Going to take a break from women, need to get back on purpose

[Infern0]

It's something i struggle with

I go through phases of self improvement, disregarding women, and i make great progress, get my life going real well, on top of my finances etc.

Then i go back into the field, and everything seems to start going to ****, I spend too much money, forget my priorities, and start going backwards on self improvement, and even "forget" what i've learned for a while there.

I need a time out, i've even started having issues with a plate where I KNOW the way to handle it but i'm getting like "afc flashbacks". It's not like i'm going full AFC mode but i started to make small errors which i recognized almost immediately but the damage was done.

It doesn't help that i've been ill lately which is making me feel weak and depressed.

Anyway, don't know the point of this post really just feel dissapointed in myself.

 

[ImprovingJuan]

good luck bro. take your time and come back twice as strong

 

[Rockmantis]

i've had a lot of benefits from taking breaks too.

 

[resilient]

It's good that you recognized yourself dipping into AFC flashbacks. Keep using that observing ego to improve relationships moving forward. It's good for a DJ to take breaks and refocus the mindset of one's journey when necessary.

 

[wifehunter]

Yeah, anytime I feel that hated innerwuss, I bail. Good call!!!

 

[Plums]

Who or what are you trying to be?

 

[Von]

It's something i struggle with

I go through phases of self improvement, disregarding women, and i make great progress, get my life going real well, on top of my finances etc.

Then i go back into the field, and everything seems to start going to ****, I spend too much money, forget my priorities, and start going backwards on self improvement, and even "forget" what i've learned for a while there.

I need a time out, i've even started having issues with a plate where I KNOW the way to handle it but i'm getting like "afc flashbacks". It's not like i'm going full AFC mode but i started to make small errors which i recognized almost immediately but the damage was done.

It doesn't help that i've been ill lately which is making me feel weak and depressed.

Anyway, don't know the point of this post really just feel dissapointed in myself.

Feel you, same here, it feel cyclical, you always feel you missing something...so you revert back.

I suggest going all 100% within the "cycle".. and slowy add hours (100% plate, than go 95, 90,85 etc) and to help that... schedule your stuff.

I started doing that and in the past month been good.... I balanced, dating, dance, work, gym, and my studies been more concrete.

Good luck report.

Also, handwritting your goals help

 

[Infern0]

Who or what are you trying to be?

For me man i mean i had a rough start and only found self improvement a couple of years ago so im trying to fix all kinds of mistakes ive made in my life

Im currently working and studying with the aim of getting better career options, but me and a friend do have a plan to get into the fitness industry and start our own business.

When asked the question you ask, i guess i just want to be succesful. I want to achieve in life so that when one day i have kids they dont have to go through what i did growing up. I mean thats the real aim.

And i want to have fun until then and just enjoy life man.

 

[bigneil]

Never stop fielding women who fall at your feet.

Why are you feeling ill?

 

[Plums]

For me man i mean i had a rough start and only found self improvement a couple of years ago so im trying to fix all kinds of mistakes ive made in my life

Im currently working and studying with the aim of getting better career options, but me and a friend do have a plan to get into the fitness industry and start our own business.

When asked the question you ask, i guess i just want to be succesful. I want to achieve in life so that when one day i have kids they dont have to go through what i did growing up. I mean thats the real aim.

And i want to have fun until then and just enjoy life man.

It sounds like a really good plan and I suppose what you are saying then it takes a lot of self discipline to stay on track with it but sometimes your focus goes and you feel yourself go astray.
I think it is good to remember what you are aiming to move away from in your past as long as its just to motivate yourself. But it is important to remember it is the past. Whatever we have done or had done to us in the past is gone. Only take the lessons that you can use from it and then forget the rest. Its important not to reward yourself with bad behaviour that does you no good for wrongs that were done to you in the past because then you are continuing the abuse and allowing it to control you. Maybe you do this sometimes and you realise and it makes you feel like you have let yourself down. Don't be to hard on yourself you sound like you have a lot of self awareness. We all make mistakes. Just learn from them and move on. New day new you sort of thing. Don't let regret stand in your way. Just re focus and thank the bad day for the lesson, file it away and get on.
I know it sounds very old fashioned but it is good to keep a journal in which you can record achievements because it reminds you of how you are progressing. I did this after a very serious accident that took me years to recover from. I couldn't walk for a long time and got depressed because I could not see my recovery at all. When I started to keep the journal I could look back at the time when I couldn't brush my own hair and realise that I had improved because now I could. It really motivated me, so it may be something you could try.
Just remember that if you have a bad day, its not the end of the world.

 

[Reykhel]

Yeah, anytime I feel that hated innerwuss, I bail. Good call!!!

Instead of staying there, confronting your fears and overcoming them.

I go through phases of self improvement, disregarding women, and i make great progress, get my life going real well, on top of my finances etc.

Life is curved. Sometimes you're going to be more on top of certain goals than others. Usually it's poor time management that
distracts one from reaching one's goals. Women can become a distraction if you're making them too much of a priority and not
managing your time around them well. Perhaps you are giving yourself too much to them.

A mini monk period can be valuable if you are losing track of your goals and spending more than you wish on social interactions that
are not really contributing to your grand vision. However, it always works best for me to have at least one girl whom there's no danger of becoming attached to, to fulfill the sexual needs side of things. In fact, the more I reflect, I'm convinced it's a question of time management.

I need a time out, i've even started having issues with a plate where I KNOW the way to handle it but i'm getting like "afc flashbacks". It's not like i'm going full AFC mode but i started to make small errors which i recognized almost immediately but the damage was done.

Always going to happen now and again. Are you placing huge expectations on your shoulders. You're supposed to be this transformed super plater now, so any little error and you're severely harsh on yourself. To error is human.

t doesn't help that i've been ill lately which is making me feel weak and depressed.

This is an important moment. When you're a man and you're weak, or depressed or broke....nobody gives a fvck about you and nobody respects you. Contrast that with being a woman who when they are depressed will always have a plethora of thirsty beta white knights running to do favors for them, all too eager to pay their rent when they are broke...

You don't have that luxury. As a man you sink or swim. This is the moment when you need to embrace the adversity. Need the adversity. Welcome the adversity. When things are going "badly" this is the time where you can become stronger mentally. We as men, need adversity. We need conflict. We need trials and tribulations.

It's when things are going "well" that people usually take their eye of the fvcking ball. They don't notice that they're getting fat. They don't notice that their losing their edge. They're slipping and they cannot see. When things are going well, we need to be more alert to imminent dangers. When things are going badly, we need to welcome the opportunity to test our mettle.

Give me battle, give me battle scars.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Never stop fielding women who fall at your feet.

Have personally never wanted to take a break from women.

Further to add to these, the moment you decide that you're not interested or become so, or take a break, eligible women will start appearing everywhere. That said, enjoy your life and all that comes with.

 

[cola]

It's something i struggle with

I go through phases of self improvement, disregarding women, and i make great progress, get my life going real well, on top of my finances etc.

Then i go back into the field, and everything seems to start going to ****, I spend too much money, forget my priorities, and start going backwards on self improvement, and even "forget" what i've learned for a while there.

I need a time out, i've even started having issues with a plate where I KNOW the way to handle it but i'm getting like "afc flashbacks". It's not like i'm going full AFC mode but i started to make small errors which i recognized almost immediately but the damage was done.

It doesn't help that i've been ill lately which is making me feel weak and depressed.

Anyway, don't know the point of this post really just feel dissapointed in myself.

You ever think it's having multiple plates?
I find when I have multiple plates its a drain financially & a drain on time.

Its cheaper to date one at a time.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Then i go back into the field, and everything seems to start going to ****,

Sounds to me like whenever you do go back into the field, you don't have any boundaries. Consider creating a list of non-negotiables, things that will force you to eject no matter what. (money spent, time with a girl, red flags, etc.).

It's easy to get lost if anything if you don't impose any constraints.

But if you HAVE constraints in place to keep you from going crazy, anything can be more manageable.

@cola 's suggestion of only one girl at at time would be an example.

Time per week on girls.

Money per week on girls.

Number of girls per week, etc.

Once you reach your limit, get out, no excuses.