Silent Rejection aftermath - In need of advice

[Kaiki]

Hello.

Little side story:
After reading pdf and pretty much every article in hall of fame something "clicked" and I decided to man up and follow the sosuave route.
It was going pretty well (for first time in my life I received great warm smile from girl): I was ending every single conversation first , told girls that I am bussy and dont have time to talk with them (not being available all the time is my personal magnum opus) etc. After feeling like whole man once again I finally acted like proper human being ( I had spoken up every single time for myself and so on).
Thats where this downfall started.

I started flirting with girl from my university. She was giving me good eye contact and warm smile every time I looked at her , so well ... I felt I would spit on mirror If I had let this chance get away.
After few days of flirting, teasing and breaking touch barrier (This one was a shock for me: for the most of my life I had been a introvert nerd type but now i just felt what needed to be done) In a mintime she bluntly told me "I broke up with my boyfriend , I am free now". I kept my cool her, stayed low with any dating intentions in that moment. 2 days later I sent her ask to meet up (with mindset - good if she want to join , no harm done if she wont). As title says , it ended with "may I contact you later? I need to think about it". In this single moment I felt how its going to end. And here I am , 2 days later without any answer...

I am not asking for any "one secret trick" to bring her back, **** this. If she dont want to hang out with me that her problem. But please tell me "How DJ would would act in this situation?"
Shall I avoid her from now without single talk/ give short talk in friendly vibe or .. i just dont know what else I could do.


PS: I feel pretty dumb to start my first post with something like this, but well... tried to do my best on my own till I hitted the wall.
Looking forward to every form of help.

 

[dustmuffin]

If she needs to think about it she has very low interest or maybe she has another Suiter and wants to see how that pans out while stringing you along. I would cut contact and wait for her to contact you. If she does then try to set up a date again

 

[BetterCallSaul]

She has to think about it? Then her telling you she's free was possibly a $hit test. She wanted you to immediately salivate over the possibility of spending time with her so she could turn you down and thus strokes her ego more.

No response from her? No more contact from you. Move on. You're the backup guy right it sounds like. If she contacts you later, I personally would be 'busy' a lot. But you could very easily make her a plate.

 

[wifehunter]

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

But please tell me "How DJ would would act in this situation?"

Forget about her and find somebody else.

That means REALLY forget about her, not "pretend to forget about her" in a lame attempt to get her back.

FORGET about her, and find somebody. In fact, consider this philosophy for the rest of your life.

1) Find a girl you like that likes you.

2) Enjoy her until it ends.

3) Forget about her and go to step (1).

ALL OF THE COMPLICATIONS males have with male-female relationships stem from their inability to do steps 2 and 3 correctly.

 

[Kaiki]

@dustmuffin Thats exactly what I thought. If she need to "think about it" then she isnt into me at all

@BetterCallSaul Thank you for pointing possibility of $hit test - to be honest I was so delighted It never came to my mind

@wifehunter Thats how a story usually begins =D

@taiyuu_otoko This one will be relatively easy thanks to being "date oriented" now. As pathetic it may sound It was first time when I was hitting on girl who wasnt my crush.

@Espi Thanks for sending me concept line - I will tweak it a little to make it my own

 

[Igetit!]

I started flirting with girl from my university. She was giving me good eye contact and warm smile every time I looked at her , so well ... I felt I would spit on mirror If I had let this chance get away.
After few days of flirting, teasing and breaking touch barrier

Let's see.....you

Flirted with her
Teased her
did kino (touched her)
and she gave you good eye contact and a warm smile EVERYTIME you looked at her

Then 2 days later....

she bluntly told me "I broke up with my boyfriend , I am free now".

She bluntly,FLAT OUT told you that not only did she break up with her boyfriend,but that she's now FREE.

Dude....if that ain't an IOI,I don't know what is.

She basically said,"Take me...here I am".

Your response? "I stayed low with any dating intentions in that moment".

May I ask a question?...

WHY???

Why in the world.....right when she opened herself up to you..in THAT moment,why would you try to conceal your interest then?

You said you were flirting with her
said you'd been touching her
said you were getting good eye contact
said she'd smile at you EVERYTIME you looked at her

You did ALL THAT,got ALL THOSE good signs from her...the chick flat out told you she was no longer in a relationship and WAS FREE....

and your response was to hold back your interest? After all the flirting,touching,and teasing WHILE SHE WAS TAKEN....now that she's free you decide to hold back?


WHY???


Edit: I don't think she needed to "think about it"....she flat out told you that she was free...but you delayed. You didn't "strike while the iron was hot". My guess is she was confused why you didn't take her offer right then and there when she offered it,and was likely turned off.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Let's see.....you

Flirted with her
Teased her
did kino (touched her)
and she gave you good eye contact and a warm smile EVERYTIME you looked at her

Then 2 days later....



She bluntly,FLAT OUT told you that not only did she break up with her boyfriend,but that she's now FREE.

Dude....if that ain't an IOI,I don't know what is.

She basically said,"Take me...here I am".

Your response? "I stayed low with any dating intentions in that moment".

May I ask a question?...

WHY???

Why in the world.....right when she opened herself up to you..in THAT moment,why would you try to conceal your interest then?

You said you were flirting with her
said you'd been touching her
said you were getting good eye contact
said she'd smile at you EVERYTIME you looked at her

You did ALL THAT,got ALL THOSE good signs from her...the chick flat out told you she was no longer in a relationship and WAS FREE....

and your response was to hold back your interest? After all the flirting,touching,and teasing WHILE SHE WAS TAKEN....now that she's free you decide to hold back?


WHY???


Edit: I don't think she needed to "think about it"....she flat out told you that she was free...but you delayed. You didn't "strike while the iron was hot". My guess is she was confused why you didn't take her offer right then and there when she offered it,and was likely turned off.

This is what I'm thinking too.

I don't understand your line of thinking here op. It seems you had her interested but when it came time to go for the kill, you pulled back so you wouldn't seem desperate or too eager.

In my opinion, this is a case of over-gaming. When she told you she was free and didn't have a boyfriend, she wanted you to make a move, not keep her waiting for 2 days. That was a huge mistake on your part, as it made you seem weak.

Lost cause now, you won't be able to re-ignite her interest.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't think she needed to "think about it"....she flat out told you that she was free...but you delayed. You didn't "strike while the iron was hot". My guess is she was confused why you didn't take her offer right then and there when she offered it,and was likely turned off.

Young women in university are beyond fickle.

Think of it like the line at McDonalds: You want ketchup with those fries? Yes. You want ketchup with those fries? No.

Here's what you did: You want ketchup with those fries? Hmmm. I'll get back to you in 2 days.

Two days later the fries are a distant memory and she's thinking WTF? So yes, strike while iron is hot.

 

[Plums]

Hello.

Little side story:
After reading pdf and pretty much every article in hall of fame something "clicked" and I decided to man up and follow the sosuave route.
It was going pretty well (for first time in my life I received great warm smile from girl): I was ending every single conversation first , told girls that I am bussy and dont have time to talk with them (not being available all the time is my personal magnum opus) etc. After feeling like whole man once again I finally acted like proper human being ( I had spoken up every single time for myself and so on).
Thats where this downfall started.

I started flirting with girl from my university. She was giving me good eye contact and warm smile every time I looked at her , so well ... I felt I would spit on mirror If I had let this chance get away.
After few days of flirting, teasing and breaking touch barrier (This one was a shock for me: for the most of my life I had been a introvert nerd type but now i just felt what needed to be done) In a mintime she bluntly told me "I broke up with my boyfriend , I am free now". I kept my cool her, stayed low with any dating intentions in that moment. 2 days later I sent her ask to meet up (with mindset - good if she want to join , no harm done if she wont). As title says , it ended with "may I contact you later? I need to think about it". In this single moment I felt how its going to end. And here I am , 2 days later without any answer...

I am not asking for any "one secret trick" to bring her back, **** this. If she dont want to hang out with me that her problem. But please tell me "How DJ would would act in this situation?"
Shall I avoid her from now without single talk/ give short talk in friendly vibe or .. i just dont know what else I could do.


PS: I feel pretty dumb to start my first post with something like this, but well... tried to do my best on my own till I hitted the wall.
Looking forward to every form of help.

I think you are taking this far too seriously. Also if you are following a scripted routine, you will not come over as being genuine and natural. People sense this and it puts them off.
Why don't you just relax and be yourself. Be honest and things may work out better for you.

 

[SuckItUp]

When a woman goes out of her way to tell you her intentions it means "Take me to pound town now" In this specific case it means either I need you to sex my tears away or I just got away from this loser and I need a man to make me walk funny.

Crass? Sure, but women typically enjoy the chase enough that they will still almost always be subtle.

The being cool part isn't waiting two days, but rather setting up something when she tells you she is free and in the process trying not to fall over yourself attempting to get laid.

This was a lay-up it doesn't get much easier. Don't try to put crazy English on it or try to lay it in with your left hand, or do a three sixty, just put the ball in the hoop.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

PS: I feel pretty dumb to start my first post with something like this, but well... tried to do my best on my own till I hitted the wall.

Hey man props to ya. That's a hell of a lot better than some others who think that their situation is so much more different than everyone else's.

In regards to what you would do, she might be playing a 3-day waiting game. If not, then don't talk to her ever again because that just means no. If you start talking to a chick and she says she has to think about it after leading you on like that, then it's ignore time. If she hits you up in person, then you can talk to her. If she texts you, keep everything very short and end it as soon as possible unless she suggests a time. I think she's just not interested.

 

[nismo-4]

Damn.

Yes, I read that long ass wall of text.

You had a wide open shot with no f**kin' goalie or defender around! And didn't take the shot.

Unfortunately, you fell out of first place. She'll think about it after she tastes this guy's kum.

Just accept that your princess is in another castle and move on. Think this girl would have to think about it if Kevin Durant asked her out? Hell no, and you wouldn't have to think about it if Shakira asked you out.

Delete her from all platforms. Make a move only if she contacts you first.

Case closed.

 

[Milano]

You had a chance and you blew it pal, happens to all of us. Best way to learn is through pain, now you remember it

 

[Kaiki]

@Igetit!

I will honestly tell you why. Because no matter how much I could butter myself up - I am one big failure in dating field. For last 5years I was "looking for that magical green light sign" while talking with girls. Every single time it ended it pretty same way as I described in my post - getting silent rejection (and being awkward one for overthinking things) or even getting clear "i aint and I never was interested in you".

So this time I thought "if shes really into me then why not take it slow and enjoy the process?" Worst thing here is that I cant be sure what was wrong and thats killing me from the inside. If you mess up with car/electronical device you can get feedback > you shouldnt have done that/that was right way to fix that.

But Here? You , @SuckItUp and @Building_and_Loan wrote about being pu$$y and letting chance get away. @dustmuffin about "her having low interest " or/and keeping me as an secondary , @BetterCallSaul about possible $testing or checking out my overeagerness (one of the articles said same thing - she dont want another vulture around her) and finally @ImTheDoubleGreatest! about playing some 3day test to check me up or being played by her. Funny thing is , after reading all your answers I cant really tell which was is a cause: None , one , half or all of them?

 

[SuckItUp]

@Igetit!

I will honestly tell you why. Because no matter how much I could butter myself up - I am one big failure in dating field. For last 5years I was "looking for that magical green light sign" while talking with girls. Every single time it ended it pretty same way as I described in my post - getting silent rejection (and being awkward one for overthinking things) or even getting clear "i aint and I never was interested in you".

So this time I thought "if shes really into me then why not take it slow and enjoy the process?" Worst thing here is that I cant be sure what was wrong and thats killing me from the inside. If you mess up with car/electronical device you can get feedback > you shouldnt have done that/that was right way to fix that.

But Here? You , @SuckItUp and @Building_and_Loan wrote about being pu$$y and letting chance get away. @dustmuffin about "her having low interest " or/and keeping me as an secondary , @BetterCallSaul about possible $testing or checking out my overeagerness (one of the articles said same thing - she dont want another vulture around her) and finally @ImTheDoubleGreatest! about playing some 3day test to check me up or being played by her. Funny thing is , after reading all your answers I cant really tell which was is a cause: None , one , half or all of them?

The past is the past. Forget about your past failures and inactions. They don't matter.

Instead of waiting for a green light, proceed until you get a stop light.

Assume a woman is interested until she indicates she isn't.

When a woman confuses you she's not interested. However, before you were confused by this woman, she made things crystal clear by telling you she was available.

We've all missed wide open opportunities and even opportunities we weren't aware of. The key is to take this as a lesson and move forward assuming that a girl is into you unless she shows clear disinterest.

Far too many wait for the perfect opening/line and they get blown out by guys who take the initiative.

Take the initiative.

 

[AJ84]

My two cents: don't contact her. If she contacts you to take you up on your offer and you're still interested, invite her to join something you already had planned. If you don't have anything planned, plan something. Say, " well I, going to/checking out/will be at xyz if you want to meet up with me there."

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Instead of waiting for a green light, proceed until you get a stop light.

This sums up just about everything you need to know about how to get good with women.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Hold on everyone. I know everyone is universally hammering OP because he didn't strike while the iron was hot. I agree.

HOWEVER....

OP also said he waited 2 days and followed-up. Guys, how many times have we all done this? OP does not want to appear like some giddy 14 year old about to touch his first set of tits. He also was trying to control the situation, set a date on his terms....in other words, keep frame.

This chick instead cooled off in a mere 48 hours. So she's already got new d!ck in 48 hours? Of course plenty of women can do this, but what does this say about this chick? To me it says at best this chick was only going to be a quick lay, plate at best. Now true, any of us would want a lay and/or plate, but I'm also trying to say this guy at least has some dignity.

 

[SuckItUp]

Hold on everyone. I know everyone is universally hammering OP because he didn't strike while the iron was hot. I agree.

HOWEVER....

OP also said he waited 2 days and followed-up. Guys, how many times have we all done this? OP does not want to appear like some giddy 14 year old about to touch his first set of tits. He also was trying to control the situation, set a date on his terms....in other words, keep frame.

This chick instead cooled off in a mere 48 hours. So she's already got new d!ck in 48 hours? Of course plenty of women can do this, but what does this say about this chick? To me it says at best this chick was only going to be a quick lay, plate at best. Now true, any of us would want a lay and/or plate, but I'm also trying to say this guy at least has some dignity.

That may be true but it also maybe that she was in emotional crisis and that laying her would have soothed her crisis and she would be a suitable partner.

Even if she wasn't he could smash and then have no regrets knowing that she wasn't suitable. The worst thing is not taking action and living with the what ifs