NC for 6 weeks, ready to be over this shyt person

[Jifto]

1) Listen to Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks (complete album from 1975).

I love Dylan.

2) Keep waiting (it clicks off someday soon - I just clicked off day 30).

This is what I'm waiting on. One foot forward each day until then, I suppose.

3) Pursue other women.

I'm actively meeting up with women on OLD and looking for opportunities as they present themselves. I'm even making an effort to flirt with women that I'm not attracted to.

4) Work out.

6 days a week brother. Been that way for a long time. I can say with some certainty, my physique is not an issue (although I'm always striving to improve it!)

5) Improve.

I am trying. A bit of monk mode going on. Reading about red pill, stoicism, relationship psychology, general self help, etc. Meditating every day. Keeping a small social life going. Working hard at work. Researching style / getting new clothes.

6) Wait until she reaches out (they always do).

She may, she may not. When I broke it off, I didn't mince words. I wasn't mean to her, but I let her know how frustrating the situation was and told her it was over. She tried to contact me 2 times a few days after the breakup and I stayed NC.

 

[Jifto]

This type of break up can take longer to recover from.. possibly a cluster b, plus she treated you like chit..

But the hardest part to get over from this type of break up is..

Why the fuk did I let this happen?

Where was my self worth and dignity?

That's the kinda chit that eats away at you the most..

Add to that the freaky addictive sex..

I know how you feel about that man.. I just dumped a plate that was a crazy FREAK in bed..

The things this girl did.. jeeez..

Soulforge - You get it. Yes it's a mixture of:

• "What did I do wrong?" > Probably nothing that mattered. I am new to DJ, but not new to women. I was confident, a rock, funny, light hearted...I had the basics of what I've heard called "Inner Game" down initially. She was unique in my relationships in tearing that apart.
• "Am I inadequate?" We hung out a ton in that 5 months. Lots of great sex, fun outings, etc. I noticed, however, that she would make a HUGE deal out of something that wasn't ideal. Somewhat of a routine evening = She got into a bad mood, wouldn't talk to me. One time when sex was bad after a few rounds / drinking = she would tell me how exs never had a problem going over and over and over again.
  
• "Why did I let it happen / where was my self worth." I think about this constantly.
• Her name. Maybe the weirdest thing. But when I haven't thought about her in a bit, her name just pops into my head. I f'ing hate that.

 

[Jifto]

They have to use sex in order to trap their target, cause they know if you knew the REAL them (women behind the mask), you more than likely wouldn't commit to her. Sh!t, If I knew the truth about my ex's past and who she really was, I would have hit it once and bounced and never committed or never smashed at all.

They know kinky is the way to a mans heart/mind, the better the odds to trap you in the black widow web. They know it gets to your head and you constantly think about it/them. Sometimes it felt like she had super human emotional powers, they can read your emtions before you can even think it. Their main goal is to TRY and leave some type of permanent scar/memory in your brain like you are programmed to always pop-up in your head..Like whack-a-mole

She would totally rock my world man. Like something out of a porno. Incredible.

 

[Jifto]

OP, you obviously loved this girl if you are here talking about her. Why dishonor her by calling her names? You had a great run. She's probably one of the coolest people you ever met. Regardless of what 40-something women here say, a relationship doesn't have to last forever to be worthwhile. Just celebrate the time you shared and know you prequalify for a slightly better girl next.

Nah man. I never loved her. I did, however, love the sex and the companionship when she was in a good mood. I would love to have sex with her some more without any attachment...but I think that ship has sailed.

 

[Red Legg]

OP I have been dealing with BPD's for 26 years and have been in about a dozen BPD relationships in my life,I almost committed suicide over the first one when I was 20 years old.I now know how to totally detach emotionally when I see one(I can detect them now through various behaviors).ALL 12 still hoover me and let me tell you something OP that you can take to the bank,If you two had great sex (and it sounds like you did) she will be back,she WILL hoover you (if you let her your whole life) I know all about BPD's and I still have to be careful (a month ago one almost took me down) All of my BPD's are natural blondes with blue eyes,All have been in the occult witchcraft,satanism.The reason you cant stop thinking about her and she "pops" into your head as you put it is because you bonded with her spiritually and physically.There is an "invisible " tether connecting you and her.The only way to break your end of the spiritual "rope" is for you to totally DISENGAGE emotionally and SPIRITUALLY if you can;t do this you are toast,I hope you understand the seriousness of this because you are playing with fire.

 

[stovepipe]

Nah man. I never loved her. I did, however, love the sex and the companionship when she was in a good mood. I would love to have sex with her some more without any attachment...but I think that ship has sailed.

I was referring to if she love bombed you. Did she put you on a pedestal or tell you she loved you?

What you probably experienced was mirroring sex, like having sex with yourself. How you envision sex in your mind, she plays out those sex scene's without telling her. Feels like you're in an actual porno flick.

OP I have been dealing with BPD's for 26 years and have been in about a dozen BPD relationships in my life,I almost committed suicide over the first one when I was 20 years old.I now know how to totally detach emotionally when I see one(I can detect them now through various behaviors).ALL 12 still hoover me and let me tell you something OP that you can take to the bank,If you two had great sex (and it sounds like you did) she will be back,she WILL hoover you (if you let her your whole life) I know all about BPD's and I still have to be careful (a month ago one almost took me down) All of my BPD's are natural blondes with blue eyes,All have been in the occult witchcraft,satanism.The reason you cant stop thinking about her and she "pops" into your head as you put it is because you bonded with her spiritually and physically.There is an "invisible " tether connecting you and her.The only way to break your end of the spiritual "rope" is for you to totally DISENGAGE emotionally and SPIRITUALLY if you can;t do this you are toast.

I believe in soul ties with these types of women. I've tried to detach emotionally and spiritually, but it isn't working. She gave me an STD and I spend my days plotting revenge, thinking of the good times, the good sex. Its like your worst nightmare replaying in your head over and over again.

Like you, I almost took my life twice after she left. 8 months out, its still got darn brutal. Panic attack after panic attack, feels like im fighting a spiritual battle with the devil at times.

 

[Jifto]

I was referring to if she love bombed you. Did she put you in a pedestal or tell you she loved you?

What you probably experienced was mirroring sex, like having sex with yourself. How you envision sex in your mind, she plays out those sex scene's without telling her. Feels like you're in an actual porno flick.

Yeah man. She did. Not with "I love you" (that came weeks later), but after the VERY first time we made out she told me how amazing I was and asked what took her so long to find me. I got this kind of stream of how amazing I was throughout the whole thing, the only issue was it was only 30-40% of the time. The other 60-70% of the time she wanted nothing to do with me, was mad at me, or was completely indifferent.

 

[Jifto]

OP I have been dealing with BPD's for 26 years and have been in about a dozen BPD relationships in my life,I almost committed suicide over the first one when I was 20 years old.I now know how to totally detach emotionally when I see one(I can detect them now through various behaviors).ALL 12 still hoover me and let me tell you something OP that you can take to the bank,If you two had great sex (and it sounds like you did) she will be back,she WILL hoover you (if you let her your whole life) I know all about BPD's and I still have to be careful (a month ago one almost took me down) All of my BPD's are natural blondes with blue eyes,All have been in the occult witchcraft,satanism.The reason you cant stop thinking about her and she "pops" into your head as you put it is because you bonded with her spiritually and physically.There is an "invisible " tether connecting you and her.The only way to break your end of the spiritual "rope" is for you to totally DISENGAGE emotionally and SPIRITUALLY if you can;t do this you are toast,I hope you understand the seriousness of this because you are playing with fire.

Hey Red Legg - We did have great sex most of the time. The small fraction of the times it wasn't great (or even bad) she would get mad. For example, she actually yelled at me one time when we were on round 3 and had been drinking all day and I lost it. She actually yelled at me for that.

She was also blonde, blue eyed. She has a slew of exs (I'd guess 3-4) that she dumped years ago that still grovel back to her. She moved across the country and they are still begging her to take them back. I've actually heard her talk to them on the phone, and she gives them enough to keep going on.

 

[Red Legg]

She was also blonde, blue eyed. She has a slew of exs (I'd guess 3-4) that she dumped years ago that still grovel back to her. She moved across the country and they are still begging her to take them back. I've actually heard her talk to them on the phone, and she gives them enough to keep going on.

BPD no doubt...Those guys are her "slaves" they are hopelessly "tethered",they don't know whats going on (poor saps) you will become one of their ranks if you don't detach,you know more than those poor souls do ( use this to your advantage)

 

[Red Legg]

I believe in soul ties with these types of women. I've tried to detach emotionally and spiritually, but it isn't working. She gave me an STD and I spend my days plotting revenge, thinking of the good times, the good sex. Its like your worst nightmare replaying in your head over and over again.

Soul ties are REAL...the Holy Bible talks about man and woman "becoming one flesh" you are actually one with her...that's why they hoover because they feel the soul tie as well..they can't help it.I believe the only real way to "break" a soul tie is to repent,but that is another topic entirely.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Not even a HB7... not until he memorizes the DJ bible and gets his emotions under control,maybe go monk mode for a month or two...

Not a good idea. He needs to get back on the horse asap. Much like a boxer who loses the title: take some easy fights to build the confidence. Use C&F, tell stories, laugh, be the man. It will all start coming back.

 

[Red Legg]

Much like a boxer who loses the title: take some easy fights to build the confidence.

Yeah but this boxer got knocked the fvck out and has a severe concussion,and must heal because the next blow could be deadly.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Soul ties are REAL...the Holy Bible talks about man and woman "becoming one flesh" you are actually one with her...that's why they hoover because they feel the soul tie as well..they can't help it.I believe the only real way to "break" a soul tie is to repent,but that is another topic entirely.

Cutting off contact completely can sever it

 

[Dash Riprock]

I love Dylan.

This is what I'm waiting on. One foot forward each day until then, I suppose.

I'm actively meeting up with women on OLD and looking for opportunities as they present themselves. I'm even making an effort to flirt with women that I'm not attracted to.

6 days a week brother. Been that way for a long time. I can say with some certainty, my physique is not an issue (although I'm always striving to improve it!)

I am trying. A bit of monk mode going on. Reading about red pill, stoicism, relationship psychology, general self help, etc. Meditating every day. Keeping a small social life going. Working hard at work. Researching style / getting new clothes.

She may, she may not. When I broke it off, I didn't mince words. I wasn't mean to her, but I let her know how frustrating the situation was and told her it was over. She tried to contact me 2 times a few days after the breakup and I stayed NC.

Good man. STAY NC.

 

[Dash Riprock]

BPD no doubt...Those guys are her "slaves" they are hopelessly "tethered",they don't know whats going on (poor saps) you will become one of their ranks if you don't detach,you know more than those poor souls do ( use this to your advantage)

Wow, it sounds almost supernatural. Maybe we need a priest on the SS board, lol.

BTW, my BPD exgf was blonde hair and blue eyes too. And she also has a list of "tethers" I believe.

 

[Red Legg]

Cutting off contact completely can sever it

My personal belief is I don't think so because you became one flesh with her (you would have to "gut" yourself and that would kill you).

Wow, it sounds almost supernatural. Maybe we need a priest on the SS board, lol.

It is supernatural..

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My personal belief is I don't think so because you became one flesh with her (you would have to "gut" yourself and that would kill you).

It is supernatural..

After time of no contact those unused connections get weaker and diminishes.

 

[Red Legg]

After time of no contact those unused connections get weaker and diminishes.

I don't think so...(I.E. permanent damage) even if you manage with divine help to sever the "tether" there will be a permanent scar,just like when healing with any injury.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't think so...(I.E. permanent damage) even if you manage with divine help to sever the "tether" there will be a permanent scar,just like when healing with any injury.

If I'm laid up with a good woman and no contact to the past, I'm hardly going to be thinking about it over time. Those wounds require contact to fester. Things can get better than they ever have for you.

 

[bigneil]

OP is well on his way and is handling this properly.

Here is the biggest part to remember: the pain you feel by breaking the bond with her is directly proportional to how much stronger you are becoming. It's just like when you work out and you are sore the next day, but instead of working out your muscles, some girls work out our souls. So embrace that pain.

The next girl will feel that power - she will feel that you are stronger now - so she will be proportionally hotter/wetter.

This is why we must either separate from them long enough that when we see them again they notice our improvement, or (in most cases) we need to find a new girl and start over from scratch.

When the fog is lifted (and it seems to just randomly disappear one day, normally when you find yourself thinking about a new girl), you will realize how much more powerful you are. No pain, no gain.