Love triangle dilemma. What would you do?

[Urbanyst]

status and future earning potential is the biggest difference between LTR guys and ONS guys IMO, not that I find being a LTR guy to be especially desireable.

Well I got the status and MONEY covered. Just can't ever make LTR's work. I don't know why.

Seems me and @Tenacity have the same problem. The market must be garbage.. because I know my Bachelor resume is spotless:

1. Good job? CHECK
2. Hit the gym for great body? CHECK
3. MONEY? CHECK
4. My own apartment? CHECK
5. Charm and game? CHECK
6. Red pill knowledge? CHECK
7. Bedroom skills? CHECK
8. Confidence? CHECK

I don't know what the f*ckin' problem is. I crush the early stages of dating like a champ. Pull hotties EASY. Then it always goes off the rails months later. In my 20's it was whatever, but this crap is getting old now that I'm in my 30's. Either the woman turns into a psycho clinger or she turns into a b!tch (which is the same as losing interest). Its getting annoying man.

I don't know what LTR guys do to stay in relationships for years and years. Do they just tolerate a lot of BS or is something else going on? I know I can always lower my standards and date 7's, but I didn't work this hard and make all this MONEY to date f*ckin' 7's.

This is Gold... The most successful LTR's I have ever had, are the ones, where I did not give that much of a fuk about them..

I would occasionally make excuses not to see them.. I would be less effectionate towards them..

I would let her do all the, lets have a fun day out blah blah blah...

The moment you catch the feels, and start giving her what she wants... it goes down hill from there...

Seriously man, you have to control the feels always..

Even if you really like her, you have you control that chit, and not give much of a fuk..

I know dudes who have had long term relationships, and barely ever shown that girl much love or effection..

Just porn sex.. then head off to work..

Man I intend to live by this golden rule!

Then why even be in a damn LTR? Seems pointless if you have to be a robot to make it work. Might as well just spin plates and not even commit.

 

[resilient]

Perhaps, it's the connection in reward/relating to comfort game. The art of listening. Not to be her therapist, but to show the sensitive side sometimes on top of your 8 item list.

To quote Leon Phelps (Ladies Man) "Yeah.... that was nice.... now I better get going."

 

[Urbanyst]

Where are the girls from? OLD?

Im no market apologist by the way, I KNOW how sh!tty the market is. I just fall into LTRs easily and women want them with me very early on.

A mix of OLD and cold approach.

 

[SuckItUp]

Going forward #1 type is always the better choice than #2. Sure the age thing is a slight negative but 25 year old you described sounds exactly likely the type of girl that's a FWB but has zero potential as a LTR whereas #1 stands a much better chance as a LTR because from your description you had a much deeper connection.

That's a large component of the equation, connection. Women tip off their viability as long term partner. The key is to figure out what your non negotiables are, and what constitute auto-eject qualities and hold firm.

The problem might be that you may not be projecting that you are available/open for a LTR or neither of these women were actually suitable for you but rather only seemed suitable for you.

While oneitis is frowned upon and justifiably so there is something to be said for being able to lock into a rhythm with a woman. The challenge is figuring out which rhythms are beneficial (enhancing your life, happiness, etc. for you and which are harmful (decreasing your happiness and constraint your growth)

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Should have tried my Sh!t out man, I think you would been surprised

 

[Tenacity]

Well I got the status and MONEY covered. Just can't ever make LTR's work. I don't know why.

Seems me and @Tenacity have the same problem. The market must be garbage.. because I know my Bachelor resume is spotless:

1. Good job? CHECK
2. Hit the gym for great body? CHECK
3. MONEY? CHECK
4. My own apartment? CHECK
5. Charm and game? CHECK
6. Red pill knowledge? CHECK
7. Bedroom skills? CHECK
8. Confidence? CHECK

I don't know what the f*ckin' problem is. I crush the early stages of dating like a champ. Pull hotties EASY. Then it always goes off the rails months later. In my 20's it was whatever, but this crap is getting old now that I'm in my 30's. Either the woman turns into a psycho clinger or she turns into a b!tch (which is the same as losing interest). Its getting annoying man.

I don't know what LTR guys do to stay in relationships for years and years. Do they just tolerate a lot of BS or is something else going on? I know I can always lower my standards and date 7's, but I didn't work this hard and make all this MONEY to date f*ckin' 7's.



Then why even be in a damn LTR? Seems pointless if you have to be a robot to make it work. Might as well just spin plates and not even commit.

The problem isn't you brother.......the problem is the market. I know that guys on here think we all operate in a vacuum and everything is the individual's fault, using some insane "logic" about the guy being the "only common denominator"......but you are never the only common denominator in social/cultural settings.

The LTR market is piss poor right now, due to market forces that do NOT encourage women to enter LTRs like that anymore. Matter of fact, they are discouraging LTRs, at least quality LTRs anyway, where the girl actually finds herself in a supportive role to the guy.

- The dating/sex/ONS/short term relationship market is BOOMING.

- The LTR market is going through a Great Depression.

 

[sazc]

The problem isn't you brother.......the problem is the market. I know that guys on here think we all operate in a vacuum and everything is the individual's fault, using some insane "logic" about the guy being the "only common denominator"......but you are never the only common denominator in social/cultural settings.

The LTR market is piss poor right now, due to market forces that do NOT encourage women to enter LTRs like that anymore. Matter of fact, they are discouraging LTRs, at least quality LTRs anyway, where the girl actually finds herself in a supportive role to the guy.

- The dating/sex/ONS/short term relationship market is BOOMING.

- The LTR market is going through a Great Depression.

Right. Isn't this the hookup culture that we have been hearing about for a while now? Females are hooking up and not worrying about commitment. they are, in fact, shunning commitment.
It's not you, it's the culture now, it's considered the social norm.

 

[Urbanyst]

The problem isn't you brother.......the problem is the market. I know that guys on here think we all operate in a vacuum and everything is the individual's fault, using some insane "logic" about the guy being the "only common denominator"......but you are never the only common denominator in social/cultural settings.

The LTR market is piss poor right now, due to market forces that do NOT encourage women to enter LTRs like that anymore. Matter of fact, they are discouraging LTRs, at least quality LTRs anyway, where the girl actually finds herself in a supportive role to the guy.

- The dating/sex/ONS/short term relationship market is BOOMING.

- The LTR market is going through a Great Depression.

I don't know. A lot of women want LTR's, its just that those women are GARBAGE, desperate or crazy and I never want to commit to them.

The problem is women ALWAYS CHANGE. Its never a what you see is what you get package. Sick of this sh*t.

 

[Urbanyst]

Girl #1 finally reached out to me. She said she really likes me, but we are not compatible.

We were compatible when I was spinning plates and refusing to give her what she wanted. When I dropped my plates and gave her what she wanted she decided we are not compatible lol.

Take note guys. Valuable lesson here.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I disagree, they try very hard to enter LTRs with me because of my social status. What is difficult is maintaining the LTR. I bet every high status guy here has this same issue, the women are desperate for LTRs ASAP and will try all the tricks in the book to lock you up. I get ultimatums damn near 2 weeks in.

What is your social status?

 

[CMNILS87]

Great problem to have. Been In the situation. Women always know there's another woman. May not know all details, but trust me...they know.

This is my advice: in some fashion somewhere in their twisted way of thinking, women understand the dynamics of sister wives...it's all about your frame, how you present it, and where their head is at as far as maturity and their options. Women would rather share a prize than have a loser to themselves. You ever seen men with children by multiple women who get along and the guy can hang out with either or whenever and the children spend the night with eachother? That Sh!t is sister wives just presented in a different package and women for whatever reason love it if they respect you enough. You can present it in a different package even without children...it just has to be covertly.

This is how I played it: You have to basically know that you have either of them at your mercy in bed. I mean your frame has to be dominant but charming. Do they swallow? Can you tell them to give you oral anytime when you're alone? If not, don't attempt.

If you honestly believe they would find eachother attractive enough (and I'm not talking about threesome)...but if they find eachother attractive enough to say "oh she's cute, I understand why you would f*kc her " (these are real comments made by females)....you could have both until one of them finds another guy. I allowed the one who was older and more mature to get a glimpse inside my interactions with the other girl. Framed it like "she's sweet...she's just a lil girl a lot of times...just needs a little guidance from me and I love dominating her." Ive only attempted to pull this off once in my life, but the fact that she knew this other girl was attractive and clingy with me, me telling her that I dominated this other girl got her wet and made her pupils dilate. The girl that you are telling this to will now - even more than ever - understand you "get" women. You'll see he twinkle in her eye but after I did that, I kind of had to pedestalize her above the other girl. Let her know that the younger one has to respect her and any signs...I would drop the other girl. I also had to basically put all my chips on the fact that I'm very thorough about my personal life and don't want to make her look stupid (That's ALL women care about is looking stupid. "Don't make me look stupid!" Is like the key pass to knowing you can get away with this). I keep the mysterious frame solid...no kiss and tell, do not get involved in any gossip talk with them. Act like you could care less.

Basically when I had that tied up, I introduced them one night downtown and had the liquor flowing. They actually were hugging and dancing and both giving me looks as I wandered the club. The older one was doing all the work - looking for validation...and I never told the younger one the plan. Cats talk about intimacy on here....this level of trust with the older one was her intimacy with me and she loved it. Frank and Claire Underwood frame.

I'm still involved in this. I cut the older ones grass and I had to change the younger ones tire one night when she left the nail salon. I do manly beta things to show them I appreciate them. Don't know when it will end though and when one will drop out. Don't really care.

Fixing **** and adding value to their lives is the manliest of all especially when you're a badass and have frame. It's not beta, especially not when you're doing it to just help out. A manly man has no air of desperation about him. If I need to fix a problem sometimes I'll show up, fix it, and disappear again. They come over later and bang my brains out

 

[CMNILS87]

So after this weekend, things are really heating up with my two current plates. I can sense that they will both ask to be exclusive pretty soon. And they are both girlfriend material. I really don't want to drop one of them. I like them both a lot.

On Friday one girl asked me if I was dating other girls. I told her I was dating another girl when we first met. But I didn't tell her I was still dating that girl now. She also introduced me to some family members this weekend. I didn't really agree to it, she just invited them out while on our date because they "happened to be in the city that day" so I had no choice.

I don't want either of these girls to find out about the other one. But things are heating up, and soon I might have to choose one or lose both.

These are their profiles:

Girl #1

Age: 28
Face: 9
Body: 7.5
Personality: Chill and down for anything
Sex: Fantastic
Main Pro: We grew up in the same city and have a lot of common interest and musical taste
Main Con: Very close to age 30. Turning 29 this summer

Girl #2

Age: 25
Face: 7
Body: 9
Personality: Spicy
Sex: Mind blowing. And her body is breathtaking. Probably the best body I've been with. She looks like a model naked.
Main Pro: The sex. Its just so good.
Main Con: She is becoming clingy and needs a lot of attention. Didn't like the forced family intro either.

What do most of you guys do in this situation? This is the first time I've liked two plates equally. Usually I have a clear favorite and its easy to dump one of them.

I need more logistics, how long have you been seeing each one of them??

Girl 1: she's almost 29 and been around the block, she's gonna wait you out. It'll be a waiting game with her and she'll just stick around and not do anything stupid if she thinks she has a good catch.

Girl 2: little younger, needy, may be a bit inexperienced with relationships due to her ****-ery. She's pushing your frame. You're out having fun and she just invites them. I'd shut that down, she's not worried about invading on you. You should be casually dating 5-7 months before even thinking about meeting a close sibling or parent. Watch out for this one, she's showing you off to family so expect to have that talk in the next month or her to just expect you to ask for exclusivity.

You tell Girl 2 that you're not really ready to meet family, you guys didn't discuss/communicate it and you're not cool with it. You gotta train the puppy otherwise she's gonna go around chewing all the table legs off.

If you've been dating both girls for 3-5/6 months, I'd wait it out and just continue to casually date. However, when women are having sex for x amount of time with the same guy they tend to expect it's just exclusive. Watch out for girl 2, if she doesn't get exclusivity on her terms she may be impulsive and just drop you.

^--------My favorite to combat the exclusive talk:
Hey hun I know you keep bringing this up and dating officially and what not, but I told you when we started I was looking for casual and to see where it goes. I got work, school, a side business, and my casual relationship is just not a high priority yet, that's why I only spend a day or 2 with you a week. You keep putting all this pressure on me about what we are officially and socially. I'm not interested in being a social status update on Facebook. I really enjoy hanging and want to continue to see where it goes, but I'll tell you when I'm ready for more. She'll hang around and keep asking for exclusivity or get frustrated and ghost eventually

 

[CMNILS87]

Girl #1 finally reached out to me. She said she really likes me, but we are not compatible.

We were compatible when I was spinning plates and refusing to give her what she wanted. When I dropped my plates and gave her what she wanted she decided we are not compatible lol.

Take note guys. Valuable lesson here.

How'd you **** that up?? You continue to just casual date her, and when she asks to hang more, you letvhsveca little more and that's it.

 

[Urbanyst]

How'd you **** that up?? You continue to just casual date her, and when she asks to hang more, you letvhsveca little more and that's it.

Started liking her too much I guess. I can't point to any solid thing I did wrong other than dropping other plates and giving her more time and attention than I was before. I also wanted sex pretty frequently. After dropping the other plate I was trying to f*ck her like every day and multiple times on weekends. Maybe that was too much? Definitely spent too much money on her. I probably regret that most. At least a grand was spent on this b!tch.

She ghosted for a while. Then when she finally got back to me she said she doesn't think we are compatible. It was pretty shocking because I thought I had this girl under my thumb for sure. Especially due to her age. And we seemed to have a lot in common. Its really bizarre she would lose interest.

 

[Urbanyst]

In this sort of situation it's usually an ex or someone she's been pining after in the past that suddenly shows up. More high score theory than hypergamy.

The most constructive thing for you to do is as you think about the relationship, think of signs that showed low interest or that she was never really too invested(sometimes there are none which is a frightening thought in and of itself.)

There were really no signs. That's why I dropped my other plate. In my mind I was convinced she wasn't going anywhere. Didn't think she could do better than me. My confidence was pretty high for the whole relationship and chemistry was always good. Lots of fun and laughing.

The only sign of low interest happened right before she ghosted me. It was a Thursday morning after great sex the night before. She was leaving my place as I got ready for work. When she was walking out I suggested we check out a new restaurant over the weekend. Usually she would say "Ok" or something similar. But for the first time ever she said "I'll have to check my schedule". After that, she ghosted me for a week.

I texted her three times and called her once (and left voicemail) over the span of that week with no response. I wasn't needy in my texts either. I just told her to let me know if she still wants to check out the restaurant with me. The other two texts were pics of the food and the menu. The voicemail I left was just asking if she got my texts. Eventually she texted back to say I'm a great guy but she doesn't think we are compatible.

Couldn't believe it. Still can't. I've never had such an abrupt breakup. I played the rejection cool by texting back that I wish her the best and enjoyed our time together. She didn't respond and I haven't heard from her since.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

Fixing **** and adding value to their lives is the manliest of all especially when you're a badass and have frame. It's not beta, especially not when you're doing it to just help out. A manly man has no air of desperation about him. If I need to fix a problem sometimes I'll show up, fix it, and disappear again. They come over later and bang my brains out

I get that. I personally run on auto pilot. I call it beta just to classify it to the forum who define things In black and white. Everything's about mindset investment In the end...not physical investment.

 

[devilkingx2]

Ehh.. so I dropped Girl #2 about two weeks ago to focus more on Girl #1 who seemed like great Girlfriend material and I was really getting to like her A LOT. Girl #2 was also getting too clingy and turning into a total b*tch. But know Girl #1 is ghosting me. Can you believe it?? No communication from her since Wednesday of last week. Probably some stupid mind game sh*t, or maybe I like her too much so she is cooling off.

I'm starting to think that no matter what your position, you are not allowed to ever LIKE a woman too much. Once you like them everything goes down hill.

Now I have to get back in the damn field and find new plates. F*ckin' sh*t. I don't know how some guys do LTR's that last for years. There's something LTR guys have that I don't. I'm cranky as heck because now I have to smash sluts until I find more quality plates. Women are so f*ckin' annoying sometimes. The red pill is real.. let me tell you.

see, this is why you need 3 plates at a time

 

[RichardTheFrog]

see, this is why you need 3 plates at a time

Do you think that you are being delusional to think that your "plates" are actually invested in you in any significant way? Aren't you extremely replaceable to them? Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[devilkingx2]

Do you think that you are being delusional to think that your "plates" are actually invested in you in any significant way? Aren't you extremely replaceable to them? Correct me if I'm wrong.

depends on the plate. there's plenty of girls out there who will be clingy and obsessed with you but like everything in life, it comes with a trade off

 

[Urbanyst]

see, this is why you need 3 plates at a time

I'm considering 6 plates to be honest. This situation has really made me sour on women and relationships. I'm just getting fed up.