Why do women start backtracking when they see you are serious?

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Something I notice amongst women that start to lose respect for you is they start pushing your buttons in small subtle ways and you blow it off because hey, you shouldn't be affected by that crap right? Well the saying goes, when you give an inch, they take a mile. And that's kinda what starts to happen. Those small subtle instigation eventually become full blown disrespectful insults. Some of you say that you can't let others' opinions bother you like that so you just let it roll over. But yet others say that you as a man cannot be disrespected. I say that there is a balance that you need to find, and that balance differs between person to person.

But that's besides the point. From something I notice is that when women start pushing your buttons, eventually stuff starts to add up and you snap or you tell them off. Then they start backtracking and saying stuff like "Oh it's not a big deal we were just joking around, what's your problem?" Or "you're only mad because you did something wrong against us and you know it so your just attacking us first" or some other manipulation of the situation so that it turns in their favor like they didn't do anything wrong; they start backtracking. But only when you get serious. I guess that's why the stereotype is that they love the jerks because they don't quite disrespect them as much as the nice guy. But why do they start backtracking as soon as they sense you getting serious though?

 

[JonnyD123]

They very soon give it up, and meet you in your energy. Because that's the state they really want.

I like this

 

[Tenacity]

From something I notice is that when women start pushing your buttons, eventually stuff starts to add up and you snap or you tell them off. Then they start backtracking and saying stuff like "Oh it's not a big deal we were just joking around, what's your problem?" Or "you're only mad because you did something wrong against us and you know it so your just attacking us first" or some other manipulation of the situation so that it turns in their favor like they didn't do anything wrong; they start backtracking. But only when you get serious. I guess that's why the stereotype is that they love the jerks because they don't quite disrespect them as much as the nice guy. But why do they start backtracking as soon as they sense you getting serious though?

One thing I'm going to tell you kid, is that when women are giving you a lot of drama like this, it's best to walk away and block her a.ss, why? Because you don't want to be hit with a domestic violence charge.

Sometimes a chick will PUSH you to the limit because a real man is supposed to "handle her", but you end up putting hands on her a.ss or yelling too loud to where the neighbors call the Cops. If the Cops show up, one of you has to be arrested....I'll let you guess who that's going to be.

This cartoon fantasy forum talks a lot about "domination" and "controlling the frame", and all of that is good if you have a woman with a LEVEL head that allows you to be able to do that. But if you have to YELL, force, or do anything similar....it's not worth it.

 

[wifehunter]

Cowardice

 

[Serenity]

They're trying to get away with it instead of taking responsibility, basically they want to avoid admitting they did something wrong. They're pvssies, both literally and figuratively speaking.

If she's taking it too far I get serious and draw the line. I want to hear a sincere apology in those cases, not stupid minimalizing excuses. I will not back down from that until she takes responsibility or I run out of patience and tell her it's over, on the spot.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think there is rarely any need for proper overtly bollocking a woman.

Did this plenty in the past. Even when it works, it's usually a very temporary fix.

Get much better results now from simply using natural dread.

When they do throw barbs (mostly when they aren't getting their own way), stay positive and act completely ignorant about it. Just act like you've got too thick a head for the nonsense to enter. Or you are just too wrapped up in your own little world.

They very soon give it up, and meet you in your energy. Because that's the state they really want.

If they do carry it on, it leads to more dread. Because I simply don't want to be around it. You can only throw barbs if you're giving the goods and making an effort to be valuable. Nagging otherwise is just going to get them dumped, and they seem to know that. Women roughly know what they can get away with 9 times out of 10.



It's less about being a jerk, more about not being needy, IMO.

Agree 100% with deesade on this. A woman's currency is attention. Withdraw your attention if you are getting ball busting behavior. No need to say a word, no need to be unpleasant. She'll figure it right out. No explanation required.

Works best if there is another attractive woman nearby whom you can pay attention to, but you don't do that to elicit jealousy, you do it rather to reward behavior you appreciate & discourage or ignore behavior you do not appreciate.

 

[bigneil]

In a relationship where two people actually love each other, it's not constant who is on top. The script gets flipped. Who has the upper hand regarding the current psychology? One minute you think they never cared, then they confess they always loved you. That's the game in a nutshell.

You never own them. In the old days, if I had kissed her 3 weeks ago I thought I had her forever. Now, after having the best sex of my life 2 hours ago, I realize she might never call me again. That's reality. I won't cry if it happens. I won't say something is wrong with her. I won't say it's BPD (even though she actually has it). I'll just seek self improvement as always.

In the process you observe something: people don't always tell you exactly how they feel. But with women, they can't hide it more than 2 weeks.

Women start backtracking when they consistently see you are more serious than they are, and that you have no options they would be jealous of.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Women start backtracking when they consistently see you are more serious than they are, and that you have no options they would be jealous of.

Why is this so?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

They're trying to get away with it instead of taking responsibility, basically they want to avoid admitting they did something wrong. They're pvssies, both literally and figuratively speaking.

If she's taking it too far I get serious and draw the line. I want to hear a sincere apology in those cases, not stupid minimalizing excuses. I will not back down from that until she takes responsibility or I run out of patience and tell her it's over, on the spot.

Typically this is how I see myself reacting too, and I think you are right about it then being wusses. I was just wondering about this since I've noticed it all across the board even to my family members with how they treat one another even. I was wondering if this is just a universal truth.

 

[Serenity]

Typically this is how I see myself reacting too, and I think you are right about it then being wusses. I was just wondering about this since I've noticed it all across the board even to my family members with how they treat one another even. I was wondering if this is just a universal truth.

Not universal, but pretty common in the US I think. It's not that bad in Norway, but it's not uncommon.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Rollo has recently printed a good article about submission which makes a lot of sense.

https://therationalmale.com/2017/04/30/submission/

The thing that caught my eye way this...

"The more a man must sell himself as a potential sex partner is inversely related to a woman’s hindbrains instinctual uncertainty of his potential..."

A woman's testing, and the man's reaction are just evolutionary fitness strategies. The fitter the man is, in the absence of testing, the fewer tests he receives. The more unphased he consistently remains and the more seamlessly he passes a test, the fitter he is.

Just as seduction is a subtle, covert art form for a man to master, so is the passing of the inevitable test; as is invariably the communication of his displeasure with a woman's behaviour.

In summary, as @deesade has explained, overt communication of boundaries / standards is a sign that the guard has slipped, or at least, your worth is genuinely in question. To go back to Rollo's quote, overt communication of any kind, is usually persuasive, or 'selling' what should already be signed, sealed and delivered.

On the other hand, the man who is truly in control and self respecting will rarely if ever have to 'have a word'. Rather, it is his non verbal demeanour that is indicative of what he stands for, what he does and doesn't abide.

 

[bigneil]

Why (do they backtrack when they realize you have no options they would be jealous of)?

Did you ever bid X amount on eBay on a Make Offer and the person takes the offer and you wish you made a lower offer?

This is how women feel when they realize their man has no better options than her.

Example: Last week I said the wrong thing and then when I didn't reply my girlfriend cancelled our date last minute. I went out and found another girl using my ESP. It took 24 minutes to get a phone number (it took my girlfriend 25 minutes to email a long explanation, missing by one minute as I checked my phone before asking the other girl out). I didn't reply. Four days later she texted to say she missed me. I told her I still loved her and I thanked her for cancelling and said it was exactly what was fated to happen, and that fate might be taking us apart now. Then I went on a date with the other girl, a little known seduction technique where the man takes a girl out for dinner and (get this) - pays for dinner. The moment I got home my girlfriend texted to say she really wanted to see me. She sent me a photo of her dad for the first time and started talking about him a lot. Last night we had out best date, and I showed her photos from my date with the other girl two nights earlier. Then when she came over she found something romantic that another girl had left (a different girl). What effect do you think this had? Most guys if they got stood up would have sent her a long letter saying they don't know what it is but there is just something about her and no other girls do it for him (namely put out).

One of the best things you can do for your girlfriend is let her watch you seduce another hot girl.

 

[Red Legg]

It means they are having second thoughts about being serious with you or weighing their options with other men hanging around in the background.When this happens just slow down to a snails pace and let her catch up.

 

[logicallefty]

OP, it's called being passive aggressive. I don't have time to explain it in full now but its good knowledge to have if you either date women and/or have a job. It can go on right before you eyes and if you are not familiar with the behavior patterns of it you can get kicked in the teeth by people and not even know it,

 

[Billtx49]

It means they are having second thoughts about being serious with you or weighing their options with other men hanging around in the background.When this happens just slow down to a snails pace and let her catch up.

Yes, It usually means that he's moving faster than she is…

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Love is a divine dichotomy. When you can live within this dichotomy, you will be a Don Juan. The attitude is that while the women are no longer with you, they always belong to you. They still love you, even if they branch off somewhere else. They are capable of infinite love. Because you love them, you set them free. Love lets go and holds dear while fear traps and imprisons. Fear and lack is the same thing.

Love always rebels from limitations. Love, by definition, is total freedom. So it is ironic that human love is a form of entrapment!

What the heck does this have to do with backtracking?

Did you ever bid X amount on eBay on a Make Offer and the person takes the offer and you wish you made a lower offer?

This is how women feel when they realize their man has no better options than her.

Example: Last week I said the wrong thing and then when I didn't reply my girlfriend cancelled our date last minute. I went out and found another girl using my ESP. It took 24 minutes to get a phone number (it took my girlfriend 25 minutes to email a long explanation, missing by one minute as I checked my phone before asking the other girl out). I didn't reply. Four days later she texted to say she missed me. I told her I still loved her and I thanked her for cancelling and said it was exactly what was fated to happen, and that fate might be taking us apart now. Then I went on a date with the other girl, a little known seduction technique where the man takes a girl out for dinner and (get this) - pays for dinner. The moment I got home my girlfriend texted to say she really wanted to see me. She sent me a photo of her dad for the first time and started talking about him a lot. Last night we had out best date, and I showed her photos from my date with the other girl two nights earlier. Then when she came over she found something romantic that another girl had left (a different girl). What effect do you think this had? Most guys if they got stood up would have sent her a long letter saying they don't know what it is but there is just something about her and no other girls do it for him (namely put out).

One of the best things you can do for your girlfriend is let her watch you seduce another hot girl.

I see what you are saying. But Neil, your case is different because it is pretty much an open relationship from what I can tell. However, that last part is a really strong point nonetheless. Thanks.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Also guys, I'm not talking about any particular woman in my life that I'm having issues with. It's just something that's happened to me several times in the past month or so and I noticed that it seemed to happen to many other people as well. Men do this too sometimes, but not nearly to the extent of women which is why I ask. Don't start drawing conclusions just because I make a thread about this, I'm talking about women in GENERAL.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

In 10 years you'll know what I am talking about.

My mental age isn't getting any older than it is right now. If you cannot explain it to me now, then I will never fully understand unless I go through a massive epiphany again, and IF I go through one again, it'll be in about 3 years, not now.

The problem with your original comment is that it basically leads to cuckolding and does away with what is natural for being in favor of obtaining a 'higher state of mind'. I refuse to evolve beyond what nature has explicitly given me. There is a reason why we have not gone that far forward, and I don't believe meddling with nature will bring any positive consequences.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

In 10 years you'll know what I am talking about.

And how is love even divine to begin with? How is it even a dichotomy? I guess you could say that it's just the opposite of hate, but no one ever says hate it a divine feeling.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Love is synonymous with freedom but it involves coming together. Hence the saying "Love lets go yet holds dear." You let her go but it is your act of letting her go that brings her back. Why do you think women are repelled when you act needy, but come back to you when you act aloof? In fact, every single seduction technique involves letting her go with the intent of creating attraction (no contact, indifference, being a challenge, etc) When you live within this dichotomy, you become a Don Juan, and no woman can actually leave you.

The greatest irony of all is when you set women free, you truly love them. It is when you try to trap them that you only actually love yourself. And women can never leave the guy who sets them free. When a woman branches off to another guy, it is not because she no longer loves the first guy, it is because he was putting restrictions on her. She loves both guys but will gravitate towards the one who offers the most freedom (creates the most attraction).

It takes a supremely confident guy to handle really hot women. Notice these guys always let their women go mingle and chit chat. The woman might even tease other guys. But the alpha guy never has any fear of being cucked. It is his lack of fear, and not fear of lack, that creates attraction.

This is why a guy with harems of women stay having harems of women who love him and can never leave him. He offers the most freedom.

Most guys cannot do this because they think giving women freedom= getting cheated on. Thus, most guys are not coming from abundance. They are coming from fear and scarcity. Women are attracted to abundance, not lack. The illusion is that guys think they can actually control women.

You cannot control women. You can only attract them. However, you can even say women can be controlled indirectly through attraction. And attraction involves.....letting women go.

Attraction itself is a dichotomy. In order to have something, you must not want it.

Man, you are making this way too deep. I ask this question not wondering about them related to intimacy, but just in general throughout all forms of social situations. Even amongst friends I'm saying. I think your state of mind is on a different plane than mine right now so you interpret this thread far differently than what I actually meant by it.