When Date Asks for Curfew?

[bigneil]

So I met a new girl and we had a couple dates, but yesterday I asked her out for this week and while she agreed and initiated this afternoon to confirm, she said "I'd love to meet but I need to know what time I'll be home because I made plans with my roommate before bed".

I'm not sure how to reply.

Some ideas:

1) "I just remembered I need to wash my hair that day. And babysit for my sister".
2) (No reply at all)
3) "That's fine because my boss asked me to work late that day so maybe some other time."
4) (Say that's fine and provide curfew time).

My feeling is that a woman with sufficient interest wouldn't impose a curfew.

 

[darksprezzatura]

If I were you I'd just say, "I wouldn't want you to jeopardise your plans with your roommate. I'll give you a call when I'm free next"

This way you have a chance to implicitly convey high value, non-neediness, being understanding and dread.

Either she'll cave in and tell you she cancelled it with her roommate, or you could just meet her some other day.

 

[Plums]

So I met a new girl and we had a couple dates, but yesterday I asked her out for this week and while she agreed and initiated this afternoon to confirm, she said "I'd love to meet but I need to know what time I'll be home because I made plans with my roommate before bed".

I'm not sure how to reply.

Some ideas:

1) "I just remembered I need to wash my hair that day. And babysit for my sister".
2) (No reply at all)
3) "That's fine because my boss asked me to work late that day so maybe some other time."
4) (Say that's fine and provide curfew time).

My feeling is that a woman with sufficient interest wouldn't impose a curfew.

I think you should go with your gut feelings.

 

[bigneil]

I told her I was too busy with work and apologized but said I needed to cancel the date.

 

[Plums]

I told her I was too busy with work and apologized but said I needed to cancel the date.

Good for you, life is too short to accommodate t.wats in it.

 

[bigneil]

Good for you, life is too short to accommodate t.wats in it.

The idea that she might have another romantic date set up after was enough to make me want to vomit.

Now, if she does have another date, it will be lackluster as she keeps checking her phone.

 

[Plums]

The idea that she might have another romantic date set up after was enough to make me want to vomit.

Now, if she does have another date, it will be lackluster as she keeps checking her phone.

That's rude and disrespectful of her, one day she will wonder why she can't get and keep a boyfriend. Meanwhile you spend your time looking for a girl who is proud to be with you. It will make all the difference.

 

[bigneil]

What threw me for a loop was, I found myself wanting to complain about her curfew. I make it a policy never to complain. That said, I was on the hook for the date, and didn't want to stand her up. So I told her I was busy at work. I haven't checked my phone the the 3 hours since. I was due on the date this minute.

 

[Plums]

What threw me for a loop was, I found myself wanting to complain about her curfew. I make it a policy never to complain. That said, I was on the hook for the date, and didn't want to stand her up. So I told her I was busy at work. I haven't checked my phone the the 3 hours since. I was due on the date this minute.

It's during these times that I recommend a long hot bath and a good book. Oh, and some chocolate, but you can have a beer. Smile, be happy.

 

[amazingswayze]

The idea that she might have another romantic date set up after was enough to make me want to vomit.

Now, if she does have another date, it will be lackluster as she keeps checking her phone.

These hoes book double headers!

 

[Bible_Belt]

"I'd love to meet but I need to know what time I'll be home because I made plans with my roommate before bed".

She's trying to discretely tell you that you are not going to get laid on the first date.

 

[bigneil]

It's during these times that I recommend a long hot bath and a good book. Oh, and some chocolate, but you can have a beer. Smile, be happy.

I literally became exhausted just thinking about it.

 

[bigneil]

Agreed. Your #2 idea is best, in my opinion. Silence is almost always effective.

My suggestion:

1. "It seems like you have other priorities on that day so let's reschedule. Let me know which day/time you're free and I'll let you know if that works for me."

I truly wanted that solution, but I try to be a man of my word, and I did what she would have done - come up with some bullsh!t excuse (I told her I was exhausted with work, but was actually exhausted thinking about her). She'll have to wonder - because, as one of my all time best seducer friends always said "That's what they'd be doing".

 

[Glassguy]

"Tell your roommate that if we are having fun she might have to wait up for you this time."

If she insists on being back for her roommate, gracefully back out as you did. If it's high interest she won't worry about her roommate. You did the right thing but withdrawing your offer and knocking the ball back over the net to her to act. That's the only way you're going to raise her interest level early in the game. Walk away nicely and see if her wheels start turning.

 

[darksprezzatura]

In my opinion might be best to ask: "Will you cancel plans with your roommate and spend the evening with me instead?"

That's giving her the power and conveys neediness. Her snatch would dry up a little.

The idea that she might have another romantic date set up after was enough to make me want to vomit.

Now, if she does have another date, it will be lackluster as she keeps checking her phone.

She has plans with her 'guy roommate' ? WTF
She's just playing dread on YOU and telling you she has options.

Never have a woman play dread.

This girl isn't worth enough a post here.
Soft next her. Go NC for a couple of days.
I bet she'll reinitaite.
If she leaves she leaves, you don't need stress in your life.

 

[Desdinova]

she said "I'd love to meet but I need to know what time I'll be home because I made plans with my roommate before bed".

This is what you do...

- Set a reasonable curfew. Make it like 8:30 PM
- Make the date extremely fun, and aim to have the highlight around 7:30
- In the middle of the date, tell her "Aw 5hit, I should take you home. Can't be late for your curfew!"

I guarantee that she'll break her curfew. Women indulge in whatever they're feeling at the moment.

 

[bigneil]

Indeed this is a good question and one DJ's should be prepared for.

Here is where you really have to avoid being a sucker, especially if you take them to nice restaurants, etc. She'll have a fancy dinner with you and then bring a 6 pack of Meister Brae to the dorm.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I've become a proponent of outright rejection when women are up to their tricks. If more of us rejected women for their nonsense, then women-at-large would clean up their act in a heartbeat.

"No thanks. I go out to have fun and relax without time constraints. Some other time maybe."

 

[bigneil]

I've become a proponent of outright rejection when women are up to their tricks. If more of us rejected women for their nonsense, then women-at-large would clean up their act in a heartbeat.

"No thanks. I go out to have fun and relax without time constraints. Some other time maybe."

Exactly. It occurred to me that other men must be putting up with this crap for her to even attempt it! It's a test of sorts. We see if they will wear handcuffs, they try this crap.

 

[Glassguy]

I've become a proponent of outright rejection when women are up to their tricks. If more of us rejected women for their nonsense, then women-at-large would clean up their act in a heartbeat.

"No thanks. I go out to have fun and relax without time constraints. Some other time maybe."

I agree 100%.

I'll throw this recent situation out there:

A chick I used to hook up with for a few months last summer started randomly hitting me up. The occasional "what are you doing this weekend" texts. No matter what I said, she replied with "sounds fun. Wish I could join". Now I know this chick is a classic attention wh0re and is probably out for validation. Not once did I actually break down and invite her over the past 2 months as she sent these texts.

Last week she pulled the "sounds fun" and I invited her to meet a few of us out. She came back with "it will be late once I finish cross fit but I'd like to go IF you'll wait on me. I'd like to meet you at your place and ride with you". No problem. I tell her that I dont want to go out super late so she says she might "skip crossfit". I tell her she may be in for a workout before the night ends anyway. "Sounds good. I will let you know asap if I am going to crossfit or not".

I messaged her a few hours later with "Crossfit or no? What time should I expect you?"

After that it was crickets. I know that she got the attention validation she has been looking for with me for several months. I caved and she knew it. Game over.

I said nothing else, but I removed her as a fb friend a few days later. Once she realized it, she shot me a text asking me why.

I merely said "My fb is for friends, not attention wh0res. You obviously dont have your sh!t together and thats not someone I will keep around on fb as a friend. My time is too valuable to waste on someone that can't get back to me in a few hours for plans that day"

Nothing else. Now I wouldnt normally do something so drastic. I would merely go radio silent. Although this chick has been looking for validation that I refused to give her for 2 months. Screw that. It did feel good to slap her in the face with an emotional backhand that I would not have done if I wasnt going to walk away from her permanently.

I dont think it is a bad idea to SHOW your self respect once you are intentionally disrespected. There is much to be said for someone who has NO problem walking away from a disrespectful chick, no matter what level the relationship is on.

I would bet the house that she will ping text me in the next few weeks. I'd bet more that she doesnt get a response.