Friendzoned?

[jaymbrs]

Hi All. Just joined here in hopes I could get some assistance from everyone. I'll keep it as short as I can. I just moved from living the city life in one state with a plethora of beautiful women and have moved to a suburb in another state for work where women are scarce.

I have managed to spark up a friendship with this hot blonde out here, outside of work. She has just gotten out of a relationship a few months ago with a guy who she met on an online dating site. Fast forward a few weeks after meeting her and we had an awesome makeout session (had her on the kitchen counter at one point) at her friend's house party. Grabbing her ass, legs, whatever I wanted. Didn't smash because her sister was sleeping in her room and there were still people there. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that I could smash another day. Next day I wake up to the dreaded text "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea last night. I'm not in any place to talk to anyone right now. I'm looking for friends and that's all." I was extremely irritated by this but told her that's fine.

After no contact, the following weekend she hits me up randomly to meet her for drinks with her and her GF. I figured what do I have to lose so I go. We drink, her friend leaves after about an hour or so and she ends up inviting me back to her place. I go, we have more drinks, I notice she's being very flirty while I'm sitting there being a little cautious and confused because of what she had texted me the week prior. Before I leave I say **** it and lean in to kiss her but she turns away... I'm shocked but play it cool. As she meets me at the door I go in for a kiss again and get her cheek instead. I'm upset about this and ask her what her deal is to which she replies "I thought I made my intentions very clear".....wtf is this??

Anyways, another week goes by with no contact and she hits me up again to meet somewhere for drinks. I tell her to meet me at the place I was currently at which she shows up promptly. This time she is all over me and again suggests we go back to her place after the bar closed. Same scenario as the first except this time there's some kino. I reminded myself of what happened the last time so after giving it some thought I came to the conclusion that I wasn't about to let this broad reject me again so I just tell her I had to leave. I was subtle about it. Wasn't a jerk or anything. Just said I was tired or some ****. And that was it. I just left. No attempts to kiss her this time around. I thought maybe this little curveball would put things into perspective for her.

Contact has been minimal for the past 2 weeks. She sent me a text about moving into her new place. I sent her a text about being busy with work (which was the truth). She's liked a Facebook status or 2 of mine recently. But I'm wondering who should hit up who at this point? I feel she wants the D but can't be sure. What do you guys think? Am I friend zoned? and if so, what can I do to break out of it?

 

[jaymbrs]

I'd say it's veered towards the friendzone to an extent that it's not worth continuing.

If you give it another go, have her follow your date plan instead. Initiate, set a date, and try to get her back to your place. Wouldn't be surprised if she starts flaking when she has to give up some control over to you.

Thank you for the response. I prefaced the situation with living in an area where women are scarce. So I feel I don't have much of a choice here but to roll the dice on this broad. It's BS when the odds are against us. I'll prob start traveling more or something.

 

[jaymbrs]

When we're going through a rough patch/dry spell it's easy to start lowering standards.

Ask yourself "what would I do, if I had 2 other girls right now?".

The answer is (from my perspective) that you'd have ploughed harder for the kiss, and ditched her after not getting it for being a time-waster.

Give it another try on your own terms. Test her for compliance by having her come to you, and follow your lead. Any more bullsh*t, and she should just be completely ignored imo, and attention put elsewhere.

Absolutely. It's a numbers game. And this is all too unfamiliar to me unfortunately which is why I brought it here. Thanks again. I'll try and set something up for next weekend and provide an update as well.

 

[jaymbrs]

*UPDATE*

Sent her a text to initiate conversation but received no response. However she continues to like my status updates on FB. There's no question this broad is playing her own little games so I'm dropping her.

 

[Urbanyst]

The city is the place to be if you like abundance.

The suburbs are going backwards. Just families, fat women and senior citizens out there.

I will never leave the city unless I'm forced too lol. F*ck the house, lawn work, and dog sh*t. I'm fine to live in a condo forever and be surrounded by concrete, bricks, steel and HOT women.

 

[jaymbrs]

The city is the place to be if you like abundance.

The suburbs are going backwards. Just families, fat women and senior citizens out there.

I will never leave the city unless I'm forced too lol. F*ck the house, lawn work, and dog sh*t. I'm fine to live in a condo forever and be surrounded by concrete, bricks, steel and HOT women.

Oh for sure bro. If I had the choice I would've stayed there. But it's a problem when work is 1 hour away from the nearest city. I'm planning on moving closer once my lease is up in March. But I've worked too hard on this career path that it's starting to dictate where I should live, hang with, etc. Wish I could've been a server/bartender forever.

 

[TheGambino]

*UPDATE*

Sent her a text to initiate conversation but received no response. However she continues to like my status updates on FB. There's no question this broad is playing her own little games so I'm dropping her.

Yes she is.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Let me ask you a question;
When you hangout with her, do you pay for everything?

 

[Urbanyst]

Oh for sure bro. If I had the choice I would've stayed there. But it's a problem when work is 1 hour away from the nearest city. I'm planning on moving closer once my lease is up in March. But I've worked too hard on this career path that it's starting to dictate where I should live, hang with, etc. Wish I could've been a server/bartender forever.

Just make sure you save and invest your MONEY. Have a big picture plan.

Your MONEY is more important than women and always will be. Eventually you can live wherever you want if you have the patience to sacrifice in the short-term and save/invest wisely.

While women are one benefit of living in the city, its not the main reason I do it.

 

[jaymbrs]

Let me ask you a question;
When you hangout with her, do you pay for everything?

Nope. I know better than that. We would split rounds. Then back at her place I would drink whatever beer she had in her fridge. A female friend of mine says that's where I messed up, by not paying for her drinks and then drinking hers at her place.But I see different.

 

[jaymbrs]

Just make sure you save and invest your MONEY. Have a big picture plan.

Your MONEY is more important than women and always will be. Eventually you can live wherever you want if you have the patience to sacrifice in the short-term and save/invest wisely.

While women are one benefit of living in the city, its not the main reason I do it.

Yep. Definitely doing me right now, as far as that goes. Making the most I've ever made and intend to continue on that upward trend.

 

[FwoGiZ]

No you didn't fck up by not paying... never listen to women's advice.. but I bet you already know that.

I was asking that cause it just feels like she's trying to get an orbiter out of ya.. like golddiggers do.

Look out for cues... I had a chick before which was saying she wanted to do really nice activities with me... I didn't pick up on what she was actually really saying which was : I want you to spend money on me.

Next time she pulls the LJBF card, you just gotta tell her straight up : I'm sorry. I have a lot of friends and you might not have noticed by now, but I am attracted to you so I am completely uninterested in mere friendship with you so I will politely have to refuse. Have a good one.
Then leave and go spin more plates brotha!

 

[jaymbrs]

No you didn't fck up by not paying... never listen to women's advice.. but I bet you already know that.

I was asking that cause it just feels like she's trying to get an orbiter out of ya.. like golddiggers do.

Look out for cues... I had a chick before which was saying she wanted to do really nice activities with me... I didn't pick up on what she was actually really saying which was : I want you to spend money on me.

Next time she pulls the LJBF card, you just gotta tell her straight up : I'm sorry. I have a lot of friends and you might not have noticed by now, but I am attracted to you so I am completely uninterested in mere friendship with you so I will politely have to refuse. Have a good one.
Then leave and go spin more plates brotha!

Damn. That's cold. And I've seen it done to my best friend too often. I've always told him to save money, not bitches. He never listens. And I'm not a gambling man. I don't get off on risking the loss of money for something that will not payoff so I'm careful with it. Def like to keep things balanced with chicks i.e. I'll pay for dinner, you pay for drinks.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Glassguy]

Been there done that. This is exactly what you do:

1.) Blow her off. Do not respond to fb likes, be very short if she texts you some bullsh!t bread crumbs (Hey how are you?....You just say "great" and nothing more).

2.) WHEN (not if) she asks you for drinks again, you tell her this: "I think I will pass. I was interested in you sexually and not really interested in just being platonic friends. Take care"

She will do one of two things. 1.) Get very sexual and invite you over, making it really clear that she wants to fvck. 2.) She will just not respond but may slide back in and repeat her invite for drinks in a couple weeks. At that point you still tell her that you dont do the friend thing with woman that you are sexually interested in.

You have to call her bluff and see how she handles it. She may be putting up an anti-sloot shield on you. Either way, she has to sh!t or get off the pot.

But you have to stop the friend dates where she leads you on then cuts you off.

 

[jaymbrs]

Been there done that. This is exactly what you do:

1.) Blow her off. Do not respond to fb likes, be very short if she texts you some bullsh!t bread crumbs (Hey how are you?....You just say "great" and nothing more).

2.) WHEN (not if) she asks you for drinks again, you tell her this: "I think I will pass. I was interested in you sexually and not really interested in just being platonic friends. Take care"

She will do one of two things. 1.) Get very sexual and invite you over, making it really clear that she wants to fvck. 2.) She will just not respond but may slide back in and repeat her invite for drinks in a couple weeks. At that point you still tell her that you dont do the friend thing with woman that you are sexually interested in.

You have to call her bluff and see how she handles it. She may be putting up an anti-sloot shield on you. Either way, she has to sh!t or get off the pot.

But you have to stop the friend dates where she leads you on then cuts you off.

I'll follow this to a T and see what happens. Thanks!

 

[jaymbrs]

Update*

I stopped all communication with this broad. Just because it seemed like it was going nowhere but I just randomly received an invite to her housewarming party. Yay or nay on going?

 

[FwoGiZ]

Go... and hit on her friends. Be a slayer

 

[jaymbrs]

Go... and hit on her friends. Be a slayer

Not a bad idea.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Go... and hit on her friends. Be a slayer

I like this idea. Arrive late so that way there's plenty of people already there. Go in, do intros for a few minutes. Scope the place out for hot chicks. If you find some, hit on them and pay attention to ONLY them. If they leave, you leave. If no hot chicks, leave after about 15 minutes of chatting with people.

 

[FwoGiZ]

It might just increase your SMV towards her...
I banged 2 sisters last week doing this.. one started giving me head games. so i moved on.. I think she understands what happened tho and doesn't hate me cause I am chill.