Dirty Talk

[Urbanyst]

As an aside and as to what @Urbanyst said, communication is extremely important in intimate relations. Doesn't matter if your woman is a virgin or is very experienced. Different things work better for different people. So yes you need to listen to your partner and learn what turns her on or gets her going physically. You can't assume whatever YOU are doing is the best thing to be doing. That is a terribly arrogant stance. You don't live in her body, she does.

Think of it this way. Women don't have man physiology, obviously. How does a woman get good at oral sex? Some man has to teach her/tell her. She can't feel what he feels (she doesn't live in his body) so she has to listen, observe and respond in order to please him. What if you are with a woman who doesn't give good oral sex? Are you going to let her try although it may be uncomfortable and may dampen your arousal? Not if you have any sense...rather you are going to guide her and communicate what you like and what you don't. Women are no different.

If you as a man are unable or unwilling to listen to what your partner needs to enjoy sex, then you are actually stifling your own enjoyment and it's a matter of time before she drops you or starts turning down sex because you are being selfish in bed. You gotta lose the ego and listen to her if she is trying to communicate in this way.

I don't care what wh0res want in bed.

Women don't date men for the sex. I know that already. The sex is more for the man.

As far as listening to her goes.. it has to come off in the form of suggestions. I'm ok when a woman makes suggestions like: "Hey, lets try this position! Or hey can you smack me harder?" Sure that's fine. But any kind of extensive instruction manual suggests she is either a wh0re, has low attraction or wants me to imitate some man from her past.

I don't do imitations.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't care what wh0res want in bed.

Women don't date men for the sex. I know that already. The sex is more for the man.

As far as listening to her goes.. it has to come off in the form of suggestions. I'm ok when a woman makes suggestions like: "Hey, lets try this position! Or hey can you smack me harder?" Sure that's fine. But any kind of extensive instruction manual suggests she is either a wh0re, has low attraction or wants me to imitate some man from her past.

I don't do imitations.

Women do care about sex. They care about it A LOT. You are shortsighted to assume otherwise. It only takes one good lover for a woman to know what having a good lover is like. My first serious relationship (and first sexual experience) was with a man who was a good lover. My ex husband was also a very good lover. I will never settle for mediocre in bed because I've had awesome. Life is too short for that. Fortunately much can be learned about what sort of lover a man will be without actually having sex, which makes weeding out the selfish, the arrogant and the know-it-alls possible without promiscuous behavior.

Unless you are well skilled in the physiology of getting a woman off (lots of men, I'd suggest MOST men, are NOT) then you'd do well to listen and learn from your lovers. You might learn additional skills that you can apply elsewhere. For example @marmel75 has the technical side of things down because I can tell you that what he does from a technique standpoint works just from what I have read of his writings in the context of what I know about great lovers through my own experience. So if you'd rather not converse with me, listen to him. Suggestions are a great way to frame things, but sometimes a woman does need to show you how to activate her anatomy because there are things that vary from person to person.

What I am hearing you say is that you are too all knowing to stoop to listening if a woman tries to communicate this sort of thing with you, and furthermore that any woman who seeks to communicate with you in this way must a wh0re. Hmmm. That's an ego protecting judgemental attitude that is not going to serve you well in the long term. Why not simply take in the information, apply it, and voila you have more tools in your tool kit and better skills as a lover? Is that really so terrible?

 

[Urbanyst]

Women do care about sex. They care about it A LOT. You are shortsighted to assume otherwise. It only takes one good lover for a woman to know what having a good lover is like. My first serious relationship (and first sexual experience) was with a man who was a good lover. My ex husband was also a very good lover. I will never settle for mediocre in bed because I've had awesome. Life is too short for that. Fortunately much can be learned about what sort of lover a man will be without actually having sex, which makes weeding out the selfish, the arrogant and the know-it-alls possible without promiscuous behavior.

Yeah, they were all "good lovers" yet they are no where to be found today lol.

Again.. women don't date or marry men for the sex. The sex is primarily for the man. Sure.. I'm open to suggestions in bed, but not to the point where the sex is no longer fun for ME.

A woman who is not fun for ME to f*ck can get lost. That is her primary purpose. Being a high VALUE man is enough without being some kind of Oscar winning actor in bed so she can fantasize about some other dude she f*cked before me. I'm not about trying to please high mileage wh0res in bed. Sorry.

The relationship is already all about the woman. Now the sex too? Be more entitled.

Unless you are well skilled in the physiology of getting a woman off (lots of men, I'd suggest MOST men, are NOT) then you'd do well to listen and learn from your lovers. You might learn additional skills that you can apply elsewhere. For example @marmel75 has the technical side of things down because I can tell you that what he does from a technique standpoint works just from what I have read of his writings in the context of what I know about great lovers through my own experience. So if you'd rather not converse with me, listen to him. Suggestions are a great way to frame things, but sometimes a woman does need to show you how to activate her anatomy because there are things that vary from person to person.

If we are not compatible sexually, then we both need to find someone who is.

What I am hearing you say is that you are too all knowing to stoop to listening if a woman tries to communicate this sort of thing with you, and furthermore that any woman who seeks to communicate with you in this way must a wh0re. Hmmm. That's an ego protecting judgemental attitude that is not going to serve you well in the long term. Why not simply take in the information, apply it, and voila you have more tools in your tool kit and better skills as a lover? Is that really so terrible?

Because what makes a "good lover" is highly subjective. You might be shocked to learn this but all women are not the same lol.

I've been considered a "good lover" to enough women just doing things my way.

 

[BeExcellent]

Yeah, they were all "good lovers" yet they are no where to be found today lol

Actually they try and orbit. My ex husband has made it very clear he'd want me back in a heartbeat. Hopefully he finds himself a girlfriend soon, lol. The other guy I mentioned I've known 27 years. He jokes that we will end up together (and men never are entirely joking along those lines.)

If you don't think sex is important to women you are certainly entitled to your opinion. Who am I to correct you? You'll end up with just such a woman, one who can take or leave sex, and that has it's own set of issues many stymied men can describe for you. You can always wash, rinse & repeat ad infinitum.

I will NOT be in relationship with a man who isn't amazing in bed. I've been that way since day one and I've made no bones about that being my top criteria (but in no way at all my only criteria.) I've ditched very rich men because they had habits or behaviors that indicated they were going to be duds in the sack. Men who were brusque, pushy, without nuance or who had little charm/personality or were terrible at kissing. That's part of why I have dated/married/LTR'd players. Players are charming and understand women well and have enough sexual veracity to be good or great lovers. They are accustomed to beautiful women, they are "over it" or DGAF and yet they realize something good when they encounter it. They are willing to engage after the initial courtship and allow emotional intimacy, for emotional intimacy is what most players seek after a while but cannot find.

Because what makes a "good lover" is highly subjective. You might be shocked to learn this but all women are not the same lol.

I've been considered a "good lover" to enough women just doing things my way.

Agreed. And I'm sure you have been told that. The fact that women are NOT all the same is precisely why I'm discussing this topic. I have plenty of close girlfriends and sisters to know that there is very wide variation among women. Different hang-ups, different turn-ons, different expectations. I do know some women who are ambivalent about sex, but none of the happily married ones fall into that category. Women who don't appreciate sex are those most likely to end up alone. Men should pick women who DO like sex. Then everybody's happy. My point is that communication between lovers is important. Without it you cannot build an intimate connection. Without an intimate connection you cannot get to off the hook amazing.

 

[Urbanyst]

Actually they try and orbit. My ex husband has made it very clear he'd want me back in a heartbeat. Hopefully he finds himself a girlfriend soon, lol. The other guy I mentioned I've known 27 years. He jokes that we will end up together (and men never are entirely joking along those lines.)

Yet you don't want to get back with them. So clearly the "good sex" wasn't enough. Case closed.

If you don't think sex is important to women you are certainly entitled to your opinion. Who am I to correct you? You'll end up with just such a woman, one who can take or leave sex, and that has it's own set of issues many stymied men can describe for you. You can always wash, rinse & repeat ad infinitum.

I will NOT be in relationship with a man who isn't amazing in bed. I've been that way since day one and I've made no bones about that being my top criteria (but in no way at all my only criteria.) I've ditched very rich men because they had habits or behaviors that indicated they were going to be duds in the sack. Men who were brusque, pushy, without nuance or who had little charm/personality or were terrible at kissing. That's part of why I have dated/married/LTR'd players. Players are charming and understand women well and have enough sexual veracity to be good or great lovers. They are accustomed to beautiful women, they are "over it" or DGAF and yet they realize something good when they encounter it. They are willing to engage after the initial courtship and allow emotional intimacy, for emotional intimacy is what most players seek after a while but cannot find.

Well you had several men who are GREAT in bed and you are no longer with them. So clearly nothing pleases you. Maybe you're the problem lol.

Agreed. And I'm sure you have been told that. The fact that women are NOT all the same is precisely why I'm discussing this topic. I have plenty of close girlfriends and sisters to know that there is very wide variation among women. Different hang-ups, different turn-ons, different expectations. I do know some women who are ambivalent about sex, but none of the happily married ones fall into that category. Women who don't appreciate sex are those most likely to end up alone. Men should pick women who DO like sex. Then everybody's happy. My point is that communication between lovers is important. Without it you cannot build an intimate connection. Without an intimate connection you cannot get to off the hook amazing.

You can like sex without being a wh0re.

A woman who likes sex and has STRONG attraction for her men will enjoy sex with her man and submit to her man and not tell him how to imitated some Ex boyfriend or husband who f*cked her earlier.

 

[BeExcellent]

Yet you don't want to get back with them. So clearly the "good sex" wasn't enough. Case closed.

Total straw man argument. You don't want to be with an ugly woman who is amazing in bed either or a beautiful woman who then gains 100 lbs., let's be honest here...So you have other standards she has to meet just like I do.

People have criteria. You do, I do, we all do. I find it funny you want to go round with me about my criteria. You have your own as well to be sure.

Why do you think learning about your lover and what she may like or enjoy is "imitation"? Couldn't she say the same about whatever blow job technique you enjoy? I mean its your anatomy, shouldn't she please you in a way that you prefer? Why are you so resistant to that idea where women are concerned? That is how to be good in bed 101. Unless you really don't care about your lovers (which is the impression I am getting) because you already know everything. OK. Got it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

*Cracks fingers*

Let me take a stab at this.

My favorites are:

"Does that feel good"

"Tell me what feels good"

She usually reponds "Your d*ck" - this is very hot to me for some reason

"You feel so good"

"Where do you want it" - I love involving women in deciding where I'm going to finish.

This is basic stuff and nothing too complicated. It's great hearing the woman you're with, especially if she's your GF or LTR, answer these questions during sex. Very hot, imo. But it doesn't have to be anything complicated or so dirty you don't feel comfortable with it.

 

[Urbanyst]

Total straw man argument. You don't want to be with an ugly woman who is amazing in bed either or a beautiful woman who then gains 100 lbs., let's be honest here...So you have other standards she has to meet just like I do.

People have criteria. You do, I do, we all do. I find it funny you want to go round with me about my criteria. You have your own as well to be sure.

Sure.. but I don't go on constantly about all these "amazing" women I've dated and how I have so many HIGH QUALITY women chasing me that I have to beat them off with a stick... yet some how.. some way.. I'm still single. Nope. I don't do that.

Why do you think learning about your lover and what she may like or enjoy is "imitation"?

Never said that. I said I'm open to suggestions in bed but I don't want a damn instruction manual. That's a turn off and makes me think you're a wh0re.

Couldn't she say the same about whatever blow job technique you enjoy? I mean its your anatomy, shouldn't she please you in a way that you prefer? Why are you so resistant to that idea where women are concerned? That is how to be good in bed 101. Unless you really don't care about your lovers (which is the impression I am getting) because you already know everything. OK. Got it.

Why does this get under your skin so much? Do I remind you of an Ex who pounded you his own way and left later?

There is a big difference between giving suggestions in bed and giving a detailed instruction manual with chapters. I don't know why that's so hard to understand.

Clearly you have written a big fat textbook called "How to get BeExcellent to squirt" and you feel like I'm calling you a wh0re for documenting your many decades of riding c0ck lol.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why does this get under your skin so much?

Because it's a misguided viewpoint that might impede someone else's ability to enjoy an experience with their partner. You are basically saying you are only able to communicate in one way and you additionally are judgemental about the way someone communicates with you. That is not a stance that fosters understanding but suit yourself.
It doesn't affect me personally one iota.

Never said that.

You have said several times on this thread the following:

submit to her man and not tell him how to imitated some Ex boyfriend or husband

So you equate a woman telling you how to please her as "...how to imitate some Ex boyfriend or husband" and you find that somehow offensive. Just using your own words here.

Clearly you have written a big fat textbook called "How to get BeExcellent to squirt"

I have not. However I have had years of satisfying sexual relations with a few long term partners including a husband with whom I was involved for the better part of 20 years. You become great lovers through communication. Dirty talk is a piece of that. So is learning in detail your partner's anatomy, preferences
and psyche. So yes I am experienced and know what I'm talking about. Have you managed to have a year long relationship yet with anyone?

and you feel like I'm calling you a wh0re for documenting your many decades of riding c0ck lol.

You have not called me any names that I've seen. Why would I think that? You are projecting. I don't feel the way you characterize things at all. I find your line of reasoning rather defensive. I'm merely trying to understand why you appear resistant to open communication regarding sex and sexual satisfaction. Such an attitude shoots you in the foot in the long run. I mean it's your foot, so carry on by all means.

 

[Urbanyst]

Because it's a misguided viewpoint that might impede someone else's ability to enjoy an experience with their partner. You are basically saying you are only able to communicate in one way and you additionally are judgemental about the way someone communicates with you. That is not a stance that fosters understanding but suit yourself.
It doesn't affect me personally one iota.

Read this line until it registers:

I'm open to suggestions in bed, but NOT an instruction manual.

I prefer submissive women over more dominant women. Again.. suggestions are welcome such as: "Faster! Slower! Hit me harder! Lets try this position!"

Since for some reason you can't understand where I'm coming from.. its very much like telling a chef how to cook his own menu. You don't tell a man how to f*ck you. What nerve. Telling a man how to f*ck you is basically telling a man how to be a man. You are supposed to just take it in and experience the man. Experience his authenticity and bedroom personality. Like when you experience the food from a chef. You just f*cking eat it. You don't tell him how to prepare it. You offer suggestions at best (extra cheese, more pepper). You NEVER tell a chef to prepare his food similar to another chef.

If you don't like his food you don't eat at his restaurant again. Simple. But you don't tell a chef how to be a chef.

I'll also say that if you can't be submissive in the bedroom you are not a real woman as far as I'm concerned.

I have not. However I have had years of satisfying sexual relations with a few long term partners including a husband with whom I was involved for the better part of 20 years. You become great lovers through communication. Dirty talk is a piece of that. So is learning in detail your partner's anatomy, preferences
and psyche. So yes I am experienced and know what I'm talking about. Have you managed to have a year long relationship yet with anyone?

How many men have you slept with? Lol.

You have not called me any names that I've seen. Why would I think that? You are projecting. I don't feel the way you characterize things at all. I find your line of reasoning rather defensive. I'm merely trying to understand why you appear resistant to open communication regarding sex and sexual satisfaction. Such an attitude shoots you in the foot in the long run. I mean it's your foot, so carry on by all means.

I'm not resistant to open communication. You just suck at reading comprehension.

 

[BeExcellent]

Read this line until it registers:

I'm open to suggestions in bed, but NOT an instruction manual.

I prefer submissive women over more dominant women. Again.. suggestions are welcome such as: "Faster! Slower! Hit me harder! Lets try this position!"

Since for some reason you can't understand where I'm coming from.. its very much like telling a chef how to cook his own menu. You don't tell a man how to f*ck you. What nerve. Telling a man how to f*ck you is basically telling a man how to be a man. You are supposed to just take it in and experience the man. Experience his authenticity and bedroom personality. Like when you experience the food from a chef. You just f*cking eat it. You don't tell him how to prepare it. You offer suggestions at best (extra cheese, more pepper). You NEVER tell a chef to prepare his food similar to another chef.

If you don't like his food you don't eat at his restaurant again. Simple. But you don't tell a chef how to be a chef.

I'll also say that if you can't be submissive in the bedroom you are not a real woman as far as I'm concerned.




How many men have to slept with? Lol.




I'm not resistant to open communication. You just suck at reading comprehension.

Sigh. There are occasionally things that faster/slower/more less or whatever other "suggestions" you are willing to hear do not cover.

Please feel welcome to have the last word.

 

[Urbanyst]

Sigh. There are occasionally things that faster/slower/more less or whatever other "suggestions" you are willing to hear do not cover.

Please feel welcome to have the last word.

Sure, I'll take the last word for kicks.

You don't tell a chef how to cook his own menu BeExcellent. Either you like his food or you don't. You can suggest small changes. But you don't dictate the menu. Just experience the food. It was made with love. Stop nagging and eat your food.

Sorry you have learn this at such an advanced age.

 

[Roober]

oh my... Feel like I have needed some popcorn today. This place is entertaining. =D

 

[MrJack]

oh my... Feel like I have needed some popcorn today. This place is entertaining. =D

I'm glad I could create such great entertainment lol

Thank you for the replies everyone! Lots of good input here time to put it to use.

 

[sazc]

@Urbanyst if you were smashing me and I said "I love the amazing feel of your hot c0ck in my wet pvssy.....harder, faster, pulllease!"

Is that instructional to you? Suggestive, as in suggesting what to do?

I always thought " taking dirty" was classified more along the lines of a (dirty) running commentary, but you seem to have a different definition.

 

[Macaframalama]

Some dudes just can't handle a woman confident in her sexuality. It's hard enough to find in the first place, without dudes slamming them for expressing themselves sexually. It's pretty obvious by the chef analogy that homeboy is cooking dinner for one.

 

[AJ84]

@Urbanyst if you were smashing me and I said "I love the amazing feel of your hot c0ck in my wet pvssy.....harder, faster, pulllease!"

Is that instructional to you? Suggestive, as in suggesting what to do?

I always thought " taking dirty" was classified more along the lines of a (dirty) running commentary, but you seem to have a different definition.

"Pullease!"
hahah that's funny.

Just to add to what beexcellent wrote, those women who don't like sex are likely the ones who don't communicate what they want for whatever reason. Reading the back and forth here I wonder if some of these women had negative feedback from guys when they did try to tell them what they like.
These are the ones whose husbands complain that their wives won't sleep with them except on birthdays and Christmas lol.
Personally, I wouldnt waste time with a guy who doesn't care what I like in bed. It's selfish and an indication of other things he won't care about.
For the single ladies out there with options there is no reason to settle for that kind of a guy when there are men out there who enjoy getting women off.

 

[resilient]

:: opens thread... looks around.... forget the popcorn, @Roober, it's slippery in here!::

 

[Urbanyst]

@Urbanyst if you were smashing me and I said "I love the amazing feel of your hot c0ck in my wet pvssy.....harder, faster, pulllease!"

Is that instructional to you? Suggestive, as in suggesting what to do?

I always thought " taking dirty" was classified more along the lines of a (dirty) running commentary, but you seem to have a different definition.

That would be fine by me.

Also.. I don't mind dirty talk coming form a woman. I just don't like talking dirty myself. I'm more about action.

Some dudes just can't handle a woman confident in her sexuality. It's hard enough to find in the first place, without dudes slamming them for expressing themselves sexually. It's pretty obvious by the chef analogy that homeboy is cooking dinner for one.

LOL. As if.

Blue pill sh*t.

Women don't need to be "handled".They should be enjoyed.

Like saying "Some dudes just can't handle a pizza with chocolate chips on it"... Umm.. no.. its more like some dudes just DON'T LIKE their pizza that way.

Don't try to shame or guilt me into finding wh0ring and carouseling appealing in women. This is what bred feminism.

Its the same horse sh*t where MEN dress up in women's clothes.. then want to shame any women who doesn't consider them a "real man". LOL. Some girls just "can't handle" my feminine side.. yeah right... STFU lol.

 

[Macaframalama]

Blue pill sh*t.

Dude, why is anything left of beating a bich over the head with a club, dragging her off by the hair of the head and ****ing her considered blue pill around here?

Don't try to shame or guilt me into finding wh0ring and carouseling appealing in women. This is what bred feminism.

Not concerned with what you feel bruh.

Its the same horse sh*t where MEN dress up in women's clothes.. then want to shame any women who doesn't consider them a "real man". LOL. Some girls just "can't handle" my feminine side.. yeah right... STFU lol.

Uh, ok. How in the hell you equate that to a woman expressing how she likes to be pleasured is beyond me, about just as much as it makes her a *****. There is a word for people like you. It is called insecure. So you push ppl down with your labels to make yourself feel more powerful. Since you bring up dominance so much, here is a little eye opener for you. You wouldn't even be given the chance to dominate her if it weren't for her choosing to let you dominate her. The least you could do is be receptive to her sexual needs and desires. Or don't. It makes it that much easier for those that do.