Alcohol, beta behaviour and beating yourself up

[Don Robbo]

Gentlemen,

I found this community around 18 months ago, first off I want to say a massive thank you to all that have posted, this is my first post.

Some background on myself, I'm 27 and from South East London, I box, hunt and fish (when I can) ride a motorbike (all things I love doing) and in the previous 18 months taken a turn for the better in terms of game and also my financial situation.

After getting friend zoned hard 18 months ago I got put onto SS and TRP by a good friend. It helped me get back to not giving a **** about what people and woman especially think about me and helped to get back to what I love doing, instead of worrying about where the next ***** was going to come from. I have no real interest in a relationship but enjoy ****ing (find me a bloke who doesn't). I've maintained a somewhat alpha existence the past year or so, taking girls out when I want and generally working on myself. (Getting in shape, earning £s and writing).

However last weekend took a girl out I've been banging for the last 6 months. Have maintained I don't want a relationship and she's happy just to be fwb. However I went a little OTT with the booze and when I asked if we were going back to hers (she lived a lot closer to where we were than mine) she told me we can but that nothing was going to happen and that it probably wouldn't going forward. I ****ing threw a tantrum. Went full beta (why the **** not? Why you being like this? You *****! Etc etc) and I am overly annoyed at myself. Just wanted to ask the brothers out there, has anyone else had a problem when drunk and if there was any advice for a dude to try and not beat himself up about his behaviour, not to fussed about the bird, trying to understand where the outburst came from. (After watching canelo vs ggg this weekend I've done some serious gym work the past two days but I'm still in my head). Sorry for the long post but any help much appreciated.

Robbo

 

[sosousage]

Keep no contact and she might initiate it.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Feel you man. I've been in this situation too many times. Not so much going beta, but just turning in to an a$$hole, and not in the way women like. If I'm out with a bird I like, I probably limit myself to 3-4 drinks tops these days. Keeping excursions to 2-3 hours (before heading home) ensures you don't end up wasted.

she told me we can but that nothing was going to happen and that it probably wouldn't going forward.

For future reference, this is just a sh!t test. If she wasn't interested in banging, she probably wouldn't be out with you or allowing you back to her place at all. It's a ploy to gain commitment.

End of the day, if she wants commitment and you don't, and she's gonna start using sex as a weapon, it's time to start looking elsewhere for what you want, for both of you really. Your needs don't match, so why perpetuate the issues.

 

[RangerMIke]

I only do a couple of drinks a day. The reason I cut myself off is I grew up in a family of people with addictive personalities, and had a drinking problem in the past. Just be discipline and don't let it get out of control. Alcohol not only screws up your game, but fvcks up your body.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I only do a couple of drinks a day. The reason I cut myself off is I grew up in a family of people with addictive personalities, and had a drinking problem in the past. Just be discipline and don't let it get out of control. Alcohol not only screws up your game, but fvcks up your body.

A few drinks a DAY? Most people only drink on 2 times a week, maybe 3 at most. That's still pretty darn close to addiction if it isn't already.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Feel you man. I've been in this situation too many times. Not so much going beta, but just turning in to an a$$hole, and not in the way women like. If I'm out with a bird I like, I probably limit myself to 3-4 drinks tops these days. Keeping excursions to 2-3 hours (before heading home) ensures you don't end up wasted.


For future reference, this is just a sh!t test. If she wasn't interested in banging, she probably wouldn't be out with you or allowing you back to her place at all. It's a ploy to gain commitment.

End of the day, if she wants commitment and you don't, and she's gonna start using sex as a weapon, it's time to start looking elsewhere for what you want, for both of you really. Your needs don't match, so why perpetuate the issues.

Are the decisions made on alcohol benefitial? Does it improve your mood?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I only do a couple of drinks a day. The reason I cut myself off is I grew up in a family of people with addictive personalities, and had a drinking problem in the past. Just be discipline and don't let it get out of control. Alcohol not only screws up your game, but fvcks up your body.

Tears up the hard work from my fitness efforts very quickly. Even 30 days of it, really sets me back quite a bit! I'm not drinking

 

[soulforge]

Alcohol always fuks up my game.. I tend to get more emotional under the influence of alcohol..

Or someone pushes me too hard, it can make me angry and over react..

I tend not to drink when i go on dates these days.. I generally drink only ONCE a week.. pushing it twice

 

[RangerMIke]

A few drinks a DAY? Most people only drink on 2 times a week, maybe 3 at most. That's still pretty darn close to addiction if it isn't already.

A couple of drinks a day... Two. For me all I drink is red wine so two glasses of red wine a day, max. I don't always have this, but it is my limit. Everyone is different, this is my limit... I know people that can't even do this... know your limit.

 

[Billtx49]

A couple of drinks a day... Two. For me all I drink is red wine so two glasses of red wine a day, max. I don't always have this, but it is my limit. Everyone is different, this is my limit... I know people that can't even do this... know your limit.

Yes. Alcohol consumption in moderation if you're going to drink. If a man does not know his consumption limits and enforce them, and can't control his behavior If exceeded, then he won't be able to control a female interaction.

 

[Roober]

It's funny how before I used to drink to get confidence. Now I feel like if I am out and I drink, it screws me up

 

[FMCSMT]

OP, this is one of those things that Mystery helped out with big time.

Mystery (Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women in Bed) says "No big deal".

You need to tell yourself that. Definitely next them if it seems you are telling yourself this excessively with any given woman.

But always be telling yourself and them:

"No Big Deal"

Over and over again until you learn it.

And just watch how they react. I can't get them to leave. I got stuff to do.

 

[Don Robbo]

Hi All,

Thanks for all the comments and advice. I definitely let my guard down with this one, which is why I ended up so hammered I think. (She's different blah blah blah).

Gone full no contact and taking @FMCSMTs advice on 'no big deal'. Taking an Estonian bird out for the first time this weekend so I can put things into practise again. Also going to see live NFL for the first time on Sunday, which is going to be DOPE!

Life is good brothers, thanks!

Robbo

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Are the decisions made on alcohol beneficial? Does it improve your mood?

I have tended to drink until I'm drunk and even beyond. Then when I'm with or meet a bird, I get extra excitable and start drinking 2-3-4 drinks / hour. A couple of times over the last 18 months, I've got black out drunk, obviously said something, then basically had perfectly fine women telling me they're going home. Both were 8/10, both really in to me - the last one was even sat on my sofa at the time. Something has needed to change, and it's getting better gradually.

Drunk game is not game. It's basically prostitution of charisma. You can have a couple or three drinks of an evening and achieve the same ends; while saving a pile of cash and not poisoning your body. I go out late nowadays, like 11pm-midnight, to remove the temptation of drinking all night.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I have tended to drink until I'm drunk and even beyond. Then when I'm with or meet a bird, I get extra excitable and start drinking 2-3-4 drinks / hour. A couple of times over the last 18 months, I've got black out drunk, obviously said something, then basically had perfectly fine women telling me they're going home. Both were 8/10, both really in to me - the last one was even sat on my sofa at the time. Something has needed to change, and it's getting better gradually.

Drunk game is not game. It's basically prostitution of charisma. You can have a couple or three drinks of an evening and achieve the same ends; while saving a pile of cash and not poisoning your body. I go out late nowadays, like 11pm-midnight, to remove the temptation of drinking all night.

I'm not drinking, and happy that I have full capacity of my resources at all times. If people want to drink around me fine, I'll even buy some drinks on me.

 

[MrJack]

It's funny how before I used to drink to get confidence. Now I feel like if I am out and I drink, it screws me up

I can relate to this. Back in Highschool, getting drunk was literally needed for me to have any chance with a woman.

I still like drinking with women just not to the point of getting drunk.. UNLESS she's getting drunk with me then that pvssy is getting ravaged 9 times out of 10

 

[Fruitbat]

Drinking is good for the first few dates. I love going on a binge with a chick in the intial stages but it's not good for sex. This is how I discovered viagra

Once I am comfortable in her company I relax it. However, after a good days hike I cannot not have a few beers. Kind of a rule.

If you're busy on your life and goals, drinking is fine. It just caps off what you're doing.

The biggest issue with me, is being very drunk makes me brutally honest. Not with her, but with my past. I will tell them about how many drugs I've done and stuff I got up to, which the kind of women I like dating don't approve of.

Told my current plate I smoked week when I was younger recently and she flipped. Prob shouldn't mention the frequent coke and E binges.

All in all, I think if you are training and excercising frequently, alcohol just seems more managable. Without this, it becomes a problem.

 

[Reykhel]

A few drinks a DAY? Most people only drink on 2 times a week, maybe 3 at most. That's still pretty darn close to addiction if it isn't already.

Depends. In Europe a wine or two with your meal each evening is not considered hazardous.

or how about a single malt each evening.

Compare that to binge drinking...