I need some advice

[FatherFigure]

Hello to everyone!

I was just broken up with by my gf of almost 2 years, and the reason she broke up with me was that she felt I wasn't honest enough. I don't understand this, I have told her every single thing and have never done anything wrong! She literally came up with this from legit nowhere, like she had no proof of anything! Part of me thinks that she is just trying to find ways to leave me, but I cant accept it at all! How can she be like this? and to add salt to the injury she doesn't seem fazed whatsoever! she is cold and indifferent, with her friends she laughs and whatever, how can this be? I feel ****ing miserable! I have done everything for her! I feel anger, hate, and also vast sadness.

What would you guys do? What should I do? I see her every day many times. I love her... I don't know what to do... I feel ****ty.

I used to deal with a lot of depression before we came together, but when she entered my life, I felt so much better, but now she is forcefully leaving, and I feel the depression lurking behind me like a predator watching its prey waiting to strike. I'm afraid. I dont get why... Why would she do this to me?

If anyone is able to give me some advice I very much appreciate it, and if you have read this far, thank you, for your time.

Sincerely,

FatherFigure

 

[RangerMIke]

Sorry... I afraid nothing anyone is going to say will make you feel better. But this is normal chick stuff. For some reason she has lost interest in you... really it could be anything. But while this was sudden for you, it was not for her... chicks will stick around until they feel nothing for you... then they leave, and they will always blame you.

When a chick says you aren't being honest with her, that usually means you were being to accommodating. When you are too nice and willing to do anything for her... she sees this as inauthentic behavior and therefor less than honest. Again it's really not anything you did, just her perception.

DO NOT think you can work this out... you can't. There is nothing you can do to turn this around. Just get rid of anything that reminds you of her and start asking other chicks out. You are NOT going to want to do this... but it is the quickest way to put this cr@p behind you... hit the gym, take some yoga practices... martial arts... rock climbing... anything physical and focus on self improvement... make some dates and see what happens... When you start thinking about her, STOP, think about something else.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She cheated. She feels horrible guilt about her dishonesty, and that is what she is projecting at you, by calling you dishonest. Projection is a common coping mechanism.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

OP she just doesn’t like you anymore, likely because she fell for someone else. Women don’t care. It’s how they are despite what mainstream media says. Start reading around on here and be sure to read The Book of Pook and the DJ Bible.

 

[dude99]

Hello to everyone!

I was just broken up with by my gf of almost 2 years, and the reason she broke up with me was that she felt I wasn't honest enough. I don't understand this, I have told her every single thing and have never done anything wrong! She literally came up with this from legit nowhere, like she had no proof of anything! Part of me thinks that she is just trying to find ways to leave me, but I cant accept it at all! How can she be like this? and to add salt to the injury she doesn't seem fazed whatsoever! she is cold and indifferent, with her friends she laughs and whatever, how can this be? I feel ****ing miserable! I have done everything for her! I feel anger, hate, and also vast sadness.

What would you guys do? What should I do? I see her every day many times. I love her... I don't know what to do... I feel ****ty.

I used to deal with a lot of depression before we came together, but when she entered my life, I felt so much better, but now she is forcefully leaving, and I feel the depression lurking behind me like a predator watching its prey waiting to strike. I'm afraid. I dont get why... Why would she do this to me?

If anyone is able to give me some advice I very much appreciate it, and if you have read this far, thank you, for your time.

Sincerely,

FatherFigure

Sounds like a typical chick who's interest progressively dimished over time. She began to receive new attention and fabricated a reason why the failure of the relationship is your fault


women have been doing this to decent guys for decades. If you honestly know her reason for breaking up with you was bullshït then don't blame yourself. Don't beat yourself up because that is exactly what she wants you to do because it means she gets to shirk responsibility.

Also if she dumped you for a reason you know is bűllshït then that says more about her than it does about you.

10 bucks says she branch swung to a new guy. She wont be fazed because she is getting attention and her ego is being fed.

Go read the no contact challenge thread. It will help with what you do next.

Delete all points of contact. Do not call her or return phone calls. Focus on yourself. Not her.

 

[Glassguy]

Sorry... I afraid nothing anyone is going to say will make you feel better. But this is normal chick stuff. For some reason she has lost interest in you... really it could be anything. But while this was sudden for you, it was not for her... chicks will stick around until they feel nothing for you... then they leave, and they will always blame you.

When a chick says you aren't being honest with her, that usually means you were being to accommodating. When you are too nice and willing to do anything for her... she sees this as inauthentic behavior and therefor less than honest. Again it's really not anything you did, just her perception.

DO NOT think you can work this out... you can't. There is nothing you can do to turn this around. Just get rid of anything that reminds you of her and start asking other chicks out. You are NOT going to want to do this... but it is the quickest way to put this cr@p behind you... hit the gym, take some yoga practices... martial arts... rock climbing... anything physical and focus on self improvement... make some dates and see what happens... When you start thinking about her, STOP, think about something else.

THIS.

All you need to know is yesterday she was with you, today she is not. This has been in the works for a while but you didn't notice it. Dont feel bad, it's happened to the best of us.

Delete and BLOCK her on every form of communication and social media RIGHT FVCKING NOW. Don't give yourself a reason to creep on her and miss her. Trust me.

Focus on you and do fun stuff. Get back out there dating. There are much better girls than this one that doesn't want to be with you. TRUST ME.

You don't miss her, you miss the company and attention. Go find it somewhere else.

You don't love her, you love the person that you though she was. She has shown you who she is and your worth to her. Stick around and you'll hate her once she starts being public with her new guy on social media for your viewing pleasure.

Delete, block, ignore. Take 2 days to feel sorry for yourself and then do not allow yourself to feel that way again. Get your mojo back and go find better chicks.

 

[lizardking82]

Dude, this is a similar story to mine. Some guys here will say she cheated on you, but none knows whether she did or not, though they are doing you a favour by telling you that cause you have to kill your ego regarding her. For whatever reason, she lost interest. As some guys here have already mentioned, detox from her. Delete on all social media and start paying attention to yourself, your own goals and projects. It might seem quite cliche, but it is hugely important.

Only a person without roots and goals in his life would get hurt a lot by someone else leaving him/her. Sure it won't feel pleasant, but it should not devastate you either. If it does, the problem is bigger than her leaving.

 

[FatherFigure]

Hey guys, I really appreciate the support and feedback... It means a lot to me... I have deleted all I had of her... The thing is I see her every day, everywhere... I'm getting a huge urge to approach her and talk, ****... This sht is so painful... the cheating part I doubt. She was always honest... or at least it seemed... I feel lonely as ****!

 

[FatherFigure]

Hey guys, I really appreciate the support and feedback... It means a lot to me... I have deleted all I had of her... The thing is I see her every day, everywhere... I'm getting a huge urge to approach her and talk, ****... This sht is so painful... the cheating part I doubt. She was always honest... or at least it seemed... I feel lonely as ****!

Also is there a way to avoid things? I see here everywhere and the urge gets stronger and stronger as the time passes by, if she speaks to me, how do I react? What do I do? Should I show anger? sadness? any emotion?

Once again thanks for the help guys, I really appreciate it!

 

[Glassguy]

Also is there a way to avoid things? I see here everywhere and the urge gets stronger and stronger as the time passes by, if she speaks to me, how do I react? What do I do? Should I show anger? sadness? any emotion?

Once again thanks for the help guys, I really appreciate it!

You should be civil and indifferent. Nothing more, nothing less. And NEVER bring up the past relationship with her.

At this point if she says something like "breaking up seemed like the right thing to do", etc., AGREE with her. "Yeah I agree that its the best thing for us to do". She is only looking to see if you will fold like a cheap suit and start begging and try to talk her back into a relationship (she is looking for attention to see if you're still there in case her new plan doesnt work out...nothing more).

If she would happen to tell you that she is unsure if the break up was a good move, you simply tell her that what has been done cant be undone RIGHT NOW and you wish her the best. THATS IT. Tell her that it was probably the best move after you've had time to think about it.

She says "hi", you smile and say "hi" back. Nothing more, nothing less. You are to never initiate an actual conversation with her from now on as she is a former girlfriend, not a current girlfriend or potential plate/gf.

You treat her just like any other person that you run into on a daily basis that you arent trying to bang. Civil and indifferent.

The minute you get mad, upset, emotional, extra nice.....she has gotten a rise out of you and knows you're there if she changes her mind.

She is expecting you to act like a whipped puppy dog, which you are not going to do.

Go find other women. Dont find them to flaunt them around her, find them so you can start dating again and moving on with life.

 

[FatherFigure]

You should be civil and indifferent. Nothing more, nothing less. And NEVER bring up the past relationship with her.

At this point if she says something like "breaking up seemed like the right thing to do", etc., AGREE with her. "Yeah I agree that its the best thing for us to do". She is only looking to see if you will fold like a cheap suit and start begging and try to talk her back into a relationship (she is looking for attention to see if you're still there in case her new plan doesnt work out...nothing more).

If she would happen to tell you that she is unsure if the break up was a good move, you simply tell her that what has been done cant be undone RIGHT NOW and you wish her the best. THATS IT. Tell her that it was probably the best move after you've had time to think about it.

She says "hi", you smile and say "hi" back. Nothing more, nothing less. You are to never initiate an actual conversation with her from now on as she is a former girlfriend, not a current girlfriend or potential plate/gf.

You treat her just like any other person that you run into on a daily basis that you arent trying to bang. Civil and indifferent.

The minute you get mad, upset, emotional, extra nice.....she has gotten a rise out of you and knows you're there if she changes her mind.

She is expecting you to act like a whipped puppy dog, which you are not going to do.

Go find other women. Dont find them to flaunt them around her, find them so you can start dating again and moving on with life.

Dude I apreciate you, and all the people helping out! Thanks a lot man! Ill try all of this, its gonna be super hard but Im gonna try, thanks!

 

[FatherFigure]

Also I have many things I still want to know from her, cause this felt so sudden! Should I try to let it go? It keeps bothering mw.

 

[Glassguy]

Also I have many things I still want to know from her, cause this felt so sudden! Should I try to let it go? It keeps bothering mw.

What do you want to know? Do you want her to tell you that she has been fvcking another dude? That she has been talking to someone else who seems much more fun and exciting than you?

It makes absolutely no difference why she left. She left. End of story. You chasing her around for answers will get you nothing more than a bad reputation, stalker personality and a restraining order.

Let it be and stop over analyzing!

 

[ImJustaGirl]

and to add salt to the injury she doesn't seem fazed whatsoever! she is cold and indifferent, with her friends she laughs and whatever, how can this be?

Every guy I’ve ever talked to after being dumped has said this. She IS phased.
Girls grow up hearing boys be told “Don’t be a girl”, “Don’t cry like a girl” and “You’re such a girl” all meant to point out weakness. When a woman is dealing with a man who is then not her significant other, she’s conditioned to “stop being a girl”. She won’t show you emotions anymore. Also, it’s hard enough breaking up with a guy and the instant we show any kind of sadness about doing it, the guy’s reaction is to latch on and fight it even harder. If we show no emotion, the guy will shut down and make it easier to leave.

 

[resilient]