GF says inappropriate things

[earlkeese]

I have been dating this girl for almost 5 months. We tried to start dating before and she said she needed more time because she just got out of a relationship and wasn't ready. Fast forward about 6 months, and we re-connect and start dating, having sex, etc. She has made some pretty questionable remarks in regards to her ex like he was very good looking and girls would come up to her when they were out together and tell her so, etc.

So, last night we were having dinner and she made the comment, " I know what its like to be loved, my ex would introduce me to his friends". I actually took her last month to my good friends going away party, whom I knew for 16 years. I also took her to Vegas in September because she had never been and I wanted to do something nice for her.

Thoughts? The comment last night really set me off because I feel like I'm making the effort but doesn't seem to be over her ex.

 

[dude99]

I have been dating this girl for almost 5 months. We tried to start dating before and she said she needed more time because she just got out of a relationship and wasn't ready. Fast forward about 6 months, and we re-connect and start dating, having sex, etc. She has made some pretty questionable remarks in regards to her ex like he was very good looking and girls would come up to her when they were out together and tell her so, etc.

So, last night we were having dinner and she made the comment, " I know what its like to be loved, my ex would introduce me to his friends". I actually took her last month to my good friends going away party, whom I knew for 16 years. I also took her to Vegas in September because she had never been and I wanted to do something nice for her.

Thoughts? The comment last night really set me off because I feel like I'm making the effort but doesn't seem to be over her ex.

Jealousy will only encourage her to do it more because she will enjoy the fact it bothers you.
Sounds like she is still carrying a torch for the ex. I probably wouldn't say a thing. I would just withdraw attention and spin plates.

 

[jaymbrs]

She's still not over her ex. And it's BS because it sounds like she's comparing you to him and you're unfortunately coming up short. It'll be a LONG uphill battle for you. If I were you, I would take a step back and really think it it's even worth sticking it out. If you do decide to stick with her, you're going to need to be straight forward with her and tell her to stop bringing him up, in any context.

 

[Billtx49]

With the Ex still on her mind, she’s not over him, and it’s very likely that you’re only a rebound for her. If she keeps making comparative comments about him, consider an Exit stage left.

 

[lizardking82]

You're a rebound and that's OK like that if you enjoy the sex, but don't start getting your hopes up for this chick, she is as unstable as a leaf.

 

[Masculinity]

I would mention the things your ex did that she doesn't do for you.

 

[RedScorpion]

Never a good thing when your interest talks about their ex. Not only does it clearly show that they're thinking of their ex - but overtly bringing them up to you speaks volumes. I myself would not be happy with the comment she made. "I know what its like to be loved, my ex would introduce me to his friends" - what the hell is she trying to play at?

I would prepare yourself emotionally from her at least. Other guys have given some good advice for this situation. Sucks, I know.

 

[dustmuffin]

I would tell her that I don't want to hear about her ex and the next time she brings him up I will spank her ass.

Yes I have done this and it worked for me.

 

[exhausted]

This is such an inconsiderate cvnt thing to do.
Abort asap as not only does she lack respect and compassion but she still is not over the guy.

Women are terrible

 

[Thorninmyside]

Personally, I would give her the hard dump. If she's thinking of him when you're eating, she's thinking of him when you're banging. If she wants him so bad, tell her to go get him.

 

[devilkingx2]

she's prolly gonna want you to dye your hair blonde and then two weeks after you do it you'll find out her ex was also blonde

 

[Roober]

If a girl brings up her ex a bunch in a positive light like that, it is clear he is still in her mind. I would say proceed with caution.

 

[Julian]

Nonchalantly drop gems about YOUR ex..."this pizza is so good! My ex had a old italian recipe that was like this!"

"This song is my jam! My ex would get twerkin to this like crazy"

Etc etc..she will get the point. Fight fire with fire.

 

[Glassguy]

I agree with turning the tables on her. Mention how great your ex was at something on occasion, just out of the blue.

Also, turn her into a fb, start blowing her off here and there and she may start chasing you.

Until then it's a rebound. If she is still thinking about her ex, she has her eyes open for more better suited dudes as well.

Flip the script on her or she will be a leaf in a hurricane.

 

[FwoGiZ]

I would never mention my ex... that's you steeping to her level which personally, I don't find very manly.

I once again 100% agree with dude99 here.
Keep banging her, do not invest, remove attention (soft next) as necessary when she tries to make you jealous/manipulate you but do not play the game she wants you to play. By mentioning your ex, you are playing HER game.

You are a rebound and seems like she might be alpha widowed. You will never be good enough for her and if you try you are jumping into a bottomless pit of demands and she'll expect you to jump through a lot of hoops, thinking it'll make you as good as her ex, which it won't.

 

[dude99]

What you are probably seeing here is the effects of the NC challenge.

The ex probably went NC, and the poor OP is seeing, witnessing, and dealing with her hampster wheel spinning over her ex.

 

[Urbanyst]

These days, being in a LTR with a woman usually means tolerating all kind of sh*t tests and passive aggressive disrespect.

Today's ladies don't respect a man's commitment or love. They respect the guy who bangs her out, stretches out her vagina and cheats on her.

If you're not a careless swinging d*ck who tells her she is getting fat and ignores her while watching sports you will usually get nothing but abuse lol.

 

[earlkeese]

Update: told her yesterday that it’s best she move on. She responded with digs at my age (I’m 40 and she is 30), and said she will start replying to guys that slide in her DMs. This sounds like crap went thru when I was at that age. Clearly doesn’t care about me. I think she just wants a guy to marry her. I’m out either way.

 

[earlkeese]

Forgot to add that she stated the guys in her DMs will be better than me.

 

[Urbanyst]

Update: told her yesterday that it’s best she move on. She responded with digs at my age (I’m 40 and she is 30), and said she will start replying to guys that slide in her DMs. This sounds like crap went thru when I was at that age. Clearly doesn’t care about me. I think she just wants a guy to marry her. I’m out either way.

Well of course. She is 30.

Start dating someone under 25 please. That's your homework assignment.