How to deal with insecurities over looks?

[RichardTheFrog]

I was on Badoo and asked this girl (4/10) if she wanted to go out. She said no thanks. I was in a sh1tty mood and I asked her why not? I didn't get a response so I started calling her fat because she is. She's not obese but she's overweight. Then she texted back like 18 hours later and said "you're so handsome," and I said "I know," and said I didn't want to go out, but just to fvck.

She said I had a big nose and should find some black girl. So I told her that she's ugly even with 10 pounds of makeup on.

Point is, now I have an insecurity about my nose. Just last week, a plastic surgeon said I had a very masculine nose and both female plastic surgeons I went to said they don't suggest changing anything.

Perhaps girls are thinking bad things about my looks every time I encounter them, and obviously they wouldn't tell me to my face.

Perhaps I am just not good looking enough to date? I don't understand this because I was always called handsome and even hot growing up and have been called that hundreds of times.

This is me right now. I usually shave the mustache so pretend it's not there.

I was recently given advice on this forum of how to improve my looks, but surgeons advised against it and I think it just would have made me look silly and probably not helped.

 

[Murk]

Ban him.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

And to make matters worse, I think I've been turned down about 300 times in a row without a single match on Tinder. And I'm not getting any younger.

Now you see why I go on Seeking Arrangement? So I can have sex with hot girls.

Edit: Someone finally viewed my profile on Badoo. A fat girl who watches TV all day. But apparently she didn't find me attractive enough to respond to a message. I think the world is upside down.

I'm liking girls that I don't even find attractive just in hopes of someone liking me back. This is fvcked up. I should be the one doing the choosing here because I am the one with value.

Perhaps someone will match me after 3 months of continuous swiping. And she will be a fat girl. Will she let me have sex with her? Would I even want to? Would it be as fun as the threesome I had with those 2 hot girls? Definitely not.

I actually got more matches posing as this fat guy just for a joke...

 

[Fzatf]

I was on Badoo and asked this girl (4/10) if she wanted to go out. She said no thanks. I was in a sh1tty mood and I asked her why not? I didn't get a response so I started calling her fat because she is. She's not obese but she's overweight. Then she texted back like 18 hours later and said "you're so handsome," and I said "I know," and said I didn't want to go out, but just to fvck.

She said I had a big nose and should find some black girl. So I told her that she's ugly even with 10 pounds of makeup on.

Point is, now I have an insecurity about my nose. Just last week, a plastic surgeon said I had a very masculine nose and both female plastic surgeons I went to said they don't suggest changing anything.

Perhaps girls are thinking bad things about my looks every time I encounter them, and obviously they wouldn't tell me to my face.

Perhaps I am just not good looking enough to date? I don't understand this because I was always called handsome and even hot growing up and have been called that hundreds of times.

This is me right now. I usually shave the mustache so pretend it's not there.

I was recently given advice on this forum of how to improve my looks, but surgeons advised against it and I think it just would have made me look silly and probably not helped.

Your looks are fine. It's your attitude that needs fixing. Your eyes in this picture don't look happy. Frankly you look miserable. Your other photo you posted on here had very serious eyes. You don't look like you would be fun to hang out with. You need to fix your attitude and it will naturally show in your face. At least learn how to take better photos with a better look on your face and you'll get less rejection.

 

[Spinach]

Being way older than you are and with a background in medical practice, I offer this in a most positive and serious way. You need mental health intervention before you do something harmful to yourself or others. Why would you want to go through life being as miserable as you relate to be? Please, listen to others seek professional help ASAP.

 

[byers90]

You get the **** over it after realizing that's the hand you've been dealt and people have overcome much worse in order to get someone.

 

[doctor1996]

First of all, how are you a master Don Juan if you haven't gotten with anyone.

Second of all, take a normal picture and smile.

Third, shave the hitler stash, and I think you'll look fine.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

First of all, how are you a master Don Juan if you haven't gotten with anyone.

Second of all, take a normal picture and smile.

Third, shave the hitler stash, and I think you'll look fine.

I'm actually in the process of laser facial hair removal.

Apparently, my looks are fine and I needed better intros, but also a professional photographer and nicer clothes.

 

[Glassguy]

Ban him.

I will second that motion.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Any member who breaks the rules consistently gets warned and banned. In the meantime if you don't like a member, I advise using the ignore button and also refrain from participating in that member's threads. The ignore button can be found on each member's profile.

@RichardTheFrog , come on, dude, you know full well that is not a flattering picture of you. These phone cameras have a very wide lens and they distort the face so close up. I have always had a serious looking face too, until recently. You need to soften up your look and to look more approachable. If I was a woman and saw this pic I'd be scared sh!tless of you. Not because of your innate looks, but because of your expression.

Have a professional take a bunch of pictures and you will find a few that look good. You've got to realize that some people look fine in real life but just don't look good in 2 dimensions. This is the worst picture I've seen of you. You need to get off the idea that your looks matter so much (your looks are fine) and concentrate more on your attitudes and how you project yourself. A photographer will joke around with you and get you to relax, and that's what you need to convey in your photos.

I think you said elsewhere you have money. You need to get some counseling. All the stuff you share here should be shared with a flesh and blood MALE counselor.

 

[guru1000]

Richard, what you did the other day on Tinder was great. You got the girls' numbers, and asked for the date. This is everything. And you did this with the very worst pics you could take of yourself. It is a numbers game, and for every V girls you like, you will get Y numbers, and Z dates.

Facial selfies just don't cut it in OLD anymore. There is too much competition with other savvy guys who know how to manipulate photographic angles, lighting, cropping, scenes, style, facial expressions, and body language. More goes into photos than you would like to believe.

As stated earlier, you may have one photo rate 2%, and then another at 99%.

You're doing great. Now, let's go with the photographer. Google "Photographer for online dating." You should be able to find one who will snap 100 photos for around $150. It will be the best investment you have ever made. Trust me

The goal, and I will work with you on this, is to get these girls on dates to flex those social muscles and turn you into a social superstar. Let's rock and roll.

 

[skinnyguy]

He looks creepy and miserable in that pic. Seeking arrangement is his best bet cause the therapy won't work.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Any member who breaks the rules consistently gets warned and banned. In the meantime if you don't like a member, I advise using the ignore button and also refrain from participating in that member's threads. The ignore button can be found on each member's profile.

@RichardTheFrog , come on, dude, you know full well that is not a flattering picture of you. These phone cameras have a very wide lens and they distort the face so close up. I have always had a serious looking face too, until recently. You need to soften up your look and to look more approachable. If I was a woman and saw this pic I'd be scared sh!tless of you. Not because of your innate looks, but because of your expression.

Have a professional take a bunch of pictures and you will find a few that look good. You've got to realize that some people look fine in real life but just don't look good in 2 dimensions. This is the worst picture I've seen of you. You need to get off the idea that your looks matter so much (your looks are fine) and concentrate more on your attitudes and how you project yourself. A photographer will joke around with you and get you to relax, and that's what you need to convey in your photos.

I think you said elsewhere you have money. You need to get some counseling. All the stuff you share here should be shared with a flesh and blood MALE counselor.

Yes, this was before my success on Tinder the other day. I'm going to get a photographer right after I get some better clothes to take pics in.

I never used this pic in a profile, I just took it for the sake of this post. I don't think my looks are the problem. Maybe I'm no Brad Pitt, but few people are.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Richard, what you did the other day on Tinder was great. You got the girls' numbers, and asked for the date. This is everything. And you did this with the very worst pics you could take of yourself. It is a numbers game, and for every V girls you like, you will get Y numbers, and Z dates.

Facial selfies just don't cut it in OLD anymore. There is too much competition with other savvy guys who know how to manipulate photographic angles, lighting, cropping, scenes, style, facial expressions, and body language. More goes into photos than you would like to believe.

As stated earlier, you may have one photo rate 2%, and then another at 99%.

You're doing great. Now, let's go with the photographer. Google "Photographer for online dating." You should be able to find one who will snap 100 photos for around $150. It will be the best investment you have ever made. Trust me

The goal, and I will work with you on this, is to get these girls on dates to flex those social muscles and turn you into a social superstar. Let's rock and roll.

Should I get some new clothes first?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

There is a reason as to why people say "a picture is worth a thousand words".

The photo you put forth is going to be used to make a lot of initial caricature judgements about you. They can often be wrong or misguided with their impressions, and this will be even more extreme if you convey negative things with your photo unwittingly.

Look at the picture of yourself posted in this thread. From a woman's perspective, I would get the feeling that even through a photo you were somehow staring at my tits rather than making eye contact with me. Add to that the dull, tired nature of the look on your face, shirt off, laying in bed and it all adds up to the look of a sex-crazed creep ready to rape someone.

Whether that is true or not, that is the impression of your photo. Sh1t like this kills your match potential faster than anything else possibly can, your nose included.

When people tell you to smile, it is not for the reason of attracting a woman with a boyish grin. It is to convey to women, through your photo, that you are not a threat.

That website "photofeeler" that has been mentioned here a few times has a few articles on how to take better pics for OLD. Read this article and a few others they have and try to apply some of this stuff.

https://blog.photofeeler.com/take-attractive-online-dating-profile-pics-tinder-okcupid-at-home/

Yes, I know. I never used this pic in a profile, just took it to make this post.

Interesting that I look like a sex crazed maniac. (Who can blame me right?) But in all seriousness, what am I supposed to talk about? The stock market? Their pet doggy foo foo?

 

[guru1000]

Should I get some new clothes first?

You do need new style, yes. But that can take some time, among a style consultant, shopping, and tailoring. This is only needed to get you to the top of the "game." For now, let's get started with the basics. Spend the $150 today, it's not much money. You will have a 1000% increase in matches after your pics with your current style, which translates to a few dates a week.

I want you to understand that in the beginning, your first dates are not going to go well. This is because you need to build your "social muscles" to accommodate the interpersonal "social requirements" needed to establish rapport, connection, and attraction. But, you need to work on this as it's your greatest weakness. After 10 or so dates, you will increase your social awareness and sharpen your social intuition, and should be ready to slay like a bionic dragon.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Richard, In one of your posts I think that you said something in your profile that sounds sort of flippant, something like "Just trying this out". I would eliminate that comment as that can be a turn-off to girls.It comes across as indecisive and negative, from their point of view.

Also, please don't take my suggestion of counseling as an insult. Most of us here would do well with some counseling.

But in all seriousness, what am I supposed to talk about? The stock market? Their pet doggy foo foo?

We need to progress away from the anger phase of "red pill" knowledge, and work toward acceptance and strategies to deal with the current reality.

Women are entirely brainwashed by the media, because they are mostly incapable of thinking critically about it. That, along with men's weakness in leadership, has caused the current condition we find ourselves in. They really can't help their f'd upness because they are herd creatures and almost completely have an external locus of control.

It is easy for us to hate them or hold intense anger, but that would be akin to our holding hatred and anger for misbehaving children who never got the guidance they desperately needed.

Now to my point: We need to find a way to soften our anger and frustration with them and learn to help them and guide them. Most women are not at all like the women we see in the media. The real-life women we meet are only parroting what they think they are supposed to say. They are completely conflicted. But when a decent man comes along, a man who understands influence and leadership, all that feminist crap goes right out the window. The cure to anger and frustration with women is to take a leap of faith and try to take an ACTUAL interest in her well-being. Cater to and talk to the GOOD parts of her.

Her pet doggy Foo Foo is probably very important to her (as an example) and we can step up and take an interest in these things, not because we are genuinely interested, but because the best part of her responds to a man who shows her some kindness. Having said that, we should never tolerate bad behavior, but we must still find that place where the anger and frustration we naturally have can be channeled productively.

The way I started to handle my poor attitude toward women was to take an interest in them as a human being. They truly cannot help the way they are, because they are weak and just like water seeking to find its own level. They take the shape of the expectations of men, just as the ocean takes the shape of the shoreline. It is our responsibility to shape them and set limits. They are the way they are because men have become weak.

I know you're not looking for relationships, but at least consider making a conscious decision to take an interest in them as human beings. That doesn't diminish our authority, rather, it enhances it because they feel "safe" even though they are with a strong man. I don't think I'm expressing this as well as I'd like, but hopefully the main point of stepping up to take an interest in their personal lives is coming across.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Richard, what you did the other day on Tinder was great. You got the girls' numbers, and asked for the date. This is everything. And you did this with the very worst pics you could take of yourself. It is a numbers game, and for every V girls you like, you will get Y numbers, and Z dates.

Facial selfies just don't cut it in OLD anymore. There is too much competition with other savvy guys who know how to manipulate photographic angles, lighting, cropping, scenes, style, facial expressions, and body language. More goes into photos than you would like to believe.

As stated earlier, you may have one photo rate 2%, and then another at 99%.

You're doing great. Now, let's go with the photographer. Google "Photographer for online dating." You should be able to find one who will snap 100 photos for around $150. It will be the best investment you have ever made. Trust me

The goal, and I will work with you on this, is to get these girls on dates to flex those social muscles and turn you into a social superstar. Let's rock and roll.

Any suggestion on using a male photographer versus a female one? They want me to pick ONE location for the shoot. Like at a park, museum, etc. I think having tons of other people around me during the shoot in a public place will make me take bad pictures.

 

[guru1000]

I would choose a female photographer as she would be better suited as to what appeals to the mass female audience.

As to the venue: tell them, “ I have no idea, that’s why I’m hiring you. The goal is to maximize my online dating success so I’ll leave that decision for you.”

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I would choose a female photographer as she would be better suited as to what appeals to the mass female audience.

As to the venue: tell them, “ I have no idea, that’s why I’m hiring you. The goal is to maximize my online dating success so I’ll leave that decision for you.”

There's an app called Thumbtack that helps you find services. So far all the photographers that replied are male. They want to shoot some at my house, and some at a park.

I also have a wardrobe consultant that wants to go shopping with me. I think I should do the wardrobe first.