When is moving in together acceptable?

[MrJack]

Now I'm not in an LTR and nowhere near moving in with a woman at this point in my life but I'm curious about the topic.

The general consensus of the forum, I've gathered, is that when you move in with an LTR, eventually things will go to shyt and she will take you for granted and take advantage of living with you.

It's inevitably doomed to fail. That's the vibe I get from everyone's viewpoint here when this topic has arisen.

So what's the deal with this because obviously if you're in an LTR for a long enough period of time and things are going well the next "step" would be moving in together no?

Is it only acceptable when married?

Basically is it EVER a good idea?

Enlighten me.

 

[wifehunter]

Most relationships fail...

Be careful... most people fukk this up.

I'd make sure there's a strong bond. If not, you'll probably get sick of each other quickly. If the person is 'easy going' and not 'up tight', things may go well. IOW, I'd make sure, I would want to spend the rest of my life with this person.

If this isn't done right, it could ruin your life for a long period of time, or permanently.

 

[sosousage]

When you have value and/or plates. Woman in LTR cant be too sure of you, she will be the one to end if it she faces boredom. Man on the other side can have plates while not ending his LTR.

You can see how unfair it is, if woman had a lot of orbiters/choices she would be quick to leave an LTR, but you as a man with options can keep the LTR safe just because you have options. Which is the totally opposite, because she wouldnt save it in this case, she would go for someone else

 

[Fruitbat]

Most people I know cohabit. Many are happy. I think

 

[djthiago1]

You move in after marriage.

 

[MrJack]

When you have value and/or plates. Woman in LTR cant be too sure of you, she will be the one to end if it she faces boredom. Man on the other side can have plates while not ending his LTR.

You can see how unfair it is, if woman had a lot of orbiters/choices she would be quick to leave an LTR, but you as a man with options can keep the LTR safe just because you have options. Which is the totally opposite, because she wouldnt save it in this case, she would go for someone else

I feel like it would be hard to keep plates around while living with the LTR girl unless you're going to the plates house every time.

 

[Fruitbat]

How can you have plates when in an LTR, unless you are advocating fvcking women behind your girls back, in which case, why LTR that girl?

 

[Red Legg]

In my book it's never acceptable,why the hell would you want to give up your independence and freedom ? If you are going to move in with a woman first cut off your balls with a pair of garden shears and hand them over to her on a silver platter along with your wallet.

 

[narcissist]

You move in after marriage.

That is a terrible decision.

You're going to marry a person without even knowing if you enjoy living with them????

 

[sosousage]

How can you have plates when in an LTR, unless you are advocating fvcking women behind your girls back, in which case, why LTR that girl?

you dont have to **** them. just texting them on fb/phone will give your girl a feeling she has to compete for you

 

[djthiago1]

That is a terrible decision.

You're going to marry a person without even knowing if you enjoy living with them????

That's why you're supposed to be in a relationship for at least 2 years before marrying, by that time you'll know if she's easy going and tolerable to be around, you don't need to live with someone to know if they can keep their stuff together, be tidy, cook, clean, things like that. All you need to do is sleep over a few times and pay attention.

 

[MrJack]

How can you have plates when in an LTR, unless you are advocating fvcking women behind your girls back, in which case, why LTR that girl?

That's what I was was confused about in @sosousage 's post. I don't condone it because I've learned it only causes unneeded stress for both parties.

 

[cityboy989]

When you have value and/or plates. Woman in LTR cant be too sure of you, she will be the one to end if it she faces boredom. Man on the other side can have plates while not ending his LTR.

You can see how unfair it is, if woman had a lot of orbiters/choices she would be quick to leave an LTR, but you as a man with options can keep the LTR safe just because you have options. Which is the totally opposite, because she wouldnt save it in this case, she would go for someone else

She wouldn't be so quick to leave that relationship even if she has orbiters, if she has children. Whether the guy she's with is the kids father or not, it's damaging to a child to rip apart a family, no?

 

[Von]

I would say as soon as possible

"Soon as possible" is defined you wanna move to the next stage

Likely after 6months of dating... you also believe that its time to commit in the couple and built eventually à family

Once you move in, you'll know exactly what to expect from your partner.. and yes you need to communicate, to share, to compromise, negociate, keep your frame etc... LTR is work and it involves 2 peoples... so you aint alone anymore

Alot of people here are afraid of being Hurt, defending their ego, or are just the wrong crowd for succesful examples. That's why you dont see much "success" some poster here do have success but they dont share it here.

Waiting for mariage ? Personaly i think its à bad idea, sûre there is ways you can improve your LTR and have better chances but Hey its à leap of faith too and it might work well. It dépends of your partner, you and how you make it work.... but yes.. you leave alot of unknowns (thus à leap of faith)

Some people will want to be single or living alone forever... it's their choice, not à badone, but they will always wonder what to do on christmas night or new year Eve, always want to party while their friends have family totake care (or handle)... they slowly are left out of their social circles by their friends who build family and LTR. Due to not being at the same life cycle/stage.. clear example: notice what happens to your dynamic with your friends who have kids and you dont... In couple or not

So, I believe in LTR. After the big dating phase, you want to move in as soon as possible to know if it will work... and help each other financially/emotionnally etc...

Or wait for marriage after experiencing a long term period of dating and have a leap of faith

There is no good or bad, just ways to improve your chances.

My short answer: 6months or if the situation calls for it (student life, kids...etc)

 

[skinnyguy]

When you're ready to not get laid anymore

 

[Billtx49]

When you're ready to not get laid anymore

Exactly right. The sex is definitely on a decreasing slope from that point forward, unless both are working for it.
If she’s not, then all previous sex was the bait that set the trap.

 

[AJ84]

You move in after marriage.

You don't know someone until you live with them.

Moving in with someone after you marry them is like buying a pair of $5000 final sale shoes without trying them on.

 

[narcissist]

That's what I was was confused about in @sosousage 's post. I don't condone it because I've learned it only causes unneeded stress for both parties.

Open relationship.

I'm currently in one. And it is an incredibly satisfying relationship. We love each other to death.

 

[El Payaso]

When you're ready to not get laid anymore

*slow clap* This.

Nothing more needs to be said.

 

[cityboy989]

What does having sex have to do with moving in together?