you are awesomely made. Tell yourself each day in front of a mirror. While shaving...in your car...whatever.

Over time you'll start to transform your inner dialogue which will in turn transform your outer presentation in a subtle but important way. You'll relax more socially, you'll become more amused and less result oriented about the things going on around you, and you'll become more positive and more engaging because of what YOU think about you.

Give yourself 30 days and tell us what happens after really working on your self belief and attitude. You are worthy. You are enough. Embrace that truth & let it transform you.

Cheers -BE

 

[Urbanyst]

Refuse to date women who don't show a high level of interest.

Chasing women who are lukewarm is bad for the soul. I prefer a stage 5 clinger over a lukewarm woman. At least you know where the stage 5 clinger stands and you kind ride that ass for a long time before she gets too crazy to keep around lol.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Belief in yourself takes just as long to build as muscles or endurance. It's not something that can be faked.

The only way to build in a genuine belief that "women are lucky to be with me" is ONLY date women who genuinely feel lucky to be with you.

SLOWLY increase the "quality" of women. Since most dudes WAY OVERESTIMATE their own value, the only way to GENUINELY build this is to date women WAY below your level of desire.

You need to build in MASSIVE amounts of experience of women feeling LUCKY to be with you, and SAD when they are no longer with you.

Since most guys (and most girls) have a sense of ENTITLEMENT, they are unwilling to beneath which that which they think they DESERVE.

To TRULY build in the genuine idea that you are the "prize" you have to BE the prize to as many women (and other people) as possible.

This means sending yourself down to single A ball and dating old fatties for a while.

 

[jaymbrs]

Refuse to date women who don't show a high level of interest.

Chasing women who are lukewarm is bad for the soul. I prefer a stage 5 clinger over a lukewarm woman. At least you know where the stage 5 clinger stands and you kind ride that ass for a long time before she gets too crazy to keep around lol.

Ha! I'm like this too but I typically don't take those seriously and I'm getting up there in age. Need to find a happy medium.

 

[jaymbrs]

It's an ongoing battle with girls over who is the prize in the relationship. I asked myself the question of whether I would rather be the prize or her because I have been the prize in a few relationships and ultimately lost interest in them because I had the dominant hand and it made them seem insecure, which is a turn off for me.

 

[Young OG]

A guy can believe he is the prize all he wants, but if he's fat, bald, and lives in his mom's basement then he's far from the prize.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Make $1 million flipping houses with your bare hands.

Then you might be a prize.

There has to be something real behind it. You can't fake value just like you can't fake abundance.

I am not saying that you don't have value because I don't know you. I am just saying you can't fake it.

 

[bigdave17]

A guy can believe he is the prize all he wants, but if he's fat, bald, and lives in his mom's basement then he's far from the prize.

and yet someone like myself who is everything across the board - handsome, fit, stylish, has been making 100-180K a year since the age of 23, great social circle and lifestyle can still have zero dating success if he doesn't believe in himself

I'm perfect example of that

 

[Young OG]

and yet someone like myself who is everything across the board - handsome, fit, stylish, has been making 100-180K a year since the age of 23, great social circle and lifestyle can still have zero dating success if he doesn't believe in himself

I'm perfect example of that

Then your either not as attractive as you think you are, your personality sucks, you come across as weird, or something else. You must have some kind of sticking point you aren't seeing. How many numbers have you got this year? If you can count them on both hands then your not gaming enough. You might not be putting in enough effort.

 

[Von]

You are the prize, always.. when she holds the prize... you just need something to back it up.

You have to be real.

Do stuff that improve you at all level, stay modest and genuine... I think it will get you somewhere... and yes.. it's not an overnight success story... it's like pickup/game... you start slow, take space and speed, you'll get results slowly than more consistently and eventually you on auto pilot - cruise mode.

It's all about how you can exteriorize what's inside of you (be in shape, be healthy, be confident, be calm inside)

 

[Bible_Belt]

Self-esteem is a complex thing. It has a lot to do with your childhood, parents, and other early role models in life and how they treated you. And no one chooses those things. Life deals everyone a different hand. So if you have issues with your own self-worth, then delve into that and the root causes. These are much larger issues than your dating life, but when you begin to get them under better control, you will find yourself doing better in all of your relationships.

 

[nismo-4]

Saying you're the prize when you're anything but that is so outdated, it was never indated! Considering all these social media apps these days, you've gotta prove yourself.

Try actually being the prize. Any jackass can say I'm the prize, but saying it without any substance to fall back on is just asinine.

We can't just say we're the prize while we're playing Xbox and watching football for 8 hours a day and we'll have the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders sucking our dix while begging for a LTR a month later.

Fake it till you make it can only go so far.

 

[Mike32ct]

We’ve all heard about these phrases and/or mindsets. See below.

1. I’m the prize.
2. I have an abundance mentality.
3. It’s her loss.

Here’s my problem with the above. It’s typically unnecessary for high value guys* because it goes without saying, and/or it’s not something that they consciously even think about. And for most other (regular) guys, it’s just “cope.”

Yes a guy absolutely should improve himself to the max. And even then, she is either attracted or she isn’t. I don’t think she really cares if the guy believes the above phrases or not.

*If I asked my Chad buddy if he has an “abundance mindset” or considered himself “the prize,” he would look at me like I have three heads lol.

 

[bigdave17]

We’ve all heard about these phrases and/or mindsets. See below.

1. I’m the prize.
2. I have an abundance mentality.
3. It’s her loss.

Here’s my problem with the above. It’s typically unnecessary for high value guys* because it goes without saying, and/or it’s not something that they consciously even think about. And for most other (regular) guys, it’s just “cope.”

Yes a guy absolutely should improve himself to the max. And even then, she is either attracted or she isn’t. I don’t think she really cares if the guy believes the above phrases or not.

*If I asked my Chad buddy if he has an “abundance mindset” or considered himself “the prize,” he would look at me like I have three heads lol.

what about a guy like me who has absolutely everything going for him and has still never had any dating success?

 

[Mike32ct]

what about a guy like me who has absolutely everything going for him and has still never had any dating success?

Fair question. Without knowing you, it hard to say exactly what the issue is. Just brainstorming here...

You may be attractive and a great dresser, but perhaps you look too “clean cut?” This is a VERY common problem with guys, and one symptom of this is when the guy can attract some older women, but not younger. Strangely enough, dressing exceptionally stylish can actually make this problem worse*.

You actually might want to try dressing down to look more badazz. Older women and gay guys might love your style, but it may be overkill in the view of younger women. Aim for something more athletic or “rough” construction worker-ish than GQ-ish. Honestly, a ripped guy like you might do better in a nice t-shirt than a $300 button-down.

Once you are dating a chick, you can probably dress GQ sometimes, but for initial attraction, maybe consider something more more rough/casual/athletic or badazz.

*I’m also a straight dude who loves fashion. But it’s a special “niche” that only certain people appreciate.