Before You Go No Contact Forever - Read This

guru1000

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I do not have this kind of faith in women Guru...experience,human nature,other DJ's experience tells me otherwise,I can only make intelligent decisions based on my experience,there are no unicorns.
I just don't think the subject is relevant to contemplate on, if you are not expecting till-death-do-you-part relations. If she cheats, great. If she doesn't cheat, great.

Deesade said:
No. I view it as a sacrifice of my sexual strategy for hers, which it is.

I stop approaching, my skills get rusty (which is part of the point). Meanwhile, she is still getting hit on. Still adjusting and filtering.
I focus on wealth attainment and management primarily. My sexual strategy and "game" skills are of no concern as long as my SMV stays high and she is easily replaceable.
deesade said:
Guru can get multiple exclusive relationships the same day that his one ends, with no cultivation or work at all?

Then he becomes unrelatable to any sort of normal man. And his commentary moot.
Don't be sarcastic. Sex and companionship can be swapped for sex and companionship very easily if you keep your SMV high.

deesade said:
You are grossly wrong, not just based on subjective experience, but as statistical fact.
You fail to factor in the "vetting" process, so dependent upon how one vets, my statistical probability could be quite factual. However, like I stated to Red Legg, worrying about whether she will or will not cheat is irrelevant to me. I'm happy either way.
 

MrJack

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Deep territory here. It's important to choose your words a/k/a "inner talk" carefully. When you project that she disrespected you and how dare she violate your self-respect, you are operating out of emotional rage when you next her. This is not fruitful as you carry the "weight" of this emotional baggage, not she.

If you choose to interpret it as her simply not meeting your relationship preference with no hard feelings and treat her as you would NEXT a plate you were no longer into, you release the baggage, and she now carries the emotional weight.

Same action, different motivation. The motivation you choose to act upon can be self-serving or serve her.

You can't just next an LTR, in your mind, the same way you would a plate because she ISNT a plate, she is an LTR.

The reason you are in an LTR with a woman is because you both made a stronger connection with eachother than that of plates.

So you can't say "oh just next her like you would a plate nbd" unless you are a completely emotionless being.

Now if you were cheating on your LTR girl with other girls the whole time then yea it's a different story because you naturally wouldn't really care. Your LTR is just a "guarenteed sex plate" at that point.

Ever heard the term "leave the girl better than you found her"?

Why get into a relationship with someone if you know you're just going to cheat on her and cause emotional stress for no reason? Never understood that.

Idk please let me know if you think this is just some blue pill thinking left in me that I need to get rid of but it seems like relationships nowadays are just all bullshyt. No such thing as a real relationship.

Slowly gravitating towards staying a bachelor for life mindset because knowing how girls actually operate now, it feels like I could never trust one enough to actually marry one.

Shyt I feel all pessimistic now time for back/biceps day haha :p
 

Macaframalama

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Maybe, maybe not as to their SOs cheating. I personally neither have the time nor care to ascertain whether an exclusive girl is cheating. If I find her cheating, I will happily date the next few hundred women and maybe get into another relation or not. Relationship or no relationship--either way, I'm happy as a pig in shvt.
Curious as to how you could be such a good sport at getting beat at the game? Considering that you are as confident in your vetting process as you seem to be, she has played the game and figured you out, hence the cheating. Ego has got to be a critical element, although balanced does it not? Women are in relationships for one of three things if not a combination or all... Financial gratification, sexual gratification or emotional gratification. Considering you were accurate in your screening process that she just wasn't a complete slvt, you failed to keep her stimulated or intrigued one way or another. How do you expect to level up? Being that we are on this forum I find it hard to believe that you are completely unemotional about it, other than, well happy as you say, unless you truly are content with remaining the same.
 

guru1000

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Curious as to how you could be such a good sport at getting beat at the game? Considering that you are as confident in your vetting process as you seem to be, she has played the game and figured you out, hence the cheating. Ego has got to be a critical element, although balanced does it not? Women are in relationships for one of three things if not a combination or all... Financial gratification, sexual gratification or emotional gratification. Considering you were accurate in your screening process that she just wasn't a complete slvt, you failed to keep her stimulated or intrigued one way or another. How do you expect to level up? Being that we are on this forum I find it hard to believe that you are completely unemotional about it, other than, well happy as you say, unless you truly are content with remaining the same.
1) If she cheats, she's flawed. Why do you feel the need to feel responsible for her failing? You are feeling responsible for her cheating, when SHE was the one not in control of her behavior. Insecurity of your own value is the central issue here if you feel responsible.

2) Why do you have expectations upon another flawed human being who is susceptible to multiple influences which serve her (not you) to not honor her best interest--which, at time, could belie your interests?
 

beforeimgone

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OP is correct. He's simply on a different level to most.

The last time that I went full no-contact on a woman was really just to protect my own arse-ache and ego. And having her on no-contact was really keeping her on a pedestal.

So, what I did was to get a few plates. Work on my abundance. And I really didn't give a sh*t anymore for holding her to any sort of standard different than any other woman.

I decided to get the monkey off my back one night. Try and escalate it to sex, and treat her the same as any other woman in my rotation at the time.

Looked at her Facebook, and then started messaging her. Opening with:

"Why are you being stroppy on facebook, Mrs [Polish name that I purposely mangled for some comedy]?.

Which was a push (something I didn't do enough of in the set prior). She replied (which I didn't expect), we went back and forth, but then she ghosted on my escalation.

And there you were. I was free of it. Never been bothered about her since. Because I finally treated her like a plate, instead of projecting silly white-knight sh*t onto her.

On having a woman do something that greatly displeases you (kiss another guy, or whatever), try this for a completely different dynamic, spank her.

This is the frame of amused mastery. Of a man that is on the level.

The frame of the provider, serial-monogamist, beta, is to "break up with no contact!". Fvck that. That's about protecting your ego.

And if she is truly being an annoying stupid b1tch, then there will be no need for "no-contact", as I haven't needed it in fvcking ages either. You'll actually be naturally done with her, rather than try to pretend you are through playing silly "no-contact" games.

Challenge your inner white-knight, instead of keep coming up with silly ways to protect and nurture it.
Thanks deesade. I'm aware that the way I write is hard to digest. Maybe you could translate my future posts to the masses.

Your frame on amused mastery is nice. I like it, but it's a little more effort than I want to put in. I went through the spanking and degradation phase two years ago. It was cool, but it still kept me attached to her or rather the punishing of her.

Nowadays I give two chances before I go ghost, but when I disappear I wait until she comes back humble and feminine. I don't explain the rules of this game. I let her figure it out. Some do some don't. If she comes back sweet humble and without malice, I let her come back - to do shvt for me. If she doesn't come back then I probably won't realize it. Here are a few things I get annoyed by when dealing with women and the warnings/responses I give:

  • Texting(i want full attention) - "put your phone down"
  • Yelling - "calm down"
  • Not complying with requests - if I ask something and she refuses, I ask for something else and leaves when she refuses or takes too long to do it
  • Lack of excitement to c me - sometimes I'll ask is she happy to c me. If the response isn't up to par, I leave.
  • Refusal for sex - I go caveman every time so if she refuses then I leave - no warning.
  • Shvt tests - too many and I get annoyed in a sense that I feel as if I have better ways to spend my time
I'll usually give a warning. After the warning I walk and soft next until she's nice and feminine again. I can't deal with a not highly interested female. It's a waste of time for me.
 

MrJack

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1) If she cheats, she's flawed. Why do you feel the need to feel responsible for her failing? You are feeling responsible for her cheating, when SHE was the one not in control of her behavior. Insecurity of your own value is the central issue here if you feel responsible.

2) Why do you have expectations upon another flawed human being who is susceptible to multiple influences which serve her (not you) to not honor her best interest--which, at time, could belie your interests?
It's not about FEELING responsible.

You ARE responsible.

You weren't meeting her needs enough for her to not want to cheat on you.

Not to say you should bow down to her every need like a good boy but somewhere along the way she felt your SMV was not high enough for her to stay loyal. In other words you weren't as good as Chad Thundercock.

And we're all here to be better than Chad motherf*cking Thundercock right?!
 

beforeimgone

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Maybe, maybe not as to their SOs cheating. I personally neither have the time nor care to ascertain whether an exclusive girl is cheating. If I find her cheating, I will happily date the next few hundred women and maybe get into another relation or not. Relationship or no relationship--either way, I'm happy as a pig in shvt.
Relationship or no relationship? That's black and white thinking, bud. Don't be fooled into thinking those are the only two options.

Your happiness in either situation most likely means you're indifferent. If she's acting right and being a good ltr then reward her with whatever you choose. If she fvcks up the ltr then use her. That is the premise of this post.

Allow her to come back just enough so that you can get what you want from her without ever allowing her to claim you as hers. In this way, you make her your orbiter.

Nexting her is cool, but you lose whatever you enjoy about her. Maybe she Is: fun to talk to, a great cook, a good fvck, etc. Why give that up just because she isn't ltr material? Use her like a tool whenever youre bored, hungry, horny, etc. Dangle the ltr. It's all a game.

No women will feel the same way you feel about her. Their feelings are propped up by circumstances.
 

beforeimgone

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It's not about FEELING responsible.

You ARE responsible.

You weren't meeting her needs enough for her to not want to cheat on you.

Not to say you should bow down to her every need like a good boy but somewhere along the way she felt your SMV was not high enough for her to stay loyal. In other words you weren't as good as Chad Thundercock.

And we're all here to be better than Chad motherf*cking Thundercock right?!
All women will cheat. The only thing difference is their threshold.
 

Macaframalama

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1) If she cheats, she's flawed. Why do you feel the need to feel responsible for her failing. You are feeling responsible for her cheating, when SHE was the one not in control of her behavior. Your insecurity is the central issue if you feel responsible.
I feel it's a two way street. Say... If I cheated, because she didn't fulfill my sexual needs or she cheated, because I failed to fulfill her emotional needs. I don't feel responsible for someone else's cheating as it's ultimately a choice that they made. I look at it more as a learning experience. I take the hit, feel my emotions, think about it logically and come back sharper. It's like a boxer that thinks his fight game is well rounded until his opponent exposes his defence.
2) Why do you have expectations upon another flawed human being who is susceptible to multiple influences which serve her (not you) to not honor her best interest--which, at time, could belie your interests?
I think we all have some sort of expectation, otherwise let's just throw this whole vetting process out the window. And again, I believe it's a two way street. Everything comes at a cost. We're both having give to get.
 

guru1000

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It's not about FEELING responsible.

You ARE responsible.

You weren't meeting her needs enough for her to not want to cheat on you.
Well if you perceive it this way, it appears you aren't good enough for her. Why would you choose this perception when there are a plethora of other perceptions you can invest into?

For example, if most women do cheat as an example, isn't she doing something she should be doing? What if she simply was just a bad apple? What if she had daddy issues and was approached by a smooth-talking guy that fed that particular daddy need at a vulnerable time in her life? What is she was drunk and made poor decisions when inebriated? What if she were a closet wh0re and just liked to fvck random men? etc.

It's ridiculous that you would place the onus squarely on your shoulders for a flawed action of another flawed human being.

Not to say you should bow down to her every need like a good boy but somewhere along the way she felt your SMV was not high enough for her to stay loyal. In other words you weren't as good as Chad Thundercock.
More self-deprecating thinking. Seek alternate interpretations.
 

Maggsgsr

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It's not about FEELING responsible.

You ARE responsible.

You weren't meeting her needs enough for her to not want to cheat on you.

Not to say you should bow down to her every need like a good boy but somewhere along the way she felt your SMV was not high enough for her to stay loyal. In other words you weren't as good as Chad Thundercock.

And we're all here to be better than Chad motherf*cking Thundercock right?!
Call me old school.. But when did cheating by a man or woman become justified?
 

guru1000

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I feel it's a two way street. Say... If I cheated, because she didn't fulfill my sexual needs or she cheated, because I failed to fulfill her emotional needs. I don't feel responsible for someone else's cheating as it's ultimately a choice that they made. I look at it more as a learning experience. I take the hit, feel my emotions, think about it logically and come back sharper. It's like a boxer that thinks his fight game is well rounded until his opponent exposes his defence.
Excellent.

I think we all have some sort of expectation, otherwise let's just throw this whole vetting process out the window. And again, I believe it's a two way street. Everything comes at a cost. We're both having give to get.
Vetting mitigates, doesn't guarantee.

I expect nothing from people, so I'm rarely disappointed. I have 8 dates scheduled this weekend. If I become exclusive, I lose this freedom. If an exclusive girl cheats on me, she's doing me a favor--that is if I were doltish enough to enter exclusivity and sacrifice all these women I'm entertaining now.

It's all perception. Choose the perception that serves you.
 

Macaframalama

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Well if you perceive it this way, it appears you aren't good enough for her. Why would you choose this perception when there are a plethora of other perceptions you can invest into?

For example, if most women do cheat as an example, isn't she doing something she should be doing? What if she simply was just a bad apple? What if she had daddy issues and was approached by a smooth-talking guy that fed that particular daddy need at a vulnerable time in her life? What is she was drunk and made poor decisions when inebriated? What if she were a closet wh0re and just liked to fvck random men? etc.

It's ridiculous that you would place the onus squarely on your shoulders for a flawed action of another flawed human being.

More self-deprecating thinking. Seek alternate interpretations.
Percieve it how you wish, but it still doesn't change the reality that she cheated on you. Don't get it twisted, the female will always do the choosing. Otherwise, we all wouldn't be on an online forum sharing strategy and pov's. Sure, there's chicks that will drop the panties at the drop of a hat, but who wants that.
 

guru1000

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Percieve it how you wish, but it still doesn't change the reality that she cheated on you.
OK, and? Is her cheating supposed to hurt my feelings? It would be laughable to me, quite honestly, as I didn't expect her faithfulness--even though we agreed on exclusivity. Does this make any sense?
 

guru1000

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Relationship or no relationship? That's black and white thinking, bud. Don't be fooled into thinking those are the only two options.

Your happiness in either situation most likely means you're indifferent. If she's acting right and being a good ltr then reward her with whatever you choose. If she fvcks up the ltr then use her. That is the premise of this post.

Allow her to come back just enough so that you can get what you want from her without ever allowing her to claim you as hers. In this way, you make her your orbiter.

Nexting her is cool, but you lose whatever you enjoy about her. Maybe she Is: fun to talk to, a great cook, a good fvck, etc. Why give that up just because she isn't ltr material? Use her like a tool whenever youre bored, hungry, horny, etc. Dangle the ltr. It's all a game.

No women will feel the same way you feel about her. Their feelings are propped up by circumstances.
My man, I have 8 dates this weekend, had 12 last weekend, had to rain-check most of them. The last thing I need is another girl who wants to bang. My problem is time management, and I certainly would rather bang those troopers who fight the hardest to win me, and those who don't, well they can get in the back of the line, a place I will probably never get to.
 

Macaframalama

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Excellent.

Vetting mitigates, doesn't guarantee.

I expect nothing from people, so I'm rarely disappointed. I have 8 dates scheduled this weekend. If I become exclusive, I lose this freedom. If an exclusive girl cheats on me, she's doing me a favor--that is if I were doltish enough to enter exclusivity and sacrifice all these women I'm entertaining now.

It's all perception. Choose the perception that serves you.
You vet, so you have some sort of expectation. I just find it hard to believe that if she cheated, then it's all La Di Da Di. "If an exclusive girl cheats on me, she's doing me a favor". It's like if I laid small bills around my house, when new acquaintances would come over to see if they're trustworthy or not. It didn't cost me much, but I would still wish I had that money back.
 

guru1000

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You vet, so you have some sort of expectation. I just find it hard to believe that if she cheated, then it's all La Di Da Di. "If an exclusive girl cheats on me, she's doing me a favor". It's like if I laid small bills around my house, when new acquaintances would come over to see if they're trustworthy or not. It didn't cost me much, but I would still wish I had that money back.
I vet to mitigate, not eliminate.

It's two-pronged:
  • Prepare best;
  • Expect worst.
It's simply a matter of adjusting your expectations. Kind of like taking a jungle tiger and training him to be domesticated. One day, the tiger bites your friend's head off. Did you really think this tiger was not susceptible to such as act which is congruent with its nature? Who's to blame: your expectation or the tiger?

It's not the nature of human beings to be sexually loyal. Loyalty is a man-made convention.
 
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