And to support this, I bet most people could be lumped into this statistic. Most human beings are innately narcissistic.
When I first came to SS, lost, looking for answers, one of the first routes I turned was BPD/NPD. My ex fit about 7 of the traits. But I stopped and said... those traits could fit anyone. Go re-read that nonsense on NIMH or whatever scientific website, and look at the criteria objectively. You could make those criteria fit anyone if it fit with your agenda, or more importantly if you have some sort of negative emotions associated with that individual.
So then I looked inside, looked at my actions over the months we were together, and looked at everything we did together. I was the problem, she was not the problem. It hit me like a ton of bricks one day and I realized everything I had done wrong.
It would be too easy to say she was an NPD/BPD, as I think most of the human populations fits those very vague highly subjective criteria. I was educated in science and am infinitely curious, so this wasn't good enough for me. It just didn't feel right. Instead, I looked inward, and found the true source of her behaviors. It was my lack of leading, my supplication, and on and on. I learned and have improved immensely since then.
We will not improve until we accept that we are part of the problem... It is not easy, but certainly necessary.