What aspect of your life, or your "game", do you need to personally work on most?

[TheProspect]

I decided to start a thread that promotes a little bit of introspection for those who wish to respond.

This can benefit anyone, whether you're a novice of self-improvement or a veteran of SS and "game". No one here is completely flawless nor at a point where they no longer need to make improvements, so I strongly encourage every member to contribute. It will only benefit everyone.

The question is:

What is one aspect of your game, or of your life in general, that you feel needs attention and could use the most work in order to become a better, stronger version of yourself?


I would format your responses into the following three paragraphs, answering what, why, and how:

What: What do you need to work on, what area could use improvement?

Why: Why do you feel you need to work on this area, what kind of changes will it bring to your life?

How: How are you going to improve in this area? What steps can you take in order to work towards improvement? Do you have a timeline or deadline in regards to making these changes?

If you are unable to answer the how paragraph or need assistance, say so or leave it blank and a member can quote your post and offer a solution. Remember: We are here to grow by helping each other and learn from each other.

The goal is to go out of our way to specifically pinpoint an area of our lives that we can begin to improve immediately. Posting here is public accountability. I feel we are more inspired and obligated to make changes when we share our intentions with others.

I'll restate the question:

What is one aspect of your game, or of your life in general, that you feel needs attention and could use work in order to become a better, stronger version of yourself?

 

[TheProspect]

I'll start.


What:
The biggest thing I need to work on is productivity. I need to be more productive on a daily basis, avoiding procrastination and poor habits. I would say I'm more productive than 90% of people my age but I want to be in that top 1%.

Why:
If I want to be successful and achieve everything I want in life, I am going to have to combat procrastination and make sure I am utilizing every hour of the day as efficiently as possible. If I conquer procrastination and make progress everyday towards my goals I will build momentum that compounds on itself.

How:
What works best for me is setting daily goals and accomplishing them. However, I have not been able to do this for a prolonged amount of time either because I get caught up with life or I miss a daily objective and then I eventually let the whole thing fall apart. I know I'm on the right track writing down daily goals in order to tackle more longer term ones but I need to find a way to be more consistent in order to optimize my results... I'm open to suggestions from others on what has worked for them.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I shall reference Abraham Maslow's Heirarchy of needs:

What:
Social life. The yellow category above stating love/belonging is essentially what I am talking about.

Why:
It is the main underlying cause of many of the other symptoms of stuff that I should be working on. I have fulfilled my physiological needs, safety needs, have strong esteem and sense of self, and I have a goal (or goals) that give me direction in life that would allow me to self-actualize and eventually transcend (which is a higher level than self-actualizing). But I am missing my love/belonging needs, meaning social life. A good group of 'bros' I guess. I cannot assert having high self esteem and high self-worth too unless this missing link is fulfilled. I logically know I have high self esteem/worth, but I do not FEEL it. I don't feel bad about it, and no one in this world can make me feel bad about myself, except myself. But I don't feel good either. If I am able to satisfy this, I will be able to exhibit and give off the 'vibe' or aura of someone people will want to be around more, furthering my own feelings of self.

How:
I am not completely sure. I have some guys I hang out with once a week or so, and I'm trying to hang out with some other girls as well. But something about it feels like my relationship with these people is flimsy outside of class. I've worked my way into the inner rankings of several other social groups and have even started my own a few times before too, but they were usually just temporary. I think I will try having all of us hang out again, maybe with some more people. And eventually we can do it more often as well. I could also try meetup.com or something similar. Other ideas would be appreciated.

 

[resilient]

Good thread, @TheProspect. I think it's important for us DJs to share what we're struggling with in men's issues and focus on solutions, so we can each help each other self improve. This thread is refreshing.

What:
Low self-esteem / co-dependency / dread of abandonment

Why:
I lean heavily on the main plate when we're dating and like @LARaiders85, I get attached too quickly and fall hard for the main plate. I try to lead, yet often date and attract dominant women, so their frame is stronger than mine. They're usually highly independent, extroverted, socially outgoing, career-focused, yet attention starved (need heaps of male validation). I want to be more independent myself and stop self-sabotaging relationships when they get close due to dread of abandonment and co-dependency issues. I want to care less of what others think of me. I want to be more secure in my decisions and where I'm going in life with my career and other long-term goals with self-discipline and consistency. I want to believe in myself with less doubting. I don't want to internalize other's rejection of me, especially a main plates when she monkey branches. I'm trying to cultivate more self-compassion and trust within myself.

How:
I bought this self-esteem e-course through The Positivity Blog. It's 12 mp3s, a workbook, and small e-book that focuses on progression over twelve weeks. We'll see how that goes. Also, I'm weekly individual therapy for the next weeks to work on childhood to present related issues of abandonment and rejection. Other ways I'm rebuilding my self-esteem: bulking in the gym daily, gaining weight for the confidence lift, practicing the electric guitar daily, schooling, leading a Meetup group event as an organizer, and other hobbies...

 

[wifehunter]

These plates are sooooo hot....it takes extreme self control, not to chase.

But, it helps to know that chasing them, is a fools errand.

 

[Roober]

I still feel AFC "nice guy" tendencies. They are just hiding beneath the surface. Additionally, I want to get better at approaching women in public.

 

[wifehunter]

I still feel AFC "nice guy" tendencies. They are just hiding beneath the surface. Additionally, I want to get better at approaching women in public.

In school, my best results were when we would tease girls, by putting them in trash cans. (empty) Fun times!!!

 

[AlphaNate]

What:
Have more money.

Why:
I want more money.

How:
Make more money.

 

[The Duke]

What:
The biggest problem I have is getting complacent in my long term relationships. I’m a hunter and like to conquer something. I like to learn what makes a female tick and use that to amplify attraction. Once I have them head of heels for me and its no longer a challenge I start to lose interest in my significant other. I begin to ignore them and pull away attention.

Why:
I really would like to find a girlfriend I can have a great relationship with and have for the rest of my life. In order to do this I have to find fulfillment in other aspects of the relationship other than the hunting stage.

How:
I’m not 100% sure. I’m open to ideas! One thing that helped keep my exwife and I going for so many years was we only lived together 5 out of the 15yrs so the relationship never got routine. We also took a lot of trips together. There was a new adventure all the time and we saw a lot of new places together. I really like dating and I think to stay with a chic long term I need to continue to “date” her. It’s a lot easier to do when you don’t live together.

It seems the girls I’ve been with that were more of a challenge to keep inline kept my attraction longer. I enjoy working to keep them attracted, so I want a girl that can provide me with a continuous challenge. Guess that’s why I like girls that have a little attitude, and throw out some drama from time to time. Haha It doesn’t matter what it is in life, if its easy I lose interest.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

These plates are sooooo hot....it takes extreme self control, not to chase.

But, it helps to know that chasing them, is a fools errand.

The "chaser" is just like a "chaser" in an alcoholic drink! You get added to it, but don't get none... Let some other dummies chase.

 

[BeTheChange]

I shall reference Abraham Maslow's Heirarchy of needs:
View attachment 698
What:
Social life. The yellow category above stating love/belonging is essentially what I am talking about.

Why:
It is the main underlying cause of many of the other symptoms of stuff that I should be working on. I have fulfilled my physiological needs, safety needs, have strong esteem and sense of self, and I have a goal (or goals) that give me direction in life that would allow me to self-actualize and eventually transcend (which is a higher level than self-actualizing). But I am missing my love/belonging needs, meaning social life. A good group of 'bros' I guess. I cannot assert having high self esteem and high self-worth too unless this missing link is fulfilled. I logically know I have high self esteem/worth, but I do not FEEL it. I don't feel bad about it, and no one in this world can make me feel bad about myself, except myself. But I don't feel good either. If I am able to satisfy this, I will be able to exhibit and give off the 'vibe' or aura of someone people will want to be around more, furthering my own feelings of self.

How:
I am not completely sure. I have some guys I hang out with once a week or so, and I'm trying to hang out with some other girls as well. But something about it feels like my relationship with these people is flimsy outside of class. I've worked my way into the inner rankings of several other social groups and have even started my own a few times before too, but they were usually just temporary. I think I will try having all of us hang out again, maybe with some more people. And eventually we can do it more often as well. I could also try meetup.com or something similar. Other ideas would be appreciated.

Mate, this post really resonates with me. Word for word this could be something I wrote.

Developing a solid social circle is far more important than women for your long term happiness IMO. I relied quite heavily on a core group of friends, one of whom moved to Australia in February and I've been struggling to find people to hang out with consistently. It really does slowly chip away at your contentment.

Last night I went out with a friend and a salsa buddy. We grabbed some food and I even managed to pick up a girls number randomly while out, even though none of us were out "on the pull". Honestly just hanging out with the boys made me happier than any date I've been on this year.

I think men on some instinctual level crave comrardery and the companionship of other men. Honestly I believe it's worth sitting down and focusing making your social circle growth a legitimate goal.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Mate, this post really resonates with me. Word for word this could be something I wrote.

Developing a solid social circle is far more important than women for your long term happiness IMO. I relied quite heavily on a core group of friends, one of whom moved to Australia in February and I've been struggling to find people to hang out with consistently. It really does slowly chip away at your contentment.

Last night I went out with a friend and a salsa buddy. We grabbed some food and I even managed to pick up a girls number randomly while out, even though none of us were out "on the pull". Honestly just hanging out with the boys made me happier than any date I've been on this year.

I think men on some instinctual level crave comrardery and the companionship of other men. Honestly I believe it's worth sitting down and focusing making your social circle growth a legitimate goal.

I just feel so much more free and natural with a good group of friends, and you are absolutely right about a strong social circle being more important for long-term happiness. I think it helps strengthen your own identity and gives you a sense of belonging. I've written about this before, and I believe that the reason why men seek out women for 'love' and companionship is because they lack a good group of guy friends, so they think women can give them that. Honestly, everything here is just discussing social skills—just in relation to women. Women are just a small subset of social dynamics, they aren't the main category. They should just be a small part branching out of a larger group network.

The problem is, most people are just in it for themselves and they just use one another. I've noticed that. When I was a small child and saw one person help out another person without expecting anything in return, I would always hear the phrase "what are friends for?" I haven't heard that in YEARS, probably over a decade to be completely honest. It seems as though friendship and loyalty are no longer a core societal value anymore. It's kinda sad. Oh well.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

But, it is fvcking tiring when done somewhat obsessively.

This is how you become the best though.

 

[TheProspect]

Interestingly, I never hear people talking about an endgame on here. But that's what I'm thinking about often.

I think you'd agree endgame is subjective..

Do you feel like you may reach a point where you would prefer the companionship of one woman, at least for an indefinite period of time? I know you're uninterested in marriage and children but you seem like you wouldn't be totally against the companionship of one woman somewhere down the line.

Maybe the endgame for you is to hone your "game" to the point where you're able to accept exclusivity offered by a qualified plate whose company you enjoy but at the same time not falling into blue pill behaviour in the process, preventing yourself from really losing anything by being exclusive... Or maybe you feel you need more in-field experience before you determine any endgame.... Or maybe there is no endgame for you.

I personally think I'll want to fvck new girls as long as my d!ck functions, if only for the sake of novelty, but I also enjoy being able to develop a relationship. I'm not interested in marriage or being exclusive to one women forever but I also would like to be a father someday, so I have to factor that in my life choices as well as the last thing I want to do is bring a kid into a turbulent situation with inconsistent parenting or a broken home.

My endgame would be to just use red pill knowledge to help select the best candidate possible to mother my children. My one requirement for such a woman is she has to be someone I'd want my hypothetical daughter to grow up to be like. I've only came across one girl who fits that description and I'm currently in a relationship with her. I don't plan on having a kid for another 8-10 years, so I have plenty of time to think about it whereas if I was blue pill I'd probably settle for the first girl who gave me attention and knock her up within the first year or two.

I'll tell you one thing Deesade that I like about a LTR: Being that I have red pill knowledge and I'm in a relationship on my terms, I no longer worry about women in the sense that none of my daily activities revolve around "gaming" them or trying to get laid.. which believe it or not, even with moderate success became a fvcking chore after awhile. It's exactly like you said, "wanting to be the best but losing interest over time." I don't even have to worry about the relationship either because I let my gf worry about it. I feel like I have an unprecedented focus on my academics and achieving financial success that wasn't present before..... Despite everything I wrote, I'm still young, and I might decide tomorrow I want to start banging new broads again.

 

[logicallefty]

What: In the past 8-9 years or so I have grown a beer gut. I had it in 2012 when I got out of a long relationship and I thought it would hinder my ability to get the women I wanted. Honestly, it didn't hinder anything what so ever. It was business as usual when I first went looking for poon. Why: For my own health I would still like to loose the beer gut or at least part of it. How: My diet is good other than I get night cravings and eat WHEN I shouldn't. I do exercise but not enough having 3 x jobs now. I need to find some way to curve the night cravings and exercise more somehow.

 

[TheProspect]

What: In the past 8-9 years or so I have grown a beer gut. I had it in 2012 when I got out of a long relationship and I thought it would hinder my ability to get the women I wanted. Honestly, it didn't hinder anything what so ever. It was business as usual when I first went looking for poon. Why: For my own health I would still like to loose the beer gut or at least part of it. How: My diet is good other than I get night cravings and eat WHEN I shouldn't. I do exercise but not enough having 3 x jobs now. I need to find some way to curve the night cravings and exercise more somehow.

I don't think you require any complex solutions. I personally don't eat after 6pm and if I get food cravings in the evening I just slam two glasses of water and they go away quite quickly. As for exercise, I would just start with a 10 min jog down the block and back as soon as you wake up and build from there. I'm sure 10 minutes out of your day won't kill you or be time consuming, even if you have to wake up 10 minutes earlier.

 

[lizardking82]

WHAT: Pick up on my photography business and fully recover from the bad breakup I had 6 months ago.

WHY: Because I love photography and I want to work with what I love. It would not even be work. And I want to get over my break up because I know my next relationship is gonna be pretty awesome, I am gonna be attached, but carefully, and will be eyes open when and if needed so I cannot wait for the good times again.

HOW: I am trying everything possible for the photography thing. DM-ing businesses and models in Instagram everyday, going to places to create contacts, spending more and more time with succesful people to learn from them and to get in touch with their contacts, too.

As for getting fully over my breakup, I am quite content with the level achieved until now. SS has helped a lot. However, I still almost daily check her Instagram although it means almost nothing LOL it's like this old habit that I "cannot" let go. I have been working on myself mentally a lot, been practicing the new things learned and everytime one of those things works in the real world, with girls, it makes me happy and more confident.

 

[TheProspect]

As for getting fully over my breakup, I am quite content with the level achieved until now. SS has helped a lot. However, I still almost daily check her Instagram although it means almost nothing LOL it's like this old habit that I "cannot" let go. I have been working on myself mentally a lot, been practicing the new things learned and everytime one of those things works in the real world, with girls, it makes me happy and more confident.

Well it goes without saying you should delete and block her Instagram. I would suggest you delete your own Instagram as well but maybe because photography is part of your career you may have a valid reason to keep it. Maybe deleting and blocking her Instagram while just deleting the app off your phone temporarily is a good first step until the urge to check her profile daily or Instagram in general (which is a bad habit on its own) dissipitates.

 

[Trump]

What is one aspect of your game, or of your life in general, that you feel needs attention and could use the most work in order to become a better, stronger version of yourself?

This question gives women credit before credit is due. What one aspect of your 'game' could you work on? That means you have to improve yourself to get women. Wrong mindset.

I think the question we should ask ourselves is "What do you what do with your life? Be a doctor, be a lawyer, be an actor, be an investor? Whatever you to do, take the necessary steps to achieve that and have the woman of your dreams come along for the ride.'

The word 'GAME' is the worst word ever. It should be replaced with 'education' or 'how to be great for society'.

 

[lizardking82]

Well it goes without saying you should delete and block her Instagram. I would suggest you delete your own Instagram as well but maybe because photography is part of your career you may have a valid reason to keep it. Maybe deleting and blocking her Instagram while just deleting the app off your phone temporarily is a good first step until the urge to check her profile daily or Instagram in general (which is a bad habit on its own) dissipitates.

That is impossible. I keep my Insta as a means to share my photography. I do not follow her, but even if I block her, it is so easy to unblock her, it's almost worthless. I check my Instagram often times from a browser and that cannot be blocked...but it is not stopping me from doing anything, really. I am dating different girls, always looking for interesting options and I am even slowly developing feelings for one of these girls without almost any thought/feeling interference from my ex.