phil2015
Senior Don Juan
Hi guys,
Just a bit of background for anyone who has been following my experiences of a narc/bpd relationship. This is an outline of events from the last 6 weeks and I think it makes for an interesting case study for anyone who is curious:
-26th Feb - Ex takes phone into shower in morning. Due to her insecurity she had previously made a rule that neither of us could take our phone into the bathroom. Not wanting to feel like a doormat, I pull her up on it and she explodes at me. She later decided to stay at her mothers house, then comes home without warning in a taxi under the assumption I had invited another girl around. She had also made a list of things wrong with me on her phone, many of which were her own behaviour. After I months I finally lost my patience, shouted some things I regret to this day, and ask that she left
- 28th Feb - Ex is about to go to sleep with me then suddenly sits bolt upright ranting at me half asleep. She complains that we are drifting appart etc andI respond I've been fixing everything over and over again for the last 8 months. I suggest she fixes things for once, which results in another outburst and a sleepless night
1st March - I come home from work to find her gone. She texts that she has gone to her mothers and I promptly face around. She is cold and distant and despite my pleading and crying refused to come home. I go NC with her
6th March - She begins texting calling me a thief and becoming aggressive. I explain I am driving and we talk on the phone in a pleasant converataion
8th March - I go and stay with her at a house she is sitting. The night before we had had a really deep conversation on the phone for an hour exclaiming out love for eachother. When I go around though she is cold, distant and very closed off. Another argument starts that evening
9th -16th March we stay at said bosses house, pretty nice and uneventful without any disagreements. I successfully dodge an argument bullet on the Wednesday by pretending I didn't hear what she said
17th March - Good day together except she tries to start a disagreement after I accidentally say the wrong thing. Her words after, I'll never forget, were; "I actually felt like starting a row then!"
18th March - I ask her if she has any councilling arranged for her issues, and she explodes. She is convinced my upbringing is the source of all of our problems. She refuses to address things and I should not have asked her this.
Later feeling remorseful and swollen with guilt I ring her. She gets angry again and says:
"If you think all of this is my fault, you can fk off, its over and I never want to speak to you again" Then puts the phone down on me.
For some reason I accept this, block her from Facebook, block her number and blacklist her texts. I get the train home in peace listening to corey wayne.
She later blows up my phone angrily, to which I reply. "You must have known at some point I would reach the end of my patience" Then dump her over the phone.
NC
25th - She rings up in tears staying she misses me and wants me back. She mentions reconciliation. I state that's fine but you must make a 50/50 effort.
She doesn't seem willing however to make any effort and refused to meet me, staying she is busy running every night. I offer to meet her one night to go running, and she is silent for 10 seconds.....
I state she is wasting my time and hang up on her.
NC begins.
6th April - I find out from some mutual friends she is not doing well and is spending most of her time hoping about the house with her mum and cat.
There you have it guys, my breakup journey of the last 6 weeks!
Anything you would have done it said differently let me know....Enjoy
Just a bit of background for anyone who has been following my experiences of a narc/bpd relationship. This is an outline of events from the last 6 weeks and I think it makes for an interesting case study for anyone who is curious:
-26th Feb - Ex takes phone into shower in morning. Due to her insecurity she had previously made a rule that neither of us could take our phone into the bathroom. Not wanting to feel like a doormat, I pull her up on it and she explodes at me. She later decided to stay at her mothers house, then comes home without warning in a taxi under the assumption I had invited another girl around. She had also made a list of things wrong with me on her phone, many of which were her own behaviour. After I months I finally lost my patience, shouted some things I regret to this day, and ask that she left
- 28th Feb - Ex is about to go to sleep with me then suddenly sits bolt upright ranting at me half asleep. She complains that we are drifting appart etc andI respond I've been fixing everything over and over again for the last 8 months. I suggest she fixes things for once, which results in another outburst and a sleepless night
1st March - I come home from work to find her gone. She texts that she has gone to her mothers and I promptly face around. She is cold and distant and despite my pleading and crying refused to come home. I go NC with her
6th March - She begins texting calling me a thief and becoming aggressive. I explain I am driving and we talk on the phone in a pleasant converataion
8th March - I go and stay with her at a house she is sitting. The night before we had had a really deep conversation on the phone for an hour exclaiming out love for eachother. When I go around though she is cold, distant and very closed off. Another argument starts that evening
9th -16th March we stay at said bosses house, pretty nice and uneventful without any disagreements. I successfully dodge an argument bullet on the Wednesday by pretending I didn't hear what she said
17th March - Good day together except she tries to start a disagreement after I accidentally say the wrong thing. Her words after, I'll never forget, were; "I actually felt like starting a row then!"
18th March - I ask her if she has any councilling arranged for her issues, and she explodes. She is convinced my upbringing is the source of all of our problems. She refuses to address things and I should not have asked her this.
Later feeling remorseful and swollen with guilt I ring her. She gets angry again and says:
"If you think all of this is my fault, you can fk off, its over and I never want to speak to you again" Then puts the phone down on me.
For some reason I accept this, block her from Facebook, block her number and blacklist her texts. I get the train home in peace listening to corey wayne.
She later blows up my phone angrily, to which I reply. "You must have known at some point I would reach the end of my patience" Then dump her over the phone.
NC
25th - She rings up in tears staying she misses me and wants me back. She mentions reconciliation. I state that's fine but you must make a 50/50 effort.
She doesn't seem willing however to make any effort and refused to meet me, staying she is busy running every night. I offer to meet her one night to go running, and she is silent for 10 seconds.....
I state she is wasting my time and hang up on her.
NC begins.
6th April - I find out from some mutual friends she is not doing well and is spending most of her time hoping about the house with her mum and cat.
There you have it guys, my breakup journey of the last 6 weeks!
Anything you would have done it said differently let me know....Enjoy
