How long does sex improve under ideal circumstances liked yours seemed to be?
The circumstances were anything but ideal over time.
My ex husband & I were actually chatting about this today.
In the face of an increasingly painful marriage we turned toward each other rather than away from each other. It helped us release tension, remember what was still good between us, and gave us intimacy & sexual fulfillment. There was never an issue in the desire department. Sometimes it was the calm within the storm.
We marvel, truly marvel at how the sex & intimacy continued to grow even in the face of real difficulty.
My ex still wants me to reconcile although we have both dated other people. He is utterly succinct and direct about that. He is the only man not in my league success wise who I would give the time of day. Why? Nobody knows me better, mentally and emotionally, nobody understands me better sexually and we still function as an absolute team regarding the children, our extended families and our work, where we each support each other with scheduling & childcare.
It's funny. As much as I am loathe to admit it we are in some ways bonded more strongly than many married couples...but I fear the toxicity creeping back in if indeed we reconcile, I don't want to go back into the dynamic I divorced him to get away from.
He knows I am free to meet someone else & go...I know he can do the same. Am I the best woman he can get? He thinks so but he is willing to walk completely away too. Is he the best man I can get? In some ways yes, in some ways not at all. So I have to really examine what I value where he is concerned.
This is the father of my kids, my best friend, a great lover, a great companion and a good man. I genuinely like him. Always have.
He has embarked on the journey back to being the man I fell in love with in the beginning. By going back to work, by rebuilding his pride in his body & his appearance, losing 40 lbs., by behaving like a man who has choices. Will it work out? I don't know.
Physically we were always very well matched anatomically and erotically. There has always been great desire. We always sought to please each other (and we still do
)