The Bitter End (Broke up with girlfriend)

[bigneil]

It could just be getting older. Some of the guys here call it, 'hitting the wall' sometimes. Not necessarily maturing or growing up though. Past a certain age (puberty), it's pretty much impossible to truly change your personality.

So I date girls aged 3-5. Got it.

Actually, I just witnessed the first signs that maybe she is BPD, but it was fascinating.

1) She reconnected with her dad who divorced her mom when she was 13 and it "sent her life into turmoil" (her mom booted her and she had to eventually (at age 20) become a stripper to survive).
2) She filed for divorce for a man she met at age 14, after she became homeless.
3) She reconnected with her friend from age 13, the one she "was in love with but hasn't had sex with".
4) She sent me the most precious photo - her at age 13 - with her original hair in a peekaboo, with white tights (not something you normally send someone you are dumping).
5) She started saying for the first time she didn't want to have sex on the next date (I took this the wrong way as most of us would, hence my stonewalling on her making me compromise).
6) She said she has reverted in her mind to age 13.
7) She lost her virginity at age 14.

I realized that (probably due to all the stress she is under as she is going through a divorce, changing careers, and relocating) she has reverted to the last days of her virginity! Perhaps all the guilt made her go back to the last time she was innocent!

What an amazing thing to witness, especially for a man who adores her as I do.

She is healing things at the root.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

5) She started saying for the first time she didn't want to have sex on the next date (I took this the wrong way as most of us would, hence my stonewalling on her making me compromise).

What do you mean by taking this the wrong way? Is there a 'right' way to handle it? How would you have handled it had you known better.

Also, why do you think she sent you the photo?

 

[bigneil]

What do you mean by taking this the wrong way? Is there a 'right' way to handle it? How would you have handled it had you known better.

Also, why do you think she sent you the photo?

If a girl is regressing to her virginity, the right way to handle it is not pressure her for sex.

When I received the photo, I asked a hot female bartender "If you were dumping a guy, would you send a photo of yourself at age 13?" and she said "No way, that is her saying 'this is me, this is my life, I want you to be part of my life'".

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If a girl is regressing to her virginity, the right way to handle it is not pressure her for sex.

What if you were the guy who took her virginity? And how often has this happened to you before?

 

[bigneil]

What if you were the guy who took her virginity? And how often has this happened to you before?

I hope to be the one. This is a great opportunity. This has never happened to me before.

She really is a good girl. She was acting out to get her dad's attention.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I hope to be the one. This is a great opportunity. This has never happened to me before.

She really is a good girl. She was acting out to get her dad's attention.

Do you mean that figuratively or literally? And if literally, do you think that she latched onto you because she saw you as someone who fulfilled the father role she felt was missing?

 

[bigneil]

Do you mean that figuratively or literally? And if literally, do you think that she latched onto you because she saw you as someone who fulfilled the father role she felt was missing?

The other day I randomly drew a drawing that came to me in a vision.

It was not a simple drawing. It was 7 vectors that connected to make a (warped) Septagon. I realized her life path made a 7-sided circle. 7 wrong paths that she navigated to go full circle.

I was the 7th side, the one the brought her back to her dad. It went: Family (driving her crazy), High School (indoctrinating her), Homelessness (heading for poverty), Bad marriage (heading for Androgeny as she was bisexual leaning lesbian in her youth), Sleazy strip club (heading for prostitution), Classy strip club (heading for Vegas), Dating me (heading for modeling, reconnecting to her family). The moment her photos started rating high and she was proud enough to show her dad, he took her back and funded her to divorce her husband. She is going through the three most stressful things at once (relocation, career change and divorce) and the guilt she felt for losing her virginity at 14 caused her to revert back to her last days of innocence. Suddenly reverted to this adolescent phase.

I showed her the diagram last week and she said it was exactly true, and it even predicted her current situation. I wrote (before she sent the photo and before she told me about reconnecting with a 13 year old friend) that "You are still a baby who left home too soon and who needs to be with her daddy and high school friends", and "You need to heal damage done back in high school with someone, maybe (a birthday of someone she mentioned, who turned out to be the one she was talking about)". It was a prophecy.

I told her also "It may be that our paths diverge at this point, unless your future path is parallel to my own".

I will always be part of her life circle that reconnected her with her dad. That was the most special experience I ever had.

I am now Captain Saved a Ho.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The other day I randomly drew a drawing that came to me in a vision.

It was not a simple drawing. It was 7 vectors that connected to make a (warped) Septagon. I realized her life path made a 7-sided circle. 7 wrong paths that she navigated to go full circle.

I was the 7th side, the one the brought her back to her dad. It went: Family (driving her crazy), High School (indoctrinating her), Homelessness (heading for poverty), Bad marriage (heading for Androgeny as she was bisexual leaning lesbian in her youth), Sleazy strip club (heading for prostitution), Classy strip club (heading for Vegas), Dating me (heading for modeling, reconnecting to her family). The moment her photos started rating high and she was proud enough to show her dad, he took her back and funded her to divorce her husband. She is going through the three most stressful things at once (relocation, career change and divorce) and the guilt she felt for losing her virginity at 14 caused her to revert back to her last days of innocence. Suddenly reverted to this adolescent phase.

I showed her the diagram last week and she said it was exactly true, and it even predicted her current situation. I wrote (before she sent the photo and before she told me about reconnecting with a 13 year old friend) that "You are still a baby who left home too soon and who needs to be with her daddy and high school friends", and "You need to heal damage done back in high school with someone, maybe (a birthday of someone she mentioned, who turned out to be the one she was talking about)". It was a prophecy.

I told her also "It may be that our paths diverge at this point, unless your future path is parallel to my own".

I will always be part of her life circle that reconnected her with her dad. That was the most special experience I ever had.

I am now Captain Saved a Ho.

Well played. You and I may have our quarrels now and then, but for this one you have my respect. Do you think she would still be with you had you not pushed her for sex when she had started reverting?

 

[bigneil]

Well played. You and I may have our quarrels now and then, but for this one you have my respect. Do you think she would still be with you had you not pushed her for sex when she had started reverting?

You've grown up a lot, double.

I think she is still with me. I hadn't pushed for sex so much as I kept doing the takeaway (on June 2, 8, 9, 10, 13, 16, 17 and 23) whenever I sensed she was avoiding sex. Hence I haven't seen her. It's a standoff.

She and I have had our differences (on the 3, 6 and 9 month boundaries), but whenever I take time I realize that she was making the right decisions at the time.

Meanwhile, she has a way of healing issues at the root. She has a lot she is going through so I told her I will give her all the time she needs.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You've grown up a lot, double.

I think she is still with me. I hadn't pushed for sex so much as I kept doing the takeaway (on June 2, 8, 9, 10, 13, 16, 17 and 23) whenever I sensed she was avoiding sex. Hence I haven't seen her. It's a standoff.

She and I have had our differences (on the 3, 6 and 9 month boundaries), but whenever I take time I realize that she was making the right decisions at the time.

Meanwhile, she has a way of healing issues at the root. She has a lot she is going through so I told her I will give her all the time she needs.

Truthfully, I haven't changed much in my thought process much as my shift in mental energy. My attitude has just slighted some, I suppose. I've blocked some people on here, but there's a reason why I never blocked you and it's because I always thought that I could still learn from you, and this is just one example. You have a strange perception that differs vastly from most others and it makes you willing to go do things others likely won't (such as dating a stripper for example), and you do so because you look at them differently from other men. The best way I could put it is more like when I was a little kid just looking at life through the lenses of my own eyes without anyone else's negative input into my reality, and I am unwilling to go back to that state of mind due to other reasons. My focus on this place is changing a little bit so that I am able to have a much more ominous perspective in life. This thread just helps me with the few gold nuggets of info that are in here.

 

[bigneil]

While I was improvising this whole idea, it was covered by Sigmund Freud (who called it transference):

 

[Bingo-Player]

It’s a sh1t situation and Im going through something similar with my girl now so I know exactly how you’re feeling


I don’t know why young women think they have the ability to make life changing decisions at the drop of a hat and expect there to be no repercussions


My ex GF tells me that “she handled things really badly, she’s sorry and her head is a mess” as if saying that’s going to wave a magic wand and erase the last month of her nonsense


As men who are well educated in women, we cannot take them back or they will never learn that they’re actions do have consequences


As hard as it is ( and my hearts been breaking for 4 days now ) we have to walk away from a bad situation

 

[sazc]

This situation has taken quite a bizarre turn. At this point I am wondering if she is trying to turn you into a consistent Orbiter.

 

[lizardking82]

Can't turn a hoe into a housewife, @bigneil , common.

 

[bigneil]

Can't turn a hoe into a housewife, @bigneil , common.

No, I turned a housewife into a ho. Then back to daddy's little girl.

This situation has taken quite a bizarre turn. At this point I am wondering if she is trying to turn you into a consistent Orbiter.

Bizarre, yes. But Re-read the transcript if you think that would ever happen. I've seen her 25 times and we had sex 75 times. She and I had amazing chemistry in person, but we also have an amazing connection. I think the fact we went 6 weeks without seeing each other but it's still romantic says it's more than just a physical thing. And it's obviously not about the money.

Many of you said I'd cry BPD if and when it ended. In this case you see I took a more constructive approach. So we see that both the BPD crowd and myself were right in a way.

Anyhow, I'm feeling great whether I ever see her again or not. My crying is done.

 

[bigneil]

I don’t know why young women think they have the ability to make life changing decisions at the drop of a hat and expect there to be no repercussions

This is very true. Overnight she decided to get divorced, move out, move in with high school friends, form a romance, and buy a dog, after we had planned a cross country trip that is now postponed.

Her being married was a blessing. I never let myself get attached to begin with, and always focused on having other women, so in a way I'm excited to date some new girls. Wait until I show her modeling photos of another girl with her name!

We've been there, done them. When we look back on our lives, do we want to think we got 3 new girls, or slept with our old girl 20 more times?

 

[sazc]

No, I turned a housewife into a ho. Then back to daddy's little girl.


Bizarre, yes. But Re-read the transcript if you think that would ever happen. I've seen her 25 times and we had sex 75 times. She and I had amazing chemistry in person, but we also have an amazing connection. I think the fact we went 6 weeks without seeing each other but it's still romantic says it's more than just a physical thing. And it's obviously not about the money.

Many of you said I'd cry BPD if and when it ended. In this case you see I took a more constructive approach. So we see that both the BPD crowd and myself were right in a way.

Anyhow, I'm feeling great whether I ever see her again or not. My crying is done.

I follow why you would feel this way but, being a spectator, you are posting about behavior that makes it very clear that she is unstable. I'm not saying she doesn't love you, you don't love her, etc. What I am saying is that there is a TON of emotional push pull going on that's definitely got you hooked.

I don't know how this is all going to play out. Be sure to guard your heart.

 

[bigneil]

I follow why you would feel this way but, being a spectator, you are posting about behavior that makes it very clear that she is unstable. I'm not saying she doesn't love you, you don't love her, etc. What I am saying is that there is a TON of emotional push pull going on that's definitely got you hooked.

I don't know how this is all going to play out. Be sure to guard your heart.

Thanks. In a sense you are correct that she wants to keep me as an orbiter, but in this case it's more of a lover/provider/safety net role.

Until I see her again there is no way to know whether we will still have chemistry.

I finally read her last text: "I'm not the one driving and I'm on the other side of town from where I live, I just don't want to be late. I just tried to push the time back because you said that was an option. If you change your mind let me know".

 

[zekko]

Who do you think it is that's constant trying to degrade your frame?

I think that as long as you are strong in your frame, you don't worry about someone trying to degrade it.

I think she is still with me. I hadn't pushed for sex so much as I kept doing the takeaway (on June 2, 8, 9, 10, 13, 16, 17 and 23) whenever I sensed she was avoiding sex. Hence I haven't seen her. It's a standoff.

This is why I am not overly impressed with PUA tactics. Most of it seems to be about displaying high value by creating distance between you and the girl:
Lean away from her, talk to her over your shoulder, wait three days to a week before calling her, don't answer her questions directly, be mysterious, don't let her know much about you, give her the gift of missing you, be unavailable, be busy in your life, go out with other girls, don't initiate texts, don't answer texts right away, don't text at all, punish her by withdrawing attention, etc, etc.

Not that there is anything wrong with any of those things in and of itself. But I mean okay, don't be overeager, we get it. What else ya got? I think most guys learn that early on anyway. Creating distance is okay, but unless you're pumping and dumping, at some point you're actually going to have to be with the girl.

 

[bigneil]

"It's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder" - Paul McCartney 1968