FIRST DATE RAPPORT - Is she playing games?

TheGambino

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
2,704
Reaction score
930
Location
Somewhere
Know this HB9 for a couple of years but not very well. Mutual friends and she disappeared for college in Amsterdam. She came down the shop where I work for bathroom materials, I helped her with it.
Flirted there and jumped intoo her in a club a couple of days later. We danced, handled it like a DJ all night and she digged it.

Asked her out for yesterday and we were set.

First we went for a drink at a bar, then to a club.

She's smart, a company psychologist, completed her masters degree. I love that.
Her passion is dancing salsa, she's a vegan and there we go.... she tells me that she's a feminist. Next to that she has one amazing body and a cute face. That for, the complete package I rate her a 9.

I asked her lots and lots of questions, let her do 80% of the talking. Questions like where did you grow up, what's the funniest thing that ever happened to you, what are your passions... She kept talking, ofcourse she loved to talk about herself and she asked me lots of questions too.

She tells me she didn't have a serious LTR since 2011, she doesn't sleep around at all, she worries about being alone for such a long time. But she doesn't like guys in her city that f8ck around until their 35 then settle. If she has cex it has to be a serious thing she tells me lol.

When she told me she's a feminist, my honest reaction was negativly shocked for a second, and she saw it in me. We had a small discussion about that, equal rights man/women duududu whatever.

Anyway we went to the club. AWESOME night. I rocked her night and she rocked mine. We danced for hours straight, moving her to different places, grabbing her hand to dance, grinded a bit. We both love to dance so we were rocking the dancefloor together and I could see that she was super happy all night.

I came on hard, girls were eyeing me because she's so beautiful and she knows I get around. (extra info)

In the car we went on questioning each other and then she wants to stop on the road to smoke a cig and talk some more. We stop I sit on my car hood with her, we talk some and I go for the kiss she rejects. "Noo sorryy my feeling says no''

Ignored it, just laughed it off and started a new subject like nothing happened. In the car I grabb her hand and we do the cute little couple hand thing all the way back home.

I invite her in for a drink she declines, I laugh and tell her to do 1 drink with me and watch the stars.

She accepts my offer and we do a drink, after a fun convo again I try to kiss her one more time at my doorstep but she refuses again. ''Im not like that''

The date went smoothly, did everything the correct way and had a AWESOME night overall. But not so sure what to think about the kissing rejections. enlighten me.

 

ChristopherColumbus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2016
Messages
2,315
Reaction score
1,278
Age
57
Location
korea
With all the information she gave you, why didn't you slow the escalation down... and work on a 3 or 4 date timeline?
 

TheGambino

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
2,704
Reaction score
930
Location
Somewhere
Hmm guess my testosterone made a jump. Didn't overdo it, I described what I did.
I realize that I probably have to downscale with this broad.
 

pyros

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 31, 2011
Messages
1,690
Reaction score
200
its not that difficult:

a) she is actually fvcking some other guy and she just went out with you to have some fun/validation
b) she finds you nice, but you dont make her wet

In any case, she is a waste of time.
 

lizardking82

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2016
Messages
1,896
Reaction score
1,560
Well, not kissing on the first date after having so much fun is not usually a good sign, but I say go on a second date, this time a cheaper one, shorter one, and go for the kiss again. If she still refuses, abandon mission then. Not worth it
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,231
Reaction score
5,636
Sounds like she either disqualified you hard on what she has heard of you or she isn't overly interested.

Having lots of fun on a date and a chick actually being interested in you don't always correspond with one another.
 

TheGambino

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
2,704
Reaction score
930
Location
Somewhere
Hmm my gut says shes a pain in the a$$. Debating on CP so setting up a new date next week or nexting..
 

TheGambino

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
2,704
Reaction score
930
Location
Somewhere
Touched her but a lot even grabbed her tit in the club lmao while dancing I dont think she liked iT with her feminist crap
 

TheGambino

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
2,704
Reaction score
930
Location
Somewhere
Ha. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You can "next" if you want, but the way I look at it, if I'm going to next anyway, why not just try something different to experiment? If it fails, whatever, I move on like I would have anyway. If it works, maybe I learn something new. Can't hurt.
Ill do it and report back bro
 

CMNILS87

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
915
Reaction score
669
Age
37
Ill do it and report back bro
Eew next after her smoking a cigarette. Cmon man have some standards. You'd be kissing an ash tray.

I think from a 3rd perspective like everyone else is saying, if you had such a great time and were grinding what's the deal with the kiss. Not a big deal, but shot down multiple times, feminist, and too much talking. You need to tease tease tease. This is a girl that would fall hardcore for an Alpha no ****s given player and whip the legs open super fast.

I'd go ghost, no need for a 2nd date. She's been on multiple dates this week and is fishing for a whale.
 

CMNILS87

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Messages
915
Reaction score
669
Age
37
Great dude, this is how DJ's help eachother. Im going to grab a coffee and read your story.
Your problem is you overhyped your date in your head. Afterwards you're on cloud 9 and are like "damn that was a good date". You might have came off desperate.

When you start treating a date like any other date, it's like another raindrop in a 5 gallon pail, nothing special. Remember while you're asking questions and she's doing dumb ****, start disqualifying her right away and knock her off that pedestal.

Just go on lots of dates and get that experience in and treat it just like a hangout. You'll come off as super aloof and whatever.

I also saw that post you deleted right away about going mental about her not texting back.
QUIT IT YOU *****. Turn your hamster off. F you're busy with something, you could care less or text back at your own leisure.
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,543
Reaction score
2,238
Location
NYC
In the car we went on questioning each other and then she wants to stop on the road to smoke a cig and talk some more. We stop I sit on my car hood with her, we talk some and I go for the kiss she rejects. "Noo sorryy my feeling says no''

Ignored it, just laughed it off and started a new subject like nothing happened. In the car I grabb her hand and we do the cute little couple hand thing all the way back home.

I invite her in for a drink she declines, I laugh and tell her to do 1 drink with me and watch the stars.

She accepts my offer and we do a drink, after a fun convo again I try to kiss her one more time at my doorstep but she refuses again. ''Im not like that''
never talk to her again unless she asks you out. she has done her best to show zero interest
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,543
Reaction score
2,238
Location
NYC
With all the information she gave you, why didn't you slow the escalation down... and work on a 3 or 4 date timeline?
why would you want to go on 3 or 4 dates with someone who wouldn't even kiss you? that's just throwing good money after bad
 

bigneil

Banned
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
8,377
Reaction score
2,696
Location
Texas
No kiss is a bigger deal than we would hope. Truth be told, if she doesn't come straight home and get naked, she could have liked us more.
 

CodeOfAtlas

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 19, 2017
Messages
15
Reaction score
10
Age
34
Ignored it, just laughed it off and started a new subject like nothing happened. In the car I grabb her hand and we do the cute little couple hand thing all the way back home.
IMO Should have stopped forward progress her. Be polite but time wrap up the date.

After she rejects you, she needs to be the one to reach out to you. In this case, you reached out to her; I'd be surprised if she enjoyed this hand holding move you made.

It's her turn to prove why you should spend any more time with her. You've made your desire known, the ball is in her court now. I'd personally only spend time on a woman if she was happy to kiss me back on the first date (or more).
 

TheGambino

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
2,704
Reaction score
930
Location
Somewhere
She replied tonight.

Gambino! Thanks for checking upon me.
Im heading back to X city.

Me: Ok have a good journey

Her: Are you tired ? dudududud

brief chat

Kept it short and simple.

Not going to reach out anymore
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,719
Reaction score
6,695
Age
55
She replied tonight.

Gambino! Thanks for checking upon me.
Im heading back to X city.

Me: Ok have a good journey

Her: Are you tired ? dudududud

brief chat

Kept it short and simple.

Not going to reach out anymore
Did she shut you down? As in I'm going back to "X" city never to be heard from again?

She either toyed with you or she's very cautious. You'll have to discern which.

Here's the bit you are missing.

This thread shouldn't be about her. This thread should be about you. Think how much social proof you gain being seen with her and by leaving with her. The only two people who know what happened after y'all left is you and her. Not anyone else. If anyone asks say you never kiss & tell, smile & leave it at that.

All the other girls out that night saw you arrive and leave with a 9. There is your leverage.

She out gamed you this round in any case just as she has done countless times before.
 

darksprezzatura

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 22, 2017
Messages
1,364
Reaction score
1,751
Let's break this down.

1) Feminist
2) Smoker
3) Overtly said she doesn't sleep around
4) Overtly talked about guys fvcking around
5) Overtly told sex is serious.
6) Has been riding the carousel since 2011
7) Rejected kissing twice

In my opinion, she's an alpha widow who's jumped chad to chad, trying to bury her past and reinventing herself.

She's pigeonholing you into a provider role which might have nothing to do with you.

Happened with me once with a lawyer feminist too, pump and dump tops bro.

Maintain contact if she keeps initiating, otherwise she's a waste of time and attention.
 
Top