She Broke NC - After 7 weeks

[bigneil]

This guy really got it right:

 

[devilkingx2]

Well, as I documented back in June, the love of my life told me she was in love with someone else and I said goodbye on the spot. That was 7 weeks ago. They say that on average if we walk away people return in 6-8 weeks which was spot on. They also say rebound relationships last 5 weeks on average.

Earlier today, before she wrote, I told a friend how my nerves were on fire and I couldn't believe how much it still hurt not to have her in my life, but that I used the pain to fuel my workout program.

Then at noon today I wrote a list of all of the coincidences that happened that reminded me of her. There were 13 - in 13 weeks (3 months - it's been that long since I actually saw her). It was one year ago this week that I first saw her on stage. I realized the likelihood of her writing to me was extremely high, in fact I predicted she would write today.

Sure enough, as I was looking at the list of coincidences, my phone lit up and it was her. She's now divorced and is back to her old self. I didn't ask any questions but I told her about some of the coincidences on the list and she couldn't believe them (having photos of the new model, the girl she was with when I met her didn't hurt).

I've lost 14 pounds since I last saw her and would like to see if we still have the chemistry we once did. The potential for incredible makeup sex is high.

A lot of friends (none on SS) had suggested I should reach out to her, but the rule I was following was that you end on good terms and then walk away forever until she reaches out. However, I have no hard feelings. She is only 21, and was with her husband since age 14 so she needed time. The time away from her has only reminded me how much I love her, and how hard it is to replace her.

Anyhow, after a text conversation of about 15 texts I shut my phone off. I didn't make plans with her yet.

Your thoughts?

hang out with her and give her some really ludicrous terms for getting back with you ("take full responsibility for the breakup, allow me to have at least 1 side girl, and from now on you must only refer to me as Papi Chulo, even in public") and see if she agrees and follows through, if so you'll know she's serious.

 

[bigneil]

Self-respect will allow you to attract better chicks

There are no better chicks. She was the best so far. I will supplement the next girl with more of her if possible.

 

[bigneil]

hang out with her and give her some really ludicrous terms for getting back with you , if so you'll know she's serious.

This was my strategy all along - she always had to jump through hoops to keep me. More of you should try pushing the envelope this way.

Done correctly, they call you the next day and tell you that they feel like you used them and don't care about them. And you secretly think "Welcome to the club".

 

[Red Legg]

Congratulations... she is a confirmed BPD.I still have BPD's from 25 years ago hoovering me.If you get back with her she will eventually break up with you and then return to hoover you again..oh happy days ! (flush all feels down the toilet)

 

[bigneil]

BPD was never a factor IMO, but do note that even though she was twice diagnosed, I used that as an excuse zero times for why she left me.

She needed to heal issues that happened with her family and high school friends when she was only 14. Unlike most girls who become damaged forever, this is a young lady who know how to solve problems at the root.

 

[switch7]

She needed to heal issues that happened with her family and high school friends when she was only 14. Unlike most girls who become damaged forever, this is a young lady who know how to solve problems at the root.

Whatever she's told you she hasn't solved or isnt solving any problems.

How many 21 year old girls sleep with and have relationships with men in their 40s on average? I'd say les than 5 percent.

She's fvcked up Neil and she isn't changing any time soon, if she had changed she wouldn't be reconnecting.

Just be careful, take everything she says with a grain of salt and put yourself first.

 

[beforeimgone]

Well, as I documented back in June, the love of my life told me she was in love with someone else and I said goodbye on the spot. That was 7 weeks ago. They say that on average if we walk away people return in 6-8 weeks which was spot on. They also say rebound relationships last 5 weeks on average.

Earlier today, before she wrote, I told a friend how my nerves were on fire and I couldn't believe how much it still hurt not to have her in my life, but that I used the pain to fuel my workout program.

Then at noon today I wrote a list of all of the coincidences that happened that reminded me of her. There were 13 - in 13 weeks (3 months - it's been that long since I actually saw her). It was one year ago this week that I first saw her on stage. I realized the likelihood of her writing to me was extremely high, in fact I predicted she would write today.

Sure enough, as I was looking at the list of coincidences, my phone lit up and it was her. She's now divorced and is back to her old self. I didn't ask any questions but I told her about some of the coincidences on the list and she couldn't believe them (having photos of the new model, the girl she was with when I met her didn't hurt).

I've lost 14 pounds since I last saw her and would like to see if we still have the chemistry we once did. The potential for incredible makeup sex is high.

A lot of friends (none on SS) had suggested I should reach out to her, but the rule I was following was that you end on good terms and then walk away forever until she reaches out. However, I have no hard feelings. She is only 21, and was with her husband since age 14 so she needed time. The time away from her has only reminded me how much I love her, and how hard it is to replace her.

Anyhow, after a text conversation of about 15 texts I shut my phone off. I didn't make plans with her yet.

Your thoughts?

She's a slvt. She is tired of the guy she Is currently or just finished dating and you popped into her head. Probably randomly. She isn't worth your love.

I say take all of the money, event tickets, sex, etc from her that you can while she's there and let her hoover back to you when she leaves again. Rinse and repeat forever or until she gets old and decides to settle down. She's just another chick. This one managed to get to you though

 

[Dash Riprock]

Neil,

I'm a mature DJ like you. Let's look at the facts of the case here, in no particular order:

1- She's twenty freaking one. She's practically an adolescent incapable of making cogent adult decisions like you and I can. Biologically, her brain is simply not 100% developed yet.
2- Don't confuse book smarts with emotional maturity. She may be smart (guessing) but has not had enough life experience to develop her emotional maturity to even 30% yet. This will affect every decision she makes.
3- 99% of the women who walk out, dump you, especially the way you got dumped (offering for you to be her cuck) come back for nostalgic reasons. Once this wears off, they're out again.
4- History of poor decision making. If I understand correctly, she was seeing you AND another guy AND was married the first time around? Enough said. See #1.
5- Choices. She will never have more choices in boys (yes, boys because she's still a "girl") than she does now. This does not bode well for you.
6- HUGE age difference. See #2. This WILL rear it's ugly head--guaranteed. Do the math: when she's 34 and in her sexual prime and can date up (men in 40's) or down (men in 20's) you'll be 60. You're well below the standard equation for dating younger: Your Age/2 + 7 = 31.
7- Ego crush. This will hurt exponentially more when (not if) she dumps you again. I've been there. Follow Doc Love's advice and always protect your heart.
8- Get counseling. You display serious signs of co-dependency, my friend, just based on what and how you write on SS. It's a good window into how one thinks. I have issues with this too because I'm also drawn (and can pull) to "damaged" immature women, but am now better at containing it (you're never really 100% cured).

I don't want to see you go through another dumping, guy. It could/will really set you back. Read my list over and over and go NC.

MOVE ON PARTNER.

Good luck.

Dash

 

[Red Legg]

Why would you want to back to someone who ditched you?

I would let her come back if the pvssy was superb (like grade A snapper),I would just divorce myself from my emotions,I don't think bigniel can do that.

 

[Lion1985]

she´s throwing breadcrubs....will doggy bite?

 

[GhostOfCordon]

Exactly. I don't have an abundance of HB9+ girls throwing themselves at me. We put up with more crap from hotter women. My only option is to have sex with her and take it from there. If I hadn't lost 14 lb I might think it would be the same, but I went from looking worse than her bodybuilder ex husband to looking better than him, just since I saw her.

Let's say I find another girl (I did). She has other men in her life also. The odds of a disease are higher when you take a new lover.

Plus, for the first time, she is no longer married. We never had a commitment so she never cheated on me. I got her to leave him.

Bro while I applaud your weight loss, the autism is still strong within you. I saw your recent pics, you are no where close to a body building physique. It is impossible to get that in 3 months.

Cmon.

I strongly recommend that you watch this autistic "body builder". The similarities between you both are striking personality wise.

And I don't get the hang up over this girl. 21. Dating you while married AND another guy. Leaves you for the other guy. And you want her back?


Is your self esteem that low?

 

[exhausted]

considering the state of social decay we are in

alot of guys are uncertain of whether "better" even exists any longer

every man i speak to the same problems keep on cropping up .......

we cant all be wrong

This is exactly my problem and i am in a good field, medical field and it is still impossible to find a good girl. Most nurses are good women they are just all married since their 20s and still going strong 10 years later.

 

[Roober]

I wish you the best of luck, but the song "I'm in love with a stripper" comes to mind.

She left her husband, then ditched you for another guy. That didn't work out and now she is coming back. Your gut has to be screaming this.

Guard your heart because I have a feeling she is about to destroy it.

 

[bigneil]

And I don't get the hang up over this girl. 21. Dating you while married AND another guy. Leaves you for the other guy. And you want her back? Is your self esteem that low?

Wait, you thought if I had an affair with a 21 year old girl and she got divorced she would tell her friends and family "Hey, this is Neil, the 47 year old guy I've been having an affair with for the past year?"

She's a kid. When she told me about the divorce I let her go, because I'm not that foolish. She started seeing the new guy after that. I don't even know if they had sex. Anyhow, she might have come back. Is my supply of HB9+ 21 year old women that low that I would consider taking her back? Yes.

You guys think you can demand that an HB9+ girl be faithful and act like you deserve better. Show me better.

You think I'd rather have a "faithful" woman my age? Women my age are f*cking monsters.

 

[bigneil]

I've told you guys about sub-sentences. When I read our last conversation from June the subsentences said "I love you", "I love you", "I love you", so I figured she'd be back.

Consider her opening line after 7 weeks of NC:

"Just letting you know I'm going to..." (start my new job that you got me this week).

This contains two more subtle subsentences:

"Just letting you".
"You know I'm going to".

Is this her submission?

To Be Continued...

 

[BeTheChange]

Neil,

I'm a mature DJ like you. Let's look at the facts of the case here, in no particular order:

1- She's twenty freaking one. She's practically an adolescent incapable of making cogent adult decisions like you and I can. Biologically, her brain is simply not 100% developed yet.
2- Don't confuse book smarts with emotional maturity. She may be smart (guessing) but has not had enough life experience to develop her emotional maturity to even 30% yet. This will affect every decision she makes.
3- 99% of the women who walk out, dump you, especially the way you got dumped (offering for you to be her cuck) come back for nostalgic reasons. Once this wears off, they're out again.
4- History of poor decision making. If I understand correctly, she was seeing you AND another guy AND was married the first time around? Enough said. See #1.
5- Choices. She will never have more choices in boys (yes, boys because she's still a "girl") than she does now. This does not bode well for you.
6- HUGE age difference. See #2. This WILL rear it's ugly head--guaranteed. Do the math: when she's 34 and in her sexual prime and can date up (men in 40's) or down (men in 20's) you'll be 60. You're well below the standard equation for dating younger: Your Age/2 + 7 = 31.
7- Ego crush. This will hurt exponentially more when (not if) she dumps you again. I've been there. Follow Doc Love's advice and always protect your heart.
8- Get counseling. You display serious signs of co-dependency, my friend, just based on what and how you write on SS. It's a good window into how one thinks. I have issues with this too because I'm also drawn (and can pull) to "damaged" immature women, but am now better at containing it (you're never really 100% cured).

I don't want to see you go through another dumping, guy. It could/will really set you back. Read my list over and over and go NC.

MOVE ON PARTNER.

Good luck.

Dash

Almost made sense until I read half way through.

34 is a woman's sexual prime? Lol. Ok then.

 

[Glassguy]

Wait, you thought if I had an affair with a 21 year old girl and she got divorced she would tell her friends and family "Hey, this is Neil, the 47 year old guy I've been having an affair with for the past year?"

She's a kid. When she told me about the divorce I let her go, because I'm not that foolish. She started seeing the new guy after that. I don't even know if they had sex. Anyhow, she might have come back. Is my supply of HB9+ 21 year old women that low that I would consider taking her back? Yes.

You guys think you can demand that an HB9+ girl be faithful and act like you deserve better. Show me better.

You think I'd rather have a "faithful" woman my age? Women my age are f*cking monsters.

We are smart enough to know that any decent looking 21 year old that already has emotional issues wont be faithful. Nothing to prove here, she has already validated that point.

 

[Lion1985]

I've told you guys about sub-sentences. When I read our last conversation from June the subsentences said "I love you", "I love you", "I love you", so I figured she'd be back.

Consider her opening line after 7 weeks of NC:

"Just letting you know I'm going to..." (start my new job that you got me this week).

This contains two more subtle subsentences:

"Just letting you".
"You know I'm going to".

Is this her submission?

To Be Continued...

in german pick up scene, what you are doing here, we call "Puzzy-Diagnose-Modus"
"Puzzy-Diagnose-Modus" = deeply analyzing female behavior.. step by step = to rack one´s brain
you are intrepreting to much -> logic vs emotion, forget it,......she is throwing breadcrumbs, no more, no less....

 

[bigneil]

in german pick up scene, what you are doing here, we call "Puzzy-Diagnose-Modus"
"Puzzy-Diagnose-Modus" = deeply analyzing female behavior.. step by step = to rack one´s brain
you are intrepreting to much -> logic vs emotion, forget it,......she is throwing breadcrumbs, no more, no less....

There is a lot of truth in the words people use. This is a tactic used by the FBI when they interrogate a person.

Fact: a person saying "I would kill for a chance to see you" is worse than their saying "I would love to see you". One way I seduced her was using seductive language, choosing my words carefully. By the same token, "No problem" is worse than "You're welcome".

Last September she texted "I do love your warm hands" and I said "Do you realize that you just confessed your love? You used the words "I love you" in that order in a sentence. Freudian slip?" Then when she showed up for our first date she said "I love your bow tie" and I said "You did it again!" as she caught herself. She proved me right later that night, and for nearly a year after. I hope to recreate that evening.