Why do men commit?

[Urbanyst]

When women don't?

Have you noticed that women don't usually commit to LTR's unless they are the ones making all the rules of the LTR? And you have most guys acting like castrated puppies with "curfews".

So many of my friends in LTR's have curfews or certain days they are not allowed to hang (like Saturday today) because their GF or wife won't allow it. Sometimes I'm tempted to refer to all their partners as "mom" when talking to them.

But these girlfriends and wives can take a "girls day" any f*cking day of the week they want. Its only the stupid man who has rules to follow OR ELSE. The only thing women are committed to is ensuring you stay castrated and don't have too much fun without them. At the same time she is sitting on the lap of her male co-workers claiming she is "working late" while your dumb ass is telling your friends "I can't hang tonight because I have plans with the Gf/Wife.

When did men as a gender become so f*cking stupid?

Oh yeah.. and who initiates most breakups? Women. Because they don't commit.

 

[AttackFormation]

Turn yourself into a winner and don't worry about what losers do with their lives. That's my overall response to this concern.

 

[Urbanyst]

Turn yourself into a winner and don't worry about what losers do with their lives. That's my overall response to this concern.

I hear ya.

The times when I actually do get to hang out or drink with my LTR male friends they like to say "I'm going to live vicariously through you tonight" in reference to hitting on women. What I want to tell them is: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO.. just stop being a castrated b*tch".

Oh well.

 

[Red Legg]

I have been in an LTR with a single mom for 7 months.I have done the plate-spinning thing in my life and spun lot's of them.OP I see you are 33 and still young,your view will probably change as you grow older, I am 46.There are benefits to LTR's and it doesn't mean your getting married.I live 90 miles from my girlfriend and never ask permission to do what I want,we rotate every weekend driving to see each other.I don't have to wear protection and we enjoy each other's company immensely,she even pays for most dates.I find plate spinning at my age to be tiring and time consuming when I could be focusing on more important things.The key here and the reason why I think we have worked so far is that we give each other tones of space.I don't live vicariously through anyone,your friends are doing LTR's wrong IMO.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Essentially we're dealing with a double edge sword here. It's often preached on this site to set boundaries, hold the frame, put your woman in her place, etc. but the FACT of the matter is that most women will dump your ass for doing that because they are getting so much male attention and have a-lot of options AND a-lot of tremendously f*cked up ideas in their head about what a healthy relationship and dynamic is between a man and a woman, romantically. She won't think "Oh he's the MAN and sets the rules and I'm so turned on by his ability to act like the MAN", etc. What she'll actually think, at least after normalcy and comfortability has set in in your LTR is "How dare he treat me like this. I am a WOMAN! I have rights and am not his lesser than. I'll show him". This is especially true if she perceives you as higher value than she is. She'll only obey and submit as long as she has those butterflies about you. Once that's gone, she'll still walk.

They've been conditioned to act this way by the last 60ish years of society because of feminism. They will intentionally throw a good relationship and a high value man down the drain to prove a point. It is TERRIBLY sad but I'd rather be the guy that has his woman leave him because he won't budge on his principles than one of these betas that OP is describing. I've got two "managers" at my current job who both joked the other day about how they didn't get the new apartment they wanted and went, instead, with what their girlfriends wanted. One's reasoning was because one of the apartments didn't have enough space for HER shoes. These are guys in the prime of their lives (late 20s, making close to 6 figures and are throwing it all down the drain for these hag women who are getting ready to settle down after riding the CC for the past several years. One look at their FB proves that these women have settled on these men.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When women don't?

Have you noticed that women don't usually commit to LTR's unless they are the ones making all the rules of the LTR? And you have most guys acting like castrated puppies with "curfews".

So many of my friends in LTR's have curfews or certain days they are not allowed to hang (like Saturday today) because their GF or wife won't allow it. Sometimes I'm tempted to refer to all their partners as "mom" when talking to them.

But these girlfriends and wives can take a "girls day" any f*cking day of the week they want. Its only the stupid man who has rules to follow OR ELSE. The only thing women are committed to is ensuring you stay castrated and don't have too much fun without them. At the same time she is sitting on the lap of her male co-workers claiming she is "working late" while your dumb ass is telling your friends "I can't hang tonight because I have plans with the Gf/Wife.

When did men as a gender become so f*cking stupid?

Oh yeah.. and who initiates most breakups? Women. Because they don't commit.

In most work places sitting in the laps of male co-workers would be considered inappropriate. If she's doing multiple it'll be a huge unavoidable distraction that would be taken care of by management and hr.

 

[Jifto]

Essentially we're dealing with a double edge sword here. It's often preached on this site to set boundaries, hold the frame, put your woman in her place, etc. but the FACT of the matter is that most women will dump your ass for doing that because they are getting so much male attention and have a-lot of options. She won't think "Oh he's the MAN and sets the rules and I'm so turned on by his ability to act like the MAN", etc. What she'll actually think, at least after normalcy and comfortability has set in in your LTR is "How dare he treat me like this. I am a WOMAN! I have rights and am not his lesser than. I'll show him". This is especially true if she perceives you as higher value than she is. She'll only obey and submit as long as she has those butterflies about you. Once that's gone, she'll still walk.

I couldn't agree more with this. I've been diving into the literature that is often referred to on this site (The Way of the Superior Man, The Rational Male, The Rules of the Game, No More Mr. Nice Guy, and Corey Wayne's book) but also psychology books on how women think and actual studies on relationships. My hypothesis is that you need to use Red Pill type tactics at the beginning to build the suspense, create the fantasy, etc. but that you need to shift to being a good dude at some point. This is probably a very gradual thing that should occur and I think the key is to let it occur on your terms. Not hers.

I still have a ton of work to do, but my next plate to LTR I will try to turn into the good guy without it being perceived that she is making me do that. Easier said than done!

 

[Red Legg]

She'll only obey and submit as long as she has those butterflies about you. Once that's gone, she'll still walk.

Yes she will walk I agree...that's why it's important that a woman genuinely "likes" you (after years I know the difference) and is genuinely attracted to you sexually when you find a woman like this it is very rare."Clicking" in the bedroom also is not common.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I couldn't agree more with this. I've been diving into the literature that is often referred to on this site (The Way of the Superior Man, The Rational Male, The Rules of the Game, No More Mr. Nice Guy, and Corey Wayne's book) but also psychology books on how women think and actual studies on relationships. My hypothesis is that you need to use Red Pill type tactics at the beginning to build the suspense, create the fantasy, etc. but that you need to shift to being a good dude at some point. This is probably a very gradual thing that should occur and I think the key is to let it occur on your terms. Not hers.

I still have a ton of work to do, but my next plate to LTR I will try to turn into the good guy without it being perceived that she is making me do that. Easier said than done!

The trick is, as you have said, starting off with that red pill frame. Most guys are beta right off the bat and stay that way. It's better to come across as the tamed alpha than the full time always has been always will be beta. If you hold out on alpha for too long she'll walk. But the guys the OP is describing and the guys I described who I work with are clearly full time beta from the beginning. You can tell just the way they talk about these women.

The only thing I'll add to this though is I wouldn't put it past a-lot of women to actually start treating you like a beta if you start acting that way EVEN after you initially came across as alpha. I honestly would rather hold my frame permanently and let women walk than become 'house-broken'. I think that is the ultimate screening tool, i.e. this woman is willing to submit to me and let me lead this relationship or I don't need her. This is serious red pill thinking and I could very well be wrong but is there not too much to lose by acting otherwise?

 

[bigneil]

Since 1989 I have observed really good friends of mine turn into complete wussies when they get a girlfriend and/or married. "We have to go to her sister's house today". Often for girls who I had used and abused (or passed up altogether). It is called being whipped.

In my case I would bed the hottest girl and have some wild stories, then get rid of her or (in many cases) get dumped. But it was worth it.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Women are sexually attractive, screw Plato time I am not sharing love with a man. Number 1, they are ugly as hell and their body aesthetics are not attractive. My problem with women is that I just find them extremely annoying and childish. How can I respect something that I can mold, that I can make swallow my juice? To totally degrade? Its hard for me it really is, women are to impressionable and they are not smart

 

[Urbanyst]

I am convinced the idea of romantic relationships is a man made invention. Kings created the institution of marriage because some kingdoms would have a shortage of women and the king wanted to make sure each peasant could only have 1 woman. The church would ordain the concept of marriage and suddenly people think its divine.

There was a time when the idea of romance was between men (Plato's time), and women were just there to produce children.

In some societies men had harems. In other societies, young people fvck like rabbits and the village raises the children, not the people doing the fvckin.

I haven't met a woman I could tolerate spending every day with since probably 2014. And even then she had her annoying moments.

I am not saying ltrs are a bad thing, but don't expect another flawed person is going to make you happy. Know what you are signing up for.

So the original question of "why commit?" comes back.

When I first came to So Suave I was purple pill (even though I thought I was red pill). And was trying to figure out why I never had a LTR last longer than a year. After reading a lot of the material on this forum and doing some heaving thinking and soul searching, I came to realize a few things:

• Committing to a woman is kind of stupid, unless it will make you MONEY or help your career
• Most women would rather sh*t test you than enjoy your company
• Women usually value image over substance
• Most of what our culture teaches is bullsh*t
• Commitment is a one way street. A woman's only commitment is to adding VALUE to her own life.
• Women almost never tell the truth about anything related to relationships (if they did, this forum would not exist)
• Today's women support male gender roles, but reject female gender roles
• MONEY will treat you better than any woman
• Women are natural born frauds. Which explains their abrupt changes in mood and behavior.
• Women are less emotional than men. They use outward (fake) display of emotion to make MEN emotional. Crocodile tears is another term for it.
• Emotionally unavailable is a code word for a man who isn't "whipped" and therefore has limited usefulness

This is where my mind is right now. Kind of dark, and I'm mildly bitter about it. However, it makes attracting and having sex with women a little easier since I know what I'm signing up for. The downside is it has become harder to enjoy women's company because I see through every game, sh*t test and crocodile tear.

I still meet new plates and start out hopeful that MAYBE this one is different. But like clock work, I'll get a sh*t test or a mind game and then I know she is just another jizz dumpster I will never commit to. I can't commit to a fraud. I need a relationship of honestly that is free of games.

 

[Urbanyst]

Women are more obsessed with power games than actually finding love.

That's what's so disgusting. It makes me sick to my stomach and it makes me want to just use women for sex and discard them. But all women are not despicable people. My biggest fear when dealing with women is treating a sh*t woman like gold and treating a good woman like trash.

I wish the c*nty one's had a mark on their forehead or something so I would know to jizz in her eye if we have sex so it can be crusted over the next morning when she wakes up.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's what's so disgusting. It makes me sick to my stomach and it makes me want to just use women for sex and discard them. But all women are not despicable people. My biggest fear when dealing with women is treating a sh*t woman like gold and treating a good woman like trash.

I wish the c*nty one's had a mark on their forehead or something so I would know to jizz in her eye if we have sex so it can be crusted over the next morning when she wakes up.

The $hit ones show out early. Also the gold ones are very nice please don't make them pay for the trash.

 

[Trump]

But these girlfriends and wives can take a "girls day" any f*cking day of the week they want. Its only the stupid man who has rules to follow OR ELSE. The only thing women are committed to is ensuring you stay castrated and don't have too much fun without them. At the same time she is sitting on the lap of her male co-workers claiming she is "working late" while your dumb ass is telling your friends "I can't hang tonight because I have plans with the Gf/Wife.

Oh yeah.. and who initiates most breakups? Women. Because they don't commit.

Bro why are you taking it so personally? Your friends haven't insulted you, they haven't put you down, they haven't stolen your money. If they can't hang out Saturday night, end of story. It's THEIR problem and they have their own issues. If they agreed and then backed out you'd have a right to be upset, but to tell you they can't because they are watching a movie/cooking/going to the park/meeting friends/having sex, whatever, just say "OK no problem" and move on.

Just go with the flow and use things that happen to your benefit.

It is pointless to get angry at things that are dumb, stupid, unjust, unfair, if they don't affect you personally.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Essentially we're dealing with a double edge sword here. It's often preached on this site to set boundaries, hold the frame, put your woman in her place, etc. but the FACT of the matter is that most women will dump your ass for doing that because they are getting so much male attention and have a-lot of options AND a-lot of tremendously f*cked up ideas in their head about what a healthy relationship and dynamic is between a man and a woman, romantically. She won't think "Oh he's the MAN and sets the rules and I'm so turned on by his ability to act like the MAN", etc. What she'll actually think, at least after normalcy and comfortability has set in in your LTR is "How dare he treat me like this. I am a WOMAN! I have rights and am not his lesser than. I'll show him". This is especially true if she perceives you as higher value than she is. She'll only obey and submit as long as she has those butterflies about you. Once that's gone, she'll still walk.

They've been conditioned to act this way by the last 60ish years of society because of feminism. They will intentionally throw a good relationship and a high value man down the drain to prove a point. It is TERRIBLY sad but I'd rather be the guy that has his woman leave him because he won't budge on his principles than one of these betas that OP is describing. I've got two "managers" at my current job who both joked the other day about how they didn't get the new apartment they wanted and went, instead, with what their girlfriends wanted. One's reasoning was because one of the apartments didn't have enough space for HER shoes. These are guys in the prime of their lives (late 20s, making close to 6 figures and are throwing it all down the drain for these hag women who are getting ready to settle down after riding the CC for the past several years. One look at their FB proves that these women have settled on these men.

I agree 100%. Case in point review my OP from a couple weeks back: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...e-gone-nc-right-wrong-thoughts-please.242188/.

Bottom line: Went exclusive with a HB9.5 after she came on strong and really pushed for it. I'd known her for a while and we had a lot of fun, lot's of good chemistry etc., so why not. A short time later I called her out for very bad behavior after she had a nuclear meltdown and flew into a jealous rage at the dog park because I merely LOOKED at another woman. I walked home alone after she wouldn't walk with me. When she did come home 5 minutes after I did, she changed into nicer clothes she initially came over with, said she didn't need a ride as she could get one, wasn't interested in anything I had to say and walked out. I let her walk and didn't chase. I assume she changed into nicer clothes because one of her beta orbiters met her somewhere and gave her a ride.

So far it's been NC by her and me for three weeks. I suspect now we will never talk again. Despite the high value I continually demonstrated and she validated along with the very high interest level she had (it was off the charts until this episode), she left me to prove a point, rather than apologize and try to work things out as the OP states.

So per @btownbuck2012 post, my exgf, the HB9.5, chose a beta over me (I assume as I haven't heard from her) because I called her out for bad behavior (I mean she literally stood there with her mouth open in dismay when I did it--like no man ever dared to do this before) and hasn't called to apologize--just to prove a point.

So if women are naturally attracted to more confident, DJ, non-s*it taking men, who stand up for themselves, why do they leave these men (me) and choose the beta--the supplicating she-male who gives into every demand and dares not to cross them? Makes no sense. A woman of value CANNOT be satisfied with a guy like this.

So the theory goes: Man dates hot HB9-10. Man acts DJ. Woman becomes wildly attracted. Woman misbehaves or **** tests DJ. DJ, being a DJ calls out woman for bad behavior. Woman says "How dare you! I always get what I want! Plus, with all the dating apps available I have MANY options and orbiters right now, GOODBYE!" Woman runs to beta--because he's always there. Woman eventually gets sick of beta because he's such a wuss. Woman meets a DJ and falls for him because he's a real MAN. And the cycle repeats...

True?

Thoughts?

 

[Red Legg]

why do they leave these men (me) and choose the beta--the supplicating she-male who gives into every demand and dares not to cross them?

I have dated many HB8 + women,as you know they have may many options,the blonde haired blue eyed beauty woman I am with now has countless orbiters.This HB9.5 could walk up to any man in the US and say "let's fvck" and get instant results,so you have to stand out and above the rest.This HB 9 did not "like" you she may have fvcked you and hung out with you but she did not like you.She "loved bombed" you in the beginning and inflated your ego and gave you the big head this was ingenious on her part ( even though she didn't like you) to draw you in and make you think that she did.She wanted to see what your reaction was and to see if you bought the Bullsh!t she was spinning and it sounds like you did buy it.Once you bought it,it turned her off and she left you.The blonde I am seeing now tried the same thing with me in the beginning telling me everyday that I was awesome...I told her to cut her bullsh!t out.I wondered if she really liked me or not.I found out weeks later that she did actually like me because of my interest in Civil War battles and history (weird I know for a chick to be interested in this kind of thing) I found a giant book underneath her bed about Civil War battles (I almost fainted) she loves me because of our shared interest in history,we talk about it for hours and hours.So in short the next time an HB9 starts to blow your head up and tell you that you are the best thing since sliced bread DO NOT BELIEVE IT,if you do believe it it makes you look weak.Find out if she genuinely likes you or not,this can take time to find out.The beta orbiter that she ran to will not believe her if she tells him that he is awesome (like you did) so she might genuinely like the beta over you.

 

[AttackFormation]

our shared interest in history

What?

You found a woman interested in history???

 

[Red Legg]

What?

You found a woman interested in history???

Yes I did.. Civil War battle history at that....as rare as the gold of Ophir.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I have dated many HB8 + women,as you know they have may many options,the blonde haired blue eyed beauty woman I am with now has countless orbiters.This HB9.5 could walk up to any man in the US and say "let's fvck" and get instant results,so you have to stand out and above the rest.This HB 9 did not "like" you she may have fvcked you and hung out with you but she did not like you.She "loved bombed" you in the beginning and inflated your ego and gave you the big head this was ingenious on her part ( even though she didn't like you) to draw you in and make you think that she did.She wanted to see what your reaction was and to see if you bought the Bullsh!t she was spinning and it sounds like you did buy it.Once you bought it,it turned her off and she left you.The blonde I am seeing now tried the same thing with me in the beginning telling me everyday that I was awesome...I told her to cut her bullsh!t out.I wondered if she really liked me or not.I found out weeks later that she did actually like me because of my interest in Civil War battles and history (weird I know for a chick to be interested in this kind of thing) I found a giant book underneath her bed about Civil War battles (I almost fainted) she loves me because of our shared interest in history,we talk about it for hours and hours.So in short the next time an HB9 starts to blow your head up and tell you that you are the best thing since sliced bread DO NOT BELIEVE IT,if you do believe it it makes you look weak.Find out if she genuinely likes you or not,this can take time to find out.The beta orbiter that she ran to will not believe her if she tells him that he is awesome (like you did) so she might genuinely like the beta over you.

Doubtful. She pursued me HUGE. I was seeing another woman at the time. Kept asking "what does she have that I don't, etc., etc. Showed huge jealously even as I was getting ready for work, "How many women are going to hit on you today?" Kept really pushing for a committed relationship. Accepted every date, on time, had a blast, kept wanting to hang out more, etc. These are not things women do who don't like you.

I honestly think she had never been called out on bad behavior before and felt the need to win over the need to apologize. once told me on a earlier date, "Are you telling me no? I usually get what I want" after I said no to her request to come over after a dinner date. Sad. Typical behavior for a HB9+. Because most of them really lack self esteem, it pumps them up to "dump" (in their mind) a confident, attractive, DJ, knowing there are 20 orbiters she can control. A classic case of a Professional Manipulator.

Too bad 98% of all HB9+'s are like this. Wonder what happens to them when they turn 40+ and their looks are gone but the b*tchy princess attitude isn't?

Rarely do men get dumped for being too much of a man. I will never sell out or compromise.

The more I think about it, I'm done pursuing HB9+ women even though historically I can land many/most of them. Given the advent of dating apps and beta men fawning all over them, their view of reality is seriously warped. HB7-8's from here on out.