Completing that road to recovery from an AFC past and why it's not about women alone.

[Listen_to_Olly]

As many posts here have indicated, a large section of guys on this site weren't Mr. Popular in high school or even their college years, something that @Trainwreck has occasionally hinted at bothering him. I had my struggles in high school but did make the recovery in college but the more I think about it, it wasn't just about not being good with the opposite sex.

In adolescence and even college, society treats young men who are desired by women differently.

Look at how the popular guy is treated in those years compared to an AFC that doesn't get it or had unusual circumstances. I feel that these years are a building block for that sense of fulfillment in a guy or how he approaches life. When you look back at it, the popular guy was not just good with women but he had various avenues to build up his confidence.

Maybe he was a football star.

Maybe he was a stereotypical trust fund baby.

Maybe he hit his peak in terms of looks early.

Point being he wasn't just good with women; he was likely admired by his peers, respected by his fellow men, seeing as higher status in the social circles, and respected by society around him.

Too many guys try to make up for lost time if they had that sort of an AFC past by attempting to sleep with as many different women as possible but I think it's more than that.

I notice a lot of guys brag about it, they want an audience, and they aren't in it for the sex alone.

Because when you look back, the guy who was good with girls had more going for him than just being good with girls. The guy who wasn't an AFC had that respect from society, sense of self-worth, and was validated for who he was.

So when you hear BS on here about "forget validation" and "look within yourself for answers", that's all it is, garbage answers because it can't admit the cold hard truth that all of us need to be validated and acknowledged for our good traits. If that wasn't true, a 300 lb videogame nerd could easily go around saying he is "alpha".

But then age hits, life in the real world is different.

You sleep with a hot girl, no one really cares because you are not in the same environment as high school or college, that closed system.

You date a hot girl, no one really cares because people are past that.

So the road to recovery for AFCs becomes harder, even if you do become good with women, it doesn't really matter that you are good with women because you have only addressed one part of the issue.

The other part is getting validated and acknowledged by society as being a legit alpha, that part is tricky. It is about having that cool factor and high status attached to you that you never had in school. It is about finally knowing that you are a part of the winning team now.

Maybe Donald Trump or Dan Bilzerian can win that acknowledgement but what about the other adult men?

 

[btownbuck2012]

Why do other people have to acknowledge you in order for you to feel good about yourself dude?

 

[bigneil]

Why do other people have to acknowledge you in order for you to feel good about yourself dude?

Olly is the most bizarre SS member. Note how they idolize high school trust fund holders, while claiming that a man who is self made but over age 25 is somehow sub-par. I've assumed it's a woman who saw her beauty fade and is desperately trying to pretend that men are in the same boat, that everyone is past their prime after college. No. Hookers are past their prime after college. Men just get started around age 30.

 

[bigneil]

Because when you look back, the guy who was good with girls had more going for him than just being good with girls. The guy who wasn't an AFC had that respect from society, sense of self-worth, and was validated for who he was....
But then age hits, life in the real world is different.

Actually, when you look forth, the guy who is good with girls has more going for him than just being good with girls. A job for example.

 

[Trainwreck]

College is nothing but an adult daycare for kids that become popular based off how much money mommy and daddy are willing to go in to debt for them to live like a prince/princess. I was in a fraternity and I was always just the black guy that nobody would ever seriously and I was never given a position to do so. The most popular guys came in with a strong connection from high school already or just attracted a lot of attention from women because they were fratty or hipster white guys. After college, these people are dumped in to reality because mommy and daddy cannot afford to fund their lifestyles anymore and they didn't learn any valuable skills in college because the environment was extremely artificial and fake.

My closest friends in college were pretty much outlasted like me because of the artificialness of college. My friend that couldn't get in to any fraternity in college is now living in Miami with a decent job and hosting parties pretty frequently. Another friend is in med school and about to move to Los Angeles. Another friend is making bank in Chicago right now. Guess what happened to all the popular frat kids that I still keep up with? One is a 3rd shift warehouse manager in bfe Arkansas. Another is working at Walmart as a cashier. Another one has gained a lot of weight, lonely, and hates his life. The rest just never left their college town/college group and just do nothing. On the other hand, I have a decent job and I'm striving to do more, drive a new GT mustang, have a gf, have a healthy social life, and I'm developing myself physically and mentally.

Don't base yourself off of what happened to college because the environment is so artificial and fake. If you majored in a **** major or had terrible grades then I can't help you lol.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

@Trainwreck

Your post is a fairy tale story not really all that common. What I found was that majority of the frat guys and popular Greek Life folks in college got jobs in big name cities, enjoyed their twenties there, often grouped up together, and expanded their social circle from that. Most of the popular kids I look back on now from college are living in NYC, taking pics with celebs, doing interesting things with their lives, and have a lively social experience going for them.

As for your friend in Miami, how does he find new people to invite to his house party?

Your friend in med school in LA is headed towards debt and a gruesome study schedule.

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

@bigneil and others clearly missed the point of my post

Because the reality is validation is all, at some point those that are confident in themselves had it and then moved on from it.

The guys who never had it or never had that warmth of a social circle, fun social experiences with others around their age, and that status associated with being high value are left lost. It is not about what others think, it is about fixing yourself to the point you can move on from it all and live life.

The late bloomers who got a fancy job are still in that inferiority mindset compared to the kids who hit their social stride earlier in life.

 

[bigneil]

The late bloomers who got a fancy job are still in that inferiority mindset compared to the kids who hit their social stride earlier in life.

Says who? Get this through your f*cking head: Learning how to earn money is more important than having a rich mommy and daddy.

 

[Trainwreck]

@bigneil and others clearly missed the point of my post

Because the reality is validation is all, at some point those that are confident in themselves had it and then moved on from it.

The guys who never had it or never had that warmth of a social circle, fun social experiences with others around their age, and that status associated with being high value are left lost. It is not about what others think, it is about fixing yourself to the point you can move on from it all and live life.

The late bloomers who got a fancy job are still in that inferiority mindset compared to the kids who hit their social stride earlier in life.

Not everybody in my fraternity were @$$holes. Most of them are doing well in life and will continue to do so. I'd rather be them then be crammed in some rat infested closet in the putrid city of NYC paying 1k plus in rent. I think you're the one living the fairy tale life my friend. You are a sad man and you constantly resek validation for your social failures on this site. Dude, it's never going to happen so quit constantly making the same two topics over and over again. It's never going to give you a white girl and it's never going to make you a cool bro. You live in the most dominant city in the world and you are constantly making the same two topics over and over again. The problem is definitely you!!!

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

Not everybody in my fraternity were @$$holes. Most of them are doing well in life and will continue to do so. I'd rather be them then be crammed in some rat infested closet in the putrid city of NYC paying 1k plus in rent. I think you're the one living the fairy tale life my friend. You are a sad man and you constantly resek validation for your social failures on this site. Dude, it's never going to happen so quit constantly making the same two topics over and over again. It's never going to give you a white girl and it's never going to make you a cool bro. You live in the most dominant city in the world and you are constantly making the same two topics over and over again. The problem is definitely you!!!

You should be the last guy on this board to tell anyone they have problems because you probably whine more about race and not being able to get white girls than anyone on here. If anyone here is fantasizing, it is you thinking you will get a 10/10 white girl that will never cheat on you and be your loyal servant despite being a whiny black guy with no value to offer.

Yes I live in a big city, you will never make it here.

You could be building your career to move here one day but you don't work on that, instead day in and day out you are arguing with people on this forum or whining.

Just face the truth man, you will not make it at all and you will be in the same exact spot 10 years from now.